We Always Get Our Penguin

Nicole stands in the rumpus room and calls Brady, "Meet me at the Cheatin' Heart. I think I found the answer to my prayers."

"When did you start praying," asks Brady.

"When they started firing actors from this show," says Nicole.

Phillip and Stephanie come up with a great plan to conserve air in the vault. They decide to give each other mouth to mouth resuscitation. Just as the procedure is about to begin, Melanie walks in, "Ahem... I thought you could use some fresh air."

Stefano strolls down at the docks and barks instructions at one of his henchmen, "OK, that takes care of that. Get the job done and don't even think of thinking on your own." Stefano's toady leaves and Tony comes up.

Tony says, "I heard about the Argentinian deal and want to know why I wasn't a part of it."

Rafe comes back to the nursery. Sami, of course has been brooding about how much she hates him. Rafe opens the door and walks in. Sami screams, "Thank God, you're back!" She runs up and plasters herself to him like a crazed leech.

Nicole continues her phone conversation with Brady. EJ walks up behind her and asks what's going on.

Rafe insists he's fine. Hilda comes out of the bathroom and Rafe gets upset that she left Sami alone for a few minutes, "If you were a good agent you would hold it until you explode."

Sami insists she wasn't going anywhere. Rafe snorts, "I don't trust you as far as I can throw a piano."

Hope tells Bo they have another meeting. Bo whines, "Please, God, no."

Stefano tells Tony when he spies on him he will only find out what Stefano wants him to know. He says he decided to teach Tony a lesson that the family can move on without him, "Elvis has skills you do not have. I traded up."

Nicole tells EJ she was talking to one of her boyfriends. EJ wants the real story. Nicole says it's Christmas and she was making secret plans for EJ. "I'll consider myself put in my place," says EJ. speaking of secrets, he brings out a present and hands it to her, "It's for our baby." Nicole holds back the tears, proving for once and for all she's nothing like Sami.

Melanie gasps, "Stephanie, thank God you're OK. I was sick to death."

One gal turns to another in the audience, "I think that's a figure of speech... too bad."

Stephanie insists she is fine. Phillip orders Melanie back to work and tells Stephanie to go home and take the rest of the day off. Stephanie leaves. Melanie starts to go, but Phillip says he wants a word with her. Stephanie spies.

Sami tells Rafe she has to do something about Nicole, "That is, not me, but YOU, because I'm stuck here. I need to do some Christmas shopping because I don't want my kids to forget me while they're around Nicole."

"You don't have to worry about that," says Rafe, "No one has seen or heard from the twins in weeks."

EJ senses something is wrong. "I don't deserve you," says Nicole. Tony walks in and says he wants to talk to EJ. Nicole says she was on her way out anyway and leaves.

"She was certainly gloomy," says Tony. He tells EJ he talked with Stefano. Tony thinks Stefano is grooming EJ to be his successor, "You're making a big mistake."

Phillip asks Melanie to prepare the presentation notes. She says it's already done. Stephanie storms back and says that's impossible. Melanie says the notes are already on Phillip's desk. Phillip praises Melanie for a job well done, "So, you can take the rest of the day off, too."

"OK," she chirps, "Thank you."

As she leaves Phillip stops her and says, "When you get upstairs, just tell everyone to take the day off. We don't need employees to get work done around here."

After Melanie has gone, Stephanie warns Phillip, "Don't trust her. She may have been the one who locked us in the vault."

"Maybe I should give her a raise," says Phillip.

Stefano walks up behind Lexie at the hospital. Lexie is in no mood to see him, "Leave me alone or I will call security."

"Why would you want to wake them up," asks Stefano, "Besides, what are they going to do? I own half the hospital."

Hope wants to talk about the Christmas food drive fund and reminds Bo he scheduled the meeting, "We're trying to get people in the Christmas spirit so they will GIVE, GIVE, GIVE, GIVE, GIVE. We've got too much on our plate. I think one of us should quit work."

Nicole shows Brady a sheet of paper with a baby's picture on it, "I found this on the Internet and, like I said on the phone, it's the answer to my prayers."

