Prevuze

Prevuze: 1/1/05 - 1/1/11

2011-01-01T03:15:00.001-08:00

I started Prevuze recaps six years ago today. It's the anniversary, it's the new year and I've decided now is a fitting time to wrap it up. I began back in '05 as a day-ahead blog. Since the day we lost the satellite in September it has become apparent that it just doesn't work to post recaps after the show has aired. It's time for me to move on to new adventures.

Before I do, I just have to say this has been one hell of a ride. Long story short, you could almost say I started the blog as a joke. It took off like wildfire and, hey, what could I do but keep it going? I really think readers have provided me with at least as much entertainment in your comments and submissions as I hope I have provided you. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

So, for one final time, read on, and I think I can help clear up a few things you read on this blog or saw on Days Of Our Lives in the past few years. Or maybe it'll just make things more confusing. I'm not sure which.

You see, the last six years you have been reading this blog have been... I hate to say "a lie," so perhaps I should say... "inaccurate." I guess now is the time to set you straight about what REALLY happened during that time:

* * * * *

We pan in to see our heroine sleeping. She wakes, rubs her eyes and finally realizes the sound of running water woke her up. She gets up to check it out, goes into the adjoining bathroom and opens the shower door to find her fiancée. He turns and smiles, "Good morning." She gives him a strange look. Although he's dripping wet he hugs her and asks, "Is something wrong? You look troubled."

"All the things I've been through have finally taken their toll on me" she says.

"Tell me all about it," says Mr. Sensitivity.

"Life in Salem isn't easy," she whines, "Think about everything that has happened since all the people in town started dying..."

"...we had funerals, they were buried and then they all showed up alive and said they had been held captive on an island called Melaswen. My God, Alice Horton was even one of them and she died a terrible death by being choked on her own donuts. Until then, everyone in Salem thought the only lethal food in town was either Kate Roberts' brownies or the chowdah at the pub."

"Shortly after that, Sami Brady became Stan. No one ever could figure out how she hid her boobs, though..."

She goes on... and on... and on... She tells him about Brady, Shawn, Rex and Lucas running off to the war zone to rescue Phillip... Phillip losing every body part known to man... Brady, Nicole, Chloe and the flesh-eating bacteria... Mimi and Rex the space alien... Phillip, Belle and their flying motorcycle infested wedding... Shawn and Belle having a hot time in the burning barn... The arrival of Claire and the ensuing "Who's your daddy" scenario... Shawn, Mimi, Phillip and Belle a.k.a. Fred, Ethel, Lucy and Ricky... Sami and Lucas... Sami and Brandon... Sami and Austin... Sami and EJ... Sami and Rafe... Lucas marrying Carrie, and then finding her and Austin doing the "rooftop rumba"... EJ Wells and his ill-fitting towel... EJ forcing himself on Sami (Some say rape... some say true love. In Salem there is a fine line between the two.)... Johnny and Allie, paternal twins with different paternals... Sami and EJ's platonic marriage, their single night of unbridled passion and the arrival of Grace, who turned out to be Sydney, uh, sort of... Sami, Rafe and the safehouse... Rafe's on-again-off again relationship with the FBI, SPD and advanced algebra... Nicole, EJ and the foam rubber pregnancy... Dr. Baker and his crush on Wacky, drugged out Hope... Anna and EJ kidnapping Sydney... Sami and EJ's aborted wedding... Sami shooting EJ's head off only to find nothing but a vacuum... Hope, Patrick and the legend of the wilted petunia... Hope's miracle 12-month pregnancy... Bo, Billie and the gas pit... Bo and Billie’s search for "Georgia"... Finding her as Chelsea Benson, the best thing to hit Salem since that little Bubonic Plague thing... Chelsea the Zack-whacker... Ciara's kidnapping... Carly Manning trying out her new Ronco Slicer-Dicer on her husband Lawrence Alamain... Hope flinging Bo out of their marriage and Bo's ensuing fling with Carly... Chelsea's boyfriend Nick visiting Chelsea's mom Billie and getting more than milk and cookies... Nick the Geek turning into Nick the Freak and killing the evil Trent... Chelsea and Uncle Max... John and Marlena... Patch coming back from the dead... Phillip ripping little Pocket away from Patch and Kayla and giving him to a complete stranger... the arrival of L'il Joe and the departure of Patch and Kayla to Bora-Bora... Racer Stephanie Johnson, fastest gal in Salem on and off the track... Stephanie and Uncle Phillip... Stephanie and Uncle Max... Stephanie's shocking decision to date a non-relative, poor Nathan... Carly and Daniel's one-night-stand, a little mistake that resulted in the big mistake known as Premiere Party Girl Melanie... Melanie and Phillip's big Internet romp... Brady and Clhoe, Phillip and Clhoe, Lucas and Clhoe, Daniel and Clhoe and back to Phillip and Clhoe... How Melanie got a big bang out of her wedding day... Her husband's Phil-andering with Clhoe... Melanie admitting she loves Nathan in a moment of Dungcootie Fever delirium... Stef 'n Ho... Stefano having a stable of ho'z and sampling the wares which resulted in Chad... Victor and Maggie... the great sarcophagization... the sad loss of Alice... Stefano transferring John's mind to disc... the Santo and Colleen story... The tragic plane crash and death of Shawn, Sr. in spite of Robo-John's skillful piloting... Crazed Phillip chasing Belle and Shawn around the world to get Claire... Kate feeding Chloe poison brownies... baby switcheroos... test switcheroos... couple switcheroos... the glove... some crazy story about a body stuffed in a water heater... Touch This Guy Airlines... an adventure in film noir... Belle and Shawn sailing into the sunset... Tek and Lexie disappearing, and Lexie showing up in Stefano's tunnel... Bonnie's escapades with Mickey... The palletization of Tony DiMera...

Suddenly, he can't take it any more...

"STOP!"

He tries to inject some sanity, "Don't you see? It was a dream! None of this happened! You dreamed it all!"

"If none of that is true," she asks, "What happened to all those people?"

He tells her the real story...

"Sami married Lucas. Lucas became a junior accountant at Tidwell's Department Store and spends most of his time there playing practical jokes on his co-workers. Sami got fat and was the first person kicked out this season on "The Biggest Loser."

"Bo and Hope reunited. Bo got fired from his Police Commissioner's job for skimming from the daily donut allotment. Hope was appointed commissioner. She redesigned the Salem Police Department insignia and is now selling it as a line of jewelry on the Home Shopping Network. Bo stays home, cleans house and occasionally pops an old girlfriend who shows up. Hope always forgives him for it because every single time Bo tells her, "I thought it was you."

"Phillip continued to lose body parts. All that is left of him now is a set of false teeth that sit in a jar at the Kiriakis mansion."

"Shawn and Belle returned from their sea voyage. The round-the-world adventure did not diminish Belle's infatuation with Phillip. She moved into the Kiriakis mansion and keeps Phillip's teeth at her bedside. Miraculously, Jan Spears woke from her coma. She and Shawn were last seen heading out of town on his motorcycle."

"Mickey Horton really did die, but they can't find his grave. Maggie married Victor when he promised Titan would buy the National Tattler and put Maggie in charge of it, making her the national gossip instead of the town gossip."

"Melanie stayed with Phillip as he lost body parts, but divorced him when everything below the waist was gone. She married Nathan and they left town. Unfortunately, his fellowship turned out to be at John Hopkins University, not the prestigious Johns Hopkins. He is now a permanent resident at the hospital there and he and Melanie do nothing but perform appendectomies. Their survival rate has risen to 10%."

"It turns out Rafe Hernandez, like his personality, never existed."

"Caroline was disappointed Victor chose Maggie over her. She continues to run the pub, but was recently seen purchasing a sarcophagus."

"Daniel divorced Chloe when he found out the "day care center" she was running provided "care" for husbands who thought their wives were cheating on them. In an effort to mend her ways, Clhoe became a nun, but eventually ran off with Father Matt."

"Daniel and Carly got back together and decided to have another child. They figured anything would have to be a step up from Melanie."

"Patch and Kayla stayed in Bora-Bora because they found out not only could Stephanie not find her butt with both hands, she also couldn't find Bora-Bora on a map."

"Vivian left the Kiriakis mansion. She perfected her sarcophagus equipped with high-definition TV, cameras and communication devices. Then she added a few other amenities and sold the concept to Apple Computer, which will market the device, calling it the iCoffin.

"Tom and Alice were reunited in heaven, but are very lonely up there since they never see anyone from Salem."

"Johnny ran off and joined the circus. He now thrills crowds juggling two bowling balls and a glass eye."

"Finding out Stephanie was no longer with Nathan, Ian the geek immediately moved in with her. Together, they wrote a new computer billing system for St. Mary’s hospital. St. Mary's went out of business in December."

"Stef 'n Ho reconciled. Stefano figured at his age it was the best he could do and Kate figured at her age she needed their combined wealth to support her Botox treatments."

"Gus and Chris both came out of the closet and got together. They opened an upscale brownie boutique and on occasion provide special orders for Stef 'n Ho's enemies."

"Billie slowly recovered from her injuries and offered to test drive any of Chelsea's boyfriends. In the meantime, Chelsea and Max had a kid. This caused a minor falling out when they couldn't decide if he was Max' grandnephew or Chelsea's cousin."

