What You Catch From A Toilet Seat
Bo huffs and puffs. He yanks tubes and wires. His machines beep. He sits on the edge of his bed, stands up and DOWN GOES BO.
Leonard the INS agent asks Sami if she loves EJ. Helio and Julianne never danced like Sami does after that question. Meanwhile, EJ tells Maggie he loves her idea.
Lexie and a nurse rush in to help Bo as he mumbles, "Hope's in trouble."
Hope stares out a window and surveys her room. She finds a scrapbook under the bed.
Impatient but wacko Ava waits for Patch. She picks up the car phone and tells the chauffeur, "Let's go," but looks up to see Patch staring through the window.
Burke asks again if Sami loves EJ. Sami gets snotty and assures him she does. EJ walks up to the table, smooches her on the cheek and says, "You miss me too."
"Like a bad rash," says Sami. EJ says he was just on the phone with Mickey, who has offered him a partnership.
"A partnership," asks Burke, "Is that what they're calling an entry level job these days?"
EJ says, "Mickey is semi-retired and wants me to help." Burke wasn't aware EJ is an attorney. EJ tells him he became a lawyer years ago, "And now here in the US I'm barred and certified."
"Don't you mean certifiable," asks Burke, "I don't think you exactly have the world's best work ethic."
Lexie tries to help, "What's up, Bo."
"I am." Bo remembers Patch's call and visit. He wiggles and Lexie threatens to sedate him if he doesn't behave.
She thinks he has damaged his pancreas, "What kind of trouble is Hope in?"
Bo tries to fake it, "Hope's in trouble? I thought I had a dream. Then I saw she wasn't here."
Patch and Ava exchange no-so-niceties. Patch asks about Hope/Kayla. Ava tells him she is fine. Patch wants to see her, "That was the deal."
Ava nukes, "We had a deal. It had to do with a preacher."
"Something came up," says Patch, "Things aren't the same, baby."
"No one has called me baby lately," says Ava.
"What do they call you," asks Patch.
"Bitch," says Ava, "Crazy broad. You know, things that fit. But I know you love me."
Patch sighs, "Yeah." Ava tries to work him, but Patch insists on going to see Hope/Kayla. Ava agrees. Patch tells her he doesn't see them getting back together.
Ava doesn't like that and doesn't want him to tell her she's nuts, "I didn't remember you being so stupid."
"Not only are you nuts but you're forgetful, too," says Patch. He rages. Ava threatens Hope/Kayla. Patch shuts his yap and then changes the subject. He wants to know how she found out Hope/Kayla was his wife. Ava says she has her ways.
Patch gets on her about the plane incident. She claims it was an accident, "I would never hurt someone on purpose."
Patch yells, "Well, you just threatened to kill my wife and unborn baby."
The nutcase screams, "That's different!"
Hope leafs through the scrapbook and finds newspaper clippings. "AVA VITALE IS NEW PRESIDENT OF TRANSWORLD." "TRANSWORLD STOCK SKYROCKETS." "GUINNESS NAMES HOPE BRADY RECORD HOLDER FOR NUMBER OF TIMES KIDNAPPED."
Kayla comes into Bo's room. She says Dr. Jonas has a seminar today, so that makes Bo her patient. Stephanie is supposedly with Max and since Patch wasn't there, Kayla was able to make her escape. She wonders if Patch is around.
EJ and Sami work on Burke. They assure him they are the dream couple of Salem. Sami says her family just loves EJ, "They think he is quite a catch, and not what you catch from a toilet seat."
EJ grabs Sami's nose, "Spunky today aren't you, sweetheart?" Sami kicks something under the table and it ain't his nose.
Lou Grant steps in, "Back off, buddy! I LIKE SPUNK!"
EJ suddenly claims he has a cramp in his foot and has to go walk it off. He leaves. Burke asks for one more visit with the idyllic couple and then leaves.
EJ comes back and he and Sami take bickering to new levels. They agree to leave each other's feet and noses alone. EJ walks off as Maggie comes over, "You seem to have your nose out of joint. He gets to you doesn't he?"
"Why are you on his side," says Sami.
