Throw The Bitch Out On Her Ass!

Chloe opens the door to the cabin to find Dr. Bone-us standing there. Their eyes meet and Dr. Feelgood makes a housecall. He moves in and shows why he is certified to perform tonsillectomies. Chloe slowly pulls him over to the bed and they fall into a single mass of groping, wirthing flesh.

The all-too-obvious fantasy ends. Chloe stands at the door in her teensy low-cut teddy, "Daniel, what are you doing here?"

"You mean besides soaking in the view," asks Daniel.

"How did you unlock the door," asks Chloe.

Daniel gulps and tries to catch his breath, "Spare key."

"Next time knock," says Chloe.

"Mind if I give those knockers a try right now," asks Daniel.

Chloe tells him to leave. Daniel tries to tell her he's there to deliver something, but Chloe slams the door. Daniel doubles over in pain and looks at his right hand, once capable of the most minute and delicate surgery, now most suited to be a deformed paperweight.

Victor leafs through papers in the dark Titan hallway as Brady comes up behind him, "What, are you trying to save on electricity?"

"No," says Victor, "The show is on a really tight budget. Besides the darkness helps me concentrate."

"Drugs do that for me," says Brady. He tells Victor his phone call sounded mysterious about the future of Titan, "How does that involve me?"

"We're thinking of opening up a pharmaceutical division," says Victor.

Nicole opens the mansion door to find Dr. Baker. He tells her he wants his money – NOW. As they argue, EJ comes up mumbling about ice cream flavors. He stops cold when he sees Dr. Baker, "Lucy... you got some 'splainin to do."

Nicole says she asked Dr. Baker to come since EJ had concerns about him being her OB. "We discussed that," says EJ, "Since you have confidence in him, we decided he could be your doctor, even though I had concerns about him... no offense... I'm sure you're a first rate doctor."

"When I'm sober," says Dr. Baker.

Nicole says she knows EJ still has concerns about the facility where Dr. Baker works and that's why she asked him to come. They invite him in. EJ pulls Nicole aside and asks what she is trying to prove. "That I'm in good hands with Dr. Baker," says Nicole, "Right, Dr. Baker?"

"Who do you think I am, Daniel Jonas?"

Daniel stands in the Horton cabin and tries to bandage his mangled hand, "I wish I knew something about medicine."

Fully-dressed Chloe comes up behind him, "You caught me off guard. I shouldn't have slammed the door on your hand."

"That's all right," says Daniel, "I was tired of being a surgeon anyway." He fumbles as he tries to wrap his fingers and Chloe volunteers to step in and help. She yanks his hand over, breaking three more knuckles in the process.

Their eyes meet. "Thank God," pants Daniel, "I have an extra hand left to grope with."

Dr. Baker says he's there to speak to Nicole in private. EJ wonders why that is necessary, but Nicole reassures him. She and Dr. Baker head upstairs as EJ's congenial smile fades into the DiMera scowl of death.

Chelsea and Max show up in Kate's room. Chelsea says, "Theo and I ran into Max down at the Salem river."

"Where's Theo," asks Kate.

"We left him with a couple of winos down at the dock," says Chelsea, "They said they would watch him for a half bottle of Ripple. But don't worry, we'd never leave Theo with a couple of winos and a half bottle of cheap wine. We bought them a full bottle instead."

Chelsea babbles on about Theo, Max and Charlie. Kate asks for some ice for her dry throat. Max decides to be useful and goes to get it. Kate immediately cuts to the chase, "Now that it's just you and me, what is up with you and Max?"

Victor asks Brady to come back to work at Titan.

Daniel tells Chloe he's there to make a delivery. She doesn't believe him and says she thinks he's there to check up on her since she left the hospital without talking to him. Daniel says he thinks it's time to go as Chloe gets snippy and tells him he doesn't have to check up on her for every little thing. The whole thing degenerates as Lucas walks in. Chloe yells, "Leave me alone!"

Daniel shouts, "I'm trying to leave you alone!"

Lucas asks, "What's going on in here?" Chloe stares at Daniel. Daniel stares at Chloe. Chloe stares at Lucas. Lucas stares at Daniel. Daniel stares at... you get the idea.