"Mimi got back together with Rex and they returned to his planet Kevlar in the Gemini constellation."

"Nick and Patrick both remain in prison where Patrick entertains him by telling him wilted flower legends."

"Abe and Lexie split up when Abe lost his mayorship for appearing on the reality show "Name That Senator" with Rod Blagojevich. Lexie miraculously found Tek waiting for her in the same ditch they wrecked their car in years ago and they ran off together."

"Will and Gabi fell in love and got married. They waited to have sex until after the wedding and for that disgusting act were banished from Salem forever."

"Jack and Jennifer reunited and came back to Salem, where Jack continues to die and come back to life on a regular basis."

"John recovered from his injuries but he and Marlena couldn't make it work because Marlena, like everyone else in the world, preferred Robo-John to real John. Marlena got back together with Alex North (who everyone knew didn't die in that fall). She later said she went back to Alex because for some reason he reminded her of Roman Brady. John went back to the ISA, where he now teaches new recruits to squint."

"Unexpectedly, EJ and Nicole remarried and even more unexpectedly, Nicole got pregnant. Unfortunately things went south when EJ discovered it wasn't a fake pregnancy. Nicole immediately went back to Brady. Together they entered a 12-step program and got all the way to step two before falling off the wagon."

"Doug and Julie became the town patriarch and matriarch. The Disney Corporation re-released the Davy Crockett series with Doug singing its signature "Ballad of Davy Crockett," just as he did many years ago ( Click here to listen.). Doug made so much money on the royalties he and Julie re-opened Doug's place."

"And here's the most unbelievable thing of all: Anna DiMera came back to Salem, renewed her relationship with Roman and after all these years Roman Brady finally got laid."

* * * * *

Stunned, she asks, "So none of the things I remember ever happened."

"None of it," he says, "It was all a dream."

She sighs, "What a relief."

He embraces her, "I love you, Pam."

She smiles, "And I love you, Bobby Ewing."

* * * * *Epilog

Writing this blog has been a world of fun. Readers, contributors and commenters have made it work. I toast you all:

"Amidst our mirth we toast to all
free thinkers o'er the Earth,
On every shore our flag of love
is gloriously unfurled.
We prize each one, fair or dark,
from hill and dale to plain,
Happy to meet, sorry to part,
never to meet again."

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

The Most Hateful Bastard On The Face Of The Earth

2010-12-31T11:05:00.001-08:00

Chloe holds Parker as Daniel comes into the apartment. Chloe stares. Daniel stares. It's not exactly a Kodak moment, unless you're a reporter for the Salem Tattler.

Brady reacts to the news that Nicole is marrying EJ, "Holy crap."

Vivian points out that Brady and Nicole are, "still having their way with each other, as it were."

Victor informs Maggie Phillip is the Parker's father. Maggie can't wait to get this lollapalusa to her bridge club. Victor is upset that Caroline played God with his family, "Everyone knows that’s my job."

Daniel tells Chloe about Caroline's stroke and says he wants to hold Parker. Don't drag me into this," says Parker, "I just got here." Chloe fakes to the halfback and hands him off to Daniel.

Melanie says, "I want to wake up and have someone say this is a nightmare." Phillip says he loves her and puts a hand on her shoulder.

POW!

Carly thinks Kayla is accusing her of causing Caroline's stroke. She reminds Kayla Caroline isn't innocent in this.

Melanie is on a rage roll, "Go to hell. We are done." Phillip insists they will never be done.

Daniel holds a picture and tosses it in the trash, "It's just you and me, Chloe. So talk. For once, tell me the truth."

Chloe insists she had no idea what Caroline did until today. Daniel says things are making a sort of sick sense, like the patient at St. Mary’s was her. Chloe admits it. She moves toward him. Daniel freaks, "DO NOT TOUCH ME!"

There isn't' much touching with Melanie and Phillip, either. Phillip tells her it was just once. Melanie screams, "I can't believe you just said that you disgusting womanizing creep!"

"There was a reason," says Phillip, "I thought you had betrayed me."

Oh, so it's my fault," says Melanie, "So you decided you had to have unprotected sex because of your undying love for me. Do you think I'm gonna buy this? No more lies! Just shut up and leave me alone."

Phillip consults the Guy Manual. Even that can't get him out of this one, though.

Brady claims Nicole marrying EJ doesn't upset him. Translation: it upsets him. He reminds her Sydney isn't her daughter and that won't change if she moves in with EJ. Nicole says she'll be satisfied if she can just be with Sydney. She says she loves Brady and things don't have to change between them. "Things will change," says Brady,"You're marrying the most hateful bastard on the face of the earth."

"We can keep doing what we're doing," says Nicole, "Two for the price of one... that's suits me."

EJ says Vivian it too kind to bring him this information. She sends her best to Johnny and leaves. EJ looks at the pictures and slams them on the table.

Maggie admits Caroline made a bad decision but says this is all Clhoe's fault. Victor says Caroline, Clhoe and Carly, The Three "C's" of deception are responsible.

Nicole says she knows EJ will think those pictures are doctored, "So that gives us time to figure things out." She moves in and shows him how to start figuring.

Kayla defends Caroline. Carly knows Kayla won't change her mind about this. Kayla tells her she's right.

Melanie backs Phillip off. Can you imagine? She's not buying the fact he slept with Chloe because he loves her. Phillip gets a text from Bo, "Tell her you thought it was her. It works for me every time." Phillip snivels and begs. Melanie says she feels sorry for Parker, "His daddy may have a lot of money, but he has no soul."

"Usually money makes up for having no soul," says Phillip.

Chloe says, "After my hysterical pregnancy I wasn't in my right mind." Or before, either. Daniel goes into a rage worthy of Sami Brady. Chloe continues to try to defend herself, "Tell me you understand I believed all that."

"You were supposed to believe in me," screams Daniel, "And I know you were tricked."

Chloe asks if he can ever forgive her. Nope. Negatory. Nosiree.

Daniel gets quiet and contemplative. He remembers all the times the wedding was on and off and wonders if she was waiting for a paternity test. She says she wasn't but it was because she was trying to talk Carly out of blabbing, but eventually Carly agreed to keep the secret if the baby was Daniel's. Daniel wonders if this is why Father Matt was reluctant to marry them. He also wonders if she confided in Nicole, "So all these people knew but they kept it from me?" Yeppers.

Phillip agrees Parker deserves better than him for a father. Melanie says, "Then it's a good thing I'm not pregnant." Translation: I wonder how far along she is. Phillip tells her if he loses her he'll lose everything. In reality that means he must not have a whole lot, "Do you still love me."

Melanie sniffs, "BAWL... yes."

Nicole is back with EJ and says she thinks his proposal is a great idea. She agrees to marry him. EJ isn't as enthusiastic and he shows her the naughty pictures.

Carly and Kayla toss resentments at each other. Carly asks how Kayla knows so much about this. Kayla tells her to stay out of her life.

Melanie says she will always love Phillip, "But even if I could forgive you for what you did to me, how could I forgive you for what you did to my father."

Chloe says she knows Daniel still loves Parker Kiriakis. She totally falls apart and says they can still have a life together. She grabs him and plants a big one.

Kate finds Brady in the den, "I have had an epiphany. I think we're acting like fools and cowards." Fools and cowards and bears, Oh my! "Vivian is bebopping around Salem plotting against us while we sit here waiting for the other shoe to drop."

Brady says he gets it, "I just got a hell of an idea."

Nicole claims the pix are Photoshopped. She says Vivian already showed him those and that's why she wasn't shocked when he pulled them out. EJ says she has lied to him for the last time. Translation: The last time this hour.

Phillip says he realizes this is about more than him and Melanie, "It's about your father, too. But don't forget Daniel slept with Chloe when she was engaged to Lucas."

"Don't go there," says Melanie, "My dad is a good, honest low-thario. He and Maggie are all I have left in the world." She stomps out.

Daniel pushes Chloe away and tells her not to do that again. Too many times, that is. He leaves as Chloe begs him not go go and tosses her last shred of self respect out the window.

Maxine tells Kayla they're starting rehab on Caroline. Kayla follows her to Caroline's room. Victor comes up and asks Carly how she can live with herself.

Brady reminds Kate about Vivian poisoning her coffee all those years ago and leaving her for her fish slicing adventure.

EJ rages about Nicole bringing Brady home. Nicole says she loves Sydney but needs to be loved, too. EJ says she will suffer the consequences for what she did.

Carly reminds Victor his entire life has been a travesty. "Good thing Bo left you to rescue his wife," says Victor, "At least he's finally gotten a little class."

Melanie wheels her suitcase out. As she opens the door, Daniel stands there. He tells her he knew Phillip was unfaithful, but didn't realize it was with Chloe. Likewise, Melanie knew Chloe was unfaithful, but didn't know it was with Phillip. She doesn't want Daniel pointing out no stinkin' silver linings in this situation, either, "because there isn't one."

Phillip shows up at Chloe's place. Chloe says she doesn't want him there when Daniel comes back. "He's not coming back," says Phillip, "And Melanie isn't coming back to me."

Nicole asks EJ to hear her out. EJ isn't in a listening mood.

