The Dude Had No Pants!

Jeremy tries to give Patch the bum's rush. Patch wants answers. Stephanie comes out, "DAD! It's OK! He's a friend." He certainly looked like he was being pretty friendly to Patch.

The friend sticks out his hand, "Jeremy Horton, nice to meet you."

Belle looks over a bulletin board with baby pageant pictures tacked to it. The pageant is over. They got there late because they were delayed after landing at O'Hare. Belle isn't leaving until they find Claire.

Nick busts in on Jett and Chelsea and threatens Jett. He tackles him and they roll around on the floor. Nick punches.

Hope, Julie and Doug come into Doug's place and look around. Doug and Julie reminisce. Bo arrives. Doug finds the piano. He sings, "I love you as I've never loved before." The guys give him a round of applause.

Bo tells Hope about the coroner's inquisition ruling and Willow's baby. Hope is sooooo relieved. Then Bo tells her about the Chicago trip, Shawn paying for the burial and Bo loaning him the money. Doug tinkers on the piano, so at least there is a little entertainment interspaced with the drivel.

Bo announces there has been another attempt on Sami's life. Open jaws all around.

Bo gives details and tells them Sami is fine. Hope thinks Colleen is at the center of the vendetta. Doug tells them the cellar has been bricked over. Bo swears, "I'll get in if it takes a pickaxe. It's too bad Shawn isn't here. We could just have him drive through the wall." Hope suggests the dumbwaiter.

"He quit years ago and left town," says Doug.

Bo goes out to get his tools. Hope goes to look. Julie tells Doug there are a lot of memories in the tunnel. Doug says they will face them together.

Gee, Stephanie didn't expect Patch back so soon. Adrienne comes in and introduces herself. Kayla is at a medical conference. Patch tells Jeremy to get dressed so they can go out and have a little talk.

Nick pounds Jett. Jett gets the upper hand, wads Nick up into a ball, chews him up and spits him out.

"What's gotten into you," asks Chelsea.

"A lot of beer," says Nick, "And it's about to come out of me." He bolts off to talk to the throne.

Jett apologizes. Chelsea says Nick is the one who should apologize, "He's really out of control for some reason."

Jett says, "Two things make a guy like that crazy – alcohol... and love. Your boy's got it bad and I don't blame him."

Phillip and Belle can't see Claire in any of the pictures. Belle falls apart. She just has to find Claire. Phillip suggests calling Shawn and telling him not to come.

A woman walks in. She says her name is Doris Koppler. She is with the pageant. They tell Doris they are looking for a kidnapped child. Belle shows her a picture. Doris says she has seen her.

Stephanie says Patch doesn't get to order her friends around.

Jeremy is helpful, "Sweet Cheeks I can handle Papa."

Patch nukes, "WHAT DID YOU CALL HER?" Adrienne steps in and referees.

Patch says, "Let's go, Jason."

"His name is Jeremy," whines Stephanie.

Jeremy agrees, "All right Pops, well have a man-to-man." Patch would rather have a man-to-crumpled up piece of garbage.

Stephanie wonders why they didn't call. Patch says they didn't expect her to be there. She says she decided to move back in. Stephanie asks if Patch is cured.

Yes, folks, we've had the miraculous cure. He tells her Kayla wouldn't have left town if he weren't. He lectures. Stephanie tells him she makes her own decisions, "I'm having sex and plenty of it!"

Doris can't quite place where she saw Claire. She gives them a list of pageants and goes to download Claire's picture. Belle tells Phillip whoever has Claire wouldn't have entered her in her own name.

Jett swears he is in love with his fiancée. Chelsea has heard that one before. She says ordinarily Nick is a lot cooler than this. Jett wonders if Chelsea is trying to convince him of that or herself.

She whispers, "Myself." After a moment she says, "Pretend I didn't say that. I love him but I don't trust him. I thought I was over this."

"Sleeping with your mom is a lot to get over."

Chelsea says, "Lately he's been wanting to step up our relationship. I thought I wanted it, but I keep coming up with excuses. It means a commitment and I'm not sure I want that."

Nick yells from the next room, "I'M DYING!"

"Just don't make a mess of it," yells Chelsea. She goes to check on him.

Bo has to run the stud finder over the walls until he finds the dumbwaiter. Julie brings up the old days. Bo flashes back the time Doug came to Bo's apartment and caught him and Hope in bed. That's what fathers do in Salem.

Bo pops back to ahem, reality. Julie remembers how things used to be there. She runs through a litany of people that used to come. Flashback scenes galore.

Julie had forgotten how much she loves this place. She suggests buying it. Doug wonders what they would do every time Julie wants to run off to Italy.

Bo yells, "Hey, you guys, come over here. I think I found what we're looking for."

Stephanie says, "Growing up with mom was like growing up in a nunnery."

Patch asks, "Would you rather have grown up in a whorehouse?" Stephanie says it's her business, not his. Patch says it's his business when she is in his home.

"You wouldn't even shake Jeremy's hand," says Stephanie.

"The dude had no pants," yells Patch.

Jeremy comes out dressed, "You're not gonna take a punch at me are you? I'm all about peace and love. Especially love. He smooches Stephanie.

Patch doesn't feel the love. He says they are just gonna have a little conversation.

"You're just messing with me," says Jeremy.

Patch tells him, "When I mess with you, you'll know it." He tells Stephanie to get dressed as he and Jeremy leave.

Adrienne asks Stephanie if she is OK. "I'm not a slut, if that's what you're thinking," says Stephanie. Adrienne tells her it's been difficult for her parents, especially her dad.

"It's always about my dad," screams Stephanie, "I'm not even on their radar." Adrienne advises her to act like an adult if she wants to be treated like one. Stephanie makes a note to look up that strange new word, adult, in the dictionary.