"I am on Johnny's side," says Maggie, By the way, where are the twins? "
"Ciara is watching them," says Sami. She tells her she misses Lucas.
"I think they have inoculations for things like that," says Maggie.. Mickey comes up and Sami questions his hiring EJ. She doesn't think EJ is even licensed.
"We don't stand on little formalities like that at the Horton firm," says Mickey.
Bo says Steve was there but took off. He didn't say way where he was going. Lexie and Kayla gang up on Bo about getting out of bed. Bo claims he slipped. The girls don't buy it. A nurse calls Lexie out. As she leaves, Kayla asks what's going on.
Patch wants to tell Ava about the terror at 30,000 feet. Ava don' wanna hear it. Patch tells her about OMB's tragic but needless suicide. Ava screams and tells him to stop it, "I feel like my brain is splitting in two."
"That wouldn't be fair for you to have two and the rest of us none," says Patch.
"I HATE YOU!"
"A minute ago you loved me," he says, "Just take it easy."
"Don't tell me that," screams the nutjob, "The plane crash wasn't my fault. It was your fault. You killed him."
Ava blames Patch for OMB's death because he left her at the altar. Patch doesn't see it that way. Ana tiptoes into the darkside. Patch tells her she has hurt enough people. She threatens to hurt more if she has to. Patch suggests trying to work this out, "Tell me what you really want."
"I want my life back," says Jabba the Nut, "I want to walk down that aisle and see you waiting for me there. I want the life you promised me."
Kayla grills Bo about what Steve is up to and why he tried to get out of bed. "I don't know what Patch is doing," says Bo, "And most of the time, he doesn't either. I got out of bed because I was just trying to get some exercise."
Kayla doesn't buy it. "And where is Hoooooooppp..." PAIN-WRETCH! It seems doctor Johnson is good at dishing out advice but not so good at taking it.
Maggie, Sami, Mickey and his new partner chat. EJ and Mickey introduce themselves to each other.
Sami asks, "Do you always appoint someone a partner before you have even met him?"
"We don't stand on little formalities at the Horton firm," says Mickey.
Mickey asks Sami her opinion of EJ – He wonders if EJ is a typical DiMera. Sami says he's not. Mickey decides EJ will have to earn his partnership and is on probation until he can prove himself. "Until then, you'll be doing a lot of work for little money." Mickey leaves. EJ turns to Maggie and thanks her, and then Maggie follows Mickey.
EJ and Sami discuss their extended-extended family issues.
Hope puts down the scrapbook and looks at the pictures on the desk.
Ava tells Patch he ruined her life and might ruin Hope/Kayla's life as well as their unborn child. She thinks he and Kayla don't have any kids yet. Patch just wants to make sure no one else gets hurt. Ava wonders how. Patch plays along, "I can be that man again if you still want me to be."
Lexie and the nurse rush back into Bo's room to tend to Kayla. Kayla insists she was feeling fine right before she had her big attack.
Hope remembers Ava telling her what happened after Patch left.
Maggie thanks Mickey for giving EJ a chance. Mickey still has problems with him. The folks behind them at the bar drink up. Mickey turns to one of the drunks there and asks, "Hey, stranger, how would you like a partnership at the Horton firm?"
Mickey goes back to EJ and Sami's table. EJ thanks him for the job. Mickey wishes he could help more. Sami says her mom will help with their other problems.
Steve says he will be Patch for Ava. She just has to promise not to hurt anyone else. "Why would I," she says, "now that I've got the man back I love." She asks if he still wants three kids.
"No," says Patch, "I've run out of clothing and crop names."
Lexie takes Kayla to lie down. Bo sits alone and starts to get out of bed again.
EJ doesn't know if Marlena will be happy about helping. They argue about that. Mickey interrupts the Bickersons and says his experience is not in immigration law.
"Just what is your specialty," says EJ.
"Filing appeals for clients whose cases I have bungled," says Mickey. He leaves. Bicker-o-rama ensues. Sami decides she has a plan. They leave.
Outside, Mickey hires two winos as interns.
