IMBECILE!

Kayla, Patch, Bo, Hope and Roman are all gathered at the pub. Kayla asks, "Sami is marrying EJ tonight?"

Roman asks, "Without letting me know? Tell me you're not serious. What's the big hurry?"

"Ask EJ," says Hope.

"What about her mom," asks Roman, "Dealing with this after John's death... Marlena is gonna lose it."

Patch supposes Lucas isn't too happy either. Hope says Lucas wants an intervention. Patch points out they've already tried that several times. Hope says they have to try it again. Everyone agrees. Patch asks where Lucas is.

Bo says, "It's killing him he can't be here."

"We should be so lucky," says Patch. Roman explodes; Patch tries to calm him down.

Lucas leans over the crib and talks to Johnny D and ________. He says he's watching them tonight while his wife gets married. Sami comes out dressed in black. Lucas thinks she looks like she's going to a funeral. Sami says it feels like she is. She says she hates this as much as he does. Lucas agrees it's awful, "But it's OK, because I get one last night alone with Johnny D and _________."

Sami tries to encourage him. She reminds him they'll be just down the hall from each other. Lucas drones, "If you do this... Our future is over... forever."

Stefano and EJ come downstairs as Stefano praises him. EJ carries the DiMera mantle and cannot let Sami interfere once they are married.
Kate storms in ranting. She gets in Stefano's face, "You betrayed me! You and your lying son!"

EJ tries to back her off, "Can we do this later? I mean I really don't have time right now".

Kate whips out a gun, "YOU MAKE TIME!" Stefano rolls his eyes.

Hope has Roman sit down and take a deep breath. Bo tells him Sami will just dig in her heels if they try to stop her. Roman argues. Hope says, "Sami has never felt she measured up to Carrie and Belle and this is her way of attempting to lower herself to their level." The group thinks Roman is the only person who can convince Sami to change her mind.

Roman agrees, "If Plan A doesn't work, though, I'm switching to Plan 9 From Salem: Shooting EJ dead."

Kate has a meltdown, "We had a deal!" EJ takes the gun and tells her it was a stellar performance when she faked her own attack. Kate is upset EJ stabbed her in the back.

Stefano says when Lucas came to him and accused him of attempting to kill Kate, he merely defended himself. He did not know the two of them faked the shooting, "And I will tell you, Lucas saw the truth immediately."

Kate tells EJ he's not off the hook. EJ says Lucas told him Kate had already admitted everything.

"HE TRICKED YOU, IMBECILE!"

Stefano supposes Lucas is more clever than he thought. Kate is upset over her disownification. She thinks it's forever this time. Stefano says the bonds between a mother and son are difficult to break.

"Lucas breaks them regularly," says Kate.

Sami gives Lucas baby instructions, I've left the bottles over here and don't forget to burp them."

"How do you burp a bottle," asks Lucas.

Will shows up, "I thought you would be gone by now. You're really doing this?"

Sami says she thought he understood. Will says he did, but he changed his mind. Lucas says she's doing this for her family. Will says he understood that, too, but then he woke up, "There is nothing cool about this." Sami makes her case, running through the litany of reasons we've all heard so many times before.

"That's whacked," says will.

Lucas tells him not to give his mother grief. "Don't worry," he growls, "I'm outta here. I wanna go back to Aunt Carrie and Uncle Austin. I can't stay here."

"We'll talk about this after," says Lucas.

"After will be too late," snorts Will as he turns and storms out.

"What happened," cries Sami, "I thought he understood."

"So did I," says Lucas, "But he's young. At least he has an excuse. We don't." Sami thanks him for defending her. Lucas says nothing has changed. He just didn't want Will to freak out. Sami asks him to convince Will not to leave. Lucas says he won't try. He thinks Will should be with Carrie and Austin right now. Sami gathers her things and says she has to go.

Lucas gives it one more shot, "Sami, please don't. Please."

"I'm sorry." She removes her wedding ring, lays it on the table, wades through the tears and heads out the door.

EJ says, "I have to go."

"First door at the top of the stairs," says Stefano. He gives EJ one more piece of advice as he leaves, "Remember, Samantha is lucky to have you and don't ever forget it."

Before EJ can go, Kate asks if he forgot something. She wants the gun back. EJ thinks he should hang onto it. Kate says there is no need because she has calmed down. EJ unloads it and gives it back to her, "Cheer up. You're not losing a daughter-in-law, you're gaining a son." We all sit dumbfounded as we try to figure out the genealogy behind that one. And if it's true, does that make EJ a... Let's not go there.

EJ leaves. Stefano says when Lucas realizes this is real he will see how foolish he has been.

"My son is nobody's fool," says Kate.

"Then there must be a lot of nobodys in Salem," says Stefano.

Stefano tells her to let Lucas figure all this out for himself. Today is a dark day for him and Kate should show sympathy to help heal the wounds.

Sami lights a candle and prays, "God, you're probably not super happy with me right now. Marriage is a blessed sacrament, and I'm not exactly honoring that."

In your case," says God, "Quantity makes up for quality."

Sami's prayer continues, "I don't know what else to do. I want to end the vendetta, the suffering. But how do I walk away from Lucas and Will? What if the twins end up being raised apart? What if I'm causing more harm than good? How do I know I'm doing the right thing?"

