Plumbing The Commodes

Kate goes over the script for her commercial as the makeup guys try to work their magic on her. It would take magic.

Jeff Voorhees comes up to Kate and introduces himself as her husband in the commercial, "So, are you pumped for this?"

"Yeah."

Tony meets Barney, who is in charge of the production. Barney gets a call. Tony goes to check on Kate. Kate thinks the flock of people around her of overdoing it, "Would you have these guys back off. They think we're doing a remake of On The Waterfront." Anna walks in.

John tells Marlena he's expanding his business interests. Marlena says her computer is freezing up, and wants to know if she can use his. "I will expect something in return," says John.

"What did you have in mind," asks Marlena. He grabs her and goes to town as Sami and EJ walk in.

Martino listens as Earl begs for his life. "I got a problem, Earl," says Martino, "I like you. I think everybody deserves a second chance."

Earl is relieved, "Yeah, that's right. You won't regret this." I see the writers found the script from the scene where Tony Soprano offed the guy in the icehouse.

Abe, Lexie, Patch and Kayla are in Ava's room. Kayla says she had the meds analyzed. Ava thinks that's an invasion of privacy. She wants her doctor. "I'll be taking care of you now," says Kayla. Ava screams for Dr. Nusbaum. Kayla tells her the pills are making her worse.

Barney tells everyone an actor called in sick. He tells them to take a break while he gets a replacement. Kate and Anna trade wisecracks.

Kate ramps up the bickering, "You don't know the difference between a flower pot and crock pot."

"I know a crock when I see one," says Anna, "I watch DOOL every day. Besides, you're one to talk. You haven't used a vacuum since you used it to lipo out..." Tony breaks it up.

Kate takes him aside and tells him she has tolerated Anna and even thrown her an account, but this won't work, "Either she goes or I do." Tony wishes he were back on the desert island.

Anna reads the script aloud. Barney asks her to read it again. He asks her if she's ever done any acting. Anna reels off her high school acting experience. Barney says he wants her in the shoot. Anna asks, "What? You want me to be in Kate's commercial?"

Barney says, "I think you would be perfect for it."

Tony and Kate stand in the background and gasp in unison, "WHAT?"

Barney says, "You're just what I need."

Tony offers to make a call and find someone else, but Barney drags Anna to makeup.

John tells the "kids" never to interrupt when he's making out with Doc.

Sami jumps to conclusions, "Did you just call her Doc? OMG! The old John is back."

Rolf walks through the room and when he hears this, he drops the tray he is carrying.

Kayla says Ava has been taking anti-seizure medicine and that is causing anxiety and mood swings. Patch could swear he read in the Guy manual that anxiety and mood swings were normal in women. Ava says Dr. Nusbaum wouldn't hurt her. Kayla asks why her condition hasn't improved then. Patch sits beside her and asks, "Can you think of any reason why Dr. Nusbaum wouldn't want you to get better?"

Ava says, "Nothing other than he's a fan of good drama."

Barney counts down to the take. Kate and Anna launch into their lines. Things degenerate. Kate and Anna go for each other's throats. Anna threatens to whack Kate with a Hearth and Home omelet pan.

Tony drags them apart. Barney screams, "We need makeup!"

Tony sighs, "We need a miracle."

Marlena tells Sami the Old John isn't back. Sami whines, "Then why were you kissing him?"

"It's complicated."

John steps in, "I kissed her and she loved it. Tell 'em Blondie." Rolf offers to clean the chair he spilled the tray on.

John tells him to get rid of it, but EJ protests, "It's an antique."

John's sentimental side kicks in, "I guess I'll keep it if it has been around as long as Marlena. But I want to start getting rid of things around here – starting with Stefano's picture."

Patch tells Ava they are all there to help her. Ava doesn't know if there is a reason why the doctor wouldn't want her to get better, "There... there was something... that happened right after you left me. Dr. Nusbaum and I talk about it sometimes." Ava gets an overacting Emmy as she blubbers about how she let Patch down. She screams. She yanks at her restraints. She blathers. People in the room stand back as she blows up into a full-blown maelstrom. Well, I guess in her case it's a femaelstrom. Patch and Kayla go out into the hall to get out of the way of the lava burst.

Abe and Lexie wonder why Kayla wants Ava to recover after all she has done to her family. The Goddess of Malpractice says, "I want her to recover because I am a doctor."

"It's more than that," says Patch, "It's because you care about people."

"People, yes. Dialogue, no," says Kayla, "But there is an even greater reason I want her to recover – so I can kill her myself."

Rolf hesitates. John wants the painting down. Rolf doesn't respond. John asks, "Would you prefer subtitles? Remove it now!" Rolf offers to remove it later. John wants it down now. Rolf remembers the disc and says he would feel as if he were betraying Stefano. John reminds him who's boss, "When I want my tires rotated, you rotate them. When I want to redecorate, you redecorate. When I want my commodes plumbed, you plumb them." Rolf says he is always happy to be plumbing the commodes, but doesn't want to remove the painting.

"What can I do," asks John, "hold a gun to your head?"

"Zat iss a rhetorical qveztion, right," asks Rolf.

John moves in and swings Stefano's painting open, revealing the wall safe, "Well, what have we here?"

Earl lays cold and dead on the pavement. Martino says, "The boys never did like that punk."

Kayla insists she wants Ava to recover, and didn't know what pills she was taking. Abe thinks Patch and Kayla are more forgiving than he would be. Kayla asks him to run a computer search on "Nessbam."

Lexie takes Kayla aside. She takes a megaphone, points it toward Patch and asks, "Did you tell Steve? He'll find out sooner or later. It's in her chart."

Patch would have to be stone deaf not to hear the conversation. He walks up to them and asks what's up. Lexie the coward scoots away as fast as she can. Kayla tells him Ava tried to commit suicide right after he left her at the altar.

"What a coincidence," says Patch, "You tried to commit suicide right after you found out who you had married." Kayla says she found this out yesterday and knew he'd blame himself. He tries to touch her cheek and Kayla backs off like he's an angry rattlesnake.

Patch asks Kayla to go see Ava with him. Inside, Ava is as drugged as Old John on a good day. She asks where she is and they tell her. Patch says they will take good care of her there. Ava begs, "Patch, don't leave me."

Kate shakes hands with Jeff and tells him it was nice meeting him, "Good luck doing Hamlet in Canada."

"From DOOL to Shakespeare," says Jeff, "That's got to be a wilder ride than the Wicked Twister at Cedar Point."

Kate storms around and tells Anna she can forget the Internet account and she will never work with her again. Tony takes Anna aside and tells her Kate just needs to cool off. Anna softens. She thinks Tony took a risk doing this. She thinks Kate might fire him. Tony consults the Guy Manual and comes up with the perfect comeback, "There are other accounts out there but no other Annas. What do you say we have dinner at Chez Rouge?"

Anna picks up a cheese grater, "Is this the kind of woman you want? Someone who can use one of these... uh... uh..."

"It's a Cheese grater," says Tony.

Anna doesn't get the concept, "Don't they sell cheese already grated?"

"That's the woman I love," says Tony. He attacks.

Rolf asks to be excused. John asks for the combination to the safe. Rolf says he doesn't have a clue. "Why should I expect you to have one when no one else in Salem does," asks John. He walks over to Marlena's bag and pulls out a stethoscope.

"What the hell is that thing," asks Marlena.

"I'm going to check for a pulse," says John.

The safe might have a pulse, but Earl doesn't. He lays on the pavement with his head in an ocean of blood. Martino gets a phone call. He tells the boys to finish up and then they are outta there.

Ava wonders why Kayla is being so nice to her. Kayla says it's her job. Patch tells Ava she wigged out because of the drugs. He whispers, "Sweetness... thank you."

Outside, Kayla tells Abe and Lexie Ava is resting. Abe gets a call, "Where are you? I'll be right there." As he rushes out, Lexie asks where he is going. "Cleanup on aisle seven," says Abe.

Kate walks into the crime scene. Sullivan tells her they don't know what happened. He questions Kate, but she says she didn't see anything. Bennett takes her phone number in case they need to talk to her later.

Kate gets a call. "Long time no hear," says Martino. He says he's in town for a visit and wants to get together. Kate tells him she's not in that line of work any more, "I do it for free now."

"Let me at least buy you a drink," says Martino, "No tricks, no strings, just a couple of friends catching up." Kate agrees to meet him. Martino will call later. Kate walks away from the scene.

Rolf protests as John works on the safe. He gets it open and pulls out a couple of portfolios. He looks inside, "Real estate documents." They all can't believe that's what Stefano had in the safe. John goes through the stuff again and finds the disc, "Well, what do we have here?"

Patch goes back into Ava's room. Ava asks him to come closer, "I need you to get me outta here. You get rid of the guard, take off these straps and I'll do the rest. You owe me." Steve agrees he owes her but can't get her out. Ava goes into another meltdown. Kayla comes in when she hears the ruckus. Suddenly, the room goes silent. Ava says, "Well look who's here."

John fiddles with the disc and then puts it in his pocket. He says he'll look at it in private. He changes the subject and asks Sami and EJ what they want. They want Marlena and John to come to the hearing and testify on their behalf.

"You want us to lie for you," asks John?" He excuses Rolf and says the sooner they convince immigration, the sooner they get out of there, so he's up for it.

Sami tells Marlena she doesn't know when Lucas is coming back and EJ has been a good father, "EJ and I don't hate each other. We live a relatively normal life and do everything couples do."

"Except one," says the ever-astute John. Sami begs. Marlena says she can't make any promises, but agrees to go with them. Sami hugs her. "I hope I'm not making a big mistake," says Marlena.

Sami tells them the hearing is in a half hour. Marlena wishes they would have had more notice. John thinks going will score some points with Blondie.

Marlena asks whom they are meeting. Sami says the guy's name is Leonard Burke. EJ chimes in, "He doesn't have much of a sense of humor."

"Well," says John, "you're not exactly a laugh riot yourself."

John smirks as Sami tells Marlena everything will be fine. Sami and EJ will dump the twins at Maggie's and meet them there. They rush off.

Marlena starts to leave, "Are you coming?"

"In a minute," smirks John. She leaves. John looks at the painting and then rushes out.

Rolf comes in and muses, "If Chon dizcovers vhat's on zat disc, I am in bik trouble."

Kate asks, "Do you have any clues."

"There is a dead body over there," says Abe, "That must mean something." He asks Bennett to escort Kate to her car. As they walk off, Abe gets a call. Lexie says since they're both working they have to ask the sitter to stay with Theo a couple more hours. She asks about the crime scene. Abe tells her, "It's a professional job, so we've ruled out the involvement of any DOOL writers."

Ava drones, "You're here." Martino tells her he got there as soon as he could.

"I'm sorry," says Kayla, "Who are you?"

"My name is Martino Vitali," he says, "I'm Ava's father."


Previews
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You can watch the previews later today on our PREVUZE II website.