Inevitable Results

There was no Daze feed today. In lieu of that, we came up with this little item to provide your daily DOOL fix. Enjoy.

As an adjunct to our “Translations” we are also providing a handy reference we like to call “When This Happens/Inevitable Result”.

When this happens: Someone is told to “Stay right here!”
Inevitable result: The person instructed to do so will immediately run out, get in a life-threatening situation and have to be rescued.

When this happens: The characters decide to go to Smith Island.
Inevitable result: The electricity will go out, a huge rain/snow storm will whip up, or someone will fall off of that same ledge and hang by their fingernails.

When this happens: A character contracts amnesia.
Inevitable result: They will fall madly in love with a relative.

When this happens: A son/daughter will whine, “I just want us to be a family again.”
Inevitable result: It's not going to happen until long past the time anyone even cares any longer. (Note: if being said by a kid, he/she will STILL be saying it well past their teenage years when they should've gotten over it already!)

When this happens: A character goes into a coma.
Inevitable result: So one person will stand by the bed talking to him/herself - or two people will stand by the bed and reveal the biggest darkest secrets they wouldn't want the comatose victim to know - - which the victim will absorb even in the coma state.

When this happens: It’s announced that the wedding/funeral/church service will begin in a few minutes.
Inevitable result: Several guests who are still at home, not showered, dressed or even begun to get ready, will appear in the next scene sitting there when the wedding/funeral/church service begins.

When this happens: A character is told, “Your child is dead (or stillborn).”
Inevitable result: The kid will turn up, alive, years later and will be someone the mother/father already knows (and usually despises).

When this happens: A character in trouble leaves a note/clue so they can be rescued.
Inevitable result: The note/clue will fall under a table or sofa and remain there for months. This will usually include someone looking down at some point and saying "what's this?" or "what the heck?" and it won't, of course, be the note.

When this happens: Two characters vow that they’ll be happy forever. No one and nothing can come between them now.
Inevitable result: In about two months a former lover/spouse/heretofore unknown child will appear and wreak havoc.

When this happens: They start mentioning the name of a character who hasn’t been seen onscreen for years.
Inevitable result: That character will start showing up on the show within a few weeks.