Nicole asks to see Sydney one last time, but EJ says she is napping, so Nicole starts to sulk out. EJ stops her and says he's giving her one last chance to choose. Translation: It may be her last chance, but you can bet it's not her last last chance.

Chloe insists Daniel is coming back to her. Daniel says he's there to see his son. "Tyler isn't here," says Chloe.

Melanie says Phillip and Clhoe don't deserve to have Parker. Suddenly she realizes Daniel is legally Parker's father, "Take Parker away from them."

Brady and Kate reconnoiter at the pub. Brady tells her Victor has many private islands and one is so small and insignificant it's uninhabited. "Not for long," says Kate. I'll bet its name is Sikairik.

Nicole is skeptical, but George Bush the elder comes into the room and announces, "Read my lips... This is the kinder, gentler EJ DiMera."

EJ says she has to choose between marrying him or being with Brady. He moves in on her gives her his best seductive voice and grabs her butt... then yanks her cell phone out of her back pocket. He tosses the phone at her, "Either call Brady or get out."

Previews
========

Phillip tells Chloe, "Everything is different now."

Melanie flings a picture.

Sami says to EJ and Nicole, "She's a total lowlife bitch." Nicole flings her drink at her.

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Rumpy Pumpy

2010-12-30T11:02:00.000-08:00

Longtime St. Luke's handyman Dwayne Pipe and his young, enthusiastic trainee Igor Beaver haul the large piece of equipment into the church narthex and begin to set it up. Assisted by his surly right-hand man Keith Myath, Dwayne lugs the big fan into the center of the room as Igor plugs it in. Keith flips the switch and the massive blades begin to whirl. Once the fan picks up speed, the remaining crew members York Rapp, Harly Workin and Chuck Depou each grab a big shovelful of the fresh pile of cow manure sitting behind the fan. At the appointed moment, the boys bring their shovels into position and...

At the same time the sanctuary doors open. The entire christening party stands there as Kayla shouts at Caroline, "YOU'VE GOT TO TELL EVERYONE THAT DANIEL IS NOT THE FATHER OF CHLOE'S BABY!"

SPLAT!

The poo hits the fan and the fun begins.

Vivian is in the den with Gus talking about Brady and Nicole having "rumpy pumpy" at the DiMera mansion without closing the curtains. Vivian plots her revenge as Brady walks in and challenges her.

Nicole can't believe EJ proposed. He confirms it. Nicole thinks he's funnin' her, but EJ assures her he's on the level.

Chloe asks what Caroline and Kayla are doing. Daniel asks for clarification. Clhoe insists the pair have no idea what they are talking about. Daniel insists on an explanation.

Daniel's voice shakes as he asks Maggie to take Parker from him. Phillip and Chloe protest. Melanie quivers. Daniel demands an explanation. Phillip tries to get Caroline out, but she just about puts him in need of another artificial body part. "It's the truth Daniel," says Caroline.

"Who is the father," asks Daniel.

Caroline points at Phillip. Chloe gasps.

Vivian asks to speak to Brady alone. Gus leaves. Vivian tells him he's a vodka soaked loser and can't be a Don Quixote saving his Dulcenea. Brady hands her an envelope.

Nicole says it's never dull with EJ around. He says he's not proposing a conventional marriage, but more or less an arrangement. She will get to be Sydney's mother, however. And Johnny's. With EJ there, she'd have three children to take care of. He says what's in it for him is symmetry.

"In other words, I complete you," says Nicole.

"I suppose you do."

Nicole wonders what he is up to.

Phillip gets nasty with Caroline. He and Victor wonder if she's just trying to get even with Victor for his past sins. Caroline grits her teeth and spits it all out, "I know, because I changed the paternity test results myself."

Chloe insists it's not true. "Chloe had the test because she was unfaithful with Phillip."

"You mean she even cheated on him, too? She's right, isn't she," asks Daniel. "ISN'T SHE?" He heads for Phillip...

WHAM!

Brady has photoshopped the photos of Nicole and him. "Are you trying to prove Nicole is more of a whore than she really is," asks Vivian. Brady says he's going to show them to prove she phonied up the pictures. He tells Vivian she's been beaten at her own game.

Nicole plops into a chair and says EJ has swept her off her feet. She goes for a drink and EJ orders her to stop, "You get to be Sydney's mother and all I ask is that you be an exemplary mother. You have to stop drinking and screwing around."

"You're hard to resist when you talk so sweet," says Nicole.

A gal in the audience yells, "And he's hard to resist anytime."

Nicole thinks this is about EJ trying to drive Sami crazy.

Dan attacks Phillip, "I told you I'd kill you!"

Melanie grabs him and tells him not to do anything stupid, for a change, "Do not make me go through this alone."

Phillip begs. Melanie ignores. Daniel turns on the rage afterburners. Phillip suggests they take it outside. He'll be lucky to live until he gets outside.

Daniel pontificates about being in the house of God. Phillip insists it isn't true, but Daniel tells him to be a man about it. Carly has to restrain him. Melanie goes for Clhoe and accuses Carly of knowing this the whole time.

Daniel asks if Carly knew. Carly wants to be left alone. She swears she didn't know who the father was. To cut to the chase, Daniel and Melanie figure out that everyone knew everything — except them, of course. Phillip's pants burst into flame as he continues to insist he couldn't possibly be the father.

Caroline swoons.

Brady tells Vivian she screwed up and he leaves. Vivian tries to convince herself she can handle EJ.

Nicole asks, "What about the money?"

EJ says she never changes, but she’ll be looked after nicely, "If I die, however, you get nothing. You have a decision to make."

Caroline gets worse. "Somebody call a doctor," Daniel, Kayla and Carly scream in unison. Caroline continues to have a meltdown.

Nicole says, "I don't see us as soul mates." Cellmates, maybe. EJ gives her until the end of the day to make up her mind. He leaves. Nicole turns on the waterworks, "What is Brady going to say?"

Vivian says she's heading for Chez DiMera.

Caroline has completely collapsed and is lying on a pew. Kayla tries to comfort her. Comforting — she can do that... giving her medical attention is out of Kayla’s league.

Phillip and Victor leave. Victor lectures him and says he can't believe Phillip did this, "I thought you had grown up and started using your brain instead of your..."

"With me they're one in the same," says Phillip.

Melanie comes out. Phillip calls for her. "Phillip, go somewhere... like hell," says Melanie. Carly comes out, chases Phillip off and swears she didn't know it was Phillip. "You never lie, do you," asks Melanie.

Nicole guzzles booze. Her phone rings and she picks up. Brady asks her to come to the pier. Nicole says she's got news.

Kayla fills Dr. Ben in on the details of what happened to Caroline. Ben asks, "Does she have a history of TIA's."

"No," says Kayla, "Just FIM's."

"FIM's?"

"Foot in mouths."

"Knowing you, I'd say it must be hereditary," says Ben.

Ben goes into Caroline's room and Daniel tells him he can’t be involved in the case. Daniel comes out into the waiting area. Kayla says, "I am so sorry." Daniel walks off.

Back in the sanctuary Carly offers to take Melanie home. Melanie says that's an awkward suggestion, "I'm not really sure where home is. I could come back to your place and we could catch up on all the things you've been lying about. In the last 20 minutes I've lost my husband, my brother and Caroline might die. Who knows what will happen to Caroline. You're really not my top priority right now."

Clhoe is on the phone with Maggie. She says she'll be home in a few minutes. Phillip finds her and Chloe huffs out.

Victor worries Bo might find out about Caroline and try to visit her, "You know what an idiot he is." Phillip wonders what they can do next.

Victor asks, "Why Chloe?"

Phillip asks, "Have you seen those knockers?" He explains how everything happened.

Victor lectures, "You were an imbecile. You are tied to that slut forever. Have you ever heard of a condom? Your priority needs to be Melanie." Victor stomps off.

Ben tells Kayla Caroline is stable. "A stable is where she belongs," says Kayla, "Her mouth is as big as a horse's."

Melanie broods. She says she thought having a family would make her problems go away but all it did was give a bunch of people a way to hurt her. She asks Carly to leave her alone. Carly sulks off. Phillip comes in with 'guilt' written all over his artificial face.

Nicole meets Brady at the pier. He tells her Vivian is planning to take the pictures to EJ. He says he thinks Vivian won't want to shove them in front of EJ with what's going on with Johnny and that will buy them some time. Nicole drops the proposal bomb.

Vivian shows up at the DiMera mansion. She hands EJ a giant teddy bear for Johnny as she walks in, "I am so fond of Stefano, I felt a responsibility to tell you that you've been had." She hands him the pictures, "Nicole and Brady have made quite the fool of you." EJ peeks at the pix.

Maggie finds Victor at the hospital. He tells her Caroline had a stroke and that what she said at the church is true, "Phillip is the father." Maggie has her own private stroke and wonders why Caroline got into this. Victor tells her Caroline changed the results, "She said she did it so another Kiriakis couldn't ruin another life. She did this out of hatred for me. I don't know if I want her to survive."

A nurse tells Carly Caroline had a good kind of stroke. Ask Caroline if she thinks it was a good stroke.

Kayla tells Carly this is her fault.

Back at the church, Melanie spits fire at Phillip, "How could you do this?"

