This Stupid Town Is So Incestuous

Patch asks Kayla if they shouldn't be getting inside. She tells him weddings never start on time, and she thinks they should spend some time in the garden. He might remember something.

The brat asks Abby why she is acting this way. Abby is worried about her dad. They see Max and Mystery Girl arrive. "He sure doesn't waste much time does he," asks the brat.

"I told you this would happen," says Abby.

Max wonders how other racers can concentrate in the pits with Mystery Driver around.

EJ sees Max and Mystery Girl walking outside the church, "Well, well, well. What is she doing here with him?"

Down the aisle they come. Roman escorts Carrie. Sami thinks, "Once Carrie and Lucas are married... Austin will be mine."

Kate watches and hopes Lexie brings Sami down.

Father Jansen begins, "Who gives this bride?"

"I thought you'd never ask," says Roman. He turns to Lucas, "You take good care of her."

As father Jansen prays, Carrie looks at Lucas. He morphs into Austin. "I can't," she whispers.

Lucas asks what's up. Carrie says she just felt strange for a second and can't wait to be his wife. Kate goes to the back of the room and yanks Lexie out to talk. Sami watches in horror.

Kate tells Lexie it's time to tell the truth. Lexie resists. Kate badgers, "This is wrong and you need to help me stop Sami." Lexie remembers her mystery phone call from The Hand. She tells Kate there is nothing she can do. Kate begs.

Father Jansen continues. He asks the big question, "Does anyone here know of any reason why this couple should not be wed?" Kate walks into the room and booms, "Lexie Carver has something to say."

"Gasp, mumble, mumble," says the crowd.

Lucas says, "Please tell me you're not trying to ruin my wedding again, Mom."

"Lexie will have to explain," says Kate.

"Yes," says Lexie, "I do have something to say. Many of you know I recently made a terrible mistake in my marriage. I got caught. I lost the love of my life. I just want to say... to every couple... how important it is to be honest and faithful. Lucas, Carrie, before you exchange these solemn vows, resolve to keep them forever. I'm sorry for interrupting. I just want you to be sure you truly do belong to each other. That's all I have to say." The ghost of Winston Churchill appears and says, "Never in the history of human drama have so many words been used to say so little to so few."

Dr. Ho leaves. Kate stews. Winston dematerializes.

Lucas says, "Lexie is right. The vows are sacred. I am sure I can commit myself to you. I hope you feel the same way, especially since we're up here getting married." Carrie stares. Sami almost cries.

Patch is sorry, but nothing helps him remember. Kayla is sad for him. She has wonderful memories and he doesn't. Patch thinks they all look so happy in the pictures. Kayla thinks maybe if he just saw Stephanie it would help. She can't believe she can't reach her.

Patch picks a rose and gives it to her. Kayla thinks it's beautiful. "You're beautiful," says Patch.

"Far be it from me to spoil their little moment," says EJ as he watches Max and Mystery Girl.

Abby and the brat hide as EJ walks by. The brat notes how many hot single guys there are in the world, even though she's out of their league. Abby says, "I wonder if you would be jealous if you lost Max to a girl like her."

Max and Mystery Girl talk. She tells him she will be sitting on the Brady side in the ceremony. He decides they should sit together. He wonders why he doesn't know about her. "Good question," she says, "since I know so much about you." She reels off his history. Max is stunned. She claims she read it on his fan website.

"I have three of them," he says, "And none of them have that information." She assures him all will be revealed. The brat watches.

Max insists Mystery Girl is playing games with him, but he can handle it. He vows to find out everything about her. They go into the church.

Kayla sees them come in. She greets Stephanie and drops the Patch bomb. "OMG," says Stephanie. Kayla introduces father and daughter.

The congregation murmurs. Alice and Maggie discuss Carrie's hesitation. Carrie snaps out of it and tells Lucas she is committed to him.

Father Jansen continues, finally, "Will you accept children willingly as a gift from God and bring them up according to the law of the church, including the one in the oven?"

"I will," says Lucas.

Carrie remembers Lexie's diagnosis. It's too bad she didn't get to attend her own wedding. Lucas has to prompt her. She says she will. As an added bonus, she will also be a good stepmother to Will.

Will chimes in, "I'll try not to give you too much trouble, Aunt Carrie... Mom... Carrie." Nervous chuckles all around.

Kate works on Lexie, "Austin is the man Carrie truly loves."

Maggie and Alice are proud of Lucas. But their standards never were too high.

Father Jansen turns to Carrie, "Do you take Lucas as your lawfully wedded husband..." Carrie thinks about it.

Lucas clears his throat. Carrie momentarily comes back to her own wedding and says she takes Lucas, "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one you're with."

Father Jansen gives his blessing, "What God has joined, let no man divide." Carrie and Lucas light the symbolic candle.

Kate says she won't give up. She asks Dr. Slut to step forward. Lexie twirls her beads.

"So that's Stephanie Johnson," says Max, "I can't believe it."