Lucas asks if his mom is OK. "Yes," says Daniel, "Kate is doing well. I came for another reason."

Chelsea insists there is nothing going on between her and Max, "It's just that Max is running out of nieces."

Kate doesn't buy any of it, "Methinks the lady doth protest too much."

William Shakespeare spins in his grave, "Oh, no, now they're quoting me on DOOL. Thank God I'm already dead."

Brady is stunned, "I can't quite wrap my brain around this job offer."

"You couldn't wrap your brain around a grain of sand," says Victor, "All I need to know is... are you clean?"

"I showered this morning," says Brady.

"Good," says Victor, "I'm offering you the position of Vice-CEO."

"That's the dumbest title I ever heard of," says Brady, "You'll have to pay me extra for that."

Nicole tells Dr. Baker she and EJ aren't even engaged and she can't come up with $750 G's at the drop of a hat. She tries to appeal to his compassionate side, "Don't you care? I deserve to be a mother."

Dr. Baker says, "I didn't graduate at the top of my medical school class, but doesn't that require a baby? You'll have to find someone else to play this charade with you."

Nicole begs and pleads, "I promise – I'll get you the money tomorrow." Baker relents and gives her one more day to get the money.

They walk out into the hall to find EJ, "Are you all right, Nicole? You look very upset."

Brady walks over to the bookshelf and takes down the Dictionary of Corporate Blather. He looks up his new title and reads:

"Vice-CEO – See 'Flunky.'"
Brady says she is touched that Victor would have this much faith in him. He says he won't take this lightly and will get back with Victor with his decision later. He leaves. Victor smiles.

Chelsea says, "Max and I are just buddies."

"Charlie was his buddy," says Kate, "And he was going to throw him into the river." Max returns with Kate's ice chips as she and Chelsea stare at each other.

Daniel picks up the jewelry case and shows it to them before Lucas can throw one of his famous sucker punches. He says it's a life gift from Kate that will bring them luck during their micro-marriage, "As soon as you're divorced, Kate wants it back. " Daniel leaves and Chloe goes straight for the goods. Outside, Daniel hesitates and wishes he'd gotten hold of the goods himself.

Inside, Chloe tells Lucas it was sweet of Kate to have the gift hand delivered. Lucas rolls his eyes, "Chloe... what's going on between you and Daniel?"

Chloe gives one of her most articulate answers ever, "Huh-Wha?"

Lucas smirks, "You wouldn't even look at him. You don't like him, do you?" Chloe tells him the truth is Daniel is upset with her for not checking with him before she left the hospital, "Frankly it's just conceited doctor behavior. He's a creepy prima Donna." Chloe doesn't want to talk about it any more. She wants to get to the present. She opens the box to find the necklace. Lucas tells her about its history. "OMG," says Chloe, "It was Kate's and now she's passing it on to me."

"Only as long as you're with me," says Lucas, "So think of it as a temporary loan." He encourages her to try it on.

"I can't," whines Chloe, "I just can't put it on... until my scars heal."

Outside Kate's room, Chelsea tells Max she has to go Christmas shopping. Max begs her to go to the pub with him and have a quick cup of coffee, "We'll just talk politics or something." Chelsea gives him a disapproving look. "OK," insists Max, "We'll... mime... we won't say a word."

"That would sure beat this dialogue," says Chelsea. Chelsea and Uncle Max head for the pub as Max wonders how soon his niece Ciara will be SORASed so he can date her.

Nicole assures EJ everything is fine. She turns to Dr. Baker. "We'll know more tomorrow," he says, "I'll let myself out."

EJ asks, "What did he mean when he said we'll know more tomorrow." Nicole tells him he's giving them one more day to make their decision about him being her OB, since they want EJ to be 100% certain about it. EJ smooches her and tells her whatever she decides is fine with him. Suddenly Nicole gets an urge for a hamburger and fries. She asks him to go down to the Brady pub and get it for her. "Anything else you need," asks EJ.

"Got a spare $750 large," asks Nicole. EJ leaves and Nicole picks up her phone, "Hey, it's me... I need your help, NOW!"

