Cranial Cowboys

Phillip is on the phone telling one of his partners in crime he's paying g him good money and he wants results. Willow comes in. Phillip thinks it's the maid. He tells his compadre to call him later. When he finds out it's Willow who came in he tells her to get out. Willow says, "I coulda told you where Shawn and Belle are."

Sami and Lucas are living dangerously. Sami cooked breakfast. As they eat, Lucas rambles on about Will's team making the tournament. Sami is distant. She's excited for Will but her heart isn't in it. Lucas wants to talk. Sami says she can't stop thinking about the TV shoot. It made her look bad. Lucas says she lifted the beam when it counted. She's pregnant – She shouldn't be doing that kind of thing in the first place. She saved his life and he's grateful, the viewers, however, have mixed emotions about that. Sami thinks he is the only one who will feel that way when the show airs. Lucas says, "You and I both know the truth. That's what matters."

EJ tells the cop what happened in the restaurant with Patch. Kate comes in. She admires his black eye. Kate didn't realize Steve got the best of him.

"You haven't seen Steve, have you," says EJ. He tells Kate Steve has completely lost it and is in jail. He is flattered Kate came down to support him. Kate says she is there to see Roman on a private matter, "Which will remain private."

EJ gets closer. He says he didn't know they had any secrets.

"We haven't shared everything," says Kate, "And now that I know you can't be trusted..."

"Well, we're business partners aren't we," asks EJ.

"Don't push it," says Kate, "That would be a big mistake."

Patch tells Kayla he just lost it in the restaurant. Kayla tells him this time he didn't get away with it. She begs him to get help. Patch promises to talk to Marlena as soon as he gets out. Kayla wants more than that. She wants him to check into the psych ward.

"No way will I turn myself into a bunch of cranial cowboys," says Patch. Kayla tells him to either get some help or rot in jail, "Take your pick."

Phillip wonders why he should take Willow's word. "Because you can't afford not to, solder." She tells him she spent the night in a safe house. She played on Merle's sympathy and got the truth out of him. It's all Phillips's for a price. He wants to know what happened to the ten grand she got from Victor. She says not that it's any of his business, but she paid for her brother's semester at school. She even whips out a wire transfer receipt to show him.

Phillip is touched. She tells him she is sorry for trying to rip him off, "It won't happen again." Phillip tells her he can find Shawn and Belle on his own. Willow decides this would be a good time to be sick. She bolts into the bathroom. Phillip scowls.

“Belle, All I have done here is dream about the next time I would see you. I miss you honey. I miss my whole family. They tell me this is my last goodbye. But I don't believe it. I love you and I'm coming home to you. No one could love you as much as I do. If I don't make it home, you stay strong. I'll love you forever. Just from a better place. Semper Fi, sweetheart.” - Phillip Kiriakis, POW, March 31, 2005

Lucas suggests a trip to the bedroom to create some magic. Sami doesn't think it's a good idea. She doesn't want him to be late for his first day of work with EJ.

"EJ can wait," says Lucas, "I can't." Kiss. Nothing. "But obviously you can," says Lucas. Casanova thinks she is upset over the TV shoot. Sharp as a tack, ain't he... since she has been telling him that all along.

Sami knows what will help. She grabs the phone. She's going to call Harry the producer and ask him to edit out the part of the show when she was struggling. She asks the operator for the number of Extreme TV.

"We don't have a number for Extreme TV," says the operator, "Did you mean Inane TV? That number would be 1-800-DOOL."

Kate walks into Roman's office dragging none other than renowned MIT professor Walter Brower with her. She introduces him to Roman and says she has something interesting to tell him. She hands Roman a DVD. He asks what it is. She tells him just to play it, and he will find out. Roman pulls "Debbie Does Dallas" out of his player and pops in the one Kate brought. We watch Sami struggle with the beam. Professor Walter gives the play-by play. He says she never could have lifted the beam, even with a surge of adrenalin. Kate does the color commentary, "I find that interesting. Don't you, Roman?"

