Wife-Swappers and Bed-Hoppers

Chelsea brings Max 'home' to Bo and Hope's house. They have given her keys to the place to make her feel part of the family. Chelsea is being her usual insipid self, back to being sarcastic about the driving lessons. She decides this would be the perfect time for "a score."

"A score," asks Max, "Score what? Their liquor?"

"Their cash," says the brat, "They've gotta have some cash stashed around here somewhere."

Hope has dumped Zach off with Doug and Julie and gone to visit Jennifer. Jennifer doesn't know what to say to Jo and Vern any more, "I can't even imagine losing both of my sons. And I miss my mom and dad so much. I wish they were here. I know their work in Africa is important but it would be so nice for Abby to have more family here to depend on."

"Abby has the best mom in the world to depend on," says Hope.

Jennifer whispers, "She doesn't have a dad any more." Kleenex time. Jennifer drones on from a used script. Jack is dead but she just can't believe it is true. If you have taped this, make sure your remote has fresh batteries. Then, whenever you see Jennifer, don't even look for a button on it which says, "Fast Forward." Look for one which says, "Afterburners" and let 'er rip.

Hope sees Frankie. He tells her his flight was delayed, but there is a flight later this afternoon he is taking. "I hope you'll cancel it," she says.

Breakfast at the Roberts'. Lucas only makes this special French toast for people he wants to impress. Carrie is flattered. Will is glad to see Carrie back in Salem.

"I'm glad I made it back before your wedding," says Carrie.

The word strikes terror in Will, "Wedding?"

"She just means you've grown up pretty quick, pal," says Lucas.

Will is relieved, "Well, with the mom I got stuck with, I either have to grow up fast or turn to illegal substances. Hey, Dad, can I have some more French toast?"

Sami thanks Austin for the briefcase he gave her. Nicole chimes in, "We all got one, Sami."

"Well," says Sami, "I never had one with my initials engraved on it."

Nicole keeps it up, "That's because you're not a professional."

"Wow," says Sami, "That makes three times Nicole has told me I'm not a professional, and we haven't even finished breakfast."

"She's got a point," says Austin.

Sami fires a shot across the bow, "What's with you, Nicole? Do you miss LA – your staked out corner on Hollywood and Vine?"

Austin referees. He wants to know where their holiday spirit is.

Sami says, "You know, Austin, if you'd have gotten me a little bit more of a personal gift, maybe you could tell me what to do."

"We don't have a personal relationship," says Austin, "We're friends and business partners. Speaking of business, would you call Mickey and see if he can get those papers filed? Today, ladies, is the day we take over Highstyle."

Sami asks if he liked the bathrobe she got him. He did, "But my best Christmas gift this season did not come in a box."

Sami doesn't get it, "I totally agree. It's nice just to be together again."

"Having Carrie back in Salem," he says, "It's all I ever wanted." Sami and Nicole rip the daggers from their hearts.

Marlena isn't in the Christmas spirit either. "No amount of coffee is going to keep me awake," she snorts, "Not after the way you kept Alex and me up last night."

John grumbles, "No way was I going to leave you alone with an abusive man." Alex protests. "Aw, sidown," says John, "You're not going anywhere until the person I invited joins us."

"You let Roman and Kate leave," says Marlena, "Why do you insist on wanting me to believe Alex is dangerous when he's not?"

"You're a smart woman, Doc... I mean Marlena. He's a dangerous man and I can prove it. And no one's going anywhere until I do." Especially John, since Roman and Kate must have taken the car he came in.

Carrie tells Will Sami's OK, she just goes overboard sometimes. Sometimes. "Sometimes," says Will, "Nice try." He says he has to leave.

Lucas tells Carrie sometimes he thinks Will is a freak of nature, what with the influence he's had. Carrie feels awkward about being back in Salem, but still wants to see 'everyone.' They're concerned about Claire. He thinks Carrie is an amazing boss, giving all her employees the holidays off. "The company is my life," she says, "Highstyle kept me together when Mike and I split up. That's why I could never consider selling it."

Lucas flashes back to Sami's rant about Austin taking over Highstyle, "Yeah, I'd hate for anyone to do that to you."

Mickey is on the phone to talk to Austin about the takeover. Nicole takes the opportunity to jab Sami. She wonders if Sami isn't embarrassed she gave Austin a personal gift like a bathrobe. Sami isn't embarrassed at all, "He looks good in that color and it's his size and, after all, I am intimately familiar with Austin's size. I think you're just sorry you didn't get Austin something personal instead of a card holder for his business cards. So every time Austin hands out a business card he'll think of you and every time he gets out of the shower he'll think of me."

"When we take over Highstyle," says Nicole, "We'll see who he is thanking with a bonus and a raise and a personal dinner. He'll start falling for me all over again."

