She Blows Up Like A Puffer Fish

EJ barges into Sami's apartment, "Honey, I'm home!" He picks her up and twirls her around the room. Sami squeals and tells him to put her down. EJ sets her down and clears his throat, "I guess that might have been a little inappropriate."

"Could you please knock for once," asks Sami. EJ says he shouldn't have to knock when he's coming into his apartment. They argue about whose apartment it is. "It's our apartment," booms EJ.

"What are you talking about," asks Sami.

"My marvelous news."

Chelsea is with her private nurse as Nick comes in. He has marvelous news, too. Maybe they both heard DOOL has been canceled. Nick says he'll share it when Max and Stephanie arrive.

As she leaves, the nurse cautions Nick, "Don't get her too excited." Chelsea wiggles her eyebrows up and down.

Ava is excited about getting back with Patch. Hope/Kayla is excited because this thing will be over. Ava says, "I know you think he's gonna want to stay with you, don't you?"

Hope/Kayla says, "And if he does?"

Ava says, "Well that won't be good for any of us."

They continue bickering until Hope/Kayla brings up the fact that Ava sabotaged the plane, "Three people died in that crash! Well, actually there were two deaths and one needless suicide."

Ava insists she didn't kill anyone. She tosses her cousins under the bus for that one. She insists the plane was never supposed to get off the ground. As they deplaned Patch would have snuck away and come to her and talked about the old days, "He would have remembered he loved me. And then... happily ever after."

Hope reminds her Patch got off the plane. Ava says it wasn't like it was supposed to be so she ran. She's sorry about the deaths. Hope/Kayla snaps, "Sorry doesn't bring them back!" Ava asks about Hope/Kayla's father. Hope/Kayla tells her he gave up his life for his son, "He didn't die in the crash. He died at 30,000 feet."

Nick wonders where Max and Stephanie are. He'll tell all when they get there. Morgan arrives. Chelsea says, "Nick has some big exciting news to share."

Morgan gasps, "What is it?"

Nick says, "I don't want to say until Max and Stephanie get here. It'll save time if I can bore the whole bunch of you at the same time." Morgan asks if she can stay for the big whoop. Finally Max and Stephanie arrive.

EJ agrees, "OK – no more swinging you around like a rag doll." He tells her he's just come back from the INS, and they actually showed a little compassion, "All we need to do is show them that we are married in more than just name only." Sami cocks her head and gives him a look.

Hope fills Ava in on the flight of death, "OMB died like he lived – sucking, because he gave his mask to Bo."

So, Nick drops the big news. He got both renewable energy grants he applied for. Morgan takes the opportunity to crawl all over Nick as Chelsea wretches. Max broods. Stephanie asks whets wrong. Max insists he's excited and congratulates Nick. He decides he has to run. Stephanie grabs him on the way out. Max says he's happy for Nick and leaves.

Sami insists the vows they took didn't have anything to do with love, "So what do I have to do?"

EJ smiles, "What I want you to do is what you do better than anyone else. It's something you did well at our wedding ceremony and you do it on a daily basis. I want you to lie through your teeth."

Hope/Kayla continues the saga of the plane of doom. Ava sniffles but denies she's crying. She says nothing like that was supposed to happen, "What was your father's last name?"

"Brady."

What was his first name?"

"OM."

Ava knocks and tells Angelo she has to leave. Angelo protests but finally caves in. Ava tells him to watch Hope/Kayla. As she walks out, she says, "Shawn Brady."

Max carries beer to OMB's grave. He pours OMB a glass and has one himself. He tells OMB Nick got his grant. "Nick makes mistakes from time to time," says Max, "He needed a little guidance." Max says he knows he'll never go back to school. Right now he's cool with running the pub and taking care of Caroline. But he wants to find something else so he can take care of Stephanie.

"She's your niece," says OMB, "People will talk."

EJ holds the totally SORASed little Johnny. Sami thinks she has done enough lying for EJ, "I want to hear you beg."

EJ plays his trump card, "Do it for Johnny."

Sami agrees, "What's the plan?"

"Pretty simple," says EJ, "You have to love me."

Sami huffs, "We have to be realistic." Meanwhile, Johnny leafs through brochures trying to decide which college to attend next year.

Nick rambles about the grants. Chelsea wonders where Max is. "He had to go," says Stephanie.