Patch and Ava walk in. Steve and Hope/Kayla rush each other but Ava separates them, "Not so close. Ava insists she has been treating Hope well. Hope isn't so sure. The wackaroo tells Patch, "I love you but Kayla has turned you into a sniveling little wimp. She broke you and I can fix you." Ava gets upset when she discovers Hope has been going through her stuff.
Bo stands and hyperventilates, "Hang on fancy face, I'm gonna find you."
Previews
========
You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.
Leonard the INS agent asks Sami if she loves EJ. Helio and Julianne never danced like Sami does after that question. Meanwhile, EJ tells Maggie he loves her idea.
Lexie and a nurse rush in to help Bo as he mumbles, "Hope's in trouble."
Hope stares out a window and surveys her room. She finds a scrapbook under the bed.
Impatient but wacko Ava waits for Patch. She picks up the car phone and tells the chauffeur, "Let's go," but looks up to see Patch staring through the window.
Burke asks again if Sami loves EJ. Sami gets snotty and assures him she does. EJ walks up to the table, smooches her on the cheek and says, "You miss me too."
"Like a bad rash," says Sami. EJ says he was just on the phone with Mickey, who has offered him a partnership.
"A partnership," asks Burke, "Is that what they're calling an entry level job these days?"
EJ says, "Mickey is semi-retired and wants me to help." Burke wasn't aware EJ is an attorney. EJ tells him he became a lawyer years ago, "And now here in the US I'm barred and certified."
"Don't you mean certifiable," asks Burke, "I don't think you exactly have the world's best work ethic."
Lexie tries to help, "What's up, Bo."
"I am." Bo remembers Patch's call and visit. He wiggles and Lexie threatens to sedate him if he doesn't behave.
She thinks he has damaged his pancreas, "What kind of trouble is Hope in?"
Bo tries to fake it, "Hope's in trouble? I thought I had a dream. Then I saw she wasn't here."
Patch and Ava exchange no-so-niceties. Patch asks about Hope/Kayla. Ava tells him she is fine. Patch wants to see her, "That was the deal."
Ava nukes, "We had a deal. It had to do with a preacher."
"Something came up," says Patch, "Things aren't the same, baby."
"No one has called me baby lately," says Ava.
"What do they call you," asks Patch.
"Bitch," says Ava, "Crazy broad. You know, things that fit. But I know you love me."
Patch sighs, "Yeah." Ava tries to work him, but Patch insists on going to see Hope/Kayla. Ava agrees. Patch tells her he doesn't see them getting back together.
Ava doesn't like that and doesn't want him to tell her she's nuts, "I didn't remember you being so stupid."
"Not only are you nuts but you're forgetful, too," says Patch. He rages. Ava threatens Hope/Kayla. Patch shuts his yap and then changes the subject. He wants to know how she found out Hope/Kayla was his wife. Ava says she has her ways.
Patch gets on her about the plane incident. She claims it was an accident, "I would never hurt someone on purpose."
Patch yells, "Well, you just threatened to kill my wife and unborn baby."
The nutcase screams, "That's different!"
Hope leafs through the scrapbook and finds newspaper clippings. "AVA VITALE IS NEW PRESIDENT OF TRANSWORLD." "TRANSWORLD STOCK SKYROCKETS." "GUINNESS NAMES HOPE BRADY RECORD HOLDER FOR NUMBER OF TIMES KIDNAPPED."
Kayla comes into Bo's room. She says Dr. Jonas has a seminar today, so that makes Bo her patient. Stephanie is supposedly with Max and since Patch wasn't there, Kayla was able to make her escape. She wonders if Patch is around.
EJ and Sami work on Burke. They assure him they are the dream couple of Salem. Sami says her family just loves EJ, "They think he is quite a catch, and not what you catch from a toilet seat."
EJ grabs Sami's nose, "Spunky today aren't you, sweetheart?" Sami kicks something under the table and it ain't his nose.
Lou Grant steps in, "Back off, buddy! I LIKE SPUNK!"
EJ suddenly claims he has a cramp in his foot and has to go walk it off. He leaves. Burke asks for one more visit with the idyllic couple and then leaves.