Stephanie can't believe it either. She wonders how this is even possible. Kayla doesn't know. She tells her about the amnesia. Patch says until a few days ago he didn't really know who he was. Stephanie hugs him and tells him she has missed him so much. She is glad he is back. It's a real bawlfest.

Max thinks, "...And she is my niece."

The brat thinks that's good news. Abby reminds her she is Max' niece too."

"Not by blood," pouts the brat.

"Neither is she," says Abby.

The brat huffs, "Thanks for reminding me. This stupid town is so incestuous." She wonders why Abby didn't recognize Stephanie. Abby says they haven't seen each other since they were kids.

Kate piles on. Dr. Tramp tells her she is wasting her time. Kate vows to stop Sami and Austin from marrying with or without Lexie's help. She will expose Sami. She says she will also find out why Lexie is so afraid to tell the truth and expose that, too, "If you get caught in the crossfire, so be it, Lexie."

The happy couple exchanges rings. Lucas says he has something to say. He has been looking forward to this. He loved her the very first time he saw her. Dreams do come true. This is the happiest day of his life. He promises to stay faithful.

Not to be outdone in the drivel category, Carrie thanks him for always being there for her. He is her best friend and always will be. She is happy he will be her husband, "I promise to be faithful all the Days Of Our Lives."

Father Jansen makes the grand pronouncement. They are husband and wife, "May I present Mr. and Mrs. Lucas Roberts!"

The crowd cheers. Sami and Austin sigh.

The happy couple goes back down the aisle. Everyone follows.

Roman asks Kate why she doesn't seem to be happy. Kate says she is glad Lucas is happy. Roman thinks she is worried about Austin, "Do me a favor... leave him alone."

Austin and Sami talk. Sami thinks Carrie seemed distracted during the ceremony, but really loves Lucas. Distracted? Her own wedding kept getting in the way of her daydreaming.

Caroline comes out with OMB. She spots Stephanie. Hugs all around. Kayla tells her they didn't make it into the church in time for the wedding. OMB thinks they have a pretty good excuse, "We are all pinching ourselves that Steve is with us."

Caroline asks Steve if this brings back any memories. Steve says no. He recognized Stephanie because of the pictures Kayla has shown him. He thinks the pictures don't do her justice. He asks how long she will be in town.

"I'm here for a race," says Stephanie, "We'll have time to catch up."

"Your mom told me you race cars," says Patch.

"I got my wild side form you," says Hotshoe.

Patch says, "I'm feeling protective all of a sudden."

Kayla thinks that's a good thing. The more time he spends with them, he'll remember his life with them.

Max walks up to Stephanie, "You've really had a big day. Why so secretive?"

"I was kind of enjoying it," says Stephanie, "I thought you were too."

"Maybe I was," says Max, "Are there more hidden secrets?"

Mr. hidden secret walks up behind her and says hello.

Stephanie says, "EJ Wells... I'd recognize that voice anywhere. It's wonderful seeing you again."

Phillip, Belle, the bride and groom. Small minds... small talk. Mimi walks up and says, "We just got a message from Dr. Jaynes."

Shawn says, "He wants us to go to the hospital right away."

Phillip asks, "What are we waiting for?"

The hand stalks as Shawn tells Mimi not to worry. Belle backs him up. Phillip says he just called the Kiriakis foundation and the surrogate is on the way. Mimi worries something might go wrong. The hand gives a victory clasp and remembers the switch.

Belle decides Mimi is getting too much attention. She says she is getting nervous herself. Phillip says it will be worth it if this works.

Stephanie says she and EJ raced a few times in Europe. EJ let her win because he's such a gentleman. He swears she left him in the dust. Max asks to take her to the reception. EJ tells her he thought they might go to the reception together. She suggests they all go together. EJ and Stephanie walk off. Max follows like a homeless puppy.

Abby accuses the brat of being jealous. The brat denies it and says she will go tell Stephanie she was at the head of the Max Brady groupie line. "That's the Chelsea I know," says Abby.

Kayla tells Steve they just need some time together as a family. Patch says, "We can't be a family if I can't remember our life together."

Lucas tells Carrie how much he appreciates her including Will in the ceremony. They will give him a little brother or sister.

Sami says, "We're next, Austin, and I can't wait. We will have the perfect life together." They hug.

Dr. Floozy watches the tender scene, "Sami, if you only knew how close you came to losing Austin."

Kate wishes Bo would have been there to see how beautiful Billie looks. Billie says he had more important things to do. Kate wishes Austin could find the happiness Lucas has. She says she has a sure-fire way to keep Austin from marrying Sami, "Before too long, Sami will self-destruct."

Austin and Sami hug as Kate watches. FF.

Previews
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Bo says, "However things turn out I'll always love you." Hope asks, "Even if Patrick is the father?"

Sami asks EJ, "Why are you so determined to postpone my wedding?"

Carrie tells Austin, "I'm glad that you're still in my life even though I married your brother." Austin says, "I'm always going to be here for you, Carrie."

Kayla says, "Somebody staged your death and erased your memory." Patch says, "Who could do a thing like that?" Kayla says, "Stefano DiMera."