A Nightmare Of Monumental Proportions

Melanie tells Phillip she wants a gesture of good faith. All he has to do is get rid of Stephanie. Phillip says, "As if I'd give up Stephanie for you."

Melanie says, "Then your loss is EJ DiMera's gain."

EJ comes into the bedroom and finds Nicole in her robe. She begs him to make love to her. EJ reminds her she can't do that because she just had a baby. She figures making love is not just about the sex. EJ gets sarcastic, "Well we could lie on the bed and become excruciatingly frustrated."

"You mean you want to lie there and watch DOOL," asks Nicole. She slams him onto the bed.

Hope hands Bo her badge, and Salem is a safer place. Bo says, "I'm sorry this happened."

"So am I," says Ice-Woman.

Chelsea tells Max she has feelings for him, "I have feelings for you and why wouldn't I? I'm a normal person with normal needs – love, affection, companionship, a roof over my head and three squares a day."

Max gasps, "You're eating three square meals a day?"

"No," says Chelsea, "I'm eating three square crackers a day."

Chelsea backpedals and says everything she said just slipped out. They go back over the well-trodden Phillip-Stephanie scenario. Things get uncomfortable. So now things are both uncomfortable and boring. "I admit it," says Max, "I have feelings."

"What kind of feelings," asks Chelsea.

"You mean beside nausea," he asks, "The out of control kind. For you."

Stephanie visits Patch and Kayla. They discuss the despair of Hope's predicament.

Melanie tells Phillip she accepts him for who he is. She says she likes his mean and ruthless side, "Show Stephanie the door and your worries will disappear. You'll have more money, the respect of your father and you'll have me."

EJ and Nicole giggle and tickle. EJ just can't believe how very creative Nicole is. Sydney stirs, so Nicole goes for formula. Roman calls EJ. EJ tells him Johnnie misses Sami as Nicole walks back in.

Stephanie, as usual, doesn't get it, "I can't believe Aunt Hope would leave Uncle Bo over this."

"Aunt Hope has left Uncle Bo more times than Lucas has disowned Kate," says Patch. Kayla asks about Phillip. Stephanie falls apart and Daddy flies off the handle thinking Phillip has hurt his widdle girl. Stephanie backs him off and tells them Phillip has a ruthless side.

Hope says she isn't trying to punish Bo as she proceeds to dish out the punishment.

Max and Chelsea talk about "feelings." Yawn. Chelsea is worried about Stephanie, "She's my best friend and it would make her uncomfortable for us to date."

"Not as uncomfortable as it would make me," says Max. The whole thing spirals into the abyss of sappiness and ends in a kiss.

Melanie continues to work on Phillip. Phillip growls, "If you do anything to screw me over I will do anything in my power to destroy you." He stomps off.

Melanie giggles, "God, I Hope so."

EJ hangs up and Nicole gets curious. He tells her he was talking to Roman about Samantha. He also gives her the stale news bulletin about Moron-o's killer being dead. He says he didn't tell her about it earlier because he didn't want to upset her. Nicole becomes unglued, "UPSET ME? WHY WOULD IT UPSET ME? I CAN'T WAIT FOR SAMANTHA TO COME BACK TO SALEM AND RUIN MY LIFE. HEY! I'LL THROW HER A FREAKING PARTY!"

Phillip arrives at Titan and remembers he forgot about Stephanie. He leaves a message and tells her he forgot and will make it up to her, then hangs up and curses, "Damn Melanie!"

Patch wants Stephanie to dump Phillip for good. Stephanie defends him and says Patch isn't being helpful. Steve tries to "patch" things over with his hysterical daughter as she tells him she and Phillip are through anyway. Hugs and love. Stephanie leaves. Kayla assures Patch they don't have to worry about Stephanie, since she's already a lost cause.

Roman pops in and says there is news about Hope, "But it's not what you wanna hear."

"Damn," says Patch, "They let her keep her badge."

Bo vows to do whatever it takes to get Hope her badge back.

"I'm a cop," says Hope, "This kills me. Besides, I was just about to launch the Hope Brady line of little police badge charms on QVC. But I realize this is protocol."

Bo asks, "Is there is some kind of protocol for us, too?"