Previews
========

Brady says to Nicole, "You're marrying the most hateful bastard on the face of the planet."

Dan confronts Chloe. "For once, tell me the truth."

Melanie wails at Phillip, "Just shut up and leave me alone."

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Standing By To Renounce Satan

2010-12-29T11:13:00.000-08:00

Sami and Nicole trade wisecracks and insults as per yesterday until Sami loses it and...

ARE YOU READY TO RRRUUUMMMBBBLLLEEE???

Ladies and gentlemen, for the WCA* world champeenship, in this corner, weighing... well, we don't divulge that... Miss Sami "The Sniveler" Brady Hernandez, vs. Nicole "Misty Circle" Walker! And they're off...

EJ walks up and soaks it all in, "Wow! This is better than those stag movies Father and I were watching last night."

*World Catfight Association

Kayla and Caroline are still going at it in the pub. You've heard it all before. Kayla thinks Caroline should blab. Caroline thinks Kayla should shut up. Kayla is shocked to find out no one knows the paternity test secret, "You didn't tell anyone you switched the paternity tests."

Back in the foreign land known as church, Phillip gushes over Parker and says Daniel and Chloe belong together, "I'm sure Daniel doesn't mind sloppy ~~seconds~~ twelfths."

Carly and Daniel also talk about Parker as Victor gets a call and excuses himself. Melanie and Maggie talk about the sadness of having Bo and Hope missing and the possibilities of additional babies in the future.

Rafe tells Victor over the phone he's calling to keep him out of jail.

Back at the hospital, World War III continues...

Kayla and Caroline are doing pretty well staging their own world war, too.

Chloe gets off the phone with Father Matt and tells everyone he'll be later than he thought. Well, everyone decides they can stay. "The godparents are standing by to renounce Satan whenever Father Matt gets here," says Phillip.

Daniel thanks everyone for coming and gets all mushy about it.

No mushiness at the hospital... Orderlies pull the contestants apart. EJ watches.

OK, guess what Caroline and Kayla are arguing about. Adrienne comes in and has a happy reunion with Kayla. "Kayla has come back to put us all back on the path of righteousness," says Caroline. Adrienne announces she knew about the big switcheroo, too.

Stephanie and Nathan are on the plane... in first class, contemplating joining the mile-high club.

Rafe says the state police have made finding Bo and Hope their first priority and will be all over anyone who tries to help them. He says he knows Victor has his men out looking for them and should be careful. Victor is noncommittal.

The crowd at the church continues to wait. Not that Chloe is uncomfortable to be in church, but she bursts into flame and pukes green bile. Chloe asks Daniel to take some time off and go somewhere. Just the three of them. Victor returns. Maggie joins him and he tells her there was no news about Bo and Hope. Neither of them can believe Bo and Hope would leave Ciara behind. Maggie is sure Victor would rather be out helping them.

The orderlies hold Sami and Nicole back as they continue to scream at each other. Nicole settles down but Sami continues her meltdown and the orderlies call for security to bring restraints.

Kayla continues to be holier than thou. Well, holier than everybody, actually. Adrienne and Caroline gang up on her.

Melanie and Phillip kid about names for their baby. If it's a boy Melanie wants to name him Phillip. Since Parker is taken by another of Phillip's sons.

Maggie tells Carly Victor hasn't heard anything about Bo and Hope. She thinks Carly must feel alone right now. "I have Melanie," says Carly.

"It doesn't get more lonely than that," says Maggie.

Victor waxes eloquent about holding Daniel at his christening. He goes totally maudlin and patches things up a bit with Chloe. Everyone sings Kubayah as Father Matt walks in.

Phillip says, "Time to get this show on the road, Parker."

Parker says, "Yeah... if you call DOOL a show."

Nicole licks her wounds as EJ comes up. He says Sydney has a clean bill of health and asks what happened to Nicole. Nicole says she bumped into Sami. Several times... over and over... well, mainly she bumped into Sami's fist, "She went postal." EJ thinks Nicole should press charges. Nicole sloughs it off, but EJ insists.

Rafe interrupts a phone call with Roman as they haul in Slammin' Sami. Sami tells him about Nicole, "We have to do something."

Stephanie flashes back to arguing with Kayla and telling her if Melanie finds out, she’ll run to Nathan. Nathan wonders if problem-plagued Chloe will make a good mom. He says it bothers him that Chloe cheated on Daniel, "She doesn't deserve Daniel." Stephanie asks he can forgive her.

The christening gets going for Parker Daniel.

Meanwhile, Stefano plays with himself... uh, I mean plays chess with himself, as EJ comes in.

Rafe lectures Sami for attacking Nicole in public, "It would be better if you beat the crap out of her where there are no witnesses," he says, "The only reason you haven’t been arrested is you're related to half the police force and sleeping with the other half." Nicole storms in and demands Sami go to jail.

Kayla... Caroline... Adrienne... sameo, sameo. Adrienne gets a call and leaves. Caroline and Kayla continue to whine at each other. "I just don't know how much more we can take," says Caroline.

"Neither do we," scream the viewers.

Father Matt continues...

EJ tells Stefano what happened at the hospital. Stefano says all this confirms Sami is mentally unstable. "Not possible," says EJ, "Being mentally unstable requires a mind." He suggests he can manipulate Sami into doing this over and over.

Nicole tells Rafe Sami attacked her and it took two orderlies to pull her off. Nicole claims it was all Sami's fault. "Looks like a case of 'she said... she said,'" concludes Rafe.

Kayla and Caroline have settled down and are sitting together. In some circles this is known as the lull before the storm.

Nathan says he can't judge Chloe. "I grew up without a dad and had a great mom. I know it was hard for her and don't know if Chloe is up to it," he judges.

EJ says he has another plan... he'll destroy Sami's self control and watch her self destruct. Stefano tells him not to underestimate Samantha. EJ says he'll use her tenacity against her. Stefano counsels caution, but EJ insists Sami will fall apart, if she has any parts left.

Rafe says he'll arrest Nicole if she presses charges against Sami. Nicole backs off, but threatens to have Sami arrested if she attacks her again, then stomps out.

Caroline and Kayla rev the argument up again. Caroline says she has examined her conscience and found she doesn't have one. She storms off and Kayla whines to herself.

Father Matt baptizes ~~Chloe's~~ Rosemary's baby.

Sami thanks Rafe, "Nicole makes me so mad I can't even talk."

"Don't I wish that were true," says Rafe. He tells her it won't be like this forever. Sami admits she blew it and it won't happen again. Translation: Tickets for the rematch go on sale tomorrow.

Nicole tells EJ what happened at the cop-shop. EJ thinks it went well and thinks Nicole has put Sami on notice she can't mess with her.

Back on the plane Nathan sorts through the souvenir revealing TSA pictures of Stephanie and tells her eventually lies catch up with you.

Sami thinks she can "go all zen" and distance herself from Nicole. Even Rafe sees through that one. Sami has another meltdown and starts throwing things. Rafe snaps her out of it and tells her to think about her kids, "Just breathe..."

"BREATHE," screams Sami, "That's your advice? EJ will kick Nicole out. I know it."

EJ says he has something he wants Nicole to do, "I want you to marry me."

Father Matt continues the ceremony as Kayla and Caroline arrive at the church. The doors to the sanctuary swing open so everyone can hear as Kayla screams, "You have got to tell Daniel that he is not the father of Chloe's baby."

Previews
========
Nicole asks EJ, "The question is, why me? What are you up to?"

Vivian says, "I can handle EJ DiMera."

Dan attacks Phillip, "I told you I'd kill ya!"

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Your Arrogant Self

2010-12-28T11:03:00.000-08:00

Sami putters around the Hernandez Hovel as Rafe comes in and gushes about the great job she did putting Christmas together for the rest of her brood. Speaking of brooding, Sami remembers sneaking over to the DiMera mansion, standing there pathetic and shivering as Nicole had Christmas with Johnny and Sydney. She starts to tell all to Rafe, but he stops her and says he already knows about it.

Nicole plays with Sydney in the rumpus room. EJ strolls in and says Johnny had a rough night. Nicole reminds him she'd do anything to be with Sydney. EJ says Sydney has an appointment with an eye doctor for a precaution and asks her to take Sydney there. Nicole agrees and EJ says he'll meet her at the hospital, but then she remembers Chloe's baby's christening is this morning. EJ gets nasty and says he'll get Mary to take her instead.

Daniel walks in with Parker. Chloe tells him her faith is really important to her. It really meant something both times she actually went to church.

Stephanie and Caroline talk about Stephanie and Nathan moving to Baltimore. Caroline tells Stephanie she did the right thing by clamming up. Anytime Stephanie clams up it's the right thing.

Nathan pops up to the nurses' station and Maxine wishes him luck on his new adventure. She leaves and Melanie comes up and asks, "What are you going to do in Baltimore?"

"Stephanie."

Phillip comes into the Kiriakis den and Victor says he wants to talk to him about being Parker's godfather. Phillip says he knows the responsibilities, but Victor adds to his laundry list, "You may have to step in and be his father. Are you ready for that?"

Stephanie reiterates she won't tell. "Your mom is halfway across the world and no one will know now," says Caroline. Stephanie turns to leave. Caroline smiles.

Kayla calls Patch from the Salem airport saying she can't wait to surprise the family.