Colleen, of course, has the answer, "Ya already know. Don' be askin' what yer doin' – but why."

Sami snorts, "I am not doing this to be with EJ!"

"I ne'er thought I wanted Santo fer a saintly rison," says Colleen, "I could be who I was wit' him. I was far from a saint. Santo saw da trut' n'accepted the real me. That was my undoing just as it will be fer ya. Yer heart may belong to Lucas but the rest of you will be livin' with EJ. 'Tis bound to happ'n some dark night wit'da wind-a-whippin' outside. Ye'll be hearin' tings and seeing tings that aren't there. And ye'll find yarself in his room."

"NEVER!"

"Face yer darkest desires."

"I don't want to hear any more!"

EJ comes in and asks whom she is talking to. Sami tells him no one.

Patch suggests deporting EJ. Kayla thinks it's not that simple. Bo says the DiMeras are here legally. Hope says the only hope is to get Sami to change her mind, so the posse heads for Dry Gulch. As they leave, Roman tells Bo he's not joking when he talks about shooting EJ. Bo leaves. Roman checks his gun.

EJ tells Sami she looks beautiful, "In Spain brides wear black as a sign of devotion until death." Sami thinks it's good they aren't in Spain. EJ says he knows she loves Lucas, and even now she is free to return to him.

"As soon as my family is safe there is nothing you could do to stop me," says Sami, "Right now, let's do this."

We pan back from a picture of Sami and EJ on the table beside Lucas. He answers a knock at the door. Kate. She came to apologize. Apology not accepted. Kate begs. Lucas rejects. Kate asks what she can do to make it up to him. "Stop the wedding," says Lucas.

EJ again tells Sami she doesn't have to do this. Sami doesn't know what to do. She says she needs air, and runs out. As she busts through the door, she runs smack-dab into the posse. Roman stops her, "Sami, we need to talk."

Kate tells Lucas he is asking her to do the impossible. She says Sami has never listened to her. Lucas suggests talking to EJ since they are close. Kate claims they are not.

"You want me back in your life," growls Lucas, "Stop the damned wedding." SLAM! Rejected Kate stands outside, takes the gun out of her purse and fondles it. She turns to go.

Roman forbids Sami to marry EJ. Bo tells her if she goes through with it, she will be putting them all in more danger, not less. Hope, Patch and Kayla all take a shot. Whirling, swirling, out of focus Cinema Crapité effects surround us as Sami tries to cope. It proves to be too much for her. She collapses.

Stefano tells EJ he knows Sami's family will try to talk her out of it. EJ says they will not succeed. He thinks this has worked perfectly. He gets to be there for her when she goes through this, "I get to win her trust."

Stefano adds, "And her obedience."

"Of course."

Lucas talks to the sleeping Johnny D and _________. He says he will always be there for them. Another knock interrupts his soliloquy, "I hope that's the babysitter and not another visit from the wicked grandmother."

Emily the babysitter comes in and introduces herself. Lucas does likewise and Emily says she thinks the kids are adorable, "What are their names? "

"Mind your own business," says Lucas. Em goes to wash her hands. Lucas sneaks over and gets a locked box from the bureau. He unlocks it and pulls out a pistol, then puts the gun back in the box and puts the box in the drawer. He hides the key behind the bureau, looks in the mirror and walks off.

Sami insists she is fine. Roman insists she isn't. Sami says she wants their support. Roman tells her she has to choose if she is a Brady or a DiMera. Sami tells them her mind is made up. Roman tries one more time, "You have to choose – one or the other."

"In that case," says Sami, "I choose EJ." She turns and walks off. Roman imitates a pretzel with his face.

Back in the sanctuary, Sami huffs past EJ and goes to get ready. We hear a lot of slamming and banging.

The posse walks out of the church. Bo tells Roman, "We did our best."

"Now it's up to me," says Roman.

The crew tries to encourage Roman. Roman tells them it's not over. Back at the pub, Roman pours a drink. Bo tells him that's not the way to help, "Sami is counting on you."

"I won't let her down," vows Roman.

Bo sees where this is going, "Give me your weapon."

Patch tells Kayla he has to make a few stops on the way home. Kayla asks, "Is one of those stops the church?"

"I've finally got my life back," says Patch, "I wouldn't ruin that for anything." Translation: Relationship Ruin looms.

Roman is just a little too cooperative. He hands his gun to Bo, "If this will make you feel better, knock yourself out."

Bo slams the gun into his own head. "Geez," says Roman, "I didn't mean it literally."

After Roman leaves, Hope thanks Bo for doing that, "I've never seen Roman like this. This week, anyway."

"Me neither," says Bo, "He's really on the edge."

Outside, Roman stops, pulls another gun out of his sock and inspects it.

EJ and Stefano stand in the sanctuary. A woman in black comes in and sits down in the back pew. EJ wonders who she is. Stefano tells him not to worry about her, "In Italy you see them all the time in churches."

EJ turns back around and sees she's gone, "Where did she go?"

"Good riddance," says Stefano.

Bridal music plays. Sami passes TWIB and marches down the aisle. TWIB works her hand inside her sinister black glove. Guns, guns, guns from every corner of the sanctuary. Sami stands at the altar.

Analysts have determined the writers' strike will have absolutely no effect on DOOL viewers, due to the fact that all DOOL scripts are recycled anyway.

Previews
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You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.