EJ comes back and he and Sami take bickering to new levels. They agree to leave each other's feet and noses alone. EJ walks off as Maggie comes over, "You seem to have your nose out of joint. He gets to you doesn't he?"
"Why are you on his side," says Sami.
"I am on Johnny's side," says Maggie, By the way, where are the twins? "
"Ciara is watching them," says Sami. She tells her she misses Lucas.
"I think they have inoculations for things like that," says Maggie.. Mickey comes up and Sami questions his hiring EJ. She doesn't think EJ is even licensed.
"We don't stand on little formalities like that at the Horton firm," says Mickey.
Bo says Steve was there but took off. He didn't say way where he was going. Lexie and Kayla gang up on Bo about getting out of bed. Bo claims he slipped. The girls don't buy it. A nurse calls Lexie out. As she leaves, Kayla asks what's going on.
Patch wants to tell Ava about the terror at 30,000 feet. Ava don' wanna hear it. Patch tells her about OMB's tragic but needless suicide. Ava screams and tells him to stop it, "I feel like my brain is splitting in two."
"That wouldn't be fair for you to have two and the rest of us none," says Patch.
"I HATE YOU!"
"A minute ago you loved me," he says, "Just take it easy."
"Don't tell me that," screams the nutjob, "The plane crash wasn't my fault. It was your fault. You killed him."
Ava blames Patch for OMB's death because he left her at the altar. Patch doesn't see it that way. Ana tiptoes into the darkside. Patch tells her she has hurt enough people. She threatens to hurt more if she has to. Patch suggests trying to work this out, "Tell me what you really want."
"I want my life back," says Jabba the Nut, "I want to walk down that aisle and see you waiting for me there. I want the life you promised me."
Kayla grills Bo about what Steve is up to and why he tried to get out of bed. "I don't know what Patch is doing," says Bo, "And most of the time, he doesn't either. I got out of bed because I was just trying to get some exercise."
Kayla doesn't buy it. "And where is Hoooooooppp..." PAIN-WRETCH! It seems doctor Johnson is good at dishing out advice but not so good at taking it.
Maggie, Sami, Mickey and his new partner chat. EJ and Mickey introduce themselves to each other.
Sami asks, "Do you always appoint someone a partner before you have even met him?"
"We don't stand on little formalities at the Horton firm," says Mickey.
Mickey asks Sami her opinion of EJ – He wonders if EJ is a typical DiMera. Sami says he's not. Mickey decides EJ will have to earn his partnership and is on probation until he can prove himself. "Until then, you'll be doing a lot of work for little money." Mickey leaves. EJ turns to Maggie and thanks her, and then Maggie follows Mickey.
EJ and Sami discuss their extended-extended family issues.
Hope puts down the scrapbook and looks at the pictures on the desk.
Ava tells Patch he ruined her life and might ruin Hope/Kayla's life as well as their unborn child. She thinks he and Kayla don't have any kids yet. Patch just wants to make sure no one else gets hurt. Ava wonders how. Patch plays along, "I can be that man again if you still want me to be."
Lexie and the nurse rush back into Bo's room to tend to Kayla. Kayla insists she was feeling fine right before she had her big attack.
Hope remembers Ava telling her what happened after Patch left.
Maggie thanks Mickey for giving EJ a chance. Mickey still has problems with him. The folks behind them at the bar drink up. Mickey turns to one of the drunks there and asks, "Hey, stranger, how would you like a partnership at the Horton firm?"
Mickey goes back to EJ and Sami's table. EJ thanks him for the job. Mickey wishes he could help more. Sami says her mom will help with their other problems.
Steve says he will be Patch for Ava. She just has to promise not to hurt anyone else. "Why would I," she says, "now that I've got the man back I love." She asks if he still wants three kids.
"No," says Patch, "I've run out of clothing and crop names."
Lexie takes Kayla to lie down. Bo sits alone and starts to get out of bed again.
EJ doesn't know if Marlena will be happy about helping. They argue about that. Mickey interrupts the Bickersons and says his experience is not in immigration law.
"Just what is your specialty," says EJ.
