Big Bazoons

And just when you thought it was safe to watch because things couldn't get any more dull...

Nicole and EJ decide they are fashionably late as they arrive at the Kiriakis mansion. They stand at the door as Victor barges between them, "Wrong house. Go home."

Nicole protests, "But we were invited. Chloe is my best friend."

"That's a frightening thought," says Victor, "I'm uninviting you."

EJ jumps in, "You're certainly cranky this evening."

Victor growls, "And you've got your head up your... you're a damn fool to bring this woman. How gullible are you?"

Marlena surfs and reads about Charlotte.

Meanwhile, Charlotte conducts her session as John sees the love of his life. Then he flashes back to a time when he and Marlena were locked up. It's the only way Marlena could get him to stay around her.

Back at the party people stand around murmuring and chuckling. Out in the audience, people sit around snoring. Daniel flashes back to his little session with Chloe as we pan across the room and see Lucas standing beside her half-asleep on her shoulder. No one can stay awake through this misery. Kate asks Daniel where he was, "I just assumed you were called back to the hospital. What made you come back?"

"There was more misery and suffering here," says Daniel.

John remains under and screams, "I can't let her die!"

A gal in the audience yells, "Yes you can!"

Charlotte wakes him up. Another gal in the audience yells, "Hey, what about us? Someone needs to wake us up, too."

Charlotte asks, "What do you remember?"

Victor, EJ and Nicole continue to trade insults. Victor tells EJ, "You're not just an idiot, you're a damn masochist."

EJ says, "You are such a miserable wretch."

Victor growls, "You don't know what misery is, EJ. But, trust me, you will."

Back inside, Daniel gets dramatic (a rare event on this show), "There is something I need to say."

Chloe says, "Please, Daniel, don't."

EJ and Nicole follow Victor in as Daniel toasts Chloe and Lucas, "May your choices always be the right ones and may you forever be happy with them." You didn't think he was going to spill the beans about Chloe and him, did you? Come on, that would have actually moved things along. We can't have that.

Marlena gets a phone number from the Internet, calls and asks for more info on Charlotte.

"I don't remember anything," says John, "It's that same feeling you get after watching DOOL."

Stephanie and Phillip watch Chloe and Lucas smooch and decide they will be happy together.

Kate comes up to Chloe and Lucas and asks, "Did you pick out a dress for the wedding yet?"

"No," says Lucas, "but Chloe has."

Victor decides to keep up the verbal shelling, "Well, we know one thing... Chloe's dress won't be white!" He advises Lucas to put off the wedding as long as possible, "Wait until you can see past the physical into the empty soul and then run like hell." Victor leaves. Lucas gets a call from Maggie and goes off to take it.

Nicole comes up to Chloe and asks what's making her miserable. "I think I made a huge mistake," says Chloe, "Green isn't my color."

Lucas gets off the phone and chats with EJ. They discuss Victor's insults. Lucas says EJ might want to pay attention to Victor where Nicole is concerned, "She's never satisfied."

EJ's macho hackles are up, "She might not have been with you but with me she's well taken care of. He leans in and whispers, "We even did it once. I'm such a tiger."

Chloe tells Nicole she doesn't want to hurt Lucas. Daniel interrupts and asks for a word with Chloe.

John thinks the session was a bust and figures Charlotte is trying to let him down easy. She tells him things will take time and encourages him not to give up.

Chloe refuses to talk to Daniel and walks off. Daniel zones. Nicole brings him back to earth and they chat about her baby. Daniel suspects all is not right with Nicole.

Chelsea tries to talk Kate into pouting about Daniel. Chelsea insists she still does not have feelings for Daniel. Kate asks, "Because you moved on with Max?"

A gal in the audience turns to the person next to her, "She probably doesn't have feelings because she's watching this episode and she's gone numb."

Max asks Lucas about a bachelor party. "No strippers," says Lucas.

"Where is the real Lucas Horton," gasps Max, "Why wouldn't you want strippers at your bachelor party?"

"That might add some excitement to the show," says Lucas, "And we certainly wouldn't want to do that. Besides, you'll understand someday. The day will come when you only want to spent time with Chelsea."

Max denies they are a couple, "I don't know... No... We're just hanging out. We're just friends."

Lucas says, "You make a cute couple."

Phillip congratulates Chloe. Stephanie watches. Daniel watches. Millions of viewers around the country don't.

Out in the hallway of her office, Charlotte continues to try to convince John to give the sessions a chance. John holds out a ticket, "Can I get my parking validated?"

Chelsea tells Kate, "Max and I are strictly platonic."

Kate says, "So that means there is nothing physical about your relationship."

"No," says Chelsea, "That means we're moving very slowly, like those platonic plates that are under the ocean."

Daniel and Nicole stroll across the room and talk. Nicole insists everything is just peachy with her pregnancy. Daniel asks about her doctor. Nicole accidentally on purpose drops her plate of hors o'dourves and evades the question. She and EJ decide it's time to leave. EJ goes for the coats as Nicole gets a call from Mia. Mia says she needs to talk to Nicole about the baby.