Of course," says Hope, "I brood, pout and grind you to dust under my heel while I have a quickie affair and we go through another 'whoz the Daddy' plot."

Max and Chelsea attack each other at their table. Patrons run out sick as Melanie comes in and breaks it up. Chelsea leaves. Max says he will call. Melanie bounces off the walls with delight.

Stephanie joins Phillip at Titan. Phillip tries to 'splain about being with Melanie. He insists he can't stand Melanie, but the Alternative Fuels Project is a different issue, "I will not let her and EJ take what's mine."

"What," asks Stephanie, "Are they selling prosthetics on the black market now?"

Shirtless EJ parades it around and insists Sami coming back doesn't change anything, "She doesn't have anything to do with us." Nicole flashes back to the switcheroo and says she just wants EJ all to herself.

"I want the same thing," says EJ, "I want me all to myself, too."

Nicole reminds him how much Sami hates her. EJ says he will not let her come between them. Nicole settles down and then asks how Sami is doing, "Anything interesting happen while she was away?"

"This is DOOL," says EJ, "Nothing interesting has happened since Dr. Tom burned the hot dogs at the family picnic."

Nicole picks Sydney up and hands her to EJ. EJ jams the bottle in her mouth as his phone rings. Nicole sees it's Stefano. They trade baby for phone and EJ goes off to take the call. Nicole ponders, "What are we gonna do when Sami comes home? How are we gonna keep her from ruining everything?"

Stephanie and Phillip continue to argue about the Alternative Fuels Project and Melanie. Phillip reminds her he's a big tycoon and this is all about his career, "Maybe I should just sell insurance or become a bartender."

A referee deducts two points from Phillip for hitting below the belt. "I'll pretend you didn't say that," says Stephanie, "Why are you being so mean to me?"

"I guess I'm just more upset than I realize," says Phillip, "I need you to understand what I have to do for my career and Titan. It drives me crazy that you're so disappointed in me. I meant what I said about starting over."

Stephanie would prefer a kinder and gentler Phillip, "I prefer it when you smile."

Phillip makes his move, "How about when I do this?"

Roman says Hope has been suspended pending a full investigation. He gets a call and leaves. Kayla decides to make a few calls himself, "I'm calling Abe and then the Governor to see if the senate seat is still for sale."

Bo is soooooo sorry. "Sorry doesn't fix this," says Hope. Bo begs for the chance to make it right. No, that would be to easy. Hope has to pout and brood.

Nicole wakes up in the middle of the night and looks for EJ. She gets up and finds Sydney is missing, too. EJ walks in carrying her looking pretty grisly. Nicole asks, "Is something wrong."

EJ growls, "Something is very wrong. It's a nightmare of monumental proportions."

"OMG, no," gasps Nicole, "You mean we're going to have more scenes of Sami and Rafe in the witless protection program?"

Patch yanks the phone from Kayla. Kayla rants, "That psychopath would have killed me if Hope wouldn't have stepped in and tried to do it for him."

Patch wants Kayla to calm down and focus on recovering at that hospital for former Daze couples in Switzerland.

Bo begs Hope to come home with him tonight. He plays the trump card, "Do it for Ciara."

"You mean she finally came home," asks Hope, "I don't know when I will be ready to come home." Hope walks off. Bo whimpers.

Melanie taunts, "Wait till princess Stephanie finds out about this. You've traded up! This is good! I'm happy for you." Max shoos her off. She wonders if he's not going to ask about her and Phillip. Max cautions her not to go through with her crazy plan.

"I'm gong to do it," says Melanie, "I love the adrenaline rush."

Phillip is getting a rush himself at the moment. He tells Stephanie he wants to be with her and only her. Stephanie is skeptical. She leaves.

EJ blows sky-high, "You crossed the DiMeras. That takes chutzpa. Nerves of steel."

Nicole cowers, "Tell me what you are talking about."

EJ is totally unhinged, "You are going to pay for what you did. Revenge is a specialty for us DiMeras." Nicole begs him to let her explain. EJ says I'm taking my baby to see her mother. Her real mother."

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Nicole wakes up and realizes it was just a bad dream, "Sami may be coming home but she will not break up my family. Not while I have breath in my body."

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