Patch 'splains things to Jeremy, "Do you care about her or are you just having fun?" Jeremy tells him not to stress. Patch asks if Stephanie is his girlfriend.

Jeremy tells him they aren't into labels, "What are you looking for, a diamond ring? I don't know how things are going with her and that's how I like it."

Chelsea comes out and tells Jett Nick and the porcelain goddess are having a heart-to-heart. Jett suggests letting Nick recover before talking to him.

"He thinks I've forgiven him for sleeping with my mother and I haven't," says Chelsea.

Nick comes out and apologizes to Jett. Jett leaves. Nick gets sick and runs out again.

Belle looks at the baby pictures. She thinks Doris is taking a long time. She just knew Claire would be there, but they didn't find her. Phillip gives her a pep talk. He vows they will find Claire. Belle believes they will, "I don't know what I would have done without you... or... what'shisname." She hugs him, "I miss this."

That's Shawn's cue, "So, any luck on finding Claire, or are you guys too busy to look?"
Belle rushes over and hugs him. She brings him up to date on the contest being over and Doris. Shawn thinks Phillip and tells him now he can head back to Salem.

Patch wants Jeremy to respect Stephanie. Jeremy says, "At least you remembered my name this time."

Patch wanted to make sure he had the right name for the inscription on his tombstone. He asks, "Does your interest in her go beyond the bedroom?"

"I like her and she likes me. I'm not out to hurt her."

"Well, if you do," says Patch, "You're gonna answer to me. Do you understand that?"

"It wouldn't be a fair fight," says Jeremy, "Of course, I could wear and eye patch and it would be more fair."

Patch gets serious, "Son, I'll take you one eye, one arm, any time, anywhere."

Jeremy chuckles, "Dude, I was joking." He saunters off.

Stephanie claims Adrienne doesn't know her. She says she acted the way she did because she was embarrassed. She loves this guy.

Adrienne asks, "Does he love you?

"We don't use those words exactly," says Stephanie, "But I feel it. Me and Jeremy are cool."

Patch walks in and listens. Adrienne asks, "What about your dad?"

"I grew up just fine without him so he has no right to judge me," says Stephanie.

Nick sleeps it off. Chelsea gives him a spoonful of medicine. He just wants to sleep. He claims Jett was all over her. She tells him Jett is her boss. "Is that one of the perks," asks Nick.

Chelsea tells him he can trust her. Jett has a girlfriend. He's her friend and boss. Nick wonders if Jett is the reason she doesn’t want to sleep with him.

Belle tells Shawn she didn't use this as a cover to get away with Phillip. She reminds the boys of their pact. Phillip tells him to get over the jealousy.

"I have nothing to be jealous about," says Shawn.

"I know that, but you don't seem to," says Phillip.

Shawn tells Phillip life is a little different when it isn't served on a sliver spoon. Phillip has had all the advantages in life. Phillip tells Shawn not to play that card, "You've had a good life with advantages, too. You've got a good family and parents who love you. You have practically everything, and as soon as we find the Wizard, you'll have that brain you've always wanted, too."

Doris runs up and tells them she remembered something – Claire was there.

Bo inspects the shaft. The dumbwaiter is gone. They discuss how to get down. Julie thinks it's awfully narrow. "Not for me," says Hope. She volunteers to be the canary in the mine. Bo argues. He wonders if the DiMeras rigged something down there. Hope reminds him she kicked his butt in the police academy and insists she is going down there. Doug suggests they both go, "With any luck, neither of you will come back." Bo decides he will go first. Hope argues. A strange sound from below interrupts their inane bickering. They all rush to look down the shaft.

Stephanie comes out with her suitcase. Patch tells her she doesn't have to go. She says coming back there to live was a huge mistake. He says it would mean a lot to Kayla if she stayed. "What about you, Dad?"

"I wasn't there for you," says Patch, "I know that. I'm sorry for that."

"It wasn't your fault," says Stephanie, "Isn't that what I'm supposed to say?"

"Say whatever you feel," says Patch, "Where will you go? With Jeremy? He's bad news."

They argue about Jeremy until Stephanie blows her top, "It doesn't matter what you think. He's who I want to sleep with. If you don't like it, that's too damn bad!"

With the news that Claire was at the pageant, one of Belle's manic personalities comes out to play. Doris says Claire was wearing a fireman's hat and answered to the name, Jeffrey Gray. He was dressed as a boy. She goes over to the bulletin board and pulls off a picture, "Is that your daughter?"

Belle wails, "It's my baby!"

Chelsea says Jett isn't the reason she isn't sleeping with Nick. She wants him to stop acting like he is five. There is something wrong between them. She tells him to sleep it off on the couch. He agrees, but insists they will talk later. She covers him and smooches him.

Julie thinks maybe the sound they heard was the wind.

"Don't blame me," says Doug, "I would excuse myself if that happened."

Bo yells into the shaft, "Anybody down there?"

"Shouldn't we call the police," says Julie.

"I am the police," says Bo.

Julie says, "No, this is serious. I meant shouldn't we call a real cop."

Hope and Bo argue more. Coughing and the sounds of Mordor stop their spat. "It sounds like someone down there," says Hope. She and Bo stare into the abyss. FF.


Previews
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Stephanie says, "Chelsea and I are going to be flight attendants." Patch says, "You're not taking that job. Not while I'm still breathing."

Belle yells at Shawn and Phillip, "This competition has got to end. So I don't care how you do it, you figure it out, dammit and do it now." Belle huffs off.

Hope asks, "Where is my husband?" Doug reaches down to the mysterious masked man and says, "Let's take off the mask." The hooded man flails around, gets up and chokes Hope. Hope screams.