Patch says if leaving jail means he has to commit himself he won't. He jokes about the situation, but Kayla isn't buying his devil-may-care attitude any more, "These episodes are getting worse. And so are the ones in your head. You are out of control. What if the next time you take your wrath out on me?" He swears he would never hurt her. She doesn't buy it. She wants him to think about his family.

Benjy walks in. He signs and tells them he knows what happened at Chez Rouge. He read it in the paper. He came to see if Steve is all right.

Kayla tells him to talk some sense into Patch. Patch asks for a few minutes alone with him.

Benjy says he is worried. So is Patch. Patch tells him what's going on in his head. Sounds. Lights. Flashes. Memories of torture. He thinks this all started with his little Benjy-monkey.

Sami gets off the phone. She slams things around as Lucas comes out. Sami tells him the cable company has never heard of producer Harry. Extreme TV was canceled last season, "Lucas, it was a scam! I was set up again by your mother!"

Walter's lecture on the physics of fulcrums is as overdone as a Super Bowl halftime show on steroids. He concludes, "Sami couldn't have lifted the beam. The very idea boggles the mind." Roman's mind is boggled, all right.

Kate thanks Walter and he leaves. Roman chuckles, "Oh, Katie, oh, Katie. What the hell are you up to now?"

Benjy claims he doesn't know what Patch is taking about. Patch asks him about the night they had dinner. He put something in Patch's hand and kissed him. "You don't remember that," says Patch, "What was that?"

Benjy claims he doesn't know. Patch tells him not to lie. He can see Benjy is scared. Someone put him up to this. Patch wants to know who it was, "Give me answers or I could lose Kayla. If either one of us ever meant anything to you, then tell me what you know."

Lucas wonders why Kate would have concocted the TV show scheme. He can't believe Kate did it. Sami says she is up to her old tricks.

Kate tells Roman she is just writing a wrong. She insists Sami didn't lift the beam. She tells him about being able to lift the lighter beam even though Sami couldn't. Roman wants to know where the DVD came from. Kate tells him about the show. Roman says, "Kate, I always know you are lying because if your lips are moving, you are lying."

"I always hated that," says Kate, "No wonder our marriage didn't work. OK, there was no producer or show. I hired those guys to expose Sami."

Roman wonders how much it cost her. Kate says it doesn't make any difference. It's worth it if the truth comes out, "Sami accepting the award constitutes fraud. She has made a fool of everyone. She shouldn't be allowed to get away with it."

Benjy tells Patch he didn't know what the card was for. Stefano gave him the order. Patch says he wishes Benjy would have come to him. He would have made sure Benjy was safe. Benjy says no one is safe from Stefano. Patch should know that by now.

Roman tells Kate nothing has changed. She still hates Sami. Kate says that's because Sami hasn't changed. She says everyone knows EJ was in the vicinity of the cabin that night and knows something was going on with Sami and EJ. Kate thinks EJ helped Sami save Lucas in exchange for Sami helping him get through the roadblock, "And that constitutes aiding and abetting a felon. Bring her down here and question her." Since EJ has been cleared, does that make Sami's crime aiding and abetting an innocent person?

Roman says he has already talked to Sami about EJ. Kate thinks he doesn't want to believe his daughter is lying, "And if this is all she is hiding it would be a big surprise, Grandpa."

EJ makes a call... Lucas answers. He tells Lucas to come to the cop shop. He also asks Lucas to call Sumner Matheson, his attorney, and have him meet them there.

Lucas hangs up and tells Sami he has to go to the police station. He tells her not to worry about Kate and leaves. Sami stares.

Benjy says he was threatened. Benjy was hoping the card was just supposed to scare Steve. Steve wants to know where this is leading. Benjy has no idea. Patch threatens to tear him apart if he doesn't come up with some answers. Kayla rushes up and stops him.

Willow tells Phillip she's pregnant. That's why she needs the money. "Why don't you just go to the john who knocked you up for money," asks Phillip, "Besides, how do I know this isn't just another one of your scams?"

