Blubber Butt

Shawn and Phillip are in the pub arguing. For some strange reason no competent person can figure out, they both want bipolar Belle.

Shawn lays down the law to Phillip, "Leave Belle alone. She's off limits to you."

"Not for long," growls Phillip.

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Phillip smirks, "She's miserable. Maybe if you paid attention you'd realize that." Shawn tells him to get out.

Phillip claims he is the one who makes Belle happy, "So what are you gonna do about it?"

Shawn says he doesn't have to do a damn thing. He claims Belle loves him and will marry him, "I'm done with you."

Phillip says, "No. Belle is done with you."

Hope wants the juicy details. Belle stammers and tries to deflect the questioning. Hope runs through the evidence, "You're wearing a robe. You're crying. The sheets are ripped off the bed. The vase is broken. The flashing neon sign outside the door says, "Belle and Phillip's love nest." The truth is written all over your face. You didn't just cheat on Shawn? You didn't just have sex here in this room with Phillip?" Ciara becomes uncomfortable with the line of questioning.

Sami is asleep in the bed in her hospital room. Lucas kisses her and inspects the twins. After looking into their eyes he can see they aren't strangers. They're everyone they've ever loved, "You're everybody all wrapped up into two little bundles of joy." He hopes they don't have too much of their old man in there, though; Just their mommy, "One more thing, your daddy loves you... already." Fortunately, seats in the audience have been equipped with barf bags.

Bo and Abe walk into the hallway of a seedy apartment building. Bo can't wait to get his hands on this guy. He and Abe knock and Roman answers. Harry Jenks sits there in a chair demanding his rights, "I don' know what youse guys want. I keeps my nose clean."

Bo asks who hired him to run over John. Harry snorts, "I ain't sayin' nothin' until I see my lawyer."

Abe takes a phone out, "Send a squad car over to pick up EJ Wells. We have a guy here claiming neither he nor EJ had anything to do with John's death. That's enough evidence for me to put them both away for life."

"Besides," says Harry, "Youse guys don't have no search warrant."

"A what," asks Bo.

"I think it's that thing in your pocket you made out your grocery list on earlier," says Abe.

Bo pulls it out and shows it to him, "But give it back to me. Hope will kill me if I forget to pick those things up at the store. You're going to jail."

Abe gets off the phone, "His real name is Jake Hinero. He just got out of prison for writing for DOOL."

The cop shows up at the door with EJ. We go through the perfunctory amenities and then EJ gives Jake a quizzical look.

Sami sleeps. Lucas picks up the fussy little girl. He flashes forward to 2013. He's in the pub with the girl. Sami and EJ come in. Johnny just won his first dressage competition. The girl begs for a horse. Lucas says he can't afford one. He reminds her she got violin lessons instead. "Oh," says Sami, "Is she studying with Jonathan Martin also?"

"Who is that," asks Lucas.

"He's the first-chair violinist with the Cleveland Symphony. Our little John is taking lessons from him."

"Oh," says Lucas, "No. She's taking lessons from her school music teacher." It's been wonderful, but they have to rush to get little Johnny to his fencing lessons. Sami follows EJ, and on the way out, gives Lucas a pitiful look.

The little girl lays into Lucas, "Why does Johnny get everything, and I don't. I HATE YOU!"

Phillip says Shawn hasn't even decided what he wants to be when he grows up. Fortunately, Shawn has a lot of time to think about it. Phillip says he knows how Belle really feels, "I just inspected her."

Hope grills. Belle denies. "Were you trying to get caught," yells Hope, "I have to go talk to Shawn.

Belle blubbers, "No! You can't!"

"I want the truth now," snaps Hope, "And I want it out of your mouth."

Belle weeps, "I'm sorry. I don't know how it happened. Please don't hate me. It's not an affair. I was vulnerable.

Hope won't let her use John's death as an excuse. She backs the little tramp into a corner and slices her to ribbons.

Shawn says whatever Phillip and Belle had is over. Not surprisingly, Phillip doesn't think so. Shawn says, "You're never having Belle in your life or bed again."

