Milking It For All It's Worth

Melanie reads the mystery note, "I saw you in the cemetery and I know what happened." She strikes a match and holds it next to the note for an eternity.

Chelsea stomps into the Java Café where her computer is waiting. A guy comes up to her, "Hey, Chelsea, what's up?"

Nicole reads her baby book, "Cramps... twinges... May be due to the uterus and abdominal muscles expanding. Varicose veins... hemorrhoids... eeeeuuuwwww. Why do the women have to do all the work and daddies stand around and be stupid? Speaking of which? where is Daddy?"

Daddy is over at the Horton cabin looking confused as Johnny touches Sami and babbles, "Baby!"

EJ asks, "What is my son trying to tell me?"

Sami takes Johnny into the other room and walks out announcing he instantly fell asleep, "Ambien sure works fast on infants. EJ, I wish you would watch your tongue around our son."

EJ says, "I want to know why he touched you and said 'baby.'"

"He was just commenting on my mental level," says Sami. She changes the subject back to something more pleasant — the fact that she almost got blown away a couple of hours ago. This sends Sami into one of her sobbing spirals of self-pity, "What am I gonna do? Allie may may be applying for college the next time I see her, next week, so pardon me for being a little flipped out."

Chloe comes in and watches the drama queen in action, "I see you're still here milking it for all it's worth." Sami accuses Chloe of insensitivity.

EJ wants an answer to his question, "I want to know what Johnny meant earlier when he said 'baby.'"

Sami says, "He's just learning new words." Roman chimes in and tells them it's about time for Sami to leave.

Nicole bounces Pookie around, "So someone took a potshot at Sami. If EJ is holding that little twit's hand while I'm standing here growing stretch marks, I swear I'm going to shoot them both."

Pookie rolls her eyes, "Shoot me along with them, please."

Chelsea whines and rambles, "It's not fair. I mean, I knew she was sick but we were just too preoccupied with our own little issues. I wonder if it's too late."

A knock interrupts Melanie's bout with pyromania. She opens the door to find, who else, Nick. Nick sniffs, "I smell smoke, what's going on?"

She tells him she doesn't smell anything, "If there were a problem an alarm would have gone off."

He says he came up because he was worried about her, "I saw your last blog." More sniffing, "I swear I smell smoke." Melanie "confesses" to having a cigarette. Nick won't judge, "Can I do anything for you?"

"I'm fine," insists Melanie, "I think I'll live." The audience boos.

Nick notices the bags sitting on her bed, "Going somewhere?

Melanie says, "Yeah. I'm getting the hell out of Salem."

Roman tells Sami it's time to go. We have a tear-jerking goodbye. Sami supplies the tears, Lucas and EJ supply the jerk. EJ pries Johnny from Sami's hands. Smoochie. He and Roman go outside. Lucas grabs Allie. Sami tells him to take care of her. "You know I will," vows Lucas. Sami leaves. Lucas and Chloe stuff Allie in her crib and hit the shower.

Outside Roman tries to encourage Sami. He motions his man Friday to take her to the patrol car and warns her not to take chances, "You are to have no contact with anyone, especially EJ DiMera."

Melanie says being in Salem isn't working for her. Nick says running away will only make her look more guilty. He wants to help her, "If you let me, I will defend and protect you. I care about you. There is a connection here. I know you feel it. I will (say it with him) be there for you."

Melanie asks, "Are you wanting to get serious with me?"

Lucas stuffs Allie in the next room and he and Chloe snuggle up together. Chloe thinks he's sad Sami is gone. Lucas says he's sad, but for the kids' sake. Chloe admits to being happy Sami is gone, "Are you hedging your bet on this, Lucas? I think you are heartbroken Sami is gone and you hate me for being glad."

Nicole gorges on ice cream. EJ walks in. Nicole gets trés sarcastic, "Oh, the face looks familiar. Let's see... it's... it's... EJ! Yes, you're the guy whose baby I'm having." She lectures him for running to Sami.

EJ consults the Guy Manual and reads, "It's not about the other woman; it's about your son."

"I wanted to make sure Johnny was safe," says EJ.

Nicole immediately changes her tune and apologizes for being so snarky, "Where is the little guy now?"

"He fell asleep in the car so I carried him upstairs and put him to bed."

Nicole moves in, "Hmmm... maybe I should take you upstairs and get you into bed."

"Wow," thinks EJ, "That book is worth its weight in gold."

He declines and tells her about the sniper, "I want to go for a walk to clear my mind."

"That won't get you to the edge of the property," says Nicole. He asks Nicole if she will watch Johnny while he is gone. Nicole agrees, "If Sami can do it, how hard can it be, right?" EJ leaves. Johnny immediately starts crying. Nicole makes a face and heads upstairs.

Roman escorts Sami into the safehouse. "Well," says Sami, "At least it has indoor plumbing. That's a step up form the Horton cabin." Roman gives his man Darryl instructions, he and Sami share a hug and Roman leaves.

"When do we eat," asks Sami, "I'm ready for a steak."

"Sorry," says Darryl, "I'm a vegan."

"I'm a Catholic," says Sami.

"I don't eat anything with eyes," says Darryl, "So here's the drill: I do the shopping after I get a backup. You never go anywhere."

"Not even the mall," whines Sami, "You mean I'm stuck here alone with a vegan?"

"That's about the size of it."

The sniper stalks.

WARNING: THE SURGEON GENERAL RECOMMENDS THE MUTE BUTTON FOR THE NEXT SEGMENT OF THE SHOW.