Godmother Carly comes in. Daniel smells something and goes to change the diapers. He decides to change Parker's while he's at it. Carly encourages Chloe to keep her chin up since Daniel is Parker's father.

Nathan tells Melanie he and Stephanie are flying out today to find an apartment. "I'll miss your arrogant self," says Melanie.

"I'll miss your big fat mouth," says Nathan. They hug as Stephanie watches.

Nicole tells EJ Chloe is her only friend. EJ says Sydney has to be Nicole's first priority. "Fine, your majesty, I will cancel with Chloe," says Nicole, "Nothing is more important to me than Sydney." She takes Sydney and heads out.

Rafe says he figured out what Sami was up to when she left church. He says he's not mad, "EJ is being a tool."

"Well," says Sami, "He certainly has the IQ of a garden tool, especially now that he only has half a brain." Sami laments the fact she didn't get to be with her kids on Christmas Eve, and the fact that Nicole was there, "Johnny is recovering and I can't (say it with her) be there for him. I couldn't get through it without you either. I have to take Allie to the hospital for her appointment." Rafe says there is nothing to worry about. He'd go but he has to meet with Roman about Bo and Hope. They smooch and Rafe tells her to stay out of trouble. "What possibly could go wrong," asks Sami. Translation: "What could possibly go right?"

Victor tells Phillip about his adventures being Daniel's godfather. He urges Phillip to think about his responsibilities. Phillip assures him he'll be fine. Victor says the lecture's over. Phillip tells him he hopes he's as good a godfather as Victor has been. Maggie walks in.

Stephanie joins Nathan and Melanie. Melanie wishes them well and says she has to go to the christening. Stephanie asks if all is well with Daniel and Chloe. Melanie says she didn't blab, "Why would I want to ruin all they have?"

"Because you're you."

Stephanie and Nathan leave. Melanie stares.

Roman is with Caroline. She wonders why Bo would help Hope. Roman dunno. Rafe comes in and tells them Sami's under stress. Caroline says, "Johnny needs his mother."

"He needs an eye worse," says Roman.

"The next time EJ comes in I'm lacing his chowdah with rat poison," says Caroline.

"How is that different from your old recipe," asks Roman.

Rafe tells them about Sami sneaking over to the DiMera mansion to see her kids. They can't believe how pathetic that is.

Sami and Allie bustle into the waiting area to find Nicole and Sydney.

Maggie says Chez Rouge is catering a reception at the Kiriakis mansion for the christening and she's there to check things out. She invites Phillip to move back in to her place. Victor offers to move in instead. Phillip leaves. They both commiserate about the crappy Christmas they just had. Maggie asks if Vivian served her famous fruitcake.

"When Vivian is around there is no need for additional fruitcake," says Victor. She asks about Vivian living there with all of them. Victor wonders if living alone is dull for Maggie. Maggie sidesteps and asks if Victor can do anything about Bo and Hope.

Chloe gets off the phone and says Nicole can't make the christening. Daniel wonders if that's a bad thing.

Kayla peers into the pub and walks in.

Allie goes to say hi to Sydney. Nicole tells Sami Sydney is there to get her eyes examined. With any luck, Sami and Nicole are there to get their heads examined.

Nicole refuses to let Sami hold Sydney. She stomps off and Allie wants to know why. Sami tells her it's complicated. Of course to Sami a light switch is complicated.

Melanie and Phillip arrive at Daniel and Chloe's. Daniel gives Phillip a knowing nod and shakes his head. Phillip assures Carly Victor has his men on the case and nothing will happen to Bo and Hope.

"And," says Melanie, "I am (say it with her) here for you."

Stephanie and Nathan are back at the pier to take one last look at the bodies floating by. Stephanie tells him her home is wherever he is and Melanie isn't.

Roman says he doesn't trust the state cops. Kayla bops in. "What happened to Bo and Hope," asks Kayla.

Caroline gasps, "Kayla! What are you doing here?"

Chloe announces she can't get Parker into his gown. Parker screams from the bedroom, "I ain' wearin' no dress!" Melanie and Carly rush in to help. Phillip tells Daniel about Victor's godfather lecture, "I'm gonna (say it with him) be there for Parker." Daniel says Phillip needs to remember his generosity was a one-time offer.

"I understand," says Phillip, "The next time I fool around, I'll be more careful."

The girls walk out. Melanie says to Daniel, "When Parker grows up, you're not allowed to tell Parker he went to his first christening in drag." She hands Parker to Phillip.

Everyone welcomes Kayla. Roman gives her the newspaper so Kayla can read all about Bo and Hope. He says he's taken a leave of absence and Rookie Rafe is acting commander.

Lexie and EJ come into an exam room. Lexie tells him to stop worrying. EJ worries. Lexie asks, "How's Johnny doing?"

"Not as bad off as me," says EJ, "I'm blind in one eye and can't see out of the other." Lexie wonders if there's some hanky panky going on with Nicole at the DiMera mansion.

Sami asks Maxine for a new patient questionnaire. Maxine gives it to her. Nicole walks up and says they took Sydney for a scan. Sami gets gnarly about Sydney going through it without her mom. They argue, "If you hadn’t shot EJ I wouldn't be the only mother your kids have," says Nicole. She tells Sami she's living with EJ again.

Clhoe wheels Parker into the sanctuary. Father Matt wonders if Chloe has told Daniel about the "problem with Phillip."

Chloe asks, "If I'm not in a state of Grace does that mean you won't baptize my child?"

Rafe and Roman start to head back to work. Kayla says she's glad Roman and Caroline are on good terms. Roman wonders why they wouldn't be. Caroline has a stroke and Roman leaves. Caroline tells Kayla about Stephanie and Nathan leaving and suggests Kayla call Stephanie. Kayla wants to talk to Caroline first. For the first time in a long time, Caroline isn't in a talking mood.

EJ says there is nothing going on between Nicole and him. He says Nicole paid for what she did and is good with Sydney, "Sami is not part of the equation. I make the decisions for my children."

Sami says Nicole made a fool out of EJ and he wouldn't take her back. Nicole says they aren't together in that way. Nicole starts talking about caring about Johnny and Sydney. Sami tells her to shut her mouth, "Or I will shut it for you."

The audience chants, "CAT-FIGHT! CAT-FIGHT!"

Stephanie and Nathan languish in bed. Nathan says, "I'll spend all the Days Of Our Lives making you happy."

Father Matt says, "It's not Parker's fault his mom is a damn 'ho, so of course I'll baptize him." He leaves to go to the hospital. As he goes, Clhoe tells him she'll wait for him. The crowd walks in and Chloe says Father Matt will be back.

Caroline keeps changing the subject. Kayla wants to know how everyone reacted when they found out Phillip was the father.

Roman is surreptitiously on the case. "I just want to (say it with him) be there for Bo and Hope," he says, "And I can't believe Sami finally married someone I like." He leaves. Rafe checks his phone and wonders if it's a good thing he hasn't heard from Sami.

Nicole says she's in Sydney's life thanks to Sami. Sami says soon Nicole will be on the outside looking in with EJ. Nicole insinuates Rafe will get tired of Sami. Sami snorts, "I ain' takin' no stuff from a porn star!"

Nicole counters by wondering how Johnny and Sydney will take it when they figure out Sami shot their dad. That does it...

KA-POW!

It's a rolling, screaming, hair-pulling, knock-down-drag-out catfight! The girls bounce across the room gouging, biting and girl-slapping each other as EJ comes up and soaks it all in. "All we need," thinks EJ, "is a little mud and a couple of bikinis."

Previews
========

Kayla says to Caroline, "You didn't tell anyone you switched the paternity tests."

Phillip says, "Time to get this show on the road, Parker."

EJ tells Stefano, "She's going to self-destruct."

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Bah! Humbug!

2010-12-27T11:01:00.000-08:00

We pan down to the Horton bulbs form a picture of Tom and Alice. Maggie, Doug. Jennifer and Julie try to cheer Ciara up but Ciara announces she doesn't believe in Santa.

Meanwhile the most phlegmatic Santa you've ever seen visits Johnny. Santa gives him a matador transformer. Ranta says Johnny's mom told him he wanted it and that she misses him. Santa says Rafe misses Johnny, too.

"Tell Rafe he's not fooling anyone in that white beard and red suit," says Johnny.

Lexie tells EJ Johnny is going home.

Sami, Will and Gabi are at the Hernandez Hovel. she calls the hospital to ask about Johnny. She gets Stephanie, but Stephanie no can tell per EJ's orders.

Lexie has EJ sign the release forms as Kate walks up. They tell her about the eyeballectomy and Kate is soooooo sorry.

Santa Hernandez comes out and bumps into Santa Brady. They have a staredown. Great minds think alike," says Brady. Apparently bird brains think alike, too. The pair decides to get while the gettin' is good.

"I had cancer and now I'm cancer free," says Kate.

"I got shot and now I'm brain free," says EJ. He leaves.

Kate gives Lexie a present for Theo even though she and Stefano are on the outs. Stefano walks up.

Stephanie says she could get in a lot of trouble but tells Sami they are releasing Johnny. Sami hangs up, sighs and tells Will and Gabi the news. She vows to get Johnny back, "I am not gonna rest until I get Sydney and Johnny back here." "I hope you've got a lot of No-Doz," says Will.

