The Constant Din Of Bunk

We begin today's episode with a panoramic shot of the glistening deep blue waters of the Mid Atlantic. As we pan in, we see a dot, perhaps a tiny boat, infinitesimally small, surrounded by the immense, expansive waterworld that is its home. The sea is calm.

Victor stomps up and bawls out the guard at Phillip's door for being an incompetent moron. He orders security doubled, then goes into Phillip's room, "You need anything?"

"How about some answers," says Phillip.

"OK," says Victor, "The nurse was an assassin."

"She tired to kill me," says Phillip, "How long did it take the SPD to figure that out? "

"Who said they have figured it out," asks Victor. He assures Phillip he won't let them get away with it.

Nicole sits in the Java Café and remembers her conversation with Baker. As she starts to leave she discovers Dr. Baker left his keys and whines, "Why won't he just go away?"

Sami and Rafe come in behind her, dragging part of Sami's brood. They talk and giggle about the kids. Sami can't believe she's found Rafe, "I'm so happy, Agent Ruiner... you almost ruined everything." They share smoochies and Sami thanks him for spending the day with her and the kids.

Phillip tells Victor he wants no negotiations. He wants the people who did this to pay. Brady comes in. he asks if they are talking about which DiMera they are going to kill first.

Max and Chelsea are at the airport. Max assures her Bo will be there. She impatiently starts to call as Bo comes up and they glom onto each other.

Sami talks about the number of speeding tickets she almost got trying to track Rafe down. He tells her there is nowhere else he would rather be than right there. Nicole interrupts their smooching, "Look at the adorable couple. Sami and the cable guy – a match made in heaven."

Brady asks how Phillip is doing. "Me," brags Phillip, "I'm bulletproof."

"That's because half your body is made of Kevlar," says Brady, "So, what happens now?" He thinks the violence will hit new heights, "I just want to know when it's going to end."

Victor ramps up the lecture, "Brady, you're spewing nonsense and sanctimonious crap."

Brady asks, "Have you ever heard the saying, 'Before you embarq1 on a journey of revenge dig two graves.'"

Victor snorts, "Are you on drugs again?" Phillip tries to referee. Victor backs down and says he respects Brady's strong opinions. Brady wants to know the plan. Phillip tells him he doesn't want to know. Brady insists he's a part of this and wants to know. Victor and Brady start arguing again.

We continue to pan in until the dot becomes a small sailboat slowly meandering through the blue abyss. On deck the captain stands at the helm, juts his chin, whistles the "Sailor's Hornpipe" and surveys the waters like a Neanderthal hunter in search of prey. At the bow, a small girl leans overboard and pets the killer sharks playfully jumping beside the boat in an attempt to find dinner.

Bo and Chelsea talk about Billie's condition. Bo assures her Billie is a fighter. He says Chelsea is doing the right thing by leaving. They decide to focus on the fact that Chelsea will be back and Bo tells her how proud he is of her.

Rafe tells Nicole to get lost. "Ooh," says Nicole, "So you're a scheming liar without manners. Sami you really hit the jackpot. Not only did you crash my wedding, but you mad us all suffer your ridiculous shenanigans."

Sami tosses in her two cents worth, "You seem to be in a bad mood. You're a bride. I thought you would be all-happy. Has the newly-wedded bliss worn off?"

Nicole says everything with EJ is fine, "He reminds me all the time how great it is not to be with a little airhead. He prefers big airheads." Sami smooches Rafe and tells him Nicole doesn't bother her. She kisses him and goes off to get a table. Nicole mocks the kiss by making the the sound of a toilet plunger being pulled off a tile wall as Sami walks off. Once Sami is gone, Nicole tells Rafe, "I'm not through with you yet."

Brady insists he's not going to stay out of things. Victor says he won't be chastised by a recovering druggie. Brady takes us all through the tedium of all 12 steps of his 12-step program and wants to know if Victor has ever taken a moral inventory, "Kindness – nobler than revenge."

"Oh," taunts Victor, "Now he's quoting Shakespeare."

The Bard himself looks on, "From the Globe to DOOL. I never thought I would sink this low."

Bo promises Chelsea, "I'll come and visit as soon as Billie is well enough for a little romp."

Chelsea reminds him of all the crummy things she has done to him, "But you put up with me through it all. You were (say it with her) there for me and loved me no matter what."

Bo hugs her, "My daughter... part of my heart... I love you. Chelsea whispers, "I love you."

Sami's attention span is about as long as a mayfly's. Instead of getting a table, she takes a detour to see Sydney. She bumps into Marco, who isn't in a good mood. He gives her permission to look at Sydney as long as he doesn't make her cry.

Rafe tells Nicole to stop pushing and get a life. Nicole asks if he found what he was looking for when he broke into the mansion. "Yeah," says Rafe, "I sure did. You have two TV's illegally hooked up to the same cable box."

Max comes up to the brooding Chelsea and gives her provisions for the trip, specially kleenex. We have a tender, tough, tearful goodbye. Chelsea tells Max she will be gone for a while and they both have to accept that. Max just can't, "You can't leave. I'm running out of nieces."

Brady wanders at the pier. Bo shows up. Brady tells him there is something he needs to know.

Victor gets off the phone and tells Phillip everything is going as planned.

