Whoring Around

Sami bustles around her place and answers the doorbell. Lucas rushes in. Sami tells him the big deal she wants to talk to him about concerns Grace and EJ. Oh, my! Whatever could that be about? Lucas immediately figures she didn't drop the bomb about Grace. She says she didn't do it because of what happened to Phillip. Lucas judges. He reminds her, "That guy Raffle or Riff or whoever he is knows, too. I thought you guys were an item."

Arianna and Rafe decide they have a lot of catching up to do. Rafe wonders if last night made up for everything. "No," says Arianna, "to make up for everything you have to buy me breakfast."

"At the pub," asks Rafe.

"No," says Arianna, "Taking me to that joint to eat would mean you have even more to make up for."

Kate obsesses over her plan to bring Daniel down.

Chelsea catches up with Kate at the hospital, "I'm glad I found you. Billie is stable."

"Then she's the only one in the family who is." Kate says she got a ticket for London. Chelsea wonders what about Phillip. Kate is determined to go. Chelsea says she'll go instead.

Chloe finds Will at the Java Café. She sits with him, "I don't want to come off sounding like the wicked stepmother, but shouldn't you be in school?"

"Teacher's conferences," says Will.

"How long to they last," asks Chloe.

"They start in September and go through June," says Will. Will says he likes school except for the classes, "Everyone hangs around in clumps." Chloe says she hated the cliques when she was in high school, too. He reminds her she was the prom queen.

"That was kind of a fluke," says Chloe, "I was actually the first runner up, but Chris was disqualified when he insisted on wearing a pink taffeta gown to the prom."

Sami corrects Lucas on Rafe's name. Lucas is sarcastic about her relationships. Sami says Rafe flipped out when she told him about wanting to tell EJ. She tells Lucas about their little CENSORED incident, "It was one of those wonderful moments in life... like labor pains or watching DOOL. Lucas, I think I scared him away."

Chelsea and Kate argue about who should go to England. Daniel interrupts. Kate fills him in on Billie's situation. Kate suggests having Jack and Jennifer check in on Billie before someone gets there. She leaves to try to arrange that.

Chelsea plays the blame game for not calling Billie before the accident. She says she wanted to call her and tell her about Max. Daniel is happy that Chelsea has found Max and is happy. Chelsea says she's gong to London. "Where is she," says Daniel.

"She's at Kent hospital in Mayfair," says Chelsea.

WHAT A COINCIDENCE! Daniel just happens to know a doc who works there. He says he'll call him and give him instructions over the phone on how to save Billie's life, "I'll miss you." Hugs. Kate stands behind them and soaks it in.

Lucas pours on more sarcasm as he and Sami talk about Rafe and EJ. She takes us back through the pain of what happened at the endless wedding. "What a tangled web you weave," says Lucas, "So now EJ thinks you love him." She tells him that's not true but that's why Rafe bugged out. Lucas asks if she's being honest when she says she doesn't love EJ.

Sami looks the word "honest" up in the dictionary.

Chloe and Will bring the conversation back to Sami. Will wonders how his dad put up with her for so long, "I was wrong. My dad is better off with you. Better off dead, that is."

Sami insists she isn't in love with EJ. Lucas thinks she doth protest to much. Sami squeals, "I could kill him."

"If I were a better shot you wouldn't have to deal with any of this," says Lucas.

Sami gasps, "OMG, don't talk like that."

Lucas presses, "Are you sure you don't have feelings for him? Are you sure? Are you sure? Are you sure?" Uh-oh. I think there was one too many "are you sure's" there. Stand back, everyone. Sami 'splodes.

Rafe and Arianna are guzzling coffee at the Java Café. Arianna thinks Rafe hasn't changed. Rafe insists his life is boring. Arianna says she thinks Rafe is holding something back from her. He tells her he gave up his job. She figures he was fired. Rafe comes clean and tells her that's true. "AHA," says Arianna, "I have a feeling your last assignment was young and beautiful and you fell for her. Some things never change."

"Not on this show," says Rafe.

Kate interrupts the hug. She tells them Jack and Jennifer are in Africa visiting Belle.

"How did Belle get to Africa," asks Chelsea.

"After months on a boat alone with her, Shawn couldn't stand it any more and he threw her overboard when they got close enough to Capetown that she could swim ashore."

"Chelsea starts planning for the trip. Daniel leaves so Kate and Chelsea can duke it out over who goes and who stays.

Chelsea watches Daniel ride off into the sunset, "He makes me feel better."

Kate takes the opening, "He's gifted at making women feel better." Kate gets a call, "Yes, I'm her mother. OMG! No! Yes! I understand."

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Father Matt runs into Chloe at the pier. Chloe asks, "Is it a sin to tell a kid you'd like to learn about baseball when you actually think baseball is torture?"

"Torture," repeats Father Matt, "You must be a Washington Nationals fan."

Speaking of torture, we're back to Sami and Lucas. They argue. Womanchild throws stuffed toys. Lucas reminds her she trusted him enough to tell him her big secret. He insists he cares and doesn't want to see her get hurt. Lucas reminds her she will be part of EJ's life. He vows not to let EJ hurt anyone else he cares about.

Chelsea is on the phone arranging to go to England. Kate decides Chelsea can go but Kate will come with her. Chelsea doesn't want her to leave Phillip.