At the Kiriakis mansion, Vivian bustles with Christmas stuff as Victor comes in growling into the phone. "You forgot to say bah, humbug," says Vivian. She reminds him if he had helped her get rid of Carly Hope wouldn't be in prison. Vivian has her painting there and Victor says the painter didn't capture the viciousness. He suggests she disappear. Vivian pouts.

Santa Brady finds Nicole and suggests she sit on his lap and tell him what she wants.

Ciara says she doesn't believe in Santa because her mommy and daddy won't be home for Christmas. Jennifer tells her they'll be home soon. If there's any significance to the date it'll probably be April Fools' Day.

Sami finishes wrapping a present for Johnny as beardless Santa Rafe comes in and tells her he visited Johnny. Sami tries to keep a stiff upper lip. Rafe gives Sami a kiss and it ain't his upper lip that's stiff.

Vivian announces dinner as Victor computes. It seems no one is there with them because no one wants to spend Christmas eve with her.

Lexie sees Stefano and runs like a frightened bunny rabbit. Stefano tells Kate giving a gift to Theo was thoughtful. He says he knows Johnny will be fine. Kate asks about Chad, but Stefano says that's none of her concern. Kate tells him to forget it and walks off.

EJ gives Lexie the release papers. Lexie suggests he tell Sami the good news. "Sami is destructive and needy," says EJ, "I am the only parent Johnny needs."

Sami comes in to find ornaments with her kids' pictures on them. Rafe made them and Sami loves them because they look just like the ones Johnny and Allie made in kindergarten.

Four adults can't outsmart Ciara. Try as they might, she still knows the score when it comes to Mommy and Daddy. Nathan and Stephanie arrive, but the adult-kids odds don't get any better.

Julie takes Doug aside and asks what they should do. Doug tells her what he'd like to do. "Besides that," gasps Julie. She suggests channeling Alice.

Will, Gabi, Rafe and Sami open presents. Will gives Gabi a present. She rips it open to find what looks like a camera. Will and Gabi give Sami a family picture. Sami uses that as an excuse to fall apart about the missing kids.

EJ, Nicole and Stefano come into the rumpus room. Johnny wonders if mommy is coming, too.

Sami and Rafe are down at the pier. He tells her he wants to give her something with no one around. "It's a little cold for that, isn't it," asks Sami.

They give each other a safehouse key. "Where we fell in ~~love~~ lust," says Rafe. He tells her the safehouse is on the market. Sami suggests going back to pay it a visit. Rafe says that would be like breaking and entering. "You still drive me crazy," says Rafe."

"It's a pretty short trip," says Sami.

Christmas dinner is over at Maggie's place. Nathan drops the big bomb, "I've decided to leave Salem."

Maggie says, "Gosh... and I thought Christmas was over."

Abe and Lexie arrive with Theo. Theo gives Ciara a stuffed dog just like his toy dog Charlie. Ciara has nothing for him in return, but all guys know that's just the way things go with women. The Guy Manual says so.

Maggie takes Stephanie and Nathan aside and says she can't believe they're leaving. Nathan tells her about Johns Hopkins. "If they've accepted you, they're not the prestigious institution they used to be," says Maggie. They all promise to stay in touch.

Lexie announces they have to leave for the DiMera mansion. Abe lectures Lexie for what EJ is doing to Sami.

Johnny wails for his mommy. Stefano tries to settle him down but Johnny ain' buyin' what Stefano is sellin'. Nicole steps in and talks Johnny out of his funk. She plays the "opening presents" card and takes him off to get one. EJ thanks her as Johnny tears into the wrapping.

Stefano steps out into the foyer and calls Chad. Chad doesn't want any part of him and hangs up. Stefano sighs, "Merry Christmas, son."

Julie wonders with Nathan leaving and Melanie gone if Maggie should get out and meet some new people. Maggie assures her she'll be fine. Julie asks if Maggie has thought about dating Victor. Maggie says Victor infuriates her, "It's been less than a year since I lost Mickey."

"Hardly," says Julie, "Mickey was always lost."

Maggie says in her private moments she's still grieving. Julie consoles her but says, "Mickey would want you to have some joy in life."

"How come he never wanted that when he was around," asks Maggie.

Doug asks Abe if he knows anything about Bo and Hope. Abe don' know nuthin'. He also doesn't know anything about Bo and Hope. He says he'll do what he can to keep them safe, but it's out of his hands, and leaves.

Julie tells Doug Abe's hands may be tied but her's aren't. She calls Victor to ask a favor, "I know your men are looking for Bo and Hope and I'm asking you to keep me informed." Victor agrees and asks Julie in return to wish Maggie a merry Christmas. She asks Maggie if she wants to talk to him. Maggie turns her down.

Kate comes into the den where the stockings are hung by the chimney with care. She finds a little box and opens it, "Whatever this is it had better involve diamonds." She opens it to find coal. If she waits long enough it could become a diamond.

Stefano announces it's time to open presents. The children squeal with delight. So do Johnny and Sydney. EJ asks Nicole to stay.

The Fearsome Foursome decorate the Horton tree. All the ornaments with names go up. Doug tells Julie she lifted everyone's spirits. "I might have to channel Alice more often," says Julie.

The Hernandez clan is in a strange place — church. Sami leaves as they read the Christmas story.

Victor asks Brady if he doesn't think he's had enough as Brady pours a drink. Brady says he can never have enough booze when Vivian is around. Kate and Vivian snipe at each other and Vivian leaves.

Theo reads the Christmas story. Stefano congratulates his abilities.

Lexie and Abe decide this hasn't been a terrible night. That's the what you
always want, isn't it. A non-terrible Christmas.

Back in church they all sing Silent Night...

Meanwhile, Sami sneaks up outside the rumpus room and looks in on the scene.

Doug and Julie put Johnny and Allie's bulbs on their tree and we pan to Alice's empty chair and then to her picture. Oh! The artistry!

Previews
========

Caroline gasps, "Kayla! What are you doing here?"

Sami tells Nicole, "If you think he's actually going to let you in Sydney's life, then you're dreaming."

EJ tells Lexie, "I make the decisions, okay?"

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Christmas, 2010

2010-12-25T03:15:00.000-08:00

See You Around, Scrooge

2010-12-24T11:06:00.000-08:00

We open up at Bo and Hope's sugar shack where our intrepid hero and heroine go catatonic after hearing a noise outside. "Do you think we were followed," asks Hope.

"No," says Bo, "and the snow has covered our tracks."

"Good," says Hope, "So 19th century fur trappers can't find us, but what about those helicopters with floodlights hovering overhead?"

"Nag, nag, nag," whines Bo as he gets up to leave, "All right, if it'll make you happy, I'll go out and check."

As Bo opens the door Hope calls to him, "Sweet-ums..."

"Yes, dear."

"Don't forget to take out the trash."

"Things never change," says Bo as he heads into the unknown.

Outside, Bo points his pistol, "Stop right there!"

Rafe calls Daniel and asks where Carly is. Carly stands behind Daniel.

We pan through the decorations at the Horton House.

Christmas riddle: What is the main characteristic of the Horton bulbs? Answer: They are all dim.

Jen talks to Alice's empty chair about the loneliness of the Holiday. Well, if you walk around talking to empty chairs, you'll probably be pretty lonely. Doug and Julie blast in to merry things up.

Phillip and Melanie are in the bedroom together. Shockingly, there are no Internet cameras around. Phillip provides the mistletoe and Melanie responds.

Nathan and Stephanie are at the pub. He's ready for Baltimore. Stephanie is ready to pout and brood.

Brady walks up and sees Nicole and EJ at Johnny's window. He makes a scene but EJ tells him he and Nicole are there together.

Daniel tells Rafe Carly is there, but can't come to the cop-shop. Rafe wants her statement. Carly takes the phone and Rafe tells her they have to find Bo and Hope before the state troopers do.

Leigh is with the warden. The warden tells her the troopers are closing in.

Outside the sugar shack...

KA-THUNK!

Phillip says he's sorry their first Christmas isn't so great. Maybe he should spend it with Chloe instead. He swears Vivian will soon be out on her butt. Melanie figures out something fun to do.

Stephanie has told Nathan about Bo and Hope's escape. She says Baltimore is out of the question, "Maybe we could just take a quick trip to Maryland instead."

Brady and Nicole fire up the arguing until EJ steps in and tells Brady to scram. He tells him Johnny has cancer. Brady tells him he's sorry to hear that and EJ leaves. Nicole tells Brady there is more and they have to talk, but later. It's so important they might even have to have their clothes on when they have the conversation.

Nicole goes in with EJ and says she's sorry he had to deal with Brady.

Jen and Julie hang bulbs and talk about all the family that isn't there. They decide they will make it through. "I've been thinking," says Jen.

"That could really spoil Christmas," says Julie.

they talk about the despair of Bo and Hope being on the run at Christmas. Julie thinks she should have figured out what they were going to do. Ciara walks in and announces Bo and Hope will surprise them by coming home for Christmas.

Daniel counsels Carly about her statement. Carly tries to be upbeat. Daniel wonders why Bo did what he did. Carly defends him as Rafe and Chloe walk in. Carly tells Rafe. "I'm gonna tell you everything I know — under one condition..."

