A Fly In The Baby Ointment

Tympani drums beat to underscore the gripping drama. They've gotta do something to tell us this is drama because the plot sure doesn't make that clear. The sniper has Sami in his sights, but she and EJ scoot around the room like pinballs and he can't get a bead on her. Sami tells EJ to stop worrying about her. EJ doesn't think she's doing so great. Sami isn't interested in his opinion. Lucas contemplates the dust bunnies over in the corner.

Nicole doesn't want to hear about another Sami scheme, so Chloe drops her effort to tell Nicole about Sami's 'situation.' Nicole wants to change the subject, "Let's talk about something uplifting." They talk about Chloe's bra, since Nicole's doesn't have anything to uplift. Nicole goes to get a baby naming book.

Stephanie blabbers, blubbers and bawls. She bumps into Phillip and tells him she and Max broke up. Phillip immediately sends a congratulation text to Max.

Max arrives at the cop shop and wonders why his sister's name is circled on the top of the suspects list.

Nick and Melanie come to the pub after dinner. Melanie asks, "What do you Salemites do for fun?"

"Mainly," says Nick, "We play practical jokes on each other by doing things like scaring the bejabbers out of each other coming back from the dead." Right on cue, Melanie looks over at a guy sitting at a barstool. He swings around...

TRENT! Back from the dead already.

Nicole suggests girls' names, "Destiny! Diana!" Chloe isn't into this. Nicole decides to wait and choose a name later. Chloe says she's worried about her. Nicole insists she's never been better. She tells her about EJ wanting a family and a house with a picket fence.

"What did he say," asks Chloe.

"He said it doesn't suck to have me around."

"YES," squeals Chloe, "I'd definitely count that as a marriage proposal."

Nicole says, "I don't know... Insecurity is rearing its ugly head and I think EJ is on the fence."

"If it's the picket fence," says Chloe, "he's probably pretty uncomfortable." Chloe says she hopes Nicole and EJ can share a life.

Nicole wonders if now Chloe's sounding skeptical, "I'll always be loyal to you, Chloe. The next time I contaminate you with flesh-eating bacteria, I'll use a milder strain. I know you would never keep anything from me." Suddenly, Chloe runs out to make a call. Outside, she frets and hesitates.

The sniper takes aim. EJ stands in the way as the sniper's cross-hairs land on EJ's back. Half the audience screams, "NO! NOT THE PRETTY BOY! SHOOT LUCAS!"

The other half of the audience screams, "KILL THE RAPIST," at which point a massive Jujube fight breaks out between the LUMIs and the EJAMIs.

Sorry, I got distracted. Flying Jujubes are a lot more entertaining than the show.

Chloe calls Lucas and tells him Nicole deserves a to know. She wants his permission to give her a heads up. Lucas vetoes it. Chloe snorts and says she won't be loyal to Sami. Lucas, always in control of his women, panics and bolts. Sami wants EJ to leave too. He says she can't just get rid of him that easily and wants to know what she is doing at the Horton cabin.

Melanie watches Trent spin on his barstool and zones. She runs out. Nick stands there with that confused look on his face guys hold in reserve for moments just like this.

Bo runs through all the evidence against Melanie. They ask Max to corroborate Stephanie's story.

Stephanie tells Phillip they can't work things out after what she did. She fills him in on telling Bo and Hope. Phillip asks about the wallet. She tells him it's at the police station. Phillip tells her she did the right thing. "And what did that get me," whines Stephanie, "alone and miserable." Phillip insists Max will forgive her. He leaves for a "meeting."

Melanie staggers into her room. Trent sits propped up on the bed and smiles, "I'm baaaaaaaaack! Guilt is powerful stuff. That's why you've conjured me up." Trent stands up and Melanie dives onto the bed and covers her face. Trent asks, "Did you think you could kill me and just walk off? Killing someone stays with you."

Melanie screams, "I didn't kill you!" She whispers, "Or at least I don't remember killing you."

"Poor baby," mocks Trent, "You're just a mess aren't you? You murdered the one who brought you into this world. Patricide. The most heinous of crimes." Melanie can't take it. She bolts out the door to her room and runs straight into Phillip's arms. Fortunately, those are a pair of body parts he still has two of.

The sniper takes aim.

Sami wants EJ to leave. EJ wants to know what is going on. Sami wants to go to bed and pull the covers over her head and pretend none of this happened. Suddenly, EJ dives at her, "GET DOWN!" The sniper fires and the window shatters as EJ and Sami hit the deck.

Max tells Bo and Hope he and Stephanie broke up tonight. Hope says, "Bo and I know what it's like to have people in difficult circumstances pull you away from the way you love. We've been pulling each other away like that for years."

Max says, "The fact is Melanie never confessed anything."

Stephanie walks into the room and overhears, "WHAT?"

Phillip wants to know why Melanie is acting so gnarly, "I know, Melanie. Stephanie told me what you did to her. I also know what you did to your father."

