GOTHCA, Bitch!

Butter Hunk and the pyromaniac are sitting in the lounge at the Green Mountain Lodge. Mimi says, "I used to dream about being able to afford to stay here at the Green Mountain Lodge. Actually, I dreamed about being able to live in a house and not on the street. I'm the luckiest girl in the world."

Shawn says, "Maybe we should have taken that around the world trip Salem Style Magazine offered us."

"No," says Mimi, "This is perfect. As long as I'm alone with you there is no place I'd rather be."

The Kiriakis room isn't ready, so they go to have a drink.

Patrick has been reading Alma's letter over and over. He was wrong about who murdered her. Hope tells him it wasn't his fault.

He thanks her for finding it. Hope is distant. Patrick asks, "What's wrong?"

"Bo instant messaged me," says Hope, "I blocked it. I don't want to deal with it."

"What if he changed his mind about the divorce," asks Patrick.

Bo broods. He remembers scenes with Hope. There is a knock at the door. He ignores it. Doorbell. He ignores it. Billie yells, "Bo, I know you are in there. Your car and motorcycle are both in the driveway. She comes in, "What's wrong?"

Bo says, "It's over, Billie. Hope has shut me out of her life for good."

"Aw, shucks," says Billie.

Hot times at Dune. Lucas and Carrie dance. He asks if she is OK, "It seems like you were anxious to get away from Austin. Was he bothering you?" Carrie remembers Austin asking why she is marrying his brother. She says, "I just wanted to get back to my handsome fiancée, but had to settle for you."

Lexie rants. Sami says if Lexie blabs, she will tell Abe about her affair with Tek. Lexie... Sami... toe to toe.

Dang! Austin breaks it up. He asks, "What is going on here?"

Lexie turns to Sami and slurs, "Schall you tell 'im or schall I?"

"Nice place," says Phillip. They sit down and look at the menus.

Shawn orders a bottle of their most expensive champagne, and also orders one for the room. Mimi wonders if they can afford it. He wants to max out his credit card. He promises to put in overtime at the garage, which he hasn't even seen for months, until it's paid off. Tonight will be special, "I love you, Mimi Brady."

"Mimi Brady," she repeats, "In high school I filled pages writing that. I'm Mimi Brady." Kiss.

Patrick orders a bottle of their best champagne. Belle doesn't want champagne. Phillip asks why. Belle smirks and remembers their hot evening, "We're trying to make a baby. I don't want to take any chances."

"Are you saying..."

"Maybe..."

Lucas thinks Lexie looked pretty upset. He thinks Sami had something to do with it, "I can read Sami from 100 miles away. She is up to something. She did something. The question is what."

Lexie bawls as she tells Austin about all the terrible things Sami did to keep him and Carrie apart, "She lied, she schemed, she blackmailed..."

Sami says, "I can't deny it... But Austin knows about all those things I did years ago."

"I've forgiven you," says St. Austin.

Sami asks, "Why are you dredging it up now? You can't stand to see me happy."

Lexie's jaw hits the floor, "You are evil," she slurs.

Austin thinks Lexie should take her own advice and chill out. "Move on," he tells her.

They leave. Lexie seethes, "It ain't over yet." Tek comes up and tells her he has the car waiting. Lexie says, "I won't leave until that little twerp Sami gets what she deserves. She hasn't won."

"I know how to fix everything," says Tek.

Billie tells Bo Hope will come around. "I've been fooling myself," says Bo, "I sent her an instant message. I told her I don't want this divorce. She blocked it."

"So what," says Billie, "You're going to give up?"

"What am I supposed to do," he asks.

"Do you still love her?"

"Yes."

"Then remember you are a detective. Find her and force her to listen," says Billie.

Hope insists it's too late. It's time for her to move on. Patrick tries to mitigate things. Hope won't buy it. Bo has sided with Zack's killer. Patrick thinks Hope should have just read the message Bo sent. Hope says, "All Bo does these days is lie. The message would have been a lie too."

Patrick plays the trump card, "Do you think this is what Zack would want? You owe it to yourself and to your family to give Bo another chance."

Phillip kisses Belle's hand. Belle says, "If there is a new life in here, it's my responsibility to do things right. It breaks my heart to think that Mimi won't experience this. I know her dream is coming true in a different way."

Shawn pours the champagne. He toasts, "Here's to you and happiness for all the Days Of Our Lives. And here's to our children who are out there somewhere, born or unborn, waiting for us to adopt them.

Mimi says, "I'm sorry I can't give you biological children."

"What's bringing this up now," asks Shawn.

Mimi remembers Bonnie telling her she can't tell Shawn about Claire. She dodges the issue. Shawn says he will be a father soon, anyway.

Austin says Carrie and Lucas act like they are having a great time. Lucas asks what's up with Lexie, and why Sami was so nervous at the hospital. She says she's always nervous when someone calls a bunch of people together. Austin and Sami go to dance. Lucas and Carrie sit.

Jada and Tek come up to Lexie. Jada admires Lexie's bracelet. Tek says, "Jada's going to help us make sure Sami gets what she deserves."

Bo says, "The harder I push the harder she pushes back. I don't want to risk hurting her again. He remembers the fight with Patrick at Zack's funeral, "Hope thought I was a raving lunatic. She's wrong. I wasn't raving."

"She knows you so well," says Billie, "She understands how you feel."

"You understand," says Bo, "We're alike. We both act first and think later. In fact, usually the thinking part is optional. Hope knows when to control her temper. She's a trust-fund baby. I was a wrong side of the tracks punk. It was part of the original attraction between us.

"The whole 'opposites' thing," says Billie.

"No," says Bo, "I just happen to like trust-funds."

Flashback to Bo and Hope meeting. Bo claims Hope is a pretty little rich kid who's nothing but a pain. More Hobo scenes...

Bo snaps out of it, "Even though opposites attract, maybe in the long haul that's not enough. Maybe we weren't meant to be together."

"After 20 years," asks Billie, "You don't believe that. You need to do whatever it takes to find Hope and tell her how sorry you are."

Hope says, "I've heard all I want to hear from Bo."

Patrick understands. He knows what it's like to lose someone you love. If he could have Alma back he'd find a way to work anything out. "It's worse than betrayal," says Hope, as she remembers finding Bo and Billie in bed, "I didn't tell you this sooner because I didn't want to hurt you. Jennifer and I found Bo and Billie together in bed in a motel. That's when I knew it was over. When we were supposed to be grieving he slept with Billie. Hopefully he won't be stupid enough contact me again."

Right on cue, Hope's computer beeps. She looks at the screen, "OMG!"

It's a reminder to take Zack to the dentist. The reminder also has a picture, "Look at his sweet little face."

Patrick assures her, "It's all right."

"No it's not," says Hope, "I have to stop wallowing in sadness. This bungalow isn't a safe place any more. These reminders keep popping up." He offers to take her to the world-class hotel and casino on the big island. When they return all her troubles will still be there, though. That's OK. Hope wants to go, "But I have nothing to wear."

"Leave it to me," says Patrick. He leaves.

Hope looks at the computer, "I love you, Zack."

Bo thinks there is no point in trying to contact Hope. Billie asks if he meant it when he said they weren't meant to be together.

"Maybe."

"You are like the fairy tale couple," says Billie.

"We always had the kids to keep us together," says Bo, "But JT was taken, and Zack is... and now that Shawn is married, maybe they were the glue in our marriage. Now that they are gone our differences are too much. The house is empty, the kids are gone. Maybe we realize there is nothing left to this relationship, and that we're better off apart."

Mimi asks what Shawn meant when he said he is going to be a father soon. Phillip and Belle come up to their table and ask what they are doing there. Trying to get away. Shawn tells them they didn't take the round the world trip because there is so much going on here. Shawn didn't feel right leaving, what with Zack's death and his parent's divorce, "Without honesty and trust a marriage can't survive, so we won't make the same mistake my parents did." The pyromaniac asks, "What are you guys doing here?"

Phillip says, "We wanted to go somewhere romantic so we could make another baby."

Jada is going to help get Carrie and Austin together again. She makes an announcement. Dune will sponsor a charity handcuff dance. She will 'randomly' select couples to dirty dance together. Tek will use his genu-wine handcuffs to do the cuffing. Jada selects couples. Of course she selects Austin and Carrie. They pass. Jada tells them the prize is a $500 donation to their favorite charity. Carrie can't pass up that kind of money for the American Association for Re-tards and Retreads, so they agree. Tek cuffs 'em.

Sami thinks Lexie set this up. Lucas says she's just annoyed because Austin is handcuffed to Carrie. "I'm not," he says, "because I am secure in my love."

Let the dancing begin. Austin roughs her up a little. Carrie gets into it. Sami and Lucas don't. Show me the way to your heart...

Sami makes a call, "I'm at dune. I need you to come right away."

Patrick comes back in with a garment bag. He hands it to Hope. "The cop in me doesn't want to know where you got this," she says. She hopes the casino takes credit cards.

Not to worry, Patrick just happens to have a wad of cash lying around, "It's not my money."

"Now you're scaring me," says Hope.

"It's money from my previous trip to the casino," he claims. She goes to change. Patrick fans the bills.

Billie asks, "How can you say that?"

Bo says, "A lot of couples break up after their kids are gone or after they had a tragedy. We had both." Bo decides he needs another beer.

Billie doesn't think that's a great idea, "Do you remember what happened the last time you got drunk?"

"Yeah," says Bo, "I shot you and we spent a freezing night on a mountaintop. It's not gonna happen again."

Shawn didn't realize Belle was planning to turn into a baby-machine. BUT, he has a surprise for Mimi. He hands her a set of papers. Miss Pyromaniac 2006 resists the urge to set them on fire. "OMG," says Mimi, "I don’t believe this. An adoption application. I love you so much!"

What do you get when you cross a liar with a pyromaniac? a) Liaromaniac b) Liar, liar, pants on fire c) Mimi's job in hell d) All of the above The correct answer is e)... Someone whose hot lyin' lips can Kiss Shawn goodbye.

Shawn loves her, too, "With any luck we will have a kid before they do."

Belle's dark side emerges. She thinks, "This is wrong. And it has to stop."

Hope asks if the dress was Alma's. No, Patrick just ran out to the all-night McDress store and had it made up.

Hope thinks it's exquisite, "It fits."

"I know a thing or two about women's bodies," says Patrick.

"I'll bet you do," says Hope, "Its' perfect. You clean up rather nicely yourself."

Bo is out of beer. He has to go for more. Billie doesn't want him driving under the influence. Bo claims he's only had two. Billie insists she won't let him go kill himself.

Poor Bo says, "I got no reason to live." Billie chases as he leaves.

Lexie thanks Tek, "Sami's gonna pay. Just look at Carrie and Austin. They belong together. No one should try to stop them."

More dirty dancing. Jada selects a couple to be eliminated. The crowd boos. Lucas wants to know why Sami is so anxious.

She just wants the dance to be over. Suddenly, Salem's finest is on the scene. The cops arrive, too. They got a drug-dealing tip. No one is to leave the area. Once of the cops announces, "Abe carver will take care of this personally."

Lexie tells Tek, "OMG, Abe can't find us here together."

Sami looks over at Lexie and says, "GOTHCA, bitch! No one messes with Sami Brady and gets away with it."

Previews
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The brat says to Frankie, "Tell me the truth. Can you promise I won't go to jail if I tell my dad what I have done?"

Abe looks across the room at Dune and says, "I don't believe it."

Lumi kiss. 7.5 on a scale of 10.

Frankie says, "I want to take you upstairs and make love to you." Jennifer asks, "Then what's stopping you?"