You're Not Horrible, Just Screwed Up

Mad Max and the Thunderbroom work outside the pub. Max-is-jus-so-peeved and he SWATS at that stinkin' ole dirt. Lo'dhamercy. That dirt will never get in Max' way again. Melanie comes up to him and tells him she knows how he feels. She's been at the controls of a Thunderbroom herself. Max thinks his father is a low life swine. Melanie can't get used to being around Trent. She needs to get out of Salem. Max refuses to let her go.

Nick joins Chelsea in the pub. She thinks she's clueless when it comes to men. Nick wants to know why she's narrowing her cluelessness so much. He offers to listen to her tale of woe. She tells him about Kate's health problems. Nick had no idea STDs could affect the lungs. Chelsea thinks something is still going on between Danny and Granny, and she can't find it in her heart to forgive them. Nick plays Dr. Phil. She thinks she's lucky to have him but then realizes she really doesn't. Chelsea says she doesn't get what he's doing with Melanie. Things fall apart. Chelsea disses herself in a desperate and pathetic attempt for sympathy. "You're not horrible," says Nick, "Just screwed up."

"You really know how to sweep a girl off her feet," says the brat.

He says if he's interested in Melanie, that's his business. Chelsea doesn't trust Melanie and doesn't think Nick should.

Phillip and Lucas are at dinner at Chez Rouge. Phillip welcomes Lucas back to Titan. Lucas tells him Chloe is babysitting as Chloe waltzes in and sits down with them. Nicole joins the crowd as Lucas gets all bent out of shape when Chloe tells him she's hired a babysitter. Lucas takes off as Nicole tells Phillip she needs his help. Lucas comes back and says he talked to the babysitter and all is well. He and Chloe get into it and she huffs off. Nicole follows. Phillip says he thinks Lucas was a little hard on Chloe. Lucas gets defensive but says he will apologize.

Over at the bar, Chloe and Nicole rant about Lucas. "I'm not ready for the whole 'family' thing," says Chloe, "At least, not until my scars heal." She says she's starting to feel trapped. Chloe doesn't think she's cut out to be a mom. Nicole is glad she can't have kids. Lucas interrupts and apologizes for blowing up at Chloe. He asks her to dance. Chloe heads for the dance floor. "I meant on the table," says Lucas. As they dance Lucas says he likes having her in his world.

Meanwhile Phillip and Nicole talk. She tells him she's ruined if Victor doesn't honor their divorce settlement. Phillip says Victor won't budge on this. Nicole thinks Trent doesn't deserve to live. If she had the means she'd kill him herself. Lucas goes back to the cabin. Nicole leaves, too. Phillip toasts getting what they want. Chloe wonders if Phillip knows what he wants. He wonders if she does.

Nicole calls EJ for help.

Roman works on a cold case. Bo says Hope thinks Roman is judging her for not taking the commissioner's job. Roman says he'll give up his career before he'll work for some corrupt SOB, "Stupid, yes, corrupt, no." He goes back to suggesting Bo take the job. Roman really pours it on. He calls the mayor's office to recommend Bo. Roman hangs up and works on Bo some more. "In other words says Bo, "You want me to take one for the team." Caroline comes in and says she's worried sick about Max. Bo assures her Max won't go after Trent. Caroline reminds him Max is impulsive just like Bo. Bo didn't realize they were in that much trouble. Roman agrees to call Max and talk. He says he'll take Max to dinner. Bo will go too. Caroline says that's not good enough. She says they have to get Trent to leave Salem. Bo and Roman think their hands are tied. Caroline snaps, "Well, mine aren't."

Ho'livia sslloowwllyy slides her hand up her leg and straightens her stocking. Trent announces, "...and a good time was had by all." One out of two ain't bad. He smooches her and then drops cash into her Wonderbrasitory. Maybe it's a tip. Two things don't survive in this crazy world: teams that don't make their free throws and hookers who don't have a pay before play policy. Trent escorts Ho'livia to the door and cops one last feel, "Keep it warm for me." As she leaves he gets a call from Claude who says Trent is trying his patience. Claude either wants the money Trent owes him or Melanie. Trent wonders how he can get the money. He figures he just CAN'T hand Melanie over but after two seconds of thoughtful reconsidering, decides he has no choice.

Melanie gets a text from Trent saying he wants to see her. Melanie doesn't want to go but Max is all for it. Max and Melanie arrive and Trent tells them he's in bad trouble. Claude has resurfaced. Trent thinks if Melanie doesn't go clean up his mess he's a dead man. Sarcastic Max is heartbroken. Trent plays the daddy card with Max. He says he feels a connection. Max doesn't. Trent takes the daddy card back from Max and plays it on Melanie. He begs her to help. Max tells him to leave her alone. Melanie starts to buy his line and Max steps in. Melanie makes a call as Max goes off the deep end.

POW! WHAP-WHAP-WHAP! WHAP-WHAP-WHAP! WHAP-WHAP-WHAP!

Max and Trent roll around as Max beats the crap out of him. Chelsea and Nick run in out of the wild blue yonder and stop him. Nick says he has cash. He says he will give Trent the grant money. Trent doesn't want the grant money. He wants Melanie to help him. Melanie explodes. Trent says both his children are losers. Max takes Melanie out as Trent loses all control.

Outside Max assures her Trent is as good as gone, "In one way or another he's leaving Salem tonight."

Previews
========

You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website. Prevuze II should be up no later than noon, Eastern Time.