"Filing appeals for clients whose cases I have bungled," says Mickey. He leaves. Bicker-o-rama ensues. Sami decides she has a plan. They leave.
Outside, Mickey hires two winos as interns.
Patch and Ava walk in. Steve and Hope/Kayla rush each other but Ava separates them, "Not so close. Ava insists she has been treating Hope well. Hope isn't so sure. The wackaroo tells Patch, "I love you but Kayla has turned you into a sniveling little wimp. She broke you and I can fix you." Ava gets upset when she discovers Hope has been going through her stuff.
Bo stands and hyperventilates, "Hang on fancy face, I'm gonna find you."
Previews
========
You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.
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18 Comments:
Great, more contrived nonsense from the Blinking Wonder.
I'm lovin' Ava, she's perfectly nuts.
Thanks for the recap.
Why such nasty actor bashing? He is a wonderful actor. As for the storyline...nothing more unbelievable than demon possessions or total rebuilding of a person whose internal organs were beyond repair...DP
Kayla comes into Bo's room. She says Dr. Jonas has a seminar today, so that makes Bo her patient.
Excuse me, but wasn’t it just a couple of episodes ago that the doctor making a house call told Kayla she was restricted to walking from the living room couch, to the bedroom, and to the bathroom? I realize that the short term memory is the first to go but this is ridiculous.
"Why are you on his side," says Sami.
"I am on Johnny's side," says Maggie, By the way, where are the twins? "
"Ciara is watching them," says Sami. She tells her she misses Lucas.
"I think they have inoculations for things like that," says Maggie.. Mickey comes up and Sami questions his hiring EJ. She doesn't think EJ is even licensed.
"We don't stand on little formalities like that at the Horton firm," says Mickey.
I just had to copy the whole thing. Way too much good stuff to go unnoted!!!!
Outside, Mickey hires two winos as interns.
Prevuze, was Chelsea one of them?
Shout out to Bulldog, that captioned photo was hysterical!!!
Well, it is opening day at the Friendly Confines seems but it seems to be in jeopardy. Right now the fog is rolling in off the lake, and it’s drizzling. Hopefully things will brighten up. Now that Sam Zell owns the Tribune and the Cubs, he is looking to add more money to his considerable stash by selling the naming rights to Wrigley. It goes without saying that the fans are not happy about this, I include myself in that group. However, if the name were to be Wrigley/Prevuze Field, I wouldn’t be too upset. How about it Prevuze?!!!
Prevuze - great job today! I agree with what Leslie said, but want to add that I also loved "Jabba the Nut"!
However, if the name were to be Wrigley/Prevuze Field, I wouldn’t be too upset. How about it Prevuze?!!!
I'd have to chew on it.
' By the way, where are the twins? "
"Ciara is watching them," says Sami. '
OMG, I almost sprained my vocal chords trying to stifle my laugh over that one!!!
And hey, I had one year of law school -- do you think I could get a partnership at Mickey's firm, or am I over-qualified?
Also meant to ask -- how does Kevin Dobson "fit in" as Mickey? I always thought it was a mistake to hire John Ingle as Mickey -- he's a good actor, but was just wayyyyyy to old to be believable as Mickey, at least compared to Maggie and his other paramour at the time, Bonnie.
how does Kevin Dobson "fit in" as Mickey?
I thought KD seemed a little stiff. He'll probably be fine, but today they didn't give him too much material, except for the incredible challenge of having to play an attorney who would be dumb enough to hire someone as a partner without ever having seen him before.
OK, Bo has now caught up and tied with Kayla for being the stupidest Brady in town (the position was vacant once Jr. set sail). The number counts for him getting out of bed and collapsing are the same as Kayla doubling over in pain.
My favorite Prevuism - "Mickey turns to one of the drunks there and asks, "Hey, stranger, how would you like a partnership at the Horton firm?" HAHAHAHHA
Do INS agents really spend this much time with a couple? I'd think a short interview would suffice, not meeting them for dinner, etc.
Great Prevuze today. And all of the pictures were a hoot but I LOL over Alias' aqua being the new black. Thanks everyone for the Monday morning laughs!
