I'm Gonna Barf

Connor and Bonnie come back in after digging the hole to bury Bones. Bonnie worries that Connor may not have dug deep enough. Connor claims he dug so deep he hit the Great Wall of China and goes in to clean up.

Mimi comes home, takes one look at Bonnie and asks when she took up mud wrestling. Connor comes back out and Mimi asks what they are up to. Bonnie gives a nervous chuckle.

Abby says she is going to remain a part time student. The brat tells her she's wasting her time with Max, "He's into Mimi now, literally. If we go to college full time we will have all the hot guys at Salem U after us."

"What about Dr. Shane Patton," asks Abby.

Billie stands outside with Nick. She assures him Chelsea will never find out about their little peccadillo. Nick asks if Billie thinks Chelsea would be hurt if she did find out. "No," says Billie, "I think she would be grossed out. You know how kids are."

"I'm not a kid," says Nick.

"No," says Billie, "I just think your first time should have been with someone different." Nick thinks his first time was just great.

Roman comes into Sami's apartment and tells them EJ is back. Roman has arrested him. He says EJ has friends who will clear his name and Sami is the one he mentioned.

EJ meets with Kate. He holds up his cuffed hands and asks Kate if the cuffs remind her of pleasant times gone by. Kate hauls off and whaps him one.

Billie tells Nick she is glad their night together was special, but tells him it wouldn't have happened if she weren't plastered. That night was a wake up call for her. Nick hopes that wasn't all it was. Billie vows not to tell anyone, "I think you're good for Chelsea – She enrolled in Salem U! You're a good influence."

"It's not me," says Nick, "It's Dr. Shane Patton."

Chelsea tells Abby it's over with Shane. But It's OK. She's going to make a big splash in the dating pool at Salem U. They argue about who is more mature and settle it with a ketchup bottle standoff. They sit across the table, each ready to fire. Abby says, "Put it down and I'll think about going full time."

Bonnie claims there is water in the basement, and she and Connor were down there working. It hasn't rained in a while and Mimi claims they are lying, "If you're going to lie get good at it. Watch Mom every time she opens her mouth. If that doesn't work, I'm putting on an advanced seminar at the college this semester."

Mimi goes into her room and comes right back out with a police sketch she found on the fax machine she just happens to have in there. It's a sketch of the guy who was at the morgue the night Bones was taken, "Take a look Connor. Does it look like anyone you know?"

Connor turns and looks into the mirror. He turns back, "Meems..."

"Don't 'Meems' me, Connor!"

Bonnie says, "You know, Connor looks like Matt Damon..."

"Mom, shut up," says Connor, "I didn't want to do it. She made me."

Mimi wonders what kind of a freak mother Bonnie must be, having her own son steal a bag of bones from the morgue. She holds the picture up to Connor and asks, "Is this really you?"

Connor whines, "I'm gonna barf."

Mimi asks, "Connor, what did she want with those bones?" Silence – something you don't often hear at the Lockhart household. Mimi runs out the door, "I'll find out for myself."

Connor says, "You should have told her. Mimi's smart, Mom."

"Everything is relative," says Bonnie.

Bonnie and Connor eat. Connor swears he won't go to jail. Bonnie assures him he is staying right there.

Mimi comes back hauling the bag-o'-bones, "Wet basement huh? Give me two reasons, one form each of you, why I shouldn't call the cops. You've got sixty seconds."

Billie thinks Nick has a crush on Chelsea. Nick tells her she wants Dr. Patton. Billie advises him to make a move, "You're her type. She just doesn't know it yet."

Nick says he used to get his jollies watching cells divide. Now he spends his time wondering how looking at one girl's eyes can make his heart beat a million times a minute. Billie is sorry his eyesight is so bad, but tells him not to give up. She thinks Chelsea likes him a lot more than he is willing to admit. Hugs. Billie has to go.

Nick goes back inside. He tells the girls he ran into a friend from work. The brat asks if it was a hot babe. Abby leaves, promising to think about enrolling full time. Nick sits with Chelsea and nervously asks about her college plan. She tells him he can't change the subject. Nick says he was talking to someone old enough to be her mom.