Sami says, "You think you and Austin..." She mouths the words, "are gonna be a couple?" Sami laughs.

Marlena thinks the dangerous ones were John and Roman the way they stormed the cabin last night. John says he was just trying to keep Marlena from getting attacked again. "AGAIN," she asks. John says they will wait for the surprise mystery guest to show up for an explanation.

Marlena insists Alex practically saved her life since her clothes were on fire. Alex reminds John Marlena came with him of her own free will and that is hardly kidnapping.

Max wants to know why Chelsea would want to steal from Bo. "To make up for the last eighteen years," says the little snot, "If he would have been around, think of how much he would have spent on me. And Hope's always trying to convince him I'm a spoiled little brat." Imagine that. "Meanwhile she was born a princess. You should have seen the look on her face when Bo offered to help me with a new car."

"You almost got yourself killed, Chelsea. I don't blame Hope for being worried about you."

"This has nothing to do with being worried," she says.

"You're not immortal just because you're under 21," says Max.

"Did they teach you to say that at racecar school? It's kind of ironic you telling me to slow down when you guys do what 120?"

"It's a sport," says Max, "It's different than being out on the roads. Just look what happened you your parents."

That hit the hot button, "Why does everyone have to keep reminding me of that? Like I don't think about it every single second? Do you think I want anyone to go through what I did? I made a mistake. It's not like I was drunk like that jerk that killed my parents. I'll be more careful next time, OK? And if my parents want to get back on my good side and see their nice little Chelsea again, then they can buy me a new car."

Frankie tells Hope and Jennifer he has to go. He says goodbye and leaves. Hope tells Jennifer she can't figure out why she is letting Frankie go. "Hope, I am not an emotional charity case," yells Jennifer, "I can make it on my own, so are you going to stay and have another cup of coffee with me or not?"

"Sure," says Hope, "but you really don't need any more caffeine."

Hope runs down Frankie, "How can you leave Jennifer and her kids when you promised Jack you would be here for her?" Frankie stares.

Sami howls with laugher. Austin goes into the hallway so he can have some peace and quiet. Nicole wants to know what the joke is. Sami tells her, "You are the joke if you think you will have a future with Austin."

"I think you're having the same dream," says Nicole.

"I have a past with him to base it on," says Sami, "And he's only staying away from me because he's afraid of being burned again. So I'm gonna give him his space. As soon as he starts to feel comfortable with me again, then he will start to get close again, too."

"Sami, he knows you're poison," says Nicole, "And since I've been living here the phone hasn't exactly been ringing off the hook. No sir, no sense in bothering with the woman who's spent more money on wedding gowns than anyone else in Salem."

"Nicole," says Sami, "The phone hasn't exactly been ringing off the hook for you either."

"That's because I have been too busy working to pay attention to any other man than my business partner," says Nicole.

"Maybe I have been to the altar a few too many times," says Sami, "But I have never made my living on my back."

"That was really great, bitch."

Trump card time. Sami drops the Carrie bomb. She's back and Austin is in love with her.

Mrs. Busybody comes to Lucas' door with some mail she received by mistake. She runs through a litany of the despicable goings-on in the apartments. "This place used to be so respectable but now it's full of wife-swappers and bed-hoppers." Carrie gives her the bum's rush.

"Oh," Carrie says, "I forgot about her."

"She's got a point," says Lucas, "You, me, Sami and Austin... what a mess."

Frankie and Hope argue about his reaction to Jennifer's decision. If he thought she wanted him there, his bags would be unpacked in a heartbeat. Frankie has to leave, "If she wants me around here, all she has to do is call."

Hope goes back to work on Jennifer. "Jennifer, Frankie is leaving. He's going to get on that plane. If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life. But you'll always have Paris."

John asks Marlena why she went to the cabin with Alex when her granddaughter could be dying. He says that proves Marlena isn't herself, "And I don't make accusations likely. If you don't want to listen to the truth about Alex, then you listen to the only piece of truth that matters. I love you Marlena. And he doesn't want you to remember the past, because he's afraid of the truth."

"If you know something," says Marlena, "Then why don't you show me now."

John erupts, "BECAUSE THEN WE COULDN'T DRAG THINGS OUT! "

Alex jumps in, "I think Marlena is closer to me now than ever and I have you to thank for that."

Max tells Chelsea he agrees with Hope. She shouldn't have a new car until she is responsible enough to handle it. Chelsea slugs him. She wants a new car before she is 80, "You sound just like that pompous ass I had to listen to for the last two hours."

"Is Mickey teaching your driving class," he asks, "I'm serious. No more doing your hair or talking on the cell phone while you are driving."