Melanie is with Max, "Stephanie is making a major play for Phillip and she has already gained significant yardage."

"That just means she doesn't play for the Bengals," says Max.

She tells Max about the incident in the vault, "We got the door open about two seconds before she scored." Max doesn't want to know about it.

Phillip wants to talk about what happened in the vault. Stephanie tries to change the subject. Phillip asks, "What would have happened if that door hadn't opened?"

Stephanie says, "Well now, we'll never know, will we? But we know one thing, if things had progressed it's a sure bet there would have been a pregnancy involved since birth control is outlawed in Salem."

Sami asks Rafe to do her shopping. Rafe says he's not a concierge. Sami threatens to cry. She can turn 'em on and off at will. She fakes it, "I don't get to put up a Christmas tree for my kids or spend Christmas with my family... All alone... Heartbroken... Wah... Sad... Bambi's mother died..."

Rafe asks, "How did you find out about me and Bambi?" Sami plays him like a fiddle. Rafe breaks down and agrees to go shopping for her.

Sami pops out of her funk, "Great. All I want is one thing — the Laughing Penguin."

"Don't you want two of them — one for each kid," asks Rafe.

"No," says Sami, "If I don't give them something to fight over, how will they learn to become whining, bickering juveniles like their mother? Besides, the Laughing Penguin is for Will."

Rafe heads for the door, "What I want for Christmas is solitude." He leaves.

A viewer sits in her living room, "What I want for Christmas is for my TV to fail."

Hilda says, "You are a master. But you didn't tell him about the fact that the Laughing Penguin is sold out."

"I didn't tell him on purpose," says Sami, "The FBI's motto is, 'We always get our penguin,' right?"

Tony tells EJ Stefano is trying to stir something up between them. EJ asks, "If that's the case, aren't you playing into Stefano's hands by coming here?" Tony says all that matters is for EJ to keep his eyes open and know Stefano won't treat him differently than anyone else even though he's family.

Brady thinks Nicole's idea is dumb. She gets a call, "Yes... I'm very interested. I'd like to meet you right away. We both would."

Bo explodes, "One of us should quit our job?" He rants and bounces around the room like a pinball on steroids, "Now not only do I have decorations to put up, I have a job to quit." He continues the meltdown as he goes upstairs mumbling, "Decking the halls... boughing the holly..."

Hope yells up to him, "Get the ornaments but be careful, they're..."

CRASH!

"... fragile."

Tony says, "Stefano doesn't need an heir. He might need a fall guy." EJ says he knows Stefano cares for his family.

"Right," says Tony, "That's why I'm frozen out." He suggests EJ talk to Lexie, "She's made a mistake and is trusting him again."

Lexie tells Stefano to leave. Stefano doesn't want her to be alone with her guilt. He thinks their conversation with Moreno could be misconstrued, "You and Abe could wind up looking like Macbeth." Lexie thinks Stefano is threatening her. She stomps off.

Stefano stares, "She'll be back."

Nicole tells Brady, "It kills this woman to give up her baby but she knows it will be for the best." Brady protests. Nicole stomps off. Brady follows.

The assassin talks on the phone, "You can see him? Good. Keep him in sight until I get there. He'll lead me to that Brady bitch and then it's hasta la vista, Sami.

The guy on the other end of the line gasps, "Vista? You're going to install it on Sami's computer? I had no idea you were that cruel."

Just as Brady catches up to Nicole, Kelly comes up and meets them. Nicole says, "Hi. I'm Cindy."

Melanie advises Max to go after Stephanie before she and Phillip hook up. Max thinks Melanie is trying to keep them apart so she can make a play for Phillip. Melanie is indignant, "I wouldn't go near him if he were the last man on the planet."

Max says, "And he wouldn't go near you if you were the last nutcase on the planet."

Melanie says, "That's not true. If I wanted him I could get him. In fact, I've changed my mind."

"That's good," says Max, "Because the other one wasn't working."

Melanie vows, "I'm not going to leave Phillip alone."

Stephanie thinks she should go. Sasha comes into the vault with papers for Phillip to sign, "Hey Stephanie, would you like to go to the mall later?" Stephanie makes excuses, Phillip signs the papers and Sasha leaves.

