It's Showtime!

Roman tells Marlena she looks great. She returns the complement. Roman is glad the wedding is finally getting started. Marlena tells him she feels like Sami isn't marrying the right man, and Austin isn't marrying the right woman. They figure they shouldn't second-guess the bride and groom. "You really do look beautiful," says Roman.

John walks up behind them, "And I was about to say the same thing."

Caroline rants about alcohol poisoning, "These people who own pubs and allow that kind of thing to happen should be shot." She's glad Hope decided to come to the wedding. Hope tells her not to read too much into it. Caroline and OMB go off to help Sami.

Belle wonders why the brat asked why Phillip and her were still together. The little snot backpedals and says she wondered what Belle and Phillip are doing at the church instead of helping with Shawn at the loft. Phillip assures her Shawn is in good hands.

The brat asks if everything went OK at the hospital. Phillip wonders what she means and tells her there was a little snag with the paperwork. After they leave Billie asks the brat what that was all about. She says Shawn is her brother and she was asking because she cares for him. Billie rolls her eyes as the brat walks off.

Tek runs into Lexie at the hospital. She asks if he is stalking her. Tek tells her he is there on police business. Tek starts to kiss her but Lexie pulls away like a scared rabbit. Tek tells her Abe is as responsible for her predicament as she is. Lexie says she is talking about more than their hot little affair, "There are a lot of other things going on here, too."

Tek asks, "What do you mean?"

Lexie says, "I mean that we all could be in for a whole lot of trouble."

Kate is still hopeful Sami won't show. Austin insists she will. He thinks something must have happened. Kate stops him as he goes to find her. There is a knock at the door. A greatly disappointed Kate opens the door to see Sami standing there, "Sorry I'm late, Austin, but I'm here now and ready for a wedding." Big hug.

"Betcha thought I wasn't going to make it," says Sami.

"The thought crossed my mind," says Kate.

Sami turns to her and says, "Sorry... MOM."

Sami tells them what happened. There was no way she could call. Sami says she wouldn't miss marrying Austin. Austin feels the same way. Sami knows nothing can keep them apart.

Kate points out the groom saw her before the wedding. Sami says she has already used a lifetime worth of bad luck. Sami leaves to get ready. Lucas pins Austin's wilted flower back onto his lapel.

Kate seethes, "If she calls me 'MOM' once more..."

"You'd better get used to it," says Austin, "This wedding is going to happen."

Marlena tells John she is feeling stronger already, "It's amazing what a few days away from you can do for a woman." John hopes he can move back into the penthouse soon. Roman suggests he not pressure her. John is so grateful.

Hope says that was an awkward moment with Caroline and OMB. Bo says her his parents want them together.

"It's not their decision," says Hope, "It's ours."

"Actually, it's yours," says Bo, "I have to go talk to John about an investigation."

"Here at the wedding," asks Hope.

"It's very important," says Bo.

Frankie and Jennifer come in and we have a hugfest with Hope. Jennifer asks if Hope and Bo are together. "Sort of," says Hope.

Jennifer fills Hope in on Jack's condition. Frankie takes a hike. Hope asks if it's strange living in a threesome. "A little," says Jennifer, but I get good advice from Mickey.",

"Legal advice," asks Hope.

"No," says Jennifer, "Advice about living in a threesome. What about you and your situation with Bo?" Hope stares.

Stephanie, Kayla and Patch walk in. Patch is a little uncomfortable in a tie. Kayla thinks it's got to be difficult being there with all the people who know him when he doesn't know them. "Hey," says Patch, "Free food, right?"

Belle wants to know why Phillip stopped her from telling Billie and the brat about Claire's hospital file.

"Because it's ridiculous," snaps Phillip, "I don't want my sister and my niece to find out about it because then my mom will find out about it and it will really start to snowball. I don't know who is responsible for this, but I will bet my entire trust fund that whoever is, is the same person who switched the embryos."

Lexie has filled Tek in about the flaky file. She tells him Phillip thinks it is part of a conspiracy. Lexie thinks he's right. She drags Tek behind a curtain to talk. She thinks the person interfering with the clueless quad is the same person who made a threatening call to her.

EJ joins the wedding party. He apologizes for being late. "At least you got her here," says Austin.

"I can't believe my car broke down," says EJ.

"Neither can I," says Looselips.

Jennifer thinks things are looking up for Hope and Bo whether Hope wants to admit it or not.

OMB and Caroline are happy to see Frankie there with Jennifer, Hope with Bo and Steve with Kayla.

Kayla, Patch and Stephanie enter the sanctuary. Stephanie leaves and Billie joins them. Billie brings up the dart game. She's ready for a rematch.

"Just get me out of this suit first," says Patch.

DeAnna notices Sami's Chloe-face. Sami tells them how she got it.

"Your hair looks like you've been through a car wash," says DeAnna.

"That's what you're here for," snorts Sami. She begs DeAnna to help her look more beautiful than ever for her trip down the aisle.

Right out of the blue, Marlena asks Sami if she really wants to marry Austin. Sami says of course she does, especially after all she went through to get here. Marlena says that's exactly what she is talking about, "Sometimes we put obstacles in our path and it's a message from our subconscious." Sami runs through the litany of thinks her subconscious did not do, like cause EJ to get a speeding ticket, have his car break down and start a thunderstorm, "Nothing is going to stop me form marrying Austin."

Tek asks Lexie about what threatening call she got. She tells him she got the call just as she was about to expose Sami. She doesn't know who it was.

"Was it a man or woman," asks Tek.

"Neither," says Lexie.

Bo tells Patch and John Hope is giving their marriage a second chance. John assures him he is on the case, but Bo's marriage might have a chance anyway. Patch says he got a good piece of information that might help.

Stephanie and Max bicker about who will win the Salem GP. Max wants to bet. Stephanie says, "That's a violation of our ethics clause, but if you don't want to bet money..."

Max sees the brat, "I have to go. My date is here." Max tries to talk to the little snot, but she is distant. Max asks, "Is this about the paternity secret?"

The brat is shocked, "Abby has such a big mouth!"

Max ignores it, "Did you tell the people involved who the father is?"

"I left the file where they could find it," says the brat, "Noting happened, and I'm going to find out why."

Lucas' mouth runs around like a loose cannon. He wonders how EJ's car broke down if he is a professional driver. EJ says he pays too much attention to his racecar and not enough attention to his personal car.

Marlena gives Sami an old bracelet from her grandma. Carrie gives her a new garter. Belle let's her borrow the pearls, and she has the new earrings from EJ. Everyone ooh's and ah's over the earrings as DeAnna says she has to finish Sami's hair.

Sami tells Belle she heard about Shawn's little drinking escapade. Belle says Shawn is OK. Sami wonders if everything is OK with Belle. No it's not. Sami asks DeAnna to leave so she can hear the juicy details. They have so much time. DeAnna huffs out. The brat starts to walk in but eavesdrops through the door as Belle tells the girls about the mysterious file. Belle insists Shawn can't be Claire's father.

"You wish it were true," says Carrie, "I can see it in your eyes, Belle. You wish that Claire was Shawn's baby, don't you?" The brat listens in.

Max comes up to Stephanie. She invites him to sit with her during the ceremony, "If you don't mind sitting next to the next winner of the Salem GP."

"You have been breathing too many gas fumes," says Max.

"Then maybe I'd better not sit next to you after all," she says.

Bo asks Patch what he found out. Patch wants their word they won't bust him. Once they give their word, Patch tells them a geek buddy of his back in Cincinnati did a hack-attack on Eve's bank account. "I didn't hear a word you said," says John, "So what did you find?"

"Guess who made a hefty cash deposit the day after that surveillance disk went missing," says Patch.

"Eve was involved," says John. You can't put anything past superspy.

"Now we have to find out who paid her off," says Bo.

Speaking of whom, Kate tells EJ if he was going to delay Sami, at least he could have kept her occupied until the wedding was called off.

"Come, come now Kate, you're assuming I kept her late on purpose."

"Don't play with me," says Kate.

"Now, there's an idea."

"I have a feeling if Sami and Austin do get married, you're not going to be out of the picture," says Kate.

Belle tells the sisters Phillip is determined to find out who messed with the file. The brat eavesdrops but rushes off as Will and Lucas come to the door. Will comes in to wish his mother his best, "I just hope nothing goes wrong."

Lexie tells Tek the threatening call came from a mechanized voice, "It said if the information came out about Sami, it would hurt Abe and Theo." She thinks she shouldn't have told Tek this but she couldn't keep it to herself any more, "The blackmail, the IVF switch and the file all involve Brady's." Tek says he will check it out. Lexie bawls. Tek hugs.

Sami assures Will nothing will go wrong. Will says he always hoped Sami and Lucas would get together, but he is really happy for her. In other words he's not going to live the rest of his life bawling about his parents getting together like Sami. Lucas thought Sami and EJ would turn out to be more than friends. He thinks Austin is lucky to wind up with a catch like Sami.

"Who also happens to be a great mom," says Will.

"Thank you," says Sami, "and I promise I will never disappoint you again." Translation: Prepare yourself, Will.

Carrie knocks at Austin's door. Austin drools, "Again, you look beautiful."

Carrie tells him it's time to walk the last mile, "All the best, Austin."

"Wait," says Austin, "Don't go."

Jennifer says she isn't worried about leaving Jack alone. She tells Frankie she was thinking about their wedding in this church, "The future was very clear to me back then, but Jack and Steve came back and nothing seems clear now."

Kayla wonders why Hope didn't call her about Shawn, "You should have taken advantage of the fact I am a doctor."

"We had Lexie there," says Hope.

"Like I said," says Kayla, "You needed a doctor."

Hope says all she cared about was if Shawn was OK.

Bo and Patch walk up looking pretty pleased with themselves. Kayla asks, "What's up with the two of you? You look like two cats that swallowed the canaries."

Bo spits the canary feathers out and says, "Nothin'... uh...we're just glad we're all here together."

Chelsea walks in and sees Max and Stephanie talking. Before she can do anything about it, Caroline tells her to go be a bridesmaid.

Kate announces to EJ that they will be sitting together. She goes off with John to ask him a question.

Roman heads to the back of the sanctuary.

Billie tells Phillip he looks good for a guy who almost drank himself into oblivion. She feels kind of left out with all her siblings getting married.

Austin tells Carrie, "Six months ago neither of us thought this is how things would turn out."

Carrie is pensive, "Let's see... six months ago... that was about a week in Salem time, wasn't it? That's what life's all about. Accepting the changes life throws at you. I hope your life with Sami will be everything you hope for." Carrie goes to help Sami.

Sami stands all decked out in her dress as Carrie and Marlena walk in and gasp. Sami wonders if something is wrong, but Marlena assures her everything is OK, "It's time."

Sami asks for a minute alone. They all leave and Sami stares in the mirror. As she starts to leave the phone rings. She hesitates but picks it up, "Eric is that you?"

"No," says the mechanical voice, "Listen carefully. If this wedding happens your secret will be revealed – The way you blackmailed Lexie. Marry Austin and it will all come out. It would be a pity to disappoint your son again." Tears.

Austin shadow boxes. Lucas and Will walk in. Austin can't figure out why he's so nervous. Lucas insists nothing will stop the wedding.

Kate picks up a megaphone and asks John, "How did your date go?"

Marlena stands behind John and asks, "You had a date?"

"I can explain," says John.

"Not right now," says Marlena, "They're about to start the ceremony."

Kate smirks and walks off.

The ceremony begins. The fool's parade comes down the aisle: Belle and Phillip. Will and the brat. Lucas and Carrie. Austin stares at Carrie.

Prevuze: Hey! Whoever called this a McWedding in the first place? If McDonalds served food at this pace, it would have been out of business years ago. Readers: Uh, Prevuze, YOU called it a McWedding in the first place. Prevuze: Never mind.

Sami comes up to Roman in a trance. "It's showtime," says Roman, "You look beautiful."

Sami is a zombie, "What?"

Roman asks, "Is something wrong?"

"No," says Sami, "What could possibly be wrong?"

"Sami, look at me," says Roman, "Do you want to marry Austin or not?" Sami stands there nearly in tears. FF.

Previews
========

Lexie says, "When Shawn was here, Claire's medical file was found in his room." Candy-striper Bonnie asks, "What?"

Tek is on the phone, "Keep your eyes on all the entrances, windows too. We don't know who we're dealing with or what his MO is."

John looks toward the back of the sanctuary and grunts. Marlena asks, "What?" John shrugs it off, "Nothing."

Sami stands at the altar. Her voice cracks as she says, "Austin I – I don't think I can do this."