"Come on, Max," whines the brat, "Driving is supposed to be fun. It's a time you listen to CD's, catch up with your friends and turn your car into a wadded piece of scrap metal. Everybody does it."

"You just don't get it."

"Well," she says, "I do get that we're all alone in the house for once. It's the perfect opportunity." She kisses him.

Hope and Jennifer... Zap... Zap... Zap... Barf... Frankie says goodbye. He walks out and closes the door. "Yyeeeoooowwwwaaacccckkkk!"

The girls scream in unison, "FRANKIE!!"

Austin comes in for a last minute strategy session. Sami the tycoon can't do it. She has to go over and see if Will got her Christmas presents.

Austin tells Nicole the one thing he feels bad about is not contacting Highstyle's CEO. He's going to make some calls and try to find out who she is.

There is a knock at Lucas' door. Carrie says, "I wonder what the neighbor from hell wants now."

Lucas opens the door. Sami. "Well," says Lucas, "The neighbor from hell. That certainly fits."

Will comes out, "Mom, I'm really busy. What do you want?"

"I wanted to make sure you liked the Christmas gifts I got you."

"Yeah," says Mr. Enthusiasm, "They were on my Christmas list, so they were great."

Carrie butts in, "I'm sure your mom got you those presents because she wanted to make you happy."

Sami becomes the incredible hulk, "DON'T SPEAK FOR MY SON!"

Lucas forces Will to thank his mother. He spits it out and leaves.

Carrie says, "I think Will's just disappointed things didn't work out with the two of you."

"Well," says Sami, "He's not the only one." Sami has to leave.

Carrie asks, "Is Austin down the hall?"

"No," lies Sami, "He's got meetings all day." Out in the hall, Sami bawls.

Frankie fell on the icy walk. Apparently we've been to the doctor and back and we're helping the gimp back into Jennifer's. Jennifer is soooooo sorry, "If you would sue me, you would win," says she says."

"Not if Mickey was my attorney," says Frankie.

Max and Chelsea romp. Max' phone rings. "That might be important," he says.

"And I'm not," says Her Highness.

Max gets the phone, "OMG! Frankie fell and broke his leg!"

Chelsea and Max arrive to help tend to Frankie. Hope asks about Chelsea's driving lessons. Chelsea thinks Hope is just trying to check up on her. Hope tries to smooth things over.

Frankie tells Max, "I'm really getting clumsy, slipping on ice and everything."

Max speculates, "Accidentally on purpose..."

"It's gonna make my trip back to DC uncomfortable," says Frankie.

Hope is aghast, "You're not still going back are you?!"

"It's just a broken leg," says Max, "It's not fatal." Hope and Max gang up on him. "Hey, he says I have a housekeeper, and I couple lady friends who wouldn't mind helping out."

"You're such a liar," says Max, "Frankie's Harem? It just doesn't exist."

Marlena tells John to put up or shut up. John isn't going anywhere. Right on schedule, Dr. Banks shows up. Introductions all around. Marlena wants to know what is going on. "I think the look on Alex' face should give you the answer," says John, "He knows all his crimes against you are about to be exposed."

Lucas tells Carrie she can't waste her time worrying about Sami.

"We're not that different," says Carrie, "We both fell for Austin."

Lucas says, "If you're meant to be with Austin, there is nothing Sami can do or say to stop it."

Carrie says, "That sure won't stop her from trying."

Austin can't believe Highstyle's offices are still closed for the holiday. Nicole vows to turn things around when they take over. Sami comes back. Austin asks if Carrie is over there.

"No," she lies, "She's visiting family. Lucas said he doesn't know when she will be back."

"That's cool," says Austin, "Where were we, Nicole?"

"Getting rid of the CEO of Highstyle."

"No matter what," thinks Sami, "I'm going to protect Austin from Carrie. I know I can do it. I've had plenty of practice keeping them apart."

They all pile on Frankie. He resists. Jennifer's dark side comes out, "Rule number one. No arguing with me. I'm going to make you some hot chocolate."

Frankie is stuck. "It looks like I learned one thing today," says Hope, "The meaning of the term 'lucky break.'"

Marlena defends Alex. John tells her, "Dr. Banks says Alex is a wife-beating SOB, so why don't you listen to what she has to say. And when she is done, the only thing you can do is file charges against Dr. North. Charges that are gonna send him to prison and get him out of your life for good." FF


Previews
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Sami rants, "If Carrie finds out that Austin is interested in her and Austin finds out that Carrie is interested in him, we've lost."

Austin says, "Let's get a cup of hot chocolate and take a walk." Carrie says, "Sounds nice."

Belle says to Shawn, "Ever since Claire got sick, I have felt more connected to you than ever."

"Get away from me," screams Lois. "You lay another hand on her and I will kill you," yells John.