Stephanie whines, "Nothing happened but she thinks something did. It will be all over the office tomorrow."

"Better that," says Phillip, "Than the STD that would be all over the office if we had done something."

Hilda wolfs down Sami's cookies, "These are really great! I think I'll have anoth..." The effects of Sami's baking skills finally set in. Hilda jumps up from the couch and bolts toward the bathroom, "Scuze me! I'll be right back!"

Sami takes advantage of her moment alone and calls Sister Teresa. She tells her she will visit as soon as she gets the chance.

Rafe mumbles expletives about the Laughing Penguin as he walks through the woods. He comes up to a woman and her little brat sitting on a park bench. The woman lectures the kid about only wanting to read his book after she went to all the trouble of getting him a Laughing Penguin, "Reading! Reading! That's all you do! I suppose next you'll want to do something really stupid like go to school! " Rafe comes up and asks her where she got the Laughing Penguin. She tells him they are sold out everywhere but she had a connection. She walks off with her juvenile delinquent.

The baddie stalks as Rafe makes a call, "I need a favor. Laughing Penguins are impossible to get and I need your connection in Washington to get one for me. "

"I think I can get that done," says Rafe's connection, "Since the election, the president doesn't have much to do."

Tony says Lexie went to Stefano in a moment of weakness and now he is playing her. EJ insists Stefano won't do that to him. Tony thinks Stefano will set EJ up at some point and then get him under his control, "I'm not jealous of you I just feel sorry for you."

Bo and Hope finish decorating the tree. "That was certainly a waste of three minutes," says Bo. Hope gives him a butt smack. "So," he says, "We got our annual Christmas fight out of the way."

He moves in but Hope backs away, "We don't have another three minutes to waste. "

Hope points out that there is still no star on top of the tree. Bo says, "We'll have Ciara put it up there when she comes home from her birthday party."

"That's no way to spend your sixteenth birthday," says Hope, "I'll do it."

"I know what that means," says Bo, "That means I'll do it." Bo goes for the ladder.

Kelly gives Nicole and Brady her sob story. She's poor and skipping her visits to the clinic because she doesn't have the money. Nicole tells her to stop worrying. She hands her a wad-o-cash and tells her to go to the doctor and let them know how things work out. Kelly gives Nicole an ultrasound picture, "It's going to be a smart baby."

"I hope not," says Nicole, "If it turns out smart, people will be able to figure out it can't be mine."

Kelly leaves for the doctor and promises to call Nicole, "You're so lucky. You're the nicest wife in the world."

Brady turns to Nicole, "I have a meeting." He takes off.

Nicole snorts, "Meeting my ass."

Phillip asks Stephanie out. "I can't," says Stephanie, "There is something I have to do first."

Max says Nick wrote him and wants to talk to Melanie about something important, "It's financial." Max hands her a letter. Melanie flashes back to talking to Nick about dividing up the profits from his invention. She decides to go visit him.

Lexie comes into the rumpus room. EJ says Tony was just there to warn him about Stefano and used her as an example of what not to do. Lexie says she never meant for anyone to get hurt. EJ says, "You went to Stefano DiMera and told him there were threats against his family. What did you expect?"

Bo stands on top of the ladder-of-death and struggles with the star.

CRASH!

Hope runs up to his broken and bleeding body on the floor, "Bo! Are you all right?" She surveys the damage, "OMG! I hope his pancreas was under warranty! "

Brady follows Kelly back into the Cheatin' Heart, where she is guzzling drinks and sucking a cigarette. "How sweet," says Brady, "Smoking and drinking for two. You're not only a two bit con, you're a stupid two bit con." Nicole watches and drops her jaw.

Hilda comes out of the bathroom and shuts the door behind her, "Don't go in there. It smells just like it did when you were baking those cookies."

Sami tells her she has thrown the cookies away, "I wonder what's taking Rafe so long?"

Baddie stalks as Rafe thanks his contact for the Laughing Penguin. The contact leaves. The assassin rushes out and stabs Rafe in the stomach. He holds the knife at Rafe's throat as blood gushes.


Previews
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