Phillip throws down the gauntlet, "Who says she isn't already there?"

ARE YOU READY TO RRRUUUMMMBBBLLLLEEE? Shawn throws a roundhouse right and the melee is on. This is a good one. They take turns breaking furniture over each other's head. Shawn picks up a spray can and gives Phillip an eyeful. As they roll across the floor, the pub comes crashing down around them.

Lucas says he doesn't care if his kid isn't a prodigy as long as they don't inherit something from him. Coincidentally, scientists just recently isolated the pranksterism gene.

Lucas fast-forwards several years as Preppy John and his nauseating friends walk into the pub. The amorphous blob that the little girl has become sits at the bar crying in her beer. One of the snot-boys asks John, "Isn't that your sister?"

John corrects him, "She's my half sister."

"She doesn't look anything like you," says another one of the Preppies.

"She doesn't look like anything to me," says another.

Preppy number one shouts, "Hey, Blubber Butt, do you know why God invented alcohol? So fat chicks can get laid too."

The preppies decide to blow this dump, "This place is for losers."

Blubber Butt cries.

Lucas snaps out of it, "No. It isn't going to be like that. You won't make the same mistakes I did."

EJ claims he has never seen this guy before.

"Yeah," mumbles Jake, "I don't hang around with pretty boys." The NASCAR poster in the background proves it. Well, that does it for the Salem cops. They haul EJ down there to have him and Jake say they don't know each other and they let EJ go. That is some fine police work.

After EJ leaves, Roman says, "It's looking like the DiMeras didn't have anything to do with John's death. Case closed. Let's head for that Donut Emporium around the corner."

Well, not so fast. Abe gets off the phone with a new piece of information. He has discovered Andre's cellmate in jail was none other than Jake. Not only that, Roman presses random buttons on Jake's phone and finds a speed dial to Andre. Abe grabs Jake and reads him his rights as he hauls him off.

"There it is," says Bo, "Black and white – The DiMeras put the hit out on John. What are you going to tell Sami?"

"Nothing," says Roman. Bo thinks she has a right to know. Roman has to go see the new babies but he vows not to break her heart today.

Lucas sits by Sami, "I'll do everything I can to protect my kid, but what about when I'm not around any more?"

Blubber Butt walks up to a pair of tombstones. Lucas Horton. Samantha Wells DiMera. John the snot joins her, "It's a pity they died so young."

"My father died of a broken heart," she blubs.

Johnny taunts, "And you will die of cirrhosis of the liver."

"I never stopped loving my dad."

"That was your mistake."

Blubber Butt grovels, "Could you lend me a little money?"

Johnny Boy tosses a couple of large bills onto the ground, "There... so you can die a little quicker." Blubber Butt blubbers.

Lucas stares.

Shawn and Phillip tear the pub apart. Phillip slams Shawn's head onto the bar over and over again. Caroline comes running out, "STOP! STOP! That bar is expensive mahogany! " She runs after Phillip with a shillelagh, "Knock it off! Get out of here!"

On his way out, Phillip tosses a wad-o-cash onto one of the few tables left and tells Caroline that will cover the damages.

Caroline grabs Shawn and picks up where Phillip left off. Shawn promises to clean things up and leaves. Caroline rages. She calls Bo, "You'd better get down here! Shawn needs you!"

Belle claims she hasn't been chasing Phillip. She never meant to hurt Shawn. She wishes she could take the moment back. She was confused and Phillip was there. Hope says her heart breaks for Belle's loss but she won't accept her using that for a reason to cheat, "How could you?" The water works flows.

Belle agrees – What she did was horrible, but she swears it will never happen again. Hope says her instincts say he should tell Shawn the truth. Belle insists Shawn is her life. If she loses him she couldn't take it, "I need him."

Hope relents, "All right. I'll keep your secret. And hold it over your head forever."

Belle sniffles, "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet," says Hope, "There is one condition. You cut Phillip out of your life completely."

Shawn uses a wet-vac to clean up the blood. Bo comes in, "How many times have I told you, if you wanna fight you take it outside." Technically, the way they tore up the pub, they are outside at the moment. Shawn tells Bo what Phillip said about Belle.

