Easy On The Starch

Mimi tells the doctor, "You know something, don't you? You have news and it's not good." Rex chimes in, "Mimi's going to be all right, isn't she?"

Jennifer comes home. Patrick comes down to greet her. Jennifer tells him, "Billie isn't making life easy for Hope right now, or for you." Patrick tells her, "The judge is being hard-nosed, so Billie and I could be looking at jail time." Jennifer tells him Billie is a walking time bomb, "How many more lives is she going to destroy?"

Bo tells Hope he was forced to tell mean ole Judge Shay Billie would be staying with him. "Not again," says Hope, as she flashes back to the bathroom scene. Billie says she will leave. Bo stops her.

RRIIPP. Lucas tears up the marriage license, "There won't be a wedding today. After finding you and Brandon NAKED IN BED together on our wedding day? It takes a better man than I am to forgive that." Sami says Kate set them up. Lucas says, "My mom is capable of a lot of things, but there is no way she could be responsible for what I saw in that room." Sami says Lucas should believe her. She's telling the truth this time. They pan out revealing a bit of a tummy on the pregnant actress as Will walks into the room, "You really blew it this time, Mom."

Sami tells Will it's not over, they can work it out. Will says, "Not this time, Mom, I heard what happened. I can't believe I got my hopes up again." Sami says, "Will, I'm your mother. I wouldn't lie to you." Will practically chokes and reminds her she lies to him all the time, "There's something wrong with you, Mom." Maybe Will should be a psychologist when he grows up. He could get rich just having his mom as a patient.

Sami begs Kate to tell them the truth, "Do you get some kind of sick pleasure out of seeing your grandson like this?" Lucas pulls her back. "Sami's right," whispers Kate.

Ho and Dope are alone in the kitchen. Hope wants to know why Bo keeps running to Billie time and time again. Bo insists the judge put him in an impossible position. "No," says Hope, "Billie put you in an impossible position and now she's put me in one."

"He was going to put her in Jail," says Bo, "Should I have let that happen?"

"Yes, that's exactly what you should have done."

Patrick insists what happened at the Cheatin' Heart was an accident. Jennifer tells him, "That so-called accident had Billie spending the night at Bo and Hope's. And I suppose it was an accident when Hope walked in on Bo and Billie and found them NAKED IN THE BATHROOM together. Bo said it was innocent, but it never would have happened if Billie wasn't there."

Patrick says they won't be able to agree on Billie Reed. Jennifer goes off the wall, "How does that woman wrap men around her little finger? I don't care if it's you, or Bo or... somebody else that I knew." Patrick asks who. Jennifer says she was talking about Jack, "as far as he was concerned Billie could do no wrong. He had a million excuses for her, too." Patrick asks if this is really about Billie, with Jack being gone. Jennifer stares.

Deck hand Jack suffocates in a cloud of cigar smoke. Cap'n Nasty tells him there was a bad storm in the Northeast and he had to change course. Hmmmm... Salem must be in the Northeast. They are headed for South America. "Can't this tin can handle foul weather?" asks Jack.

"Mother Nature can be a cruel lady," philosophizes Cap'n Nasty, "And since I am in charge of this tin can I'm ordering you to get this laundry back to me pronto and don't forget, easy on the starch and nicely ironed. You know what you need is an attitude transplant." Cap'n Nasty leaves. Jack flashes back to the castle where he saw Patrick and Jennifer walking down the aisle on TV, "I can't let that happen. I gotta figure out a way to get back home before it's too late."

Mimi wiggles her engagement ring, "Dr. Aubrey, what's wrong with me?"

"You have an infection and it's not responding to the antibiotics. I want to do exploratory surgery. It's just a laparoscopy, no big deal." Mimi tells the doc her grandmother died of uterine cancer, "Is that what you're talking about?" She says right now there are no signs of cancer, but they need to know the source of the infection. Dr. Aubrey asks to speak to Mimi in private.

The doctor tells Mimi the infection could be a result of her abortion. Mimi tells her, "Rex has no idea I was even pregnant." The doc says Rex seems to be a very understanding man. "I'm not sure he'll be understanding about this," says Mimi, "but I have to tell him before we get married. I just feel like I'm being punished for having the abortion." That's right, Mimi, this is Days Of Our Lives, you will be punished for this forever. And so will we. "I'm just afraid Rex will freak when he finds out."

"Find out about what," asks Rex, who apparently doesn't know what the word 'private' means.

Jack takes his frustration out on the laundry, "What if I get back to Salem just to find out Jennifer is already involved with that Patrick character? He imagines finally getting home and discovering Patrick and Jennifer in each other's arms, "NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Jennifer insists Billie is as hard as nails but men all fall for her act, "Hope is really smart to be suspicious of Billie and if you were smart, you would keep your distance from her." Patrick accuses Jennifer of being jealous of Billie. Jennifer drops her jaw.

Hope gets in Bo's face. Bo asks, "You really want Billie to go to Jail?"

"No," says Hope as she jams her finger into his kidney, "but I don't want her to stay in this house either." Billie listens outside. Hope says, "If I had to choose between Billie going to jail and saving my husband, I'd choose jail." Billie leaves in a huff and slams the door. Bo runs after her. As he gets to the door we hear the sound of screeching tires. "She must have heard our conversation," says Bo, "If she gets in trouble it will be your fault."