Phillip and Stephanie are back at Titan. Phillip desperately searches for a disc he needs for a presentation. Stephanie finds it, but refuses to give it to him until he promises for the entire week he will not work past 7PM. She wants him to make time for something other than work. Phillip moves in and makes time for other things.

Chelsea and Max leave. Chloe thanks Kate for the party.

Victor continues his grousing, "Dreadful party, isn't it?"

"No," says Daniel.

Victor pops an hors o'dourve, "What? Are you enjoying all the sniping, awkwardness and tasteless canapé?

"No," says Daniel, "Just the tasteless dialogue. But I think you're underestimating Chloe."

Victor keeps it up, "Chloe has jumped into bed with half of Salem."

"Unfortunately," says Daniel, "I'm in the other half."

"And all Lucas does," says Victor, "is keep going after for women with big bazoons. Well... I guess he did make an exception for Nicole."

Daniel tells him not to talk about Chloe that way. He reminds him Chloe saved Kate's life, "Your contempt for her cheapens you."

John comes into the pub and joins Marlena. He tells her the hypnotherapy session was a bust and says he wants out, "I'm not in this for the joy of being shrunk." Marlena apologizes for pushing him.

Max and Chelsea come into the pub. They continue to dance around their relationship. Max asks if she's going for Daniel now that he's free again. Chelsea gets annoyed because Max has already asked her about that. She claims to have zero interest in Daniel, "And why do you care?" Max chuckles.

Phillip tells Stephanie he doesn't have feelings for Chloe any more, "Someone else has come into my life who is incredibly sexy."

Stephanie says, "Sexually harassing an employee. You're just begging for trouble."

"You're right," says Phillip, "We can't do this."

Mia and Nicole agree to meet. EJ brings her coat and overhears, "Who's Mia?"

Victor growls, "Chloe's a user! I don't care if she gave her bone marrow to everyone in the Midwest!"

"Maybe she did," says Daniel, "That would explain the STD epidemic. But you owe Chloe a little respect."

Kate and Chloe chat about Nicole . Chloe can't believe how forgiving Kate is. Hugs. Daniel walks in.

Stephanie claims she was just making a joke. Phillip says, "Yeah, but you can never be too safe with loose-lips Melanie around." He doesn't think they should work together any more.

Marlena tells John about Charlotte and all the awards she's won, "She's a keeper."

John comes out of left field, "Does that men you're giving me permission to date her."

Max says, "Now that you and Kate have both dropped Daniel, maybe the two of you can go pick up guys together."

Nicole tells EJ Mia is someone she met at the doctor's office. Mia found her bracelet so Nicole thought she'd go pick it up. EJ offers to go with her.

Chloe has something to tell Lucas. People in the audience sit on the edge of their seats waiting to hear what that will be.

Chelsea and Max talk about how great it is not to be in a relationship. The new bar-wench Michelle takes their order. Max order for Chelsea. She orders for him.

"You guys are telepathic," says Michelle, "You're such a cool couple!"

Gee, Marlena doesn't want John to date Charlotte.

Stephanie stops just short of groveling, "If it's you or Titan, I can quit."

"Think of all the college credits you will miss out on if you quit," says Phillip, "We need you here. This whole big multinational corporation would collapse without you as a lame temporary intern."

Stephanie pouts, "If you want to break up just say so."

EJ and Nicole get back to the DiMera mansion. He wants to know why she insists on going to see Mia alone. Nicole gives him her "I'm a big girl" speech. EJ grabs the car keys and goes upstairs. Nicole calls Mia and says she can't make it. Mia offers to come to her. "That's a terrible idea," says Nicole.

Chloe's big announcement to Lucas is to tell him she doesn't deserve all this. Lucas gets sucked in to her whiny little trap, "You're part of the family now. It will be like this for all the Days Of Our Lives. You're the only person I want to be with. I Want to be here with you and no one else. I've never felt that way about anyone else." Smoochies. He goes for the car.

Out in the audience, the Lumi's break out the cyanide capsules.

Chloe turns and stares in the mirror. Daniel comes up behind her, "That's a nice act you put on."

Phillip insists they aren't breaking up but says he needs to reassign her. "You think it's funny watching me squirm, don't you," asks Stephanie.

"I think it's sexy watching you squirm," says Phillip, "Just about anything you do is sexy." He moves in.

Mia thinks Nicole is ashamed of her. Nicole says that isn't it. She suggests getting together tomorrow. "Under one condition," says Mia, "Bring your fiancée."

Max and Chelsea wonder why everyone thinks they are a couple.

Marlena asks John not to give up. John agrees to one more session. He leaves as Marlena gets a call. She asks, "Do you know why Dr. Taylor left Minneapolis? It does seem odd doesn't it?"

Charlotte watches the tape of the session and listens as John says, "The love of my life is Marlena."

Daniel tells Chloe what happened earlier was more than physical, "I'm not through, Chloe. Not by a long shot." Daniel leaves. Chloe stares.

The audience runs out for a double-caffeinated mocha latte.


Previews
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