Chloe and Nicole toast being BFFs. Nicole wants to know why Chloe got so serious. Chloe says she just called Lucas and told him she won't be back for a while. Nicole asks, "You had to leave the room to do that?"

"I was just being courteous," says Chloe.

"Why did you pick now to start doing that," asks Nicole. She contemplates her glass of sparkling cider, "Who would have thought I'd be toasting with cider. It hasn't been that hard being sober, but I miss my friend vodka. The specter of Sami hangs over everything."

"I know the feeling," says Chloe.

"She's like a fly in the baby ointment," says Nicole.

Chloe decides to come clean, "Nicole... what I wanted to tell you was...."

Lucas rushes in, "NO!"

EJ asks if Sami is OK. Sami blitherpanics. Now that bullets are flying, EJ decides he should go. Sami doesn't want him to.

Stephanie lectures Max for calling her a liar. Hope takes Stephanie outside. Bo tells Max he's not being noble; he's turned his back on the truth, "You're ruining your life."

"I finished that project a long time ago," says Max.

Phillip and Melanie argue. Melanie insists she didn't kill Trent. Phillip is skeptical. He threatens to talk to the cops. Melanie begs him not to.

Lucas rambles and babbles. Nicole shuts Lucas up and asks Chloe what's up. Lucas just can't stop. His mouth is a runaway freight train, "I should tell you myself."

Roman lectures Sami for coming back to the island. He barks orders to his troops, "Cordon off the area! Search for evidence! Determine the shooter's position! Find the nearest Krispy Kreme! " Marlena comes in and plasters herself to Sami.

John surveys the scene. Marlena tells John they will be fine there as soon as the lead stops flying. Sami sobs. Snot flies. Sami is certain the guy won't stop until he gets her.

Hope brings Stephanie water. Stephanie insists Max has changed since Melanie came into his life. Hope offers another perspective, "I think Max is just making up for all the years he (say it with her) couldn't be there for you. I think he's struggling with his identity right now. If he refuses to say..."

Stephanie says, "Then I lost Max for nothing."

Bo and Max have a tiresome argument. "Stephanie betrayed me," says Max, "Would you put up with that? " Max swears Melanie is innocent.

Lucas stammers around. He says Sami and EJ share a child. Nicole reminds him that she already got that memo. He says things won't be the same after she has her baby. Lucas' phone interrupts as a blithering Sami tells him about the shooting. Lucas, always in control of his women, panics and bolts.

On the way out he tells the girls, "Someone tried to kill Sami!"

Nicole and Chloe chime in unison, "Tried? Damn!"

Melanie continues to claim innocence and tells Phillip to get out. Phillip says he doesn't like seeing her upset. He knows Trent abused her. Melanie takes overacting to a new level, "OK! You figured me out! I didn't get a lot of love growing up and that's why I'm an out and out bitch! So I murdered my father and you got it out of me! Kudos, babe!"

Nicole wonders where EJ is. John pops in, "Elvis is with Samantha. He just saved her life."

Sami continues her meltdown, "He's not going to stop until he kills me, right?"

"We can only hope," says Roman.

Bo and Max have the same old argument. Max rants, "I've realized I was better off than Melanie growing up. I had a great family. A great mom... a great dad... a moronic brother. I'm not letting Melanie go down for a murder she didn't commit." Bo gets tired of the verbiage and releases him.

Outside, Max asks Hope about Stephanie. Hope tells him, "She left. Go after her."

Melanie hopes Phillip got all that and even hopes he's wearing a wire, "I'll repeat it in case you didn't get it the first time... I was unloved and miserable as a child and that's why I offed my dad. And now you can go." Phillip apologizes for treating her unfairly. He knows just because she had the wallet doesn't mean she killed Trent. She says he's the only one who really knows about the wallet. She says her dad gave it to her, "I have to make you believe me."

"How," asks Phillip.

Roman announces he will be putting a guard on Sami 24/7, "There is only one way to keep you safe — get you as far away from the SPD as possible."

Stephanie bumps into Nick. He says he was with Melanie and then she left. Max comes in and asks Stephanie to talk. He apologizes for what happened at the station. He says he didn't mean to call her a liar.

Stephanie isn't pleased, "You just meant to have Bo and Hope come to that conclusion on their own. It's over, Max. we're done." She walks out.

Melanie says Phillip either believes her or not. Phillip says, "Bo's mom has been accused of murder." He starts to leave. She says she lied about having pride, "I am willing to buy your silence."

Phillip says, "But I don't need your money."

Melanie moves in, "I'm not talking about money."

"I get it," says Phillip, "Since you're jailbait, I touch you and go to prison for 20 years. That'll keep me quiet." She loosens his tie.

Nicole goes on a rampage, "I don't believe it! EJ is with Sami! He said he was going to the office."

John is pragmatic, "I guess he took the long way around." John tells her about EJ's heroism, "I think Elvis will be closer than before now that she's in danger."

Lucas and Chloe rush into the drama at the Horton cabin. The song Fools Rush In plays in the background. They all want to hear Roman's plan. Roman lays it out, "We are putting you into a temporary witness protection program."


Previews
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