Kate ponders, "He has been through quite an ordeal hasn't he?"

Chelsea agrees, "Yes, Stephanie is a lot to have to deal with."

Chelsea goes to tell Mark her supervisor she is leaving. As Kate decides she is resigned to staying in Salem, she hears a commotion down the hall. She leans around the corner to see what it is and finds Mark doing a chicken dance and high fives now that he's found out Chelsea won't be around any more.

Daniel comes up to Kate, "I think you and I should talk." Kate agrees.

Lexie brings Theo up to Chelsea. Abe follows. Chelsea tells them about Billie and her pending trip to London. "How are you going to get there," asks Theo.

Chelsea says, "I knew you would ask that and so I made you this paper airplane." She hands it to him.

"How did you know you should make it," asks Lexie, "If we just happened to bump into each other and you didn't know you would be seeing Theo?"

"This is DOOL," says Chelsea, "what did you expect, logic?" She turns back to Theo and tells him that's how she will get to England.

"The last time my mommy and daddy went to England," says Theo, "They took a real airplane."

Lucas. Sami. Bickering. Lucas wants her to get her feelings straight and tell EJ the truth, "Grow up, Sami. You need to grow up."

Arianna asks if Rafe's latest mystery woman was worth losing his job. Rafe says he doesn't know – the relationship may be over. "Well," says Arianna, "It looks like I found you again just in the nick of time."

Daniel wants to talk about Chelsea. He thinks it's important Chelsea be the one to run off to Billie. Kate tells him that's already decided. Chelsea will go to London and Kate will stay. Daniel gets a call. Kate tells him to go save lives and she'll wait for the right moment to take his.

Chloe tells father Mack she's making progress with Will and she thinks Allie is just adorable, "A huge nuisance, but adorable."

Father Matt pops the big question, "And how are things with Lucas?"

"Who?"

"You haven't told your husband about your affair?"

"No," says Chloe, "And thank God I didn't."

God figures she's right and scratches 'Thou shalt not lie' off his list of commandments, "And I think the list would be a little better off without this one about adultery, too."

Lucas tells Sami to be careful with EJ, "So tell me about about Raff."

"RAFE," she says, "It's RAFE. I don't know what's going on with him." Lucas tells her she should find out. She appreciates his support. Lucas hugs. Sami picks up a megaphone and aims it toward the apartment door as it opens, "I know my secret is safe with you."

Will stands there, "Just what does that mean?"

Chelsea tells Kate it was difficult to say goodbye to Theo. Kate tears up. They both turn on the waterworks as they say goodbye. Kate bawls, "Tell your mom I love her and will be there as soon as I can. Then once you walk off the set we'll forget both of you forever." Chelsea leaves.

Kate watches her go, "It's a good thing you're going. Things will get worse before they get better." That's been happening on this show since 1965. You would have thought we would have reached the bottom of the barrel by now.

Lucas lectures will for sassing his mom, "I can't wait until you're 17 or 18 or whatever age it is that you don't know everything."

"Maybe you and I will get there together," says Will.

Sami jumps in, "I was telling your father there might be more to my relationship with Rafe than friendship. In fact, when you busted in on us earlier, you almost saw for yourself how much more."

Will tells her he just saw Rafe at the Java Café, "I'll babysit, if you want to go there, but you need to start paying."

Lucas hands him a wad-o-cash and says he has to go see Chloe. Will tells him she is at the pier, "I like her, Dad... really."

"I like your attitude."

"So...," asks Will, "These secrets with mom... do you tell Chloe?"

"I think she has a few secrets of her own," says Lucas.

Chloe decides God works in mysterious ways. She says Lucas was dead and coming back was a miracle and part of it was Lucas not remembering about her little peccadillo with Daniel, "God gave me a do-over. Maggie realized that too and kept my secret. So now at last I finally have peace of mind."

"A piece is about all you have up there," says Father Matt.

Daniel comes back to Kate. She says she's going to ask him for advice about a problem, "I know for sure Chloe was having an affair and I'm shattered."

Daniel gives her his best, "I understand you're shattered" look.

Chelsea is on the phone leaving Max a message, "Things are worse than they thought with Mom. I need to see you ASAP.

Rafe tells Arianna he got an offer from Homeland Security. Arianna says, "This awful woman has taken a great agent and turned him into a loser in Salem."

"It's not Sami's fault," says Rafe.

Arianna jumps on that, "SAMI? Does she spell it with an 'i' and does she put a little heart over it when she signs her name?"

Sami with an 'i' walks into the Java Café and listens to the conversation.

Rafe pours it out, "I love you and no one will ever take your place in my heart."

Sami's eyes go wide. The staff of the Java Café wonder how they will deal with the cow Sami just had right in the middle of the place.

Chloe wishes father Matt could have married them. She tells him they weren't married in a church and father Matt suggests it could still happen. Chloe says being married to Lucas is a new beginning.

"My organization is big on forgiveness," says Father Matt.

Lucas walks up as Chloe takes her own megaphone and points it toward him, "I know there are secrets that should be kept, even from your husband."

Kate says, "I am sure Chloe was whoring around on my son."

"I can't believe it," says Daniel.

"You can't believe it," asks Kate. Three-two-one... Bombs away... "WHEN YOU ARE THE MAN SHE WAS WHORING AROUND WITH?"

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