"The truth is," says Kate, "that your mother wants you to believe I set her up. It's lucky for me your father doesn't believe her." Lucas takes Will aside and tells him they will get through this. "It hurts, Dad, knowing our family will always be screwed up." Brilliant kid. Lucas tells Sami to leave. She wants to take Will with her. He wants to stay with Lucas. Sami leaves alone. Brandon tells Lucas he's sorry this happened. Brandon leaves. Lucas and Will go off to watch a game. Kate says, "I'm sorry you're hurting now, but I'm going to make sure Sami Brady never hurts either one of you again."

Brandon takes Sami's arm as she struggles with the door, "Let me help with that."

Mimi tells Rex if she had come in for a checkup sooner, the infection wouldn't be so bad. Rex asks if that is what she thought he would freak out about. "You're always telling me to take better care of myself." She was feeling achy for weeks but thought it would go away. She also didn't go to the doctor because she doesn't have health insurance. The doc says, "A lot of young people don't have health insurance because they don't think anything will happen to them, but that's not always the case." OK, there's our lecture for the day. Rex asks, "Her condition's not life threatening, is it." The doc stares. Mimi stares.

Jack wrestles with the iron, "I have to get off this ship before I go crazy. Jennifer and Patrick Lockhart, no way." His imagination takes over. He walks in on Jennifer and Patrick as the baby says "Da-da," his first word.

"Patrick isn't Jack Jr's father, I am. Jennifer faints. Patrick catches her. "Take your hands off my wife," says Jack. Let her fall in a heap on the floor.

Jennifer insists she is not jealous of Billie, "I just don't understand how she has cast this spell on you." Jennifer wants to know how three smart men keep falling for Billie's 'damsel in distress' routine. Not to mention Bo, Patrick and Jack. If she were Hope, she wouldn't trust Billie either. Billie walks in to the dramatic pounding of tympani drums.

Hope isn't exactly thrilled Bo is going chasing after Billie again. He isn't going to let her stay at Jen's. Hope says Patrick has been nothing but caring. "Because he wants something, Hope. He's an opportunist," says Bo.

"Patrick had no idea Billie was a recovering alcoholic," says Hope, "But Billie knew. And she chose to drink anyway. And why did she allow herself to get picked up by some sleazy guy at the bar?" Bo doesn't know. Poor Bo never knows. "You keep deluding yourself and one day it will be too late," says Hope.

"Whazzat supposed to mean? You really think you're going to lose me to Billie?" Hope stares.

Lucas comes back in. The game must be over. Will is devastated. Kate is sorry. Lucas says, "I know Sami has a history of pulling stunts like this, but there is a part of me that can't help thinking that somehow you're involved."

Sami tells Brandon she's not OK. She's lost everything that matters to her, "Kate won. She got exactly what she wanted. Can you imagine the amount of planning that went into this?" Brandon asks if he can help. Sami says, "I think it's better if I keep my distance." Brandon leaves. Sami hyperventilates. She goes into her apartment and rips up the wedding invitation. She crushes her flowers. She bawls.

Jack struggles with the ironing board. In his imagination he tells Jennifer about the message he left. She says she didn't get a message. He accuses Patrick of erasing it, "Patrick has been lusting after you for a long time. The truth is, I am here now and I want my family back. But it's up to you to decide. Who do you want, him or me?"

Billie says she won't be staying with Bo and Hope long. She wants to know why Jen has a problem with that. "Because I heard about the little mix-up this morning, you and Bo NAKED IN THE BATHROOM. Billie laughs it off. Patrick smirks. Billie insists it was innocent.

Hope relents. Billie can stay if she has no other option. Bo asks his usual question, "Do I have to sleep on the couch tonight?"

The doc finally says Mimi's condition isn't life threatening. Rex is relieved. The doc leaves. Mimi is nervous about the laparoscopy. Rex assures her they will have a wonderful future together. He can't wait to have children with her. Mimi gets an instant visit from Devil-Boy, "Another chance, why should you get another chance?"

Jack imagines Jennifer choosing him. She says Patrick and she got close because she thought she had lost him forever, but he is her one true love. The baby cries. Patrick gets a look on his face like the baby needs changing. Jack leads Patrick out. Patrick isn't going without a fight. Jack reminds him Jennifer chose him. Patrick asks, "Whaddya expect her to says when you show up out of the blue." Jack reminds him it's not out of the blue, he left a message but Patrick erased it. Patrick denies it. He's going to stick around until Jennifer admits her true feelings.

Back to reality, "I've gotta get Lockhart out of Jennifer's life. The only way to do that is to get back to Salem." Cap'n Nasty comes in and announces this is Jack's lucky day. They're back on course. And he likes the way the laundry looks. "So we're both happy," says Jack as Cap'n Nasty leaves, "You hear that Jennifer, I'm on my way home."

Billie goes to get her things out of the guest room. Jennifer tells Patrick she hopes she is wrong, "Because I have a terrible feeling this is going to turn out badly."

Hope says Bo will be sleeping with her with a huge bell around his ankle. No sleepwalking.

Lucas tells Kate if he ever finds out she set him up, "We're finished. If I find out this is your doing, you're dead to me."

"No more wallowing," says Sami, "I'm going to get Lucas back. All I have to do is figure out how Kate pulled this off. Lucas and I will get married and Will is going to have the happy family he's always dreamed of, with one notable exception. And that's you Kate. You will live the life of a lonely old woman who never gets to see her son or grandson again."


Previews
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Shawn says, "You love me and you're still trying to hold on to your marriage with Phillip. Are you still in love with him?" Belle answers, "Yes I am."

Kate tells Billie, "I am here for whatever you need. Besides, you have Bo to help you search." Billie says, "I don't think I can count on him anymore."

Brady asks John, "She wouldn't happen to know anything about your drug situation, would she?" John says, "No." Sami, coming in the door, says, "You are so wrong, John."