A Card-Carrying Phony

Vivian joins Victor in the Kiriakis den, "I've had an epiphany!"

"What," growls Victor, "You've finally realized you're a thorn in my side? What is this big revelation of yours?"

"Well," snorts Vivian, "I don't want to get all thorny on you but I've figured out what to do with Carly."

Carly and Melanie are outside. Carly has given her diagnosis on Melanie's bashed and and cared for it as much as she can out there. She asks, "Can you keep a secret?"

Melanie gets snotty, "What is this junior high?"

"Obviously not," says Carly, "Or the writing would be better. It's time you knew the truth. Years ago, I had a daughter. It's a long story and in time I want you to know all of it. But for the time being it's enough for you to know... you are that child. You are my daughter."

TOYING! I JUST LOVE TOYING WITH YOU GUYS! IT'S MY NEW HOBBY!

Rafe walks through Sami's living room with his knapsack, "I'll get the rest of my stuff tomorrow." He opens the door and turns to leave. Sami calls out to him...

Brady rushes up to Roman at the police station and tells him he can't reach Arianna. He says he's worried the drug cartel king knows about her."

"How long have you been trying to reach her," says Roman.

"About five minutes," says Brady, "Listen, her life could be in danger, OK?"

Arianna finds the cell phone ringing in the DiMera foyer. She open the phone and holds it to her ear. Anna starts right in, "Willpower is out the window so bring those chocolates."

"Hello," says Arianna, "Do I know you?" Anna hangs up.

EJ walks out, "What are you doing?"

Carly asks to go someplace less public. Melanie invites her to Maggie's home, "This better be good."

"This is DOOL," says Carly, "It can't be."

Rafe turns back. Sami says, "I have something for you." She goes to a drawer and gets the St. Anne's medal Sister Teresa gave her, "I think it kept Sydney safe when I was carrying her. I think it still is. It just doesn't have much power over people being kidnapped. It gives me hope. So I'm going to abandon hope and give it to you."

Victor mocks, "What? You're going to tell me your plan? No more dithering? Be still my heart." Vivian says she's going back to plan A, eliminating Melanie. "She's my son's fiancée," gasps Victor.

"If I destroy her," says Vivian, "Not only do I hurt Carly but I also make all of Salem happy."

Carly and Melanie walk into Maggie's kitchen. They ignore the hidden microphones and video cameras. Carly stalls and ices Melanie's hand. She says it's not that easy for her to talk about, "...But many years ago I had a daughter."

Arianna says she thought the phone was hers. EJ lectures her for invading his privy-cy. Arianna shows him they have the same phone, "I've been thinking of upgrading but since everyone in Salem has the same phone I don't want to be different." EJ apologizes for being paranoid. Arianna thinks there is more, "Do yo have something to hide?"

Anna tells Sydney she thinks she made a huge mistake, "I Hope I didn't blow it."

Carly tells Melanie not many people in Salem know about her daughter. Melanie isn't surprised. "I know," says Carly, "You haven't had a good impression of me..."

Melanie gets sarcastic, "Really... a murdering adulteress... whats not to like?" Carly says she wants to explain things. Melanie asks, "Where is your daughter now?"

"Let's put it this way," says Carly, "She's not hard to find. A whole lot of people have seen a whole lot of her on the Internet lately."

Rafe says he can't take the medal. Sami begs. She softens, "We're bonded forever because of our love for Grace and Sydney. Please take it."

Rafe agrees, "I'm not gonna rest until I find Sydney." Translation: No rest for the dreary.

"And," says Rafe, "Maybe once I find Sydney things will be different for us."

"No," says Sami, "I'll still be as nutty as a Stucky's Pecan Log and you'll still have the personality of a wet dishrag."

Brady lectures Roman for not doing enough to find Sydney. Roman tells Brady he'll put a whole team on the Syd-napping if Brady wants to pay for it. OK, Roman, here's a tip. That's not a good argument to make when you're talking to a guy who has more money than God. Brady says he will be glad to, "If you can't do the job, I'm gonna find her myself." He walks out.

EJ says, "I'm not hiding anything. I'm just a little on edge. Nicole is in prison and I've been without the... uh.. benefit of female companionship lately."

"Not a big deal," says Arianna, "So... now that we're friends again I want to ask you a question. Who's Anna?"

Sami says she wishes she had gotten Sydney back before any of this happened. Rafe makes inferences, "You mean before I got involved in the ransom exchange. It's not going to do any good to argue."

"You're right," says Sami, "But you can bet your last nickel that we will. I thought I was doing the right thing." Here come the tears, "And I know you thought I was doing the right thing."

Rafe is stoic, "I gotta go." He walks out. OK, NOW come the tears.

EJ bobs and weaves and asks what Anna said. "She said to bring chocolates," says Arianna, "Then she hung up. What are you hiding from me?"

"The chocolates," says EJ, "Actually, Anna is the widow of my late brother, Tony."

"Not the same Tony they've erected the Tony DiMera Memorial Pallet to down at the pier?"

The very same."

"Anna said to come when it's safe," says Arianna, "Why would she say that?"

EJ doesn't think well on his feet... or sitting down. He hems and haws, "Well... um... She's in town for a few days looking after Tony's business and... She doesn't want my father to know."

"Why?"

"DAMMIT WOMAN, CAN YOU OPEN YOUR MOUTH WITHOUT ASKING A QUESTION? So, how long do you have. The fact is, she hates my father."

"I'm really sorry..."

"Why are you staring at me," asks EJ.

"I think there is more going on than you're telling me."

Vivian and Victor argue about Melanie. Victor doesn't buy that Vivian wasn't bonding with her, "You told me she reminded me of yourself — That's the ultimate compliment."

"She reminded me of the unpleasant side of myself."

Victor growls, "You're a card carrying phony. What changed your mind? Who got to you?"

"Lawrence."

Victor's eyes pop out, "Lawrence? The late Lawrence? Dead Lawrence?"

"Shhhh. He might be listening."

Victor goes hunting poltergeists. He pokes around the room looking under chairs and behind sofas, "Lawrence? Lawrence? I've got news for you. You're aunt's gone bonkers. She's out of her friggin' mind."

Melanie reminds Carly she's spending a lot of her free time with someone else's husband, "But I didn't get to have a mommy. Sometimes I wouldn't care if she were a monster if she were just around. Now I have Maggie. In fact, I have more moms than I know what to do with. Vivian and Kate have been in a weird competition. And don't say a word about Vivian." Carly decides to go. Melanie won't let her, "You dragged me here to tell me something and I want to know what it is."

Carly begins the tale, "After I gave birth I lost my daughter..."

Melanie has a case of cant-keep-her-mouth-shut-itis, "OMG! I know what this is about!"

Rafe comes into the cop-shop and finds Roman. Roman tells him there is no word on where Arianna is, and there is still not much info on whether she will go back to prison. He also says he knows things are rough between Rafe and Sami, "For what it's worth I would have done exactly what you did."

"I guess that's part of the reason you can't get women to come near you," says Rafe.

Sami — here's the news bulletin of the century — broods. Brady shows up. Sami gives him her imitation of Rafe... a blank stare. Brady says, "It looks like you were expecting someone else."

Melanie becomes as animated as a Disney cartoon character, as well as having about the same IQ, "It all makes sense — why you were hovering around here."

Carly misinterprets, "I wasn't sure what you would think."

"OMG," gasps Melanie, "Your daughter died! That's why you connected with Mia. Her daughter died, too. You should talk to her."

"Maybe I should," says Carly, "I'm getting a lot of experience talking to young clueless girls. Having a child taken away... there are just no words."

"Don't worry," says Melanie, "This is DOOL. Words are a dime a dozen. I'm sorry for how I acted. Can you forgive me?"

"Bbaaawwwllll..."

Victor continues his Ghostbuster act, "You hear that, Allemain? Your aunt's gone bonkers. Not that she had far to go."

I'm perfectly sane," protests Vivian. Victor says all bets are off and forbids Vivian to go anywhere near Melanie. Vivian decides to talk to him when he calms down. Victor says there will be no calming down, "You are not to lay a finger on Melanie Layton, is that clear?"

EJ wants Arianna to get her suspicions out in the open. She says when he said his father betrayed Tony, she could see the pain in his eyes because Stefano has done the thing to him.

"If he had told me the truth," says EJ, "this whole nightmare would never have started. Thanks for your kindness." Arianna decides to go. EJ asks her not to tell anyone Anna is in town or it would put him in a difficult position with his father. Arianna leaves.

Three... two... one...

KABLOOIE!

EJ has a fit, "STUPID GIRL! ANNA! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?"

Brady says he's at Sami's place looking for Rafe because he can't find Arianna.

"Let me get this straight," says Sami, "You can't find Arianna so you're looking for Rafe."

"Right."

"And I thought I was the only one with just one oar in the water."

Sami tells him Rafe isn't there. Brady asks, "When will he be back?"

"He's not coming back."

Rafe tells Roman he moved out. Daddy is sorry to hear that, "Oh well, Sami hasn't been able to keep a man yet."

EJ calls Anna and rants. She rants back. EJ goes apoplectic, "You identified yourself to Rafe's sister!"

"Stop being mean," says Anna, "and tell me how we will fix this."

Snidley Whiplash twirls his mustache, "Don't worry about Arianna. I'll take care of her."

Sami flops on the couch. Brady asks, "Did you and Rafe have a fight?"

"Fights," says Sami, "Plural." She fills him in on the ransom notes and her belief that if Rafe hadn't brought in the FBI they would have Sydney back. Brady thinks she should put that aside and work together with him. Sami doesn't see how that's possible, "We betrayed each other's trust. How am I supposed to get over that?"

Carly brings on the tears, "It means so much to me that you would want to apologize."

Melanie tells Carly that Maggie and Daniel have been on her case about taking the high road, "Do you think about your daughter a lot?"

"Blubber-blubber-blubber."

"Sometimes," says Melanie, "I hear Mia crying. I don't know what to say to her. Do you think about having other kids."

"I suppose I could have another kid," says Carly, "But at my age it would be like having my own grandchild. I do have a son — Nicolas. We're not getting along right now."

"Why does that not surprise me," asks Melanie, "But at least you're not alone now."

"Not any more," says Carly, "I have my sex-buddy Bo."

"People usually don't call it 'sex-buddy,'" says Melanie.

"I know," says Carly, "but this is a family-friendly blog."

Victor demands Vivian do what he says, "Stay away from my future daughter-in-law or you will answer to me."

"Whatever you want."

"Exactly," booms Victor, "Whatever I want. He leaves.

Vivian huffs and calls Gus. She tells him she wants to meet.

Arianna is with Brady. She tells him where she was, "I thanked EJ for saving my life."

Brady cautions her against getting involved with the DiMeras, "You remember Tony Soprano? He loved his daughter but was the worst criminal in the world."

"But he was a fictional character," says Arianna.

"So are we."

Out in the audience a long-time Days Of Our Lives addict, Gertrude Mindless from Parsippany, NJ, thinks about what she just heard, "DOOL characters... are FICTIONAL? NO! It can't be..." Medics rush her to the hospital and she survives, but just barely.

Arianna asks about Sami. Brady tells her about the breakup.

Carly says she came back to Salem because it's home to her. Melanie says it's home to her now that she has friends and Phillip. Carly asks about France. Melanie says she misses it sometimes, "On a shallow note, which is the only note I know, by the way, I miss the eclairs. Vivian and I were talking about French pastries... uh.. I have to be honest. I really don't like Vivian. She's... uh... sincerity challenged." Carly says she has to be going. She suggests Melanie have someone look at her hand. Melanie says she'll stop by tomorrow when Carly is on duty. Outside, Carly thinks things over and walks off.

Vivian meets up with Gus at the park bench, "I was freezing my derriere off out here."

Gus takes a peek, "Apparently you weren't here long."

She tells Gus they are still going after Melanie, but they have to be more discreet, "Accidents happen and Carly will be there to see it."

Sami tries on the ball cap that Rafe gave her. She lies down and stares.

EJ finds Rafe in front of the pub. He asks about the backpack, "You didn't move out did you?"

"I'm in a rush, EJ."

"I'm sorry," lies EJ, "I know she cares a lot for you. It must be quite a blow... to both of you."

"I said I'm in a rush," says Rafe, "See you around." He walks off. EJ stares.

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