Rumpy Pumpy
Longtime St. Luke's handyman Dwayne Pipe and his young, enthusiastic trainee Igor Beaver haul the large piece of equipment into the church narthex and begin to set it up. Assisted by his surly right-hand man Keith Myath, Dwayne lugs the big fan into the center of the room as Igor plugs it in. Keith flips the switch and the massive blades begin to whirl. Once the fan picks up speed, the remaining crew members York Rapp, Harly Workin and Chuck Depou each grab a big shovelful of the fresh pile of cow manure sitting behind the fan. At the appointed moment, the boys bring their shovels into position and...
At the same time the sanctuary doors open. The entire christening party stands there as Kayla shouts at Caroline, "YOU'VE GOT TO TELL EVERYONE THAT DANIEL IS NOT THE FATHER OF CHLOE'S BABY!"
SPLAT!
The poo hits the fan and the fun begins.
Vivian is in the den with Gus talking about Brady and Nicole having "rumpy pumpy" at the DiMera mansion without closing the curtains. Vivian plots her revenge as Brady walks in and challenges her.
Nicole can't believe EJ proposed. He confirms it. Nicole thinks he's funnin' her, but EJ assures her he's on the level.
Chloe asks what Caroline and Kayla are doing. Daniel asks for clarification. Clhoe insists the pair have no idea what they are talking about. Daniel insists on an explanation.
Daniel's voice shakes as he asks Maggie to take Parker from him. Phillip and Chloe protest. Melanie quivers. Daniel demands an explanation. Phillip tries to get Caroline out, but she just about puts him in need of another artificial body part. "It's the truth Daniel," says Caroline.
"Who is the father," asks Daniel.
Caroline points at Phillip. Chloe gasps.
Vivian asks to speak to Brady alone. Gus leaves. Vivian tells him he's a vodka soaked loser and can't be a Don Quixote saving his Dulcenea. Brady hands her an envelope.
Nicole says it's never dull with EJ around. He says he's not proposing a conventional marriage, but more or less an arrangement. She will get to be Sydney's mother, however. And Johnny's. With EJ there, she'd have three children to take care of. He says what's in it for him is symmetry.
"In other words, I complete you," says Nicole.
"I suppose you do."
Nicole wonders what he is up to.
Phillip gets nasty with Caroline. He and Victor wonder if she's just trying to get even with Victor for his past sins. Caroline grits her teeth and spits it all out, "I know, because I changed the paternity test results myself."
Chloe insists it's not true. "Chloe had the test because she was unfaithful with Phillip."
"You mean she even cheated on him, too? She's right, isn't she," asks Daniel. "ISN'T SHE?" He heads for Phillip...
WHAM!
Brady has photoshopped the photos of Nicole and him. "Are you trying to prove Nicole is more of a whore than she really is," asks Vivian. Brady says he's going to show them to prove she phonied up the pictures. He tells Vivian she's been beaten at her own game.
Nicole plops into a chair and says EJ has swept her off her feet. She goes for a drink and EJ orders her to stop, "You get to be Sydney's mother and all I ask is that you be an exemplary mother. You have to stop drinking and screwing around."
"You're hard to resist when you talk so sweet," says Nicole.
A gal in the audience yells, "And he's hard to resist anytime."
Nicole thinks this is about EJ trying to drive Sami crazy.
Dan attacks Phillip, "I told you I'd kill you!"
Phillip begs. Melanie ignores. Daniel turns on the rage afterburners. Phillip suggests they take it outside. He'll be lucky to live until he gets outside.
Daniel pontificates about being in the house of God. Phillip insists it isn't true, but Daniel tells him to be a man about it. Carly has to restrain him. Melanie goes for Clhoe and accuses Carly of knowing this the whole time.
Daniel asks if Carly knew. Carly wants to be left alone. She swears she didn't know who the father was. To cut to the chase, Daniel and Melanie figure out that everyone knew everything — except them, of course. Phillip's pants burst into flame as he continues to insist he couldn't possibly be the father.
Caroline swoons.
Brady tells Vivian she screwed up and he leaves. Vivian tries to convince herself she can handle EJ.
Nicole asks, "What about the money?"
EJ says she never changes, but she’ll be looked after nicely, "If I die, however, you get nothing. You have a decision to make."
Caroline gets worse. "Somebody call a doctor," Daniel, Kayla and Carly scream in unison. Caroline continues to have a meltdown.
Nicole says, "I don't see us as soul mates." Cellmates, maybe. EJ gives her until the end of the day to make up her mind. He leaves. Nicole turns on the waterworks, "What is Brady going to say?"