Carly wants Rafe to do whatever he can to help Bo. Rafe agrees.

The warden tells Leigh their little side business has to be put on hold. If Hope comes back they will arrange for a suicide, "If she goes back with Bo, we won't have to do anything to arrange Bo's suicide."

Bo walks in as brilliant Hope prepares to whack him. She swings and misses. Bo says the noise she heard was him falling on his butt. That's why there is a big bump on his head, "At least I didn't shoot myself in the foot."

"If I were there I would have shot Kayla," says Hope. She's glad he's OK, though.

Phillip and Melanie bask in the afterglow and exchange I love you's. Phillip suggests staying in bed for Christmas. He turns on the radio for music, but

BULLETIN! BULLETIN! BULLETIN!

They listen to the news about Bo and Hope.

Carly meets Rafe at the pier. He tells her Roman stepped down and he's in charge of the SPD. Carly says Bo kept her out of his plan because he knew she'd be questioned about it. She tells Rafe there were women dying in the prison, Hope reported it and that's what was causing all her trouble there. She also says Hope misspelled Ciara's name in the letter and that was the code that triggered Bo's actions.

Back at the sugar shack, Bo continues to play nursemaid. Hope goes in to change into something more revealing and Bo has to resist running out. Hope comes out in a football jersey and Bo remembers them romping at the Orange Bowl. That's something the 50,000 in attendance will never forget, either. Hope says even if they can prove what Leigh and the warden did, she'll still have to go back to prison.

Nicole wonders why EJ acts like that with Brady. EJ reminds her they are there to care for Johnny, not bicker. Nicole asks to step in and lay some tender loving care on Johnny herself. As she rambles about how her heart is broken, Stefano walks in and grumps on her, "I don't believe a word you say."

Julie bursts Ciara's balloon. She also tells her Bo and Hope might not be back for Christmas. Ciara says all she wants for Christmas is for her mommy and daddy to come home. Doug has her sit to watch TV and...

BULLETIN! BULLETIN! BULLETIN!

Phillip rushes into the pub and finds Stephanie. They mention the Bo and Hope debacle and Phillip sees the brochures, "Are you and Nathan leaving town?"

"I don't know, is Baltimore out of town?"

Carly says it's hard to realize it's over with Bo, "Hope was his first real love. He'll do anything for her."

Hope worries that they are sitting ducks. Bo, however, has a plan.

Stephanie tells Phillip about Nathan's fellowship. Phillip thinks that's great and congratulates Nathan as he walks up. Phillip leaves.

Melanie arrives at Daniel and Chloe's place. They tell her Carly is staying with them and they all discuss Bo and Hope's escape. Daniel gets a call and leaves. Melanie thanks Chloe for letting Carly stay there, "It'll be really Christmasy with her, you and me here. You know... Ho, Ho, Ho."

Stefano lectures Nicole about her lies. EJ asks for a word with Stefano in private. Nicole scoots, "See you around, Scrooge."

Stefano reminds EJ Nicole is the enemy. EJ claims Nicole is the solution. He says the kids love her. Stefano doesn't want her around. EJ tells him with Nicole around he'll have all the help he needs, "Samanther is out!"

Brady tells Nicole he didn't like it when he saw her arms around EJ. Nicole tells Brady about the pictures Vivian took of them, and then shows him.

Brady says they have to make sure Vivian can't use the pix, "I'll find a way to clean this up. Meanwhile, I'll hang on to these naked pictures of you..."

Johnny wakes and that stops Stefano and EJ's argument. Nicole walks in and cheers Johnny up.

Doug, Julie and Jennifer aren't having as much luck with Ciara, but Ciara remains optimistic that Bo and Hope will come home.

Bo has found an old crank-up short wave radio. Since Hope is with him, that makes two old-cranks in the cabin. He says it has a police band and they'll be able to use it to see if there is any police activity in the area. He helps Hope into bed and encourages her to get some sleep.

Chloe says she's in love with her new family. Carly walks in. Chloe takes out the trash and Melanie asks Carly about her conversation with Rafe. Carly fights to keep from breaking down. She loses the battle.

Out in the hall Phillip runs into Chloe and she tells him Carly is staying with them. Phillip can't believe Bo would do this. He also tells her he talked to Stephanie and Nathan, "The last thing they're thinking about is us. In fact, they usually aren’t capable of thinking about anything."

Brady looks at the naked shots. And looks... and looks... and looks. He swears he won't let Vivian get away with this.

Nicole performs magic tricks for Johnny. She pulls a quarter from behind his ear and Johnny says he wants more. Nicole asks Stefano for a $50 bill. He gives it to her and Nicole makes it disappear by putting it into her purse. Johnny laughs. Stefano doesn't. EJ, however, seems somewhat amused.

Melanie insists nothing will ever come between her and Daniel and Chloe. Translation: You can kiss that family goodbye. Outside, Phillip tells Chloe Nathan and Stephanie are moving to Baltimore.

Back in the pub Nathan and Stephanie discuss whether they should move. They decide to do it. Nathan gives her a box with a crab jewel in it in commemoration of the condition he now has from sleeping with her.

The warden calls Rafe and tells him the State Police are handling the search. Rafe tells her the SPD is conducting its own investigation. The warden suggests he can call her in a couple weeks. Rafe hangs up, "Well, that woman is hiding something."

Ciara thinks Bo is off helping Santa bring Mommy home to her. She leaves for a cookie. Jennifer wonders what they can do. Doug is upbeat and quotes Alice, "Never underestimate the magic of Christmas."

Bo comes back into the sugar shack and covers Hope, "I'm gonna get you home so you can see your daughter, Fancy Face. Goodnight."

Previews
========

Nathan tells Maggie, "I've decided to leave Salem."

EJ tells Lexie, "I am the only parent that Johnny needs."

Sami tells Will and Gabi, "I am not gonna rest until I get Sydney and Johnny back here."

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Cat Got Your Tongue? Frog In Your Throat? Bird In Your Brain?

2010-12-23T11:07:00.000-08:00

Bo returns to the cabin with the load of pine cones, berries and a dead raccoon he has collected for dinner. He sees Hope with the phone and nearly goes into cardiac arrest, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I told you not to do anything stupid."

"I'm watching old Bope scenes on YouTube," says Hope, "I can't believe how young I was when we first met. I weighed a bit more, too."

"Yeah," says Bo, "But with that weight came a rockin' set of honkers. What happened to that great set of headlights, anyway?"

"I switched from floodlights to LEDs," says Hope.

Roman and Rafe are at the cop-shop as the warden comes in and accuses Roman of being involved in the breakout.

Vivian shows Nicole the naughty pictures of her romp with Brady and threatens.

Brady calls, "Nicole I was doing some thinking..."

Maggie overhears, "When you start thinking is when the trouble starts. Why are you calling Nicole? I thought you broke up. What's going on?"

Stefano comes into Johnny's room and asks EJ to tell him everything. EJ tells. He also says he blames Samantha.

Chloe sits in the pub finishing wrapping presents. She's already farmed Parker out to Adrienne, who figures it might be best to let Daniel and Phillip think Daniel is the father.

Carly finds Daniel at the hospital. Daniel updates her on Johnny and wonders why she's not with Bo. Carly falls apart. Quick-minded Daniel senses something is wrong the instant Carly has her nervous breakdown.

Hope struggles and tells Bo she was going to call Ciara. She says he could still save himself by abandoning her. Tempting as that is Bo says, "You're wrong. You and I are gonna go through this together."

Vivian says, "Oh, the tangled web we weave, when Vivian Alamain we choose to peeve..." Nicole claims it's just an on and off thing with her and Brady. Vivian says she knows about Nicole's arrangement with EJ, that she has to dump Brady, "Wait till the DiMeras hear about this. What? Cat got your tongue? Frog in your throat? Bird in your brain?"

EJ rants about Sami's role in all this, "She did this to him."

Stefano doesn't get it, "You mean she did it by witchcraft?" EJ says no, but everything Sami touches turns to mud. She touched EJ, didn't she? "Never again will she see her children. If that makes me look heartless, I don't care."

"If makes you look like Satan himself," says Stefano.

Daniel says something to Carly most people won't dare say, "Talk to me." she doesn't. He drags her off.

Roman defends himself and says he's searching for Bo. Rafe tries to mitigate, "There must be a mistake."

The warden snorts, "Mistake? Are you stupid or just dumb?"

Rafe thinks it over, "Yes."

The warden shows them pictures of the escape. Rafe can't believe Bo did this, "That's a pretty sophisticated thing for him to pull off."

The warden wants results and she tells Roman she's calling the shots, "I will have my prisoner tonight."

Hope says she had a weak moment so she tried to call Ciara. Bo says he had a weak moment and helped Hope escape.

Brady tells Maggie what Vivian did. He says Victor and the Howelettes are all still living at the mansion and hoping they can get Vivian to court and get her evicted. Maggie rants that none of them are safe. Brady chuckles and says he knows Maggie is concerned about Victor. Maggie gets defensive about that.

Vivian is on the phone as Gus comes in. He says he found out where EJ is.

Nicole arrives at the DiMera mansion yelling for EJ. Mary tells her something terrible has happened.