Willow says, "It wasn't a trick. It's Shawn's. He's my baby's father."

Phillip can't believe what a hypocrite Shawn is. Willow says she hasn't told him yet. She told Hope, though, but Hope blew her off. Willow is alone without a job or insurance. She doesn't know what to do.

"Spare me the crocodile tears," says Phillip.

"You are one cold SOB," says Willow. She starts to leave.

Phillip stops her, "Wait. You could be of some use after all."

Patch says he didn't mean that. Benjy says he's sorry. He says he loves them both, and leaves.

Kayla asks Patch why Benjy said he was sorry.

Patch says he admitted Stefano sent him, "Benjy did this, Kayla. He betrayed us."

EJ wants two copies of his statement – one for himself and one for his attorney. Benjy walks in. EJ demands the copies right now, as a way of getting the cop out of the room. When the officer leaves, EJ asks if Benjy talked to Steve. Benjy says no. EJ says he can't believe that, "If you know anything, you should tell me right now." Benjy says he told Patch about the card – that he was ordered to give it to him.

EJ hopes he isn't lying, "If you betray the family, it will be the last thing you ever do." He taps Benjy's cheek.

Phillip says he will take care of Willow if she does what Phillip says when the baby comes, "Quid pro quo. Shawn has my baby and I will have Shawn's."

"That would be a medical miracle," says Willow, "But you've got a deal."

"The first thing I will do when we get to Salem is get you to a hospital and make sure you are pregnant. Then we'll have an amnio done and make sure Shawn is the father. If you cross me, I will throw you out on the street, just like the common whore you are."

Willow snaps, "Call me that again and the deal is off. The professional term is hooker. I will not be treated like garbage."

"Fine," snorts Phillip.

"Apologize," says Willow, "or you will never see you daughter again."

"I'm sorry," he growls, "Now, tell me what you know about Shawn and Belle."

EJ tells his attorney he not only wants criminal charges brought against Patch for assault, but he also wants a civil suit, as well as one against Kayla for negligence.

Lucas chimes in. He thinks suing Kayla would be stretching it. EJ tells him Kayla is a doctor and should have seen this coming. He also tells him if he wants to continue at Mythic he will not question him.

Kayla thinks Benjy is a victim of Stefano just like they are. Patch needs to get help. Patch asks, "What are you trying to do to me, Kayla?"

Willow says according to Merle Shawn and Belle got fake ID's and are on a cruise ship. She doesn't know where to. Phillip swears to track them down. Willow thinks by the time they find them, she may be showing. Phillip says in that case he will send Shawn a picture of the pregnant mother of his child.

"There is only one person I want to see suffer for the hell I've gone through. And that's you, Belle." - Phillip Kiriakis, NUT, March 31, 2005

Sami gets a call. Roman. He asks her to come to the station and talk. He just has a few more questions about that night. Sami tells him Kate is just trying to stir up trouble. "And I'm just trying to prevent it," says Roman, "So get down here now."

A dead horse lies outside Steve's jail cell. Kayla beats it mercilessly. He needs psychiatric help. She will do whatever it takes to help him get through this. Patch agrees to commit himself after the arraignment.

EJ tells the attorney they will have a strong case after he talks to the witnesses at Chez Rouge, "I've been far too forgiving. From now on, anybody who crosses me is going to get exactly what they deserve." Flip to Lucas. Flip back to EJ. FF.

Previews
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Marlena sits at John's bedside. John vegetates. His voice says, "I gotta tell you what EJ said the night of the shooting."

EJ asks, "Do I hear the sound of a damsel in distress?" Billie turns and drops her jaw.

Kayla says to Patch, "That is what you are afraid of, isn't it? That you might hurt me."

Sami bawls, "If you wanna know my secrets Kate, I'll find out yours." She goes through a filing cabinet.

Marlena says, "I don't care about the arrangements. My husband is staying right here. And that's my final word."