Bulldog said,
"OK, Bo has now caught up and tied with Kayla for being the stupidest Brady in town (the position was vacant once Jr. set sail)."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Good one, BD!
Boy, EVERYBODY's in rare form today!!
Do INS agents really spend this much time with a couple? I'd think a short interview would suffice, not meeting them for dinner, etc.
Oh, I'm sure. They take you to dinner at the fanciest restaurant in town and just spend hours with you. I'm sure the INS agent is picking up the tab for dinner, too.
"Great, more contrived nonsense from the Blinking Wonder."
Bitter much?
I like CrAva, too, and hope she sticks around.
Well I for one am TICKLED PINK to see that Ejami is back with a vengeance!
I can actually start watching the show again. Not without zapping of course, but watching all the same.
And now for some Monday morning spoilers to get your week off to a good start:
Monday, April 7th
Steve receives a call from the real Kayla, but breaks the phone before Ava can see who is calling; Morgan tells Tony about her parents' divorce; Anna watches the tape from Morgan's camera and sees Tony inviting Kate to dinner.
Tuesday, April 8th
Steve and Hope manage to escape, but get caught by one of Ava's cousins; Kayla is determined to find Steve; Kayla and Bo argue about about who is going after Hope and Steve.
Wednesday, April 9th
Daniel asks Nick to keep an eye on Chelsea; EJ and Sami have dinner at Chez Rouge, where Sami confesses that she misses Lucas; John convinces Marlena to put him under hypnosis to see if he can remember his past.
Thursday, April 10th
EJ takes Nicole's case, despite Sami's protests; Philip thinks Nicole ratted out Chloe; Stephanie talks to Caroline, who convinces Max to cut back his hours; Marlena tells John she doesn't approve of his lifestyle.
Friday, April 11th
Ava plans a romantic dinner and slideshow for Steve, who pretends to be moved; Stephanie worries about her mom and dad; Victor tells Bo that Ava's family is very dangerous; Anna tries to make Tony jealous by hitting on John.
I'm working on a very special blog for tomorrow, so for today, if you haven't already, read my 3 part "homage" to Bill and Ted. And be ready for a treat tomorrow.
These Are The Daze Of Our Lives
I hear that Chelsea is going to ask Daniel out and he accepts. How many ways is this wrong? Does anyone like the Chelsea character? I'm glad Sami and EJ are back, I used to hate her but now I like them and EJ's little comments. I know a lot of people have a hate on for him but it's a soap so anything that happened a year ago never really happened. Looking forward to Nicole's return.
~Lisa
Loved today's Prevuze and all of the pictures and comments.
Bo sits alone and starts to get out of bed again.
For pete's sake! Wish they would just let him lay on the floor for a couple of hours. Maybe he'd bleed out and we'd be spared anymore of this clap-trap. (Loved Bulldog's observation!)
I'm totally swamped today, so have no time to come up with anything witty. Just a total THANKS for giving me a few minutes respite, Prevuze.
Deb said:
Tuesday, April 8th
Steve and Hope manage to escape, but get caught by one of Ava's cousins; Kayla is determined to find Steve; Kayla and Bo argue about about who is going after Hope and Steve.
Bulldog said:
OK, Bo has now caught up and tied with Kayla for being the stupidest Brady in town (the position was vacant once Jr. set sail). The number counts for him getting out of bed and collapsing are the same as Kayla doubling over in pain.
Now the Stupids are going to find Patch and Hope? One can't get out of bed without collapsing and the other can't walk five feet without doubling over in pain.
I know logic has no place in DOOL, but don't you have to pass the bar in each state? EJ makes it sound as though he is certified in every state. Also, wouldn't you have to be a citizen to pass the bar in that state?
I may have missed this, but did we ever find out why someone born in the US is not a citizen?
I may have missed this, but did we ever find out why someone born in the US is not a citizen?
Nope. And you can refer to the first part of your own first statement as an explanation. These dillweeds* haven't got a clue.
*dillweed - I know. I'm a total pawn of Madison Avenue. Been hearing this on some cell phone commercial and it just struck me as funny.
KOTU
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