If It Looks Like Mud...
I'm afraid there isn't much to report in the way of a satellite update this week since Norris won't be over to install our equipment until Monday. We're pretty sure he'll make it because he's in jail. After he hauled in his sixth straight state cow chip hurling championship, he decided to go for the double and pulled out all the stops to be named the Winos Gone Wild Wildest Wino for 2008.
It turns out the wild stunt he pulled to put himself over the top in the contest wasn't against the WGWWW rules, but unfortunately, it was illegal. I mean, who knew that filling the mud volleyball pit with cow manure would be considered assault?
We're a small town and the WGW mud volleyball tournament is one of our most popular events of the year. Everyone in town had at least one family member in that pit and when they found out what Norris had done, there wasn't a whole lot of sympathy for him. So now, no one will bail him out.
That would have been OK, because Norris, being the local satellite technician hauls in more money than our local Lehman Brothers representative who qualifies for a large chunk of the government bailout. So although no one in town will bail him out, Norris should have been home free except for the unfortunate fact that his wife was playing on one of the teams. At the start of the game, she slipped and gave the term "in deep ca-ca" new meaning. Now she's so mad she won't bail Norris out either or let him anywhere near his money, which she figures will be hers once the divorce is final.
So my strategy is to let him sit in jail until Monday morning when he's supposed to come over to the Prevuze compound and look at the satellite dish. I'll bail him out right before he's supposed to come over here and since that's early enough in the morning that the bars won't be open yet, my guess is he'll make it this time.
It turns out the wild stunt he pulled to put himself over the top in the contest wasn't against the WGWWW rules, but unfortunately, it was illegal. I mean, who knew that filling the mud volleyball pit with cow manure would be considered assault?
We're a small town and the WGW mud volleyball tournament is one of our most popular events of the year. Everyone in town had at least one family member in that pit and when they found out what Norris had done, there wasn't a whole lot of sympathy for him. So now, no one will bail him out.
That would have been OK, because Norris, being the local satellite technician hauls in more money than our local Lehman Brothers representative who qualifies for a large chunk of the government bailout. So although no one in town will bail him out, Norris should have been home free except for the unfortunate fact that his wife was playing on one of the teams. At the start of the game, she slipped and gave the term "in deep ca-ca" new meaning. Now she's so mad she won't bail Norris out either or let him anywhere near his money, which she figures will be hers once the divorce is final.
So my strategy is to let him sit in jail until Monday morning when he's supposed to come over to the Prevuze compound and look at the satellite dish. I'll bail him out right before he's supposed to come over here and since that's early enough in the morning that the bars won't be open yet, my guess is he'll make it this time.
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9 Comments:
ROFLMAO at the whole post this morning!!
I know Prevuze would never stoop to the level of juvenile bathroom humor. You're just reporting the facts, right? The facts surrounding Norris' predicament just happen to be hilarious.
And Trent's last words according to his autopsy.....that was the topper!!
I know Prevuze would never stoop to the level of juvenile bathroom humor.
Never. Juvenile voleyball manure pit humor... maybe.
Please bail Norris out if jail Monday morning. After he installs the new satellite, treat him to some 'yellow snow'.
Thanks for all you do.
Cookie
Yes, thank you for the Saturday chuckles. I did read this early this morning but had to rush out without commenting.
Do you think maybe Norris has reached his current state by watching DOOL? We all need to find out before we end up in the same condition.
I can't wait to find out what happens when he shows up. One question - when the new equipment is installed will this eliminate the deadly line/tree situation? I wouldn't let him leave before he fixes that as well.
Happy rest of the weekend all!
One question - when the new equipment is installed will this eliminate the deadly line/tree situation?
Bulldog took the question right out of my mouth...
LOL I wasn't online all day but this afternoon I thought, the first thing I'm looking at when I get home is the Prevuze Norris update. "He's in jail" - too funny. Sounds like a lot of my repairmen.
One question - when the new equipment is installed will this eliminate the deadly line/tree situation?
A good samaritan eliminated, or at least alleviated the deadly line/tree situation. Now, instead of the tree leaning precariously against the line, the line lies slack at the base of the tree so that if the tree falls it should not harm the line.
If Norris finds there is a break in the line or has to replace it for some other reason, we will definitely have him string it behind the offending tree.
If Norris finds there is a break in the line or has to replace it for some other reason, we will definitely have him string it behind the offending tree.
Just make sure he gets the job done before the bars open!! LOLOL
LOL Bulldog's photochops!!!
With Commissioner Bo, on the Trent case, at least we knew he would lose some of the evidence and get Caroline off. I dread if "Never-won-a-case" Mickey is handling Caroline's defense the SPD might(shock) actually to have to solve the case.
Poor PREVUZE! Good luck with Norris (you'll probably need it).
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