A Really Nice Ass

The Olympics are over. Welcome back to #DOOL. The show that proves there is in fact something more boring than watching a curling stone slide across an ice rink. #DAYS

Kristen is concerned the cops are closing in. She should build a donut shop near the convent as a decoy. #DAYS

Chad flings his phone across the room. He either didn't like that text or, more likely, he just got his AT&T bill. #DAYS

EJ: "I don't need a phone card. I have no one to call." And no one to invite to your pity party. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Belle: "Abigail has vanished without a trace." EJ: "And you're concerned?" Belle: "Yes. There is a remote chance they might find her and she'll come back." #DAYS

BULLETIN: Several NBC executives are showing suicidal tendencies upon discovering #DOOL comes back with higher ratings than the Olympics. #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — Gwen: "You were engaged to the beautiful Sarah Horton, but now have settled for me – the town pariah who set out to destroy her sister's life." Xander: "True, but you have a really nice ass that makes up for all of that." #DAYS

Next on #DOOL — EJ: "I'm sure I'll be fine in prison." Belle: "That may be true, but only if you don't drop the soap in the shower." #DAYS