Max delivers lattes to their table as Chelsea makes out her Christmas list. He tells her it looks like she forgot a present for him. "For a minute there," says Chelsea, "I thought that was your way of telling me you had gotten a gift for me... not that gift giving would be a bad idea."

Max asks, "Are we having an uncomfortable moment right now."

"Not as uncomfortable as a guy dating his niece," says Chelsea. That does it. Chelsea decides it's time to leave.

"You didn't drink your latte," says Max, "Damn! That thing was $4 plus $.50 for extra foam. " He wonders what went wrong with their little non-date date.

Chloe calls Kate and tells her she just couldn't keep the necklace, "I don't deserve it."

"You saved my life," says Kate.

"See," says Chloe, "That proves I don't deserve it."

"Please accept it," says Kate, "And wear it on your wedding day."

"Twist my arm," says Chloe.

Max says he's picking up a vibe that something's wrong. Chelsea says, "It's not you... it's me."

Max consults the Guy Manual and looks up that line. The guy manual asks, "Are you that big of a loser?" Chelsea guzzles her latte and says she has to go. She winds up with a foam-stache and Max picks up his napkin and wipes it off for her. Yes, they touched, but he had protection.

Victor meets EJ at the pub, "I heard Nicole walker is carrying your child and staying at the DiMera mansion. My advice, throw the bitch out on her ass. And shut off the electricity to your hot tub."

Brady shows up at the DiMera mansion. Nicole says she wanted to talk to him on the phone, not in person. "Sorry for being a friend," says Brady.

"I need a loan," says Nicole.

"I'll be happy to leave you alone," says Brady, "What do you need – money?"

"No," says Nicole, "Granulated brown sugar. OF COURSE IT'S MONEY! I need a million dollars."

"I don't think a Vice-Flunky earns that much," says Brady.

Daniel comes into Kate's room, "Oh, you're awake. Darn, I was hoping to cop a feel before I talked to you."

Kate thanks him for delivering the necklace and says she's happy Lucas and Chloe are together, "I believe they're going to make it."

Back at the Horton cabin, that's what Lucas is hoping for. He and Chloe come up for air, "Right now," says Lucas, "I don't think I could love you any more."

"You'd better remember that," says Chloe, "when you're changing dirty diapers, watching dinner burn, yelling at the kids to finish their homework, taking out garbage and writing my alimony check."

"How many kids are we gonna have, anyway," asks Lucas.

"Counting me," asks Chloe.

Max finishes the cleanup on aisle seven. Chelsea lectures him for not doing his Christmas shopping yet. She says she's doing that because she's his friend and is watching out for him.

EJ tells Victor never to talk about Nicole like that again. Victor says he's just trying to help. He warns EJ that Nicole doesn't love anyone but herself, "If you think she's changed, you're a bigger fool than I thought you were."

Nicole tells Brady she needs the $1 million to pay Dr. Baker. "Man," gasps Brady, "Don't you have insurance? " Brady tells her even though he's a Kiriakis, he doesn't have that kind of money. Nicole decides Plan B is in order.

As Daniel smooches Kate goodbye she notices his mangled hand. He tells her it's not a big deal, "Brain surgery is usually a precise science, but not if you're operating on the brains in Salem. It was just a little accident and I will not... let it... happen... again."

Lucas and Chloe... body parts... tattoos... wide eyes as Chloe flashes back to the Dr. Jonas grope-fest. Suddenly Lucas realizes he's the only one participating in the extra curricular activities. Chloe assures him nothing is wrong and we go back to the body parts, tattoos and wide eyes.

When Brady refuses to help, Nicole throws him out. She stands at the door, picks up a vase, cradles it and calls Dr. Baker. She asks if he would take a substantial deposit. "It better be something very valuable," says Dr. Baker.

Nicole smiles, "Oh, you won't be disappointed."

EJ says, "Let me get this straight. You believed a woman 80... was it 80? Yes. Eighty years your junior was in love with you, but me... I'm the fool?"

"I knew Nicole wasn't in love with me."

"Very perceptive, Victor."

Victor tells him there is only one thing Nicole likes more than herself – money. He says sooner or later, EJ will have to face that fact. EJ is soooo grateful for the heads up. Victor assures EJ his relationship with Nicole will blow up in his face, "It's just a matter of time."


Previews
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