"Don't dis my mom," says the brat, "She's attractive."

Nick gulps, "I know. Which proves is heredity doesn't mean everything"

Chelsea says she was thinking about studying law. She really needs his help with a job. She wonders why he is being so negative about work, "What am I too ugly to work there?"

No," says Nick, "You're the most beautiful woman I've ever seen, since my head injury, anyway."

She sees Nick looks embarrassed, "It's OK. Thank you. That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me since that time I was a hooker trolling on Seventh Avenue."

Kate reminds EJ they work together and their assets were frozen when he left the country. "We all have our crosses to bear," says EJ, "This is not about our business. This is about the Salem PD setting me up."

Kate gets direct, "Did you shoot John or not?"

"I was halfway to Guadalajara when he was shot," lies EJ, "Kill a man in cold blood? I couldn't do that. You know that, don't you?"

Sami insists EJ is not her friend. Roman says it has been proven that Lexie lied so they have no case. He thinks the case will fall apart, even if they find Tek.

Sami says, "Tek and Lexie aren't coming back."

Lucas asks, "Why not? Why would you say that?"

Sami says, "Because they're dead. And EJ killed them!"

Roman says there is no proof of that. Sami says EJ came back because he knows there is not enough evidence to hold him. She worries that EJ will come after her, since she set him up.

Lucas comes out of left field, "Just tell him."

"Tell me what," asks Roman.

Sami blurts it out, "I'm pregnant." She nearly cries.

Roman is a little confused, "Uh... pregnant... Isn't that good news?"

"Yeah," says Sami, "It's really good news. Except for EJ..."

Lucas says Roman and the cops dropped the ball on this. He'll protect Sami, "If EJ comes anywhere near us he has to come through me and my stink bombs first."

EJ thinks this is about his name – DiMera. Kate asks if there are witnesses that will say he wasn't near the boathouse when John was shot.

"Of course," says EJ.

"And how much did you have to pay them," asks Kate.

EJ ignores it and says he's working on getting Mythic open again.

Kate is shocked, "You expect me to keep working with you?"

"I expect you to keep sleeping with me," says EJ, "There were some areas where we worked very well together

"That's beside the point," says Kate, "I care about John."

EJ says, "Admit it, Kate. You haven't had it this good in years. But you have to commit. What will it be, Kate?"

Nick thinks the brat is playing him. She says all she wants is a job. She doesn't understand why he won't recommend her for one. She bolts out of the pub. Nick chases and asks what she is doing. "Shut up," says the brat, "And let me tell you the truth."

Speaking of the truth, that's what Mimi wants. Oh, the irony! Connor asks her just to leave it alone. Mimi threatens to call the cops. Bonnie calls her bluff. Mimi calls Bonnie's bluff of calling her bluff and picks up the phone. As she starts to dial, Connor says, "Give it up, Mom." He turns to Mimi, "You're a Lockhart, Mimi, and you have a right to know."

Mimi asks, "Who is it?"

Connor says, "It's... It's dad."

Mimi collapses. Bonnie tries to explain. Mimi wants to know what happened. Bonnie cries.

Nick tells the brat when he is at work he is a real man. He doesn't want her on the scene teasing him. She understands. She apologizes.

Kate asks why EJ went to Mexico. He says he needed time to form a strategy. Kate asks how Sami fits into this, "I have a theory about that night. Would you like to hear it?"

Roman says Lucas is right. They promised EJ would go to prison when they asked Sami to help, but he's not sure they have enough evidence to hold him in jail. He wants to know when he can start spreading the word about Sami's pregnancy. Sami says they aren't going to tell anyone about the baby right now.

Roman leaves. Lucas isn't happy with the PD dropping the ball. Doorbell. Billie. Billie says she saw Roman in the hall and asks if there is something wrong. Lucas' phone rings and he heads into the other room to take it. Sami tells Billie EJ is back in town. He probably will go free after the arraignment. She has to go see him. Billie thinks that's crazy. Sami says, I want to talk to him while there are still bars between us."

The brat tells Nick she is trying to change. Nick has noticed. He says he will ask about the job, "If they ask, I will say amazing things about you."

