My Triple Lutz Turned Into A Double Klutz

Finally... today's posting. Someone tweeted that I may be blaming the snow for being late. I am. Believe me, when the snow gets down from butt-level to shoe-level, I'll stop blaming it. And thanks, by the way, for all your well-wishes. Anyway, here goes. Better late than never... I hope...

Distraught mommy Sami stares at a picture of Sydney. A knock at the door interrupts her reverie. She goes to answer, opens the door and in what is the most obvious and totally contrived fantasy since... since... uh... the last fantasy sequence on DOOL, she looks down and sees...

"SYDNEY!"

Bo bustles. He grabs his briefcase, heads for the door and opens it. In what is not a fantasy but is still contrived he finds Justin standing there. Justin, who apparently has picked up some of Maggie's cooties, launches into a holier-than-thou diatribe about the way Carly and Bo were cheek-cavorting the evening before. He tells Bo he saw them through the window. Bo accuses him of spying and then wonders if he confronted Carly with the same damning accusations when they took off together the evening before. Oh, gasp! He did. Bo accuses him of being a jerk. "All right," bellows Justin, "If you wanna destroy your marriage, I won't say another word!"

"I appreciate that," says Bo, "She's hard enough to get rid of without you trying to get us back together. And you're still a jerk."

Carly finds Maggie at the hospital. Maggie apologizes for letting the girls run roughshod on her and decide she couldn't live there, "After all it is my house." Maggie figures maybe she should veto the girls' veto.

"No," says Carly, "You did the right thing. And I hate to keep imposing on your kindness, but I have another favor to ask. And this one... it really needs to work out."

Melanie comes into Maggie's kitchen and drops her keys on the counter. Today is surprise-at-the-door-day on DOOL. Melanie goes to the door and there stands Phillip with a bouquet of flowers, "SURPRISE! CENSORED."

Well, while Phillip tries to help himself to the Melanie Buffet, Nathan stands at another buffet set up at the pub, which is all set up for Christmas. He flashes back to his talk with Melanie where she threw all dignity out the window (not a problem, she didn't have much left) and begged him to give her another chance. Daniel comes up behind him, "Good morning."

Slobberin' Sami sees Sydney, sobs and stoops.

POP!

Back to reality. I hate to be too critical, but if that one fooled you... well, you may just be DOOL writer material. Once you get out of the nuthouse, that is.

Sami sits on her couch and realizes she has been fantasizing. She panics and runs to the door blubbering and babbling. She flings the door open to find... nothing. Well, there is a copy of the Salem Sleazebucket, but that doesn't count for much. She picks it up and reads the devastating headline, "NO BREAK IN THE DIMERA KIDNAPPING!" Oh, the angst!

Stefano paces around the rumpus room talking on the phone, "Excellent! Just sit tight until I give you further instructions." He hangs up (why do we still say "dial" and "hang up" when you do neither on a cell phone?

A reader fires off an email, "We don't, Prevuze. You do. We'll throw a big welcoming party when you decide to join us in the 21st century."

EJ strolls in, "Enough games. Where is my daughter?"

Meanwhile, in parts unknown, a mysterious female voice sings to Sydney...

Rock-a-bye baby,
In the tree top,
Unless the plot moves,
This show will flop.
Vivian comes into the den and we find Victor impersonating Joe Cool as he sits there all decked out in shades. "What happened to you," gasps Vivian.

Victor lifts his glasses and reveals his black and blue face, "I was ice skating with Ciara and my triple lutz turned into a double klutz. It wasn't entirely my fault. Ciara got five minutes in the penalty box for excessive forechecking." He reminds her their shacking up is all for show, "Keep your eye on the prize." She does. She stares right at him. She also vows to get Carly.

Carly is at the hospital to interview for a staff position. She asks Maggie for advice with the committee, "I don't want to say anything impolitic."

"Then don't tell them you're a good doctor," says Maggie, "or they will reject you for sure."

Bo wonders how this all became Justin's business. "Because I care," says Justin, "I butt in because I care."

Bo snarls, "Get a life and stay out of ours... and Carly's."

Stefano is nonplussed, "This makes me apoplectic that you are blaming me for this tragedy."

EJ has a cow, "TRAGEDY? You aren't saying..."

"What am I supposed to call it," asks Stefano, "an annoyance? I want this nightmare to end. Oh... you don't mind if I call it a nightmare, do you? Don't feel sorry for yourself. You disowned her. Get the hell out of my house!"

EJ tosses a verbal grenade back at him, "If anyone is leaving this house, it's you."