Bo snorts, "What is he? freaking crazy?" He realizes he just wasted precious breath. Bo says he talked to the commander. Apparently he got a letter questioning Shawn's worth as an applicant. Shawn thinks Phillip must have sent it.

Sami wakes. "How do you feel," asks Lucas.

"I feel like I got sucker punched by a Mack truck," says Sami. Roman comes in. He has seen the kids and thinks they are gorgeous. He hands Sami a couple of teddy bears the size of live grizzlies. She tells Roman about EJ's new demand for DNA tests. Sami senses something is wrong with Roman. He says he's just shocked the idea of having tests came up again.

Sami asks about the killer. Roman says they are running down some leads. He tells her to rest and not worry about EJ, and then leaves.

EJ looks at the twins in the nursery and smiles.

A nurse walks up, "Which one is yours?"

"Does it matter," asks EJ, "They are both perfect. So full of promise."

The nurse points at the boy, "He looks like he must be yours. I think he's full of something else."

Lucas thinks Roman acted strange. Sami thought he was more upset about the DNA tests than he should have been. Lucas thinks EJ wants to sink his hooks into Sami, "I want him away from us for all the Days Of Our Lives." He suggests leaving Salem for good. They have to stop the show and break for commercial because of all the cheering.

Bo advises Shawn to stop playing into Phillip's hands, "Trust the woman you love. Let Phillip spin his wheels. You do trust her don't you?"

The poor boy sighs, "Yeah I do."

Belle says Phillip is out of her life for good. She swears she won't let Hope down and thanks her for doing this. Hope says she isn't doing it for Belle. She is doing it for Shawn. If she suspects Belle is still seeing Phillip, she will tattle.

Hope grabs Ciara, "Let's go see daddy." Shawn knocks. He and Bo come in. Belle frets about the face wounds. Hope gives Belle a dirty look as she and Bo leave.

Shawn admires the new sheets. Belle admires his new face. Shawn asks, "Didn't you just change the sheets yesterday?"

"I got bored with them," says Belle.

Shawn knows something's up. Belle doesn't have a long enough memory to get bored with anything.

Lucas rants about EJ getting to their kids. He decides they will cross that bridge when they come to it. He says no matter what happens he will love Sami and their kids, "and will try to find a really good violin teacher for Blubber Butt." Smooch, hug.

As Belle cleans Shawn's face, he says this gives her good nursing practice. He says he just let Phillip get to him, and it won't happen again.

"That's right," says Belle, "Because he won't be around any more, except for those times he comes to visit his kid, which I am now pregnant with." Shawn asks when she decided all this. She says she just doesn't want to lose any one she loves any more. This is the best news Shawn has heard since she agreed to marry him, "Especially after what Phillip said."

"What was that," asks Belle.

"It doesn't matter," says Shawn, "I love you more than ever now. Things will be all right." Smooches.

Bo is upset the kids are off getting a bath, "How can they be dirty? They were just born."

They all just can't believe John is gone. "And his killer is trying to lay claim to our kids," says Lucas. Sami tells them about the new DNA tests. Somewhere in the interim, she has picked up a whole lot more information about the guy who hit John than she got from Roman. She asks about him, "Does he have any connection to the DiMeras?"

Bo doesn't want to talk about it, which, of course is his cue to ramble on, "He was Andre's cellmate."

"So killing John was a warning to me," says Sami. Lucas can't take it. He goes to check on the kids. Sami begs him to stay.

Lucas books. Bo chases.

Hope tells Sami she doesn't have to marry EJ. Sami claims she does.

EJ looks at the kids. He vows if one of them is his he will be the best father they could ask for, "You will be a DiMera like no other."

Hope again insists Sami doesn't have to marry EJ. Sami says she would rather spend an eternity making EJ miserable than go to another funeral.

Bo assures Lucas they will talk Sami out of marrying EJ. Lucas isn't going to let EJ ruin his family, "If he turns up dead, you know who to go after." If Lucas were any smarter he'd be a hammer.


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