Kate talks about Sami's rescue of Lucas. She recaps all the details of Sami's incredible feat of strength in moving a two-ton beam. EJ thinks that's a testament to the power of love.

Kate says, "The heaviest thing Sami has ever raised is a mascara wand. I think she had help. I think it was you."

"Me," says EJ, "I was halfway to Mexico."

"The only way you could get there was with help," says Kate.

"You know Kate," says EJ, "I knew you were wonderful with your imagination in bed, but this is good. You could write fantasy novels."

"I think you and Sami helped each other out," says Kate.

EJ hits below the belt, "I think you should understand Sami is about to become your daughter-in-law."

Billie says Sami can't go see EJ. Sami says, "He won't kill me. He's having too much fun torturing me. I need your help. I need you to tell Lucas we are going shopping tomorrow." Billie picks up a phone book. She has Sami swear on it that she will be careful.

Lucas comes out. Billie jumps out of her skin and starts looking up random names in the phone book. Lucas announces that Victor wants to see him first thing tomorrow. Sami says she will stay home and practice cooking, and then the guys from the fire department can stay and have dinner with them. She assures Lucas she will be fine staying alone. Billie decides she is tired and heads down to her apartment to get some sleep.

Lucas tells Sami he feels weird about leaving her alone. She insists she will be fine and will be waiting for him to come home.

The brat hopes she gets the job. She'll make Nick proud of her. Nick says she won't have to work at that. He's already proud of her. She has never known anyone who says such nice things about her, "Nick, I really like you." Poor Nick.

Mimi wants to know what happened to her dad. Bonnie takes the fifth, amendment, that is. Mimi draws her own conclusions, "OMG! You killed dad! You murdered our father!"

"I didn't say that," says Bonnie.

Mimi is an expert at lying by not saying anything, "You didn't deny it. You buried him in the back yard."

Bonnie nukes, "Well, just tell everybody!"

"Who are you," asks Mimi, "Both of you. What's left of my dad is in a bag in the living room! Connor, if you ever cared about me at all, tell me what happened to our father."

Connor would tell her if he knew. But he doesn't. Bonnie just said she needed help with the bones. Mimi tells him they promised they wouldn't turn out like Bonnie. Connor leaves to go to bed.

Mimi says she is taking the bones to the police station. She will tell them she found the bones freshly buried. She goes into her room with the bag-o'-bones.

The brat says she likes Nick. She just got used to teasing him. He's the smartest, sweetest guy she's ever known. He stood by her when she teased him. He inspires her, "I'm sorry for how I mistreated you. I want you to be my friend for all the Days Of Our Lives. Nick Fallon, you're the best." She gives him a peck on the cheek and leaves. Nick sighs.

Lucas still has a bad feeling about this – About Victor and Shawn and Belle. If Victor asks he will say he thinks Claire belongs with Shawn and Belle. And Sami will help him find a new job. Sami decides she is exhausted. Lucas gets playful, "Too exhausted to make me dinner? Too exhausted to get your groove on?" Sami is never too tired when he's being cute.

Kate insists EJ must have helped Sami rescue Lucas. EJ says for the last time he was on the way to Mexico. But he can see she isn't convinced. He will have his attorneys draw up dissolution papers for their company, "I can't run Mythic on my own. You have until the morning to make up your mind." He calls for the officer to take him away. As the officer unlocks his chains, he holds up his handcuffs, "I understand some people have a fetish for these things. Not me, of course." He stands up and walks over to Kate, "I prefer a woman of a certain age, with fire in her eyes, lust in her heart, and a comfortable desk in her office. And I'm going to miss you Kate." He kisses her. The officer takes him away.

FF Kate.

Previews
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Victor says, "I want you to find Claire and bring her home." Lucas says, "I'm sorry, boss, but I can't do that."

Belle says, "We left everything behind." Shawn asks, "So what... do you think we made a mistake?"

Chelsea says to Nick, "My mom had a boyfriend over and I just wanted to know if you had any idea who it was." Nick swallows his tongue.

EJ tells Sami, "The reason you didn't put up a fight because you wanted it just as much as I did."