Phillip works his way into the kitchen. The conversation immediately turns to Nathan and Melanie tells him she's determined she will convince him she can be with him exclusively. Phillip doesn't take her seriously which gets Melanie's hackles up. Phillip is amused. He tells her he likes everything about her, "but Nathan only likes the part that is good, which is why he's just not that into you." Phillip thinks Nathan is boring.

Melanie thinks Nathan treats her like she's classy, "I like looking at me through Nathan's eyes." She leaves.

Daniel has something to share with Nathan.

Sami reads the paper and we have another knock. This time it's Bo. He tells her there is no substantial news about Sydney, but is there to go over the details again to make sure they didn't miss anything. Sami is convinced Stefano is behind this.

EJ tells Stefano this isn't his house any more. When he was in the coma Elvis put the house in his name because he didn't want Kate to get her hands on it, "I have the power to throw you out."

Stefano erupts, "The only power you have is to take out the garbage!" Kate joins the party as Elvis rants and accuses Stefano of kidnapping Sydney.

Kate defends Stefano, "He's tortured."

"I know," says EJ, "I've seen the handcuffs and whips in your bedroom."

Chloe joins Daniel and Nathan. She tells Nathan she and Daniel have big news. Daniel and Chloe argue about who should tell him. Daniel loses and tells him he's nominated Melanie and him for a special commendation from the hospital since they saved Chloe's life. Not everyone else is that grateful, though. He turns to Chloe, "Tell them what else they've won, Don Pardo."

Chloe chirps, "We've also planned something special that both of you will love."

"Both of whom," asks Nathan.

Chloe can hardly contain her excitement, "You and — here she comes now." Melanie walks in.

Phillip is back at the mansion. He growls and tosses the flowers onto a table. Vivian walks in and gushes, "Are those for me? You shouldn't have! You make me feel so welcome!"

"Welcome," asks Phillip.

Sunglass-equipped Victor walks in, "Yes, Vivian is living here."

Phillip does a double-take, "WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?"

"He wanted to be like Brian Boitano," giggles Vivian.

Phillip gasps, "You wanted to be gay?" He's upset Victor didn't tell him Vivian was moving in before the fact. Vivian leaves and Phillip questions Victor's sanity, "What on earth ever possessed you to try ice skating?"

Bo grills Sami. Sami don' kno' nuthin' except she thinks Stefano is behind this. Bo vows to get Sydney back.

"You got Ciara back," says Sami, "It gives me hope."

"Actually," says Bo, "That's what lost me Hope." Bo leaves to go see Roman.

Maggie and Carly stroll at the pier with their Java Café lattes. Maggie digs. She wants to know why Carly wants to stay in Salem, "The answer is obvious, it's Bo."

Apparently Chloe has asked Melanie to join them at the pub, but didn't say Nathan and Daniel would be there. Daniel tells her about the big award, but a phone call interrupts. He informs them he has to get back to the hospital and leaves Chloe to mop up.

Chloe is near a state of giddification, "We found out you're an item so... here!" She hands Melanie and envelope containing a gift certificate for a romantic weekend away at the Green Mountain Lodge. Melanie's smile melts like a Death Valley frost.

Victor and Phillip argue. Victor announces, "Vivian and I are back together."

Phillip chokes, "That is a total joke! you hate her with a vengeance."

"This conversation is over," declares Victor. He leaves.

Vivian comes back for her coat. She asks Phillip if the flowers were for the special someone they talked about. She figures that's the case and things didn't go well. "Why is it any of your business," asks Phillip.

"It's my business because I care for you," says Vivian, "I butt in because I care."

EJ tells Stefano to go to hell and leaves. Kate supports her loving husband. He snorts, "Finally, my son gets what he deserves. After all he's done."

Outside, EJ calls Sami, "I need to see you right now." They both hang up. Sami ponders.

Kate goes for tea to calm Stefano's nerves. He calls the mystery woman.

Mystery Woman picks up. She tells Stefano everything is fine.

Melanie and Phillip stammer and tell Chloe they aren't together any more. Chloe gets a call. She apologizes and leaves. Nathan and Melanie share an uncomfortable moment. Nathan encourages her to take Phillip on the weekend getaway.

Phillip don' wan' no stinkin' advice from Vivian. She says she knows one day he will accept her as his mother.

"That must mean every one is right," says Phillip, "I really am a son of a bitch." A yellow flag flies into the room. Phillip gets 15 yards for unsportsmanlike conduct.