The little boat gently bobs as it cuts through the sea. Below, in the galley, the first mate prepares lunch. All is well with Belle, Shawn, Claire and the dozen or so rats that have stowed away on the Fancy Face XLIV. The sharks, however, are a bit hungry.

GASP! Storm clouds form on the horizon!

Nicole plays the southern Belle and asks Rafe why he broke into the DiMera mansion. Rafe tells her he wasn't spying for Sami, but did it on his own. Suddenly, Nicole looks over and sees Sami holding Sydney. She runs over and yanks her away, "I don't want you within a mile of my daughter. Do you understand me?"

Sami says, "No one understands you." Nicole scolds Marco for letting Sami hold Sydney, then turns and sees Baker on the phone outside.

Max pouts. Chelsea says she thought he understood she had to go. Max wants to be cool about it but says he's having a tough time. He doesn't want to make this harder for both of them. Then he proceeds to make it harder.

Brady tells Bo Victor and Phillip are set on taking matters into their own hands.

Bo asks, "That's your opinion. Do you have anything more concrete?"

"My brain?"

Bo assures him he will take care of things and leaves.

Baker gets off the phone and walks back into the Java Café. Nicole suddenly makes a scene and claims she has lost her keys. She and Marco leave as Rafe brings coffee.

"Nicole is a laugh a minute," says Rafe. Together, he and Sami come up with a chain of bad names for both her and EJ. Out in the audience, a gal leans over to her neighbor, "Wow. I haven't heard name-calling like that since that ugly incident on the playground in elementary school."

Outside, Nicole runs into Dr. Baker and tells him he left his keys. She whispers and rants him for coming back into the Java Café, as Marco stands watch over Sydney in the background.

Bo comes into Phillip's hospital room. He tells them Nasty Nurse Natasha is in custody and if she has anything pointing to the DiMeras they will pounce on it, "So the cops will take care of it. You two need to stop the insanity NOW!"

"We can't," says Phillip, "The DOOL contract calls for it to be on the air at least for another year."

Rafe does magic tricks for the twins as Arianna walks up, "So you're the famous Sami Brady, right?"

Nicole asks Baker if he's hoping the truth comes out. He tells her if she acts like something is wrong people will pick up on it, "Nicole, it's hard to sit through the constant din of bunk with you." Nicole remains worried and tells Baker his being in Salem raises suspicion. Baker insists he isn't leaving.

The storm moves in. The Fancy Face XLIV rocks violently. Cap'n Shawn takes counter measures. Claire lurches forward. A shark jumps and just misses having an arm for an appetizer. The crew has secured most of the items in the galley but unfortunately Belle was preparing mayonnaise sandwiches for lunch. The large industrial-sized jar of mayo sits above the sink and when the boat heaves, the jar comes smashing down into the sink, shattering both the sink and the jar. Belle panics as she sees the concoction of broken glass, shattered porcelain and mayonnaise oozing down what's left of the drain. Everything in the galley... the walls, Belle, the glossy 8x10 photo of Phillip... is splattered with pus-white globs of mayonnaise. Belle screams like the banshee of the Mid Atlantic.

Bo orders Victor to drop his plans, whatever they are. Victor wonders what Bo would do if Chelsea, Ciara or Shawn were in danger. Bo sidesteps the issue and tells Victor if he goes out on his own he can't protect him.

Sami says she didn't know she was famous. Arianna says she heard Sami is a real firecracker. She explodes a lot anyway. Arianna pulls Rafe aside and asks what he is doing, "You cannot be with that woman. Are you out of your mind?"

Nicole tells Baker they have to act normal. Too late. Baker says as long as they keep their mouths shut things will be OK. Nicole doesn't agree, "Sami isn't a genius but she can question the enormous coincidence of you delivering the two babies on the same day, "When my father-in-law comes back they are going to check your background. Then they will know everything."

Baker says, "If they find out about me, they find out about you, so you have to stop the investigation."

Chelsea gets her final boarding call, kisses Max and slogs through a river of tears onto her plane.

Victor gets a call and takes it outside. Bo tries to get Phillip to listen to reason. Phillip insists he's trying to protect himself. "When it comes to police matters," warns Bo, "I'm the commissioner – not your brother."

Victor rants on the phone as Brady walks up and asks how Phillip is doing. He tells Victor he just closed the deal with Mr. Shinn.

Victor blindsides him, "And how did your chat with Bo go?"

Sami tells Rafe it's time to go. On the way out he asks her on a date. Sami thinks that sounds great, "Where are we going?"

"To the most romantic place I know," says Rafe, "It's a secret." Arianna watches and judges as they leave.

Baker tells Nicole for the last time he's not leaving town, "Should I have it tattooed to my forehead? As long as you keep your mouth zipped things will be fine." Baker walks off.

Nicole picks Sydney up and tells her Dr. Baker is wrong, "The truth will come out and when it does... I am not gonna let anyone take you from me. If Dr. Baker won't help me tie up loose ends I will take care of this myself."

The storm quickly passes. Shawn hears Belle screaming loud enough to wake Davy Jones. He runs to the top of the stairs and shouts, "Belle! What is it?"

Belle screams...

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(Are you ready for this?)

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"IT'S THE SINK! OH, THE MAYO!"

Here's wishing you a better Cinqo de Mayo than Shawn and Belle seem to be having.

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