Johnny stirs. Stefano tries to get EJ to leave for a minute to clear his mind. The part Sami didn't blow out, anyway. Finally, EJ kisses Johnny and leaves with Stefano.

Daniel and Carly arrive back at his place. Daniel pays Adrienne $2.50 for her five hours of babysitting and the generous guy gives her a $.50 cent tip. Adrienne leaves and a bulletin comes across the radio about Bo and Hope's breakout. Dr. Sherlock recognizes the fact that this news doesn't surprise Carly.

Roman says he's going to work with the warden. She says the state police won't help Roman because he'll pass information along to Bo, "You're out, Roman." She stomps out. Roman says he needs to talk to Rafe.

Adrienne finds Chloe at the pub. Chloe talks about what a great dad Daniel is and the blood drains from Adrienne’s face.

Carly says she knew Bo had to help Hope. She starts to leave, but Daniel encourages her to stay. He wonders why Bo did this. Carly says Bo knew he had to act. Daniel assumes when Bo gets the situation fixed he'll come home to Carly. To tell her goodbye.

Hope says she knows she's made mistakes and she apologizes. Bo apologizes for breathing, and says they need to focus on the job ahead of them. Getting to the point where they can stand each other.

Nicole calls Brady from the hospital. She leaves a message and finds EJ. She offers any assistance she can give. Vivian bustles up and introduces herself. She says she has to talk to him about the despicable wretch standing next to him —Nicole.

Adrienne claims nothing is wrong. A waitress comes up and announces the news about the breakout.

Bo serves tea and tells Hope they have to expose the warden, "Until then we concentrate on lying low and get this job done. Can do that?"

"Lying... yes," says Hope, "I don’t know about the 'low' part."

Carly says she loves Bo but doesn't think he's coming home to her, "I must be the first time that ever happened right? But I kept secrets from Bo, too."

Brady tells Maggie Vivian wants all the Sons of Sarcophagy to suffer.

Nicole tells Vivian to scram, but Vivian sidesteps her and tells EJ she's aware of his arrangement with Nicole and she has lied to him. "Is she faking another pregnancy," asks EJ.

Kate has sworn off cut-rate beauty treatments. She thought she was getting Botox, but it was Boroxo - a cross between Borax and Drano.

Stefano is in alone with Johnny, "Why... why..."

Because... because...

Vivian pulls out the pictures of Nicole and Brady, but EJ stops her and tells her his son just came out of surgery. Vivian didn't know. She clears her throat and sulks off. EJ tells Nicole to keep her trouble with Vivian away from his family. Nicole agrees and asks how Johnny is. EJ snorts, "Do me a favor... go away."

Brady calls Nicole and gets her voicemail, but somehow figures she's at the hospital and heads in that direction.

Roman tells Rafe he can't do his job so Rafe has to be the acting commander, after one day on the job, and jumping over all the other cops' seniority. Yep, this one will go to the union rep. Roman gets uncomfortable as he nearly begs Rafe to take the job.

Carly says she has done the same kind of things to Bo... and Daniel... she beats herself up. Daniel beats up on her for beating herself up. Carly continues her self flagellation and then falls apart and into Daniel's arms as Chloe comes in.

Daniel and Carly unwrap themselves from each other. Chloe wonders how Bo could do this. Parker cries and Daniel runs to take care of him. Carly tells Chloe not to get mad at Bo. "I know what you should do," says Clhoe.

Vivian is back at the Kiriakis mansion with Gus. He asks if her trip went according to plan.

EJ gives Nicole the brush off, but she begs him to wait and listen. She insists she loves Johnny, too, and gives a heart string tugging speech about how she knows this is tearing EJ up inside, "Cut Sami off, but not me. Please... how is he doing?"

"He's sleeping," whispers EJ, "They think the got all the cancer." EJ looks into the window and points out Johnny has love up to his eyeballs.

Rafe takes the job. Unemployed yesterday, commander today. Roman suggests they need to find Bo and Hope before anyone else does.

Leigh and the warden reconnoiter and discuss Hope's escape. "The best thing would be for Hope not to talk ever," says Warden Jane, "I talked to my friends at the State Police and they are all involved. I gave them my 'escapee needs to be an example' speech. If they find Bo and Hope they will kill them."

Bo figures the warden will go to the state Police. Suddenly they both think they hear a noise outside and gasp in unison.

Clhoe tires to convince Carly to spend the night with her and Daniel. Carly resists, but Daniel comes in and Clhoe makes the announcement. Daniel begs Carly to stay. Carly says yes. It's not the first time Carly has given in to Daniel's begging.

Vivian tells Gus she has a lot of evidence she can use against Nicole.

Brady comes into the hospital and sees EJ and Nicole arm-in-arm. He wonders what that's all about.

As we close, we remind you that today, December 23, is an important and solemn occasion in the chain of gluttony and avarice otherwise known as "The Holidays." There are those among us who celebrate this time of year according to the principles of their faith. But, dear readers, we cannot forget our neighbors who do not subscribe to those values. We must include and be tolerant of the people who, like those in Salem, are devoid of any shred of moral fiber, compassion, belief system, depth of character and, indeed, worth as a human being. Christmas Eve, Christmas, Chanukah, Kwanzaa, the solemn moments of reflection the new year brings... none of these are theirs. Today... today is their day. Today, let us celebrate with the morally bankrupt, spiritually void and valueless dregs of our society... Festivus!

Previews
========

Carly tells Rafe. "I'm gonna tell you everything I know — under one condition..."

Bo points his pistol, "Stop right there!"

EJ tells Stefano, "I need help looking after my children and Samanther is out!"

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A Dried Up Over The Hill Useless Old Crow

2010-12-22T11:09:00.000-08:00

At the Kiriakis mansion, Vivian continues to jab at her former sarcophagizers and claim she has the upper hand, "I think this is what's known as... the last laugh." Brady the Magnificent steps up to take one for the team and reminds Vivian he was the one who stuffed her in there in the first place. Vivian reminds him he can clam up anytime he wants and says she's out to bring them all down anyway. "You won't get away with this," snorts Victor.

"I already have," chirps Vivian.

At the hospital the vigil for Johnny continues. Everyone thinks the whole thing is taking too long. Kind of like a DOOL episode. Sami falls apart as usual and EJ announces Lexie went to check on things. He wants a little chat with Sami before Johnny wakes up.

Inside the O.R. The surgeons fill rubber gloves with water, toss them out the window and watch them break and splatter on the pedestrians below.

Jennifer is visiting the prison disguised as Clark Kent. She's playing mild mannered reporter, too and snooping around. Suddenly...

BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ-BUZZ

The warden announces a security breach and says they are in lockdown.

Hope urges Bo to go on without her as the buzzer rages. "We're in this together," says Bo.

EJ wants to strategize. He says he knows this is difficult for Sami and emotionally she's the Wreck of the Hesperus. Will comes in and sees EJ and blows up.

Dr. Kim comes out and gives everyone the look of death.

"What is it," gasps Sami.

"We ran out of rubber gloves," says Dr. Kim.

But he announces the surgery went well. He says it looks like the cancer did not metastasize.

Victor and Brady talk on the phones to their former subordinates as Melanie comes in. Victor suggests hare-kari for the guy who let Vivian get away with this one. Vivian announces she is the new CEO of Titan. Melanie doesn't believe it but they set her straight. Kate and Nicole say Vivian is not their boss and suggest she leave. Vivian then hits them with the fact the Kiriakis mansion is now "Chez Vivian."

Leigh wakes up to the buzzing. The warden comes in and Leigh tells her about being Bo-bonked.

Meanwhile Jen thinks maybe she's gotten in over her head with her little plan.

Hope begs Bo to go on with out her. He picks her up and treks on.

At the hospital, everyone is sooooo happy for the way things turned out. Daniel says they need to wait for the test, but he's an optimist.

"An optimist," repeats Sami, "Just what we need — an eye doctor."

Jen finds Leigh and the warden talking about the escape and offers help. The warden says Jennifer is a new hire with a background in journalism. She asks Jennifer to write up a press release and get it to the press, "Tell them she is a violent offender... just ask her husband, whom she nearly Bo-B-Qued."

Bo and Hope reach some kinds of dingy room, "It's OK," says Bo, "I am (say it with him) here for you."

Turns out, Titan owns the Kiriakis mansion. Vivian squeals, "So... this all belongs to little old me."

Victor says, "I don't know how little you are, but you sure got the other part right."

Vivian pats herself on the back about her coup. Suddenly Nicole starts to leave, but Vivian wants to talk to all of the Sons of Sarcophagy together about the revenge she has in store.

Jennifer is on the job. The warden warns her not to say anything without her approval. Jennifer leaves and Leigh accuses the warden of hiring Jennifer for her looks. The warden asks about the guy who hit Leigh, "He had the cheekbones like K. D. Lang," says Leigh.

Jen comes back in and tells the warden the computers are down. The warden and Leigh fly out.

Daniel tells the crowd they can go in and see Johnny. Inside his room, Johnny has a sporty patch. EJ tells him he knows he can overcome anything.

Vivian continues to chortle as Victor tells her his lawyers will contest everything. Victor says he wants everyone to stay with him so people won't laugh at them for letting Vivian drