Excuses

The Guy Manual

Chapter 10 - Excuses


Nearly Foolproof Excuses:

1. I thought it was you. (Submitted by Mr. Bo Brady)

2. She was in disguise and looked exactly like you. (Submitted by Mr. Jack Devereaux).

3. I lost my memory. (Submitted by Mr. Steve Johnson, Mr. John Black and Mr. Tommy Horton, Jr.)

4. I thought you were dead. (Submitted by Mr. John Black, Mr. Bo Brady and Mr. Mickey Horton)

5. I was locked in a cell with him and he was begger than I am. (Submitted by Mr. Lucas Roberts)

6. I was trapped on a tropical island for twenty years. (Submitted by Mr. Tony DiMera). Note: Surprisingly, many women deem this excuse to be marginal.


Excuses to Avoid:

1. She's your sister. I kept it in the family. (Submitted by Mr. Austin Reed and Mr. Lucas Roberts)

2. She's your mother-in-law. I kept it in the family. (Submitted by Mr. E.J. Wells)

3. She's your mother. I kept it in the family. (Submitted by Mr. Doug Williams and Mr. Nick Fallon)

4. Your point? (Submitted by Mr. Max Brady).

5. She named her lobster after me. (Submitted by Mr. Austin Reed)

6. She had the biggest... (Submitted by Mr. Mickey Horton)


Excuses you may hear:

1. I didn't get your email, (Submitted by Ms. Hope Brady)

2. He paid me. (Submitted by Ms. Kate Roberts and Ms. Billie Reed)

3. He was male. (Submitted by Ms. Bonnie Lockhart)

4. It was an emergency. The barn was on fire. (Submitted by Ms. Belle Black Kiriakis Brady).

5. It was an emergency. I only had one more day before our wedding.(Submitted by Ms. Belle Black Kiriakis Brady).

6. I lost track and thought he was my current husband. (Submitted by Ms. Marlena Evans).

7. He raped me - I think. (Submitted by Ms. Sami Brady).

8. You were trapped on a tropical island. (Submitted by Ms. Anna DiMera)

9. I thought you were dead... again. (Submitted by Ms. Jennifer Devereaux)

10. I figured in five minutes we'd both be dead. (Submitted by Ms. Billie Reed)

12. He had the biggest... wallet. (Submitted by Ms. Bonnie Lockhart)

13. Mothers and daughters should share. (Submitted by Ms. Billie Reed and the late Ms. Addie Williams)

14. Both my knees have the same polarity. (Submitted by Ms. Kate Roberts)

15. I did it for you. (Submitted by Ms. Kimberly Brady)

16. I only did it with part of his body. (Submitted by Ms. Belle Black Kiriakis Brady).


Excuses universally accepted by all women:

1. It was you, I knew it was you, and in fact, it was your idea. (Of course, you might think under these circumstances you don't need an excuse, but, believe me, it will come in handy some day).

2. Refer to #1.