Translating Daze II

You’ve heard of English/Spanish, or English/German or English/Whatever translation books? Here is your handy DAZED/REALITY TRANSLATION BOOK – Chapter 2

What they say: I know what………….you are going to say
…….you’ve been keeping from me.
…….you’re feeling.
…….is going on.
…….you’ve done.
…….the problem is.
Translation: I don’t have a clue. In fact, I’m so far off base it’s pathetic. But this gives you a chance to look stricken as we leave for a commercial break.

What they say: I'm just a little dizzy OR I just haven't felt like myself lately.
Translation: She is pregnant or he/she has a terminal illness.

What they say: You're sentenced to death row.
Translation: You'll get a last second reprieve.

What they say: I must find him/her!!
Translation: I’m going to put the audience through months of near misses with both of us being in the same place at the same time and yet conveniently blocked by someone or something.

What they say: Get a doctor in here!
Translation: Get Lexi Carver, she's the only doctor in the entire town of Salem no matter what specialty is called for – emergency medicine, surgery, OB-GYN, cardiology, nephrology, oncology…