"He's been away a while," says Chelsea, "He could have just used the bathroom next door."

Ava walks up to OMB's grave. Max wonders who she is. "I'm nobody," says Ava, "Were you related to him?"

"He was my father," says Max.

"He was Kayla's father, too," says Ava, "So it would be totally inappropriate for you to date her daughter, wouldn't it?"

"Did you know him," asks Max.

"No," says Ava, "A friend told me about him."

"He was the best man I've ever known," says Max, "Not the smartest, though."

Ava puts flowers on OMB's grave. She asks Max to tell her a little about him. "He was from Ireland," says Max, "He had a pub in Salem and in recent years gained a bit of fame as the poster boy for Alzheimer's." Max goes on and on. Ava thinks OMB sounds wonderful.

Max starts to leave. As he turns, OMB asks, "Hey, Max, could I have a refill on that beer?"

Ava whimpers, stoops and apologizes to OMB.

EJ and Sami arrive at Chez Rouge. They tell Maggie they are there to meet the INS guy.

Maggie senses a juicy story brewing, "Are you having visa problems."

"Yes," says EJ, "We've gone over our limit."

Maggie shows them to the table. Sami and EJ start bickering to prove they are married.

Hope wanders around the room looking for a way out. She picks up a small bust and uses it as a hammer on the window lock. If anyone knows how to make the best use of a small bust, it's Hope.

Nick rambles about the grant. The girls are so drowsy you'd think they were watching a DOOL marathon. Max comes back and picks up right where Nick has left off rambling on and on about the virtues and oh-so-complex molecular structure of hydrogen, "It only has one electron, but it's kind of hard to keep track of. There is a lot of hydrogen in ice. I saw that on TV once."

"If ice has a lot of hydrogen," asks Morgan, "What about water?"

"It evaporates when the ice melts," says Max the genius.

"But I thought water was H2O," says Morgan

"See," says Max, "That proves it. Water has H's, but no hydrogen." Nick takes over and continues his diatribe.

Morgan goes up to Max and lectures him for nearly ruining Nick's project. Max insists Nick is his friend, "The machine wouldn't have worked anyway... uh, I just needed a piece of paper for a phone number."

"Just be happy I told only Nick," snorts Morgan. Stephanie drags Max away.

Ava sits in the back of her limo talking to Daddy on the phone. Daddy agrees to do something for her. Ava hangs up and remembers her silk sheet romp with Patch.

Hope pounds and the window comes open. The alarm goes off as Hope considers the long drop.

EJ and Sami continue to bicker as the INS guy takes notes. Sami decides EJ's fish is too dry and overdone, so she calls the waiter over and tells him to take it back and bring him another, "EJ likes his fish rare. Except for sushi, which he likes really well done."

Sami puts about a half ton of salt on her food. EJ tells her to cool it and turns to the INS agent, "Samantha has to watch how much salt she uses. She blows up like a puffer fish.

Burke asks about their daily routine. EJ fields that one, "We spend a lot of time taking care of the kids and then, of course, there's the incessant love making."

"When he's able to perform," says Sami.

EJ chuckles, "Very funny."

Burke asks about the fact they have separate apartments. They insist they live together, but EJ just has his stuff in his other apartment. "EJ doesn't like change," says Sami, "So he watches DOOL." He tells Mr. Burke he's looking for a job. "The bills are piling up," says Sami, "So we have to cut into our lovemaking so EJ can find some time to look for work."

Maggie comes to the table and announces EJ has a phone call. He excuses himself and smooches Sami as he leaves. One kiss leads to another until Sami cuts things off.

Once he walks away, Maggie tells him there isn't a call, "It looks like things aren't going well." The town busybody has a plan to come to the rescue.

Burke asks if Sami loves her husband. Sami gulps.

Nutty Ava obsesses, "I'll give that SOB one minute and then things will get ugly."

As the alarm blares, Angelo rushes in and grabs Hope/Kayla, "Someone's being a very naughty little girl." He tells her to just sit back and relax as he moves a little closer. Hope/Kayla whaps him away.

The following is a Prevuze public service announcement. Beginning on February 17, 2009, the Federal Communications Commission has mandated a switch to a new format of television broadcasting. Beginning on that date, your over-the-air television set will become useless. From that point forward, it will only receive Days Of Our Lives.

Previews
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You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.