Vivian says she's heading for Chez DiMera.
Caroline has completely collapsed and is lying on a pew. Kayla tries to comfort her. Comforting — she can do that... giving her medical attention is out of Kayla’s league.
Phillip and Victor leave. Victor lectures him and says he can't believe Phillip did this, "I thought you had grown up and started using your brain instead of your..."
"With me they're one in the same," says Phillip.
Melanie comes out. Phillip calls for her. "Phillip, go somewhere... like hell," says Melanie. Carly comes out, chases Phillip off and swears she didn't know it was Phillip. "You never lie, do you," asks Melanie.
Nicole guzzles booze. Her phone rings and she picks up. Brady asks her to come to the pier. Nicole says she's got news.
Kayla fills Dr. Ben in on the details of what happened to Caroline. Ben asks, "Does she have a history of TIA's."
"No," says Kayla, "Just FIM's."
"FIM's?"
"Foot in mouths."
"Knowing you, I'd say it must be hereditary," says Ben.
Ben goes into Caroline's room and Daniel tells him he can’t be involved in the case. Daniel comes out into the waiting area. Kayla says, "I am so sorry." Daniel walks off.
Back in the sanctuary Carly offers to take Melanie home. Melanie says that's an awkward suggestion, "I'm not really sure where home is. I could come back to your place and we could catch up on all the things you've been lying about. In the last 20 minutes I've lost my husband, my brother and Caroline might die. Who knows what will happen to Caroline. You're really not my top priority right now."
Clhoe is on the phone with Maggie. She says she'll be home in a few minutes. Phillip finds her and Chloe huffs out.
Victor worries Bo might find out about Caroline and try to visit her, "You know what an idiot he is." Phillip wonders what they can do next.
Victor asks, "Why Chloe?"
Phillip asks, "Have you seen those knockers?" He explains how everything happened.
Victor lectures, "You were an imbecile. You are tied to that slut forever. Have you ever heard of a condom? Your priority needs to be Melanie." Victor stomps off.
Ben tells Kayla Caroline is stable. "A stable is where she belongs," says Kayla, "Her mouth is as big as a horse's."
Melanie broods. She says she thought having a family would make her problems go away but all it did was give a bunch of people a way to hurt her. She asks Carly to leave her alone. Carly sulks off. Phillip comes in with 'guilt' written all over his artificial face.
Nicole meets Brady at the pier. He tells her Vivian is planning to take the pictures to EJ. He says he thinks Vivian won't want to shove them in front of EJ with what's going on with Johnny and that will buy them some time. Nicole drops the proposal bomb.
Vivian shows up at the DiMera mansion. She hands EJ a giant teddy bear for Johnny as she walks in, "I am so fond of Stefano, I felt a responsibility to tell you that you've been had." She hands him the pictures, "Nicole and Brady have made quite the fool of you." EJ peeks at the pix.
Maggie finds Victor at the hospital. He tells her Caroline had a stroke and that what she said at the church is true, "Phillip is the father." Maggie has her own private stroke and wonders why Caroline got into this. Victor tells her Caroline changed the results, "She said she did it so another Kiriakis couldn't ruin another life. She did this out of hatred for me. I don't know if I want her to survive."
A nurse tells Carly Caroline had a good kind of stroke. Ask Caroline if she thinks it was a good stroke.
Kayla tells Carly this is her fault.
Back at the church, Melanie spits fire at Phillip, "How could you do this?"
Previews
========
Brady says to Nicole, "You're marrying the most hateful bastard on the face of the planet."
Dan confronts Chloe. "For once, tell me the truth."
Melanie wails at Phillip, "Just shut up and leave me alone."
At the same time the sanctuary doors open. The entire christening party stands there as Kayla shouts at Caroline, "YOU'VE GOT TO TELL EVERYONE THAT DANIEL IS NOT THE FATHER OF CHLOE'S BABY!"
SPLAT!
The poo hits the fan and the fun begins.
Vivian is in the den with Gus talking about Brady and Nicole having "rumpy pumpy" at the DiMera mansion without closing the curtains. Vivian plots her revenge as Brady walks in and challenges her.
Nicole can't believe EJ proposed. He confirms it. Nicole thinks he's funnin' her, but EJ assures her he's on the level.
Chloe asks what Caroline and Kayla are doing. Daniel asks for clarification. Clhoe insists the pair have no idea what they are talking about. Daniel insists on an explanation.
Daniel's voice shakes as he asks Maggie to take Parker from him. Phillip and Chloe protest. Melanie quivers. Daniel demands an explanation. Phillip tries to get Caroline out, but she just about puts him in need of another artificial body part. "It's the truth Daniel," says Caroline.
"Who is the father," asks Daniel.
Caroline points at Phillip. Chloe gasps.
Vivian asks to speak to Brady alone. Gus leaves. Vivian tells him he's a vodka soaked loser and can't be a Don Quixote saving his Dulcenea. Brady hands her an envelope.
Nicole says it's never dull with EJ around. He says he's not proposing a conventional marriage, but more or less an arrangement. She will get to be Sydney's mother, however. And Johnny's. With EJ there, she'd have three children to take care of. He says what's in it for him is symmetry.
"In other words, I complete you," says Nicole.
"I suppose you do."
Nicole wonders what he is up to.
Phillip gets nasty with Caroline. He and Victor wonder if she's just trying to get even with Victor for his past sins. Caroline grits her teeth and spits it all out, "I know, because I changed the paternity test results myself."
Chloe insists it's not true. "Chloe had the test because she was unfaithful with Phillip."
"You mean she even cheated on him, too? She's right, isn't she," asks Daniel. "ISN'T SHE?" He heads for Phillip...
WHAM!
Brady has photoshopped the photos of Nicole and him. "Are you trying to prove Nicole is more of a whore than she really is," asks Vivian. Brady says he's going to show them to prove she phonied up the pictures. He tells Vivian she's been beaten at her own game.
Nicole plops into a chair and says EJ has swept her off her feet. She goes for a drink and EJ orders her to stop, "You get to be Sydney's mother and all I ask is that you be an exemplary mother. You have to stop drinking and screwing around."
"You're hard to resist when you talk so sweet," says Nicole.
A gal in the audience yells, "And he's hard to resist anytime."
Nicole thinks this is about EJ trying to drive Sami crazy.
Dan attacks Phillip, "I told you I'd kill you!"
Phillip begs. Melanie ignores. Daniel turns on the rage afterburners. Phillip suggests they take it outside. He'll be lucky to live until he gets outside.
Daniel pontificates about being in the house of God. Phillip insists it isn't true, but Daniel tells him to be a man about it. Carly has to restrain him. Melanie goes for Clhoe and accuses Carly of knowing this the whole time.
Daniel asks if Carly knew. Carly wants to be left alone. She swears she didn't know who the father was. To cut to the chase, Daniel and Melanie figure out that everyone knew everything — except them, of course. Phillip's pants burst into flame as he continues to insist he couldn't possibly be the father.
Caroline swoons.
Brady tells Vivian she screwed up and he leaves. Vivian tries to convince herself she can handle EJ.
Nicole asks, "What about the money?"
EJ says she never changes, but she’ll be looked after nicely, "If I die, however, you get nothing. You have a decision to make."
Caroline gets worse. "Somebody call a doctor," Daniel, Kayla and Carly scream in unison. Caroline continues to have a meltdown.
Nicole says, "I don't see us as soul mates." Cellmates, maybe. EJ gives her until the end of the day to make up her mind. He leaves. Nicole turns on the waterworks, "What is Brady going to say?"
Vivian says she's heading for Chez DiMera.
Caroline has completely collapsed and is lying on a pew. Kayla tries to comfort her. Comforting — she can do that... giving her medical attention is out of Kayla’s league.
Phillip and Victor leave. Victor lectures him and says he can't believe Phillip did this, "I thought you had grown up and started using your brain instead of your..."
"With me they're one in the same," says Phillip.
Melanie comes out. Phillip calls for her. "Phillip, go somewhere... like hell," says Melanie. Carly comes out, chases Phillip off and swears she didn't know it was Phillip. "You never lie, do you," asks Melanie.
Nicole guzzles booze. Her phone rings and she picks up. Brady asks her to come to the pier. Nicole says she's got news.
Kayla fills Dr. Ben in on the details of what happened to Caroline. Ben asks, "Does she have a history of TIA's."
"No," says Kayla, "Just FIM's."
"FIM's?"
"Foot in mouths."
"Knowing you, I'd say it must be hereditary," says Ben.
Ben goes into Caroline's room and Daniel tells him he can’t be involved in the case. Daniel comes out into the waiting area. Kayla says, "I am so sorry." Daniel walks off.
Back in the sanctuary Carly offers to take Melanie home. Melanie says that's an awkward suggestion, "I'm not really sure where home is. I could come back to your place and we could catch up on all the things you've been lying about. In the last 20 minutes I've lost my husband, my brother and Caroline might die. Who knows what will happen to Caroline. You're really not my top priority right now."
