That Filthy Four-Letter Word
I realize DOOL is a soap opera and one of the characteristics of that form of (I use the term loosely) entertainment is the tendency to have stories go on and on for what seems like forever. But it's not just that the Dan-Phillip-Chloe thing, for example, seems to have been with us since the beginning of time that gets to me, it's also the prospect that this thing could drag on until the kid goes to college. As they say on the show, I'm ready to "move on." With that in mind, I found this little gem I thought I would share with you:
From the DOOL Writer's Manual:
Story lines are hard to come by. It takes a lot of brainpower and, excuse the use of a filthy four-letter word, work to come up with a lame story, even though we've done that story a hundred times over or ripped it off from an old film. Since work is not your friend, we suggest a writer's technique called "plot extension."
Some viewers, vindictive, petty little people that they are, sometimes refer to this with the pejorative, "dragging it out." Pay no attention to these small minds. If you start listening to what the viewers want, you'll wind up not only having to write plots that move along, but also, perish the thought, plots that are interesting.
Remember, selective use of the "pregnant pause" is a sign of a good writer, so you can be an excellent writer but using the "pregnant year," which, by the way, is coincidentally the standard amount of time for a pregnancy on this show.
From the DOOL Writer's Manual:
Story lines are hard to come by. It takes a lot of brainpower and, excuse the use of a filthy four-letter word, work to come up with a lame story, even though we've done that story a hundred times over or ripped it off from an old film. Since work is not your friend, we suggest a writer's technique called "plot extension."
Some viewers, vindictive, petty little people that they are, sometimes refer to this with the pejorative, "dragging it out." Pay no attention to these small minds. If you start listening to what the viewers want, you'll wind up not only having to write plots that move along, but also, perish the thought, plots that are interesting.
Remember, selective use of the "pregnant pause" is a sign of a good writer, so you can be an excellent writer but using the "pregnant year," which, by the way, is coincidentally the standard amount of time for a pregnancy on this show.
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8 Comments:
Prevuze says: But it's not just that the Dan-Phillip-Chloe thing, for example, seems to have been with us since the beginning of time that gets to me, it's also the prospect that this thing could drag on until the kid goes to college.
C'mon Prevuze, cheer up, you know as well as any other longtime viewer that this kid could be born in November and be in college by next May. So don't despair! This could be over next year! or maybe Chloe will use all the brain cells that she carries around in her boobs (gadzooks that girl is smart, judging by the size of those brain cells....) and after Carly finally does this paternity test, Chloe will take a page from the "Sami Brady Book of Altering Hospital Records in 1 Easy Lesson" and make the results show Dan is the father, on the outside chance that he's not (Vegas is giving great odds the daddy is Father Matt).
have a great extended weekend!
LeeLeigh - Chloe would have to develop some bigger - er - brain cells as I just don't see her having enough to be able to switch the test results. Maybe Nicole would do that for her.
On the other hand, Nicole has apparently written all of her top secrets in a diary with a code that looks like a 4th grader created so maybe she couldn't switch them either. :P
Oh well. I just hope it IS November of this year. Otherwise all of the viewers will look like the couple in the picture. (LOL over that one.)
Thanks, Prevuze, and happy weekend everyone.
The Prevuze unabashed dictionary defines "Bulldozer" as any viewer who nods off to sleep during an episode of DOOL.
Thank goodness there is a definition, and how appropriate that it can be found in the Prevuze dictionary. Drag it outtitus creates Bulldozers, but there is a cure. It's called the zapper. Since Prevuze is the chronicler of all that is DOOL, a zapper is not always an option. In emergencies, soaking one's head in cold water should do the trick.
As for the neverending Chloe/Daniel/Melanie/Phillip/Carly crapfest, I have decided to turn this lemon into lemonade. Since those zappers need batteries, I'm buying shares in Eveready, so I can retire in style in Salem. To guarantee outstanding sales for said batteries, I'm hoping for one of DOOL's patented cheesy product placement ads. I understand Chex Mix is just flying off the shelves. Hmmm - that may have something to do with EJ, so DOOL had better cast him as the battery shill.
Have a great weekend everyone and stock up an Eveready batteries. Prevuze - the best cheesy product placement blog on the Internet!
LeeLeigh and Prevuze both make very good observations. (What ARE the odds on Father Matt being the baby daddy? Inquiring minds...LOL)
What Prevuze didn't reveal, is that the very next section of the DOOL writers' handbook - "When You Are Finally Ready to Wrap It Up."
'After you've drug a story out to the point nobody even cares any longer, you may put it down, humanely or not.
'If you are an exceptionally good DOOL scribe you'll end the storyline in such a head-scratching (the big Dimera/Brady feud is because Stefano's dad got involved with a Brady?) manner our viewers will be forced to think about it for months afterwards.
'If you are unable to fashion a good ole' what-the-hell ending, you can go for one of the following:
-anti-climactic: Payla just disappear off the canvas one day
-don't end it at all: What or who was hidden under the sheet in Stefano's bunker in the jungle? Whatever DID happen to Pookie?
-squander a great character and the future for some interesting plots: Jawn becomes John again & is written off, Madeline takes a header off the stairs instead of staying around as a judicial foil for the Dimeras and the fall-out of you-know-who being Chad's dad.
'And when the storyline involves major characters in a love triangle/quadrangle/bestiality plot you can end it by either...
-not giving the viewers what they want: for Safes=EJami, for EJamis=Safe
-giving the viewers what they want: Whichever couple wins the day, do not. We repeat, DO NOT let the happy couple (and satisfied fan base) be happy for more than one episode. The examples here are endless. Special recognition in this category goes to the writer who, after MONTHS of teasing, finally had Sami & EJ admit their love for each other, make mad passionate love and then didn't even LET THEM GET OUT OF BED before throwing in the completely unlikely occurrence of Lucas getting out of jail and walking in on them. A brilliant set-up and let-down like this is seldom achieved, but can be aspired to.'
Sorry for going on for so long. I thought this portion of the DOOL writers' handbook worth sharing.
Thanks, Prevuze, for opening up this opportunity. Have a great weekend everyone!
Since Prevuze is the chronicler of all that is DOOL, a zapper is not always an option.
Alas, you are correct. I cannot zap. I have responsibilities to the readers. Life is cruel.
In emergencies, soaking one's head in cold water should do the trick.
You have no idea how many times I've been told to go soak my head.
LOL at 2060 Chloe & Philip. if i have to guess, I'm thinking the kid will be on his death bed before those two idiots decide to fess up.
Bulldog doesn't think Chloe has big enough, er, um, brain cells to pull off switching test results.
Well Bulldog, maybe you missed what else I said: all she has to do is read the "Sami Brady Book of Altering Hospital Records in 1 Easy Lesson" and she should be able to do it. Okay, so she might have to read the book at least twice. Okay, so someone might have to explain to her any word over 6 letters. Okay, so she's probably never been in a bookstore. Okay, so maybe Nicole will have to do it for her.... LOL
It's probably not worth mentioning, but Chloe used to be pretty smart (valedictorian, anyone?) and if the plot calls for it, she will be again. ;)
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