Johnny cries and cries and cries and cries. Nicole and Pookie deal with the situation. Nicole sings a lullaby, "Rooooocccckkkk a bye baaaabbbbyy..." Johnny's crying sounds better. He goes into high gear and starts wailing. He's Sami's kid all right. Nicole picks him up, "PeeeeeUuuuuu! There is a little surprise in here." She sticks Johnny out at arms-length and carries him to the incinerator.

YOU MAY NOW UN-MUTE YOUR SET. OH, WAITAMINUTE, LUCAS IS TALKING SO YOU MAY WANT TO LEAVE IT ON MUTE.

Lucas insists he isn't hedging his bet. Chloe lectures, "I'm tired of being the bad guy while you act noble and mature."

"I'm good at acting noble and mature," says Lucas, "Being noble and mature is a whole different ballgame."

Lucas tells her he feels the same way she does about Sami, "The woman has driven me nuts my whole life."

That's the one thing she's been very successful at," says Chloe.

Things calm down as they both agree they are delighted Sami is out of the picture. "Yeah," says Chloe, "But what happens when they catch the sniper next week and she comes back."

"I don't think she'll be back for a long time," says Lucas.

Chloe suddenly finds a clue, "GASP! So Sami is using protective custody to keep her secret from EJ!"

Darryl pulls out a cigar and asks Sami if she minds if he smokes. Sami is indignant and tells him she's allergic to things like cigars, cigarettes and the truth, "Vegetables and a cigar? Yuck. I don't want to be alone."

Darryl pulls out his handcuffs, "These will calm you down." Sami backs off. "I'll be right outside," says Darryl.

He leaves. Sami pats her tummy, "You and me, kid."

Nick and Melanie come into the Java Café. She giggles and says she was just teasing him when she asked if he was getting serious. She appreciates his friendship. They start working up the master plan for her escape. She asks about his biodiesel plan and says if he can come up with something like that she knows he has to be smart. Nick vows to use his brainpower to get her out of this jam. Melanie leaves.

Chelsea sees Nick across the room and goes over to him.

Nicole has changed Johnny's diaper. More crying, so she brings him a glass of milk, hands it to him, bends down and smiles.

SPEW!

Nicole stands there drenched in milk as Johnny giggles. Well, at least something cheered him up. Nicole slowly and calmly walks out into the hall and softly shuts the door.

SCREAM!

Melanie comes back out and Chelsea starts to leave. Nick stops her but she tells him she realizes they aren't as close as they once were.

Melanie walks up and Chelsea chirps, "Having fun with my former boyfriend?"

"Just having fun, period," says Melanie, "He's nice."

"Nice but naïve," says Chelsea, "He doesn't see you for the scheming bitch that you are."

EJ walks in and finds Nicole asleep with Johnny and Pookie playing on her lap.

Chloe vows not to tell anyone Sami's secret. Lucas tells her Sami keeping him from Will is a bad memory. Chloe rants against Sami. Lucas thinks Sami would change her behavior since the only one who gets hurt by it is Sami.

Sami discovers an envelope in her purse, "How did this get in here?"

Nick umpires the spat between Chelsea and Melanie. Chelsea gets in a last shot, "Poor Melanie, I guess that's what happens when you murder your own father. You're quite the little topic around town."

Not to be outdone, Melanie has her own comeback, "I heard you hit your brother and left him on the road to die."

A referee tosses a yellow flag and charges them both with unsportsmanlike conduct, "The penalties offset... play may continue."

Chelsea hauls off and...

SLAP!

She gets in Melanie's face, "Nick can't see you for who you are but I do. When I dated your brother Max everyone told him he deserved better. They were right but he deserves better than you." She turns to Nick, "I feel bad for you." Out she goes.

Nick makes excuses, "She's upset at me and taking it out on you." Melanie wants to go home. Nick wants to get her tea. He has her sit and promises to come up with a plan by tomorrow, "Everything will be Better. I promise." He leaves. Melanie searches the net on her phone for the first flight out of Salem.

Lucas comes out of the bedroom where he has gone in to make sure Allie is completely drugged and won't disturb them. Chloe tries to figure out a way to win Lucas over. Lucas says he can think of a way. Things develop.

Nicole wakes up and finds Johnny missing. She panics, screams and searches. She gets on her knees and looks under the couch. EJ steps up and looms over her, "Nicole, what have you done with my son?"

The blood drains from Nicole's face. "Just kidding," guffaws EJ. Nicole isn't particularly amused. EJ just can't pull off a practical joke like Lucas. He tells her about coming back and finding her asleep on the couch. Nicole tells him Johnny was a little angel. Smooching ensues. Nicole asks, "So, when is Sami coming back."

"Not for a very long time," says EJ.

Back at the safehouse, Sami goes through pictures of Johnny she found in the envelope, "EJ must've left these." Darryl comes back and asks about the photos. Sami says the photos were in her purse and tells him she figures EJ left them there for her.

"EJ DiMera," asks Darryl. He takes the pictures and searches her suitcase to make sure EJ didn't plant a tracking device.

Crackling sounds from outside interrupt his search. Darryl goes outside to check on things.

Scuzzo the sniper is on the phone, "She's disappeared. Dropped out of sight. I'll find her and this time she won't get away."

A DOUBLE FADEOUT SHOT OF SAMI AND SCUZZO! OMG! WE HAVEN'T HAD AN ARTSY DOUBLE FADEOUT IN AGES! OH! THE DRAMA! OH THE ARTWORK! IF A DOUBLE FADEOUT DOESN'T BRING YOU BACK MONDAY, NOTHING WILL!

Previews
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