Carly wants Justin to back off and threatens to fill Maggie in about his dishonorable intentions with a certain someone. They tell him Carly is staying in Salem and that sends Justin packing.

Carly rants against Justin but Maggie thinks she may be so upset because there is truth to the fact she has feelings for Bo. Carly denies.

Stefano gets off the phone as Kate comes back. She tries to encourage him but Stefano wants none of it. He tells her about EJ's intention to kick them out of the house. Kate's doubts surface, "He's wrong, isn't he? You don't have Sydney, do you?" Stefano stares.

EJ arrives and tells Sami he's figured out how to get Stefano to take them to Sydney.

Melanie gets sarcastic, "Oh, going away with Phillip would be great fun since we aren't on speaking terms. We could sit there and sneer at each other."

"Or make another video," says Nathan.

Melanie aims a howitzer right between his eyes, "That damn well have better been an un-italicized Prevuzism." He apologizes for being a jerk. She accepts but it doesn't change the fact he's a jerk. They decide they were a good team but Melanie thinks they weren't good for reach other. She breaks out crying and leaves.

Maggie presses. It's OK. That's what Maggie does. Carly opens up to her. She says she just sought refuge with the one person she could trust and that was Bo. She insists he's just a friend, "I know he belongs with Hope."

Maggie tosses a little gas onto the fire, "Even though he's currently not with Hope?"

Justin finds Daniel and asks for his help, "It has to do with a woman I know."

"No problem," says Daniel, "Just bring her to me and I'll grope her until she's raw."

Melanie shows up at the Kiriakis Mansion looking for Phillip. Vivian figures she's the one Phillip has been obsessing about and invites her in. She calls Phillip and sings his praises to Melanie. Vivian goes off to let them have some fun. "Who was that," asks Melanie.

"Incubator Mom," says Phillip, "So have you changed your mind?"

"Yes... and no."

Carly keeps denying as Bo himself joins the conversation.

Chloe is on the phone confirming Nicole has been transported back to Salem. She goes back to Nathan and apologizes for the SNAFU, "You need a friend right now." But it ain't her. She leaves.

Justin says he wants Daniel's help with the staff selection committee, "I have a friend who has an interview with the committee."

"I can't play favors and get them to approve her," says Daniel.

"I don't want you to approve her," says Justin, "I want you to turn her down."

Bo asks to hang out with Carly and Maggie. How low we can sink. Carly says she can't stay and leaves. Maggie has to go to. Bo stands alone as Vivian comes up, "BO! I HAVE SOMETHING TO TELL YOU!"

"I have a few things to say to you, too," says Bo.

If I only had one hour to live, I'd spend it watching DOOL... because it would seem like a century.

Kate just wants Stefano to know she's on his side. "You are all I have since my son is now my enemy," says Stefano.

EJ tells Sami he's going to fight Stefano for control of the property. He thinks if Stefano is caught up in a legal mess he'll have to stay put and he may let something slip. He says he's had the phones tapped.

"Are you actually going to monitor them," asks Sami, "Or is that like the security system in the place you seem to have forgotten about?" Sami is skeptical that Stefano will be suspicious of him.

"That is where you come in," says EJ.

Rejected, dejected conflicted Nathan calls Stephanie and leaves a message.

Melanie says she doesn't want flowers, limousines or a 'date-date.' She just wants to hang out. "What changed your mind," asks Phillip.

"Small things can change direction quickly," says Melanie, "As far as Nathan and I go... that ship has sailed and it's sinking fast."

Justin tells Daniel this woman has become a problem. The problem walks up to them, "OMG! Daniel Jonas!"

"I can't believe you're here," beams Daniel. Hugs. Gropes. Justin swallows his tongue.

Bo tells Vivian he knows she's plotting but vows she won't succeed. Vivian thinks Carly's paranoia is catching, "I think you're spending too much time together."

Bo warns, "You'll only get to her over my dead body." He stomps off.

Vivian sighs, "If that's the way it has to be..."

EJ says he knows Sami gets under Stefano's skin and thinks she can push him into saying something. Sami bubbles and agrees. She thanks him for helping her.

Kate's doubts fade and she continues to support Stefano, "I just want you to know that (say it with her) I am here for you."

"Sometimes you act like I am guilty," says Stefano, "I never said I took Sydney."

The skepticism resurfaces, "Right... Of course... Well, I have some phone calls to make." She leaves. Stefano staggers. Stefano stares.

Meanwhile, Mystery Woman hold Sydney and whispers, "Imagine how shocked everyone would be if they found out where you were. But they never will."

"Just the way I planned it," says Sydney.

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