Clhoe is on the phone with Maggie. She says she'll be home in a few minutes. Phillip finds her and Chloe huffs out.
Victor worries Bo might find out about Caroline and try to visit her, "You know what an idiot he is." Phillip wonders what they can do next.
Victor asks, "Why Chloe?"
Phillip asks, "Have you seen those knockers?" He explains how everything happened.
Victor lectures, "You were an imbecile. You are tied to that slut forever. Have you ever heard of a condom? Your priority needs to be Melanie." Victor stomps off.
Ben tells Kayla Caroline is stable. "A stable is where she belongs," says Kayla, "Her mouth is as big as a horse's."
Melanie broods. She says she thought having a family would make her problems go away but all it did was give a bunch of people a way to hurt her. She asks Carly to leave her alone. Carly sulks off. Phillip comes in with 'guilt' written all over his artificial face.
Nicole meets Brady at the pier. He tells her Vivian is planning to take the pictures to EJ. He says he thinks Vivian won't want to shove them in front of EJ with what's going on with Johnny and that will buy them some time. Nicole drops the proposal bomb.
Vivian shows up at the DiMera mansion. She hands EJ a giant teddy bear for Johnny as she walks in, "I am so fond of Stefano, I felt a responsibility to tell you that you've been had." She hands him the pictures, "Nicole and Brady have made quite the fool of you." EJ peeks at the pix.
Maggie finds Victor at the hospital. He tells her Caroline had a stroke and that what she said at the church is true, "Phillip is the father." Maggie has her own private stroke and wonders why Caroline got into this. Victor tells her Caroline changed the results, "She said she did it so another Kiriakis couldn't ruin another life. She did this out of hatred for me. I don't know if I want her to survive."
A nurse tells Carly Caroline had a good kind of stroke. Ask Caroline if she thinks it was a good stroke.
Kayla tells Carly this is her fault.
Back at the church, Melanie spits fire at Phillip, "How could you do this?"
Previews
========
Brady says to Nicole, "You're marrying the most hateful bastard on the face of the planet."
Dan confronts Chloe. "For once, tell me the truth."
Melanie wails at Phillip, "Just shut up and leave me alone."
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3 Comments:
”You’re not really my top priority right now.”
Victor worries Bo might find out about Caroline and try to visit her, “You know what an idiot he is.”
“She did this out of hatred for me. I don’t know if I want her to survive.”
Well at least Melanie and Victor aren’t hiding their feelings. HA And I gotta agree with the Bo assessment!
This all sounds like a great reveal. It might actually be a re-watch moment. Let’s hope eventually everyone turns their wrath where it belongs, to the sanctimonious bigmouth who just had to butt in – Kayla.
Being stuck in a nearly empty office I could laugh as much as I want – especially over the fan setup. It set the stage perfectly for what was to come. And also Phillip’s pants burst into flame as he continues.
Thanks, Prevuze!
LOVE LOVE LOVE the poo hitting the fan scene!
I saw part of the episode earlier at lunch...can't wait to sit down for the fallout later. The fact that this reveal went down in one day is pretty remarkable, considering the writing staff! Poor Daniel, he's not been my favorite character but, jeez what a way to start your day!
Melanie is quietly simmering, thank goodness. We've been spared most of the wailing until tomorrow.
Phillip asks, "Have you seen those knockers?" He explains how everything happened.
Phillip's pants burst into flame as he continues to insist he couldn't possibly be the father.
Phillip comes in with 'guilt' written all over his artificial face.
Hilarious! OMG you sure didn't cut Ol'Phil any slack today! Too funny! I really am intrigued about how they will play this one out..you know Miss Priss Kayla is thinking God got her momma right about now. I'm sure they will blame Caroline's crazy behavior on tia's. Sami may try to use that defense herself! Have a great New Year everyone!!
Don't think they explained what a TIA was/meant. Maybe the actors couldn't pronounce it. Since this is DOOL and they were talking about Mrs. B (and if I didn't know TIA meant "transient ischemic attack") I would have assumed they were referring to her Terribly Insensitive Attitude lately. Or Totally Idiotic Actions.
Prevuze really captured the spirit of this episode with the "peacemakers" picture and that hilarious beginning.
Melanie was surprisingly quiet in the aftermath. As Miss Scarlett just noted, we get the whining and yelling soon. Just wait until Mel finds out (as I predicted days ago) that she's pregnant as I read in a spoiler.
Can't wait for tomorrow and how Kayla (of all people) explains why this is all CARLY'S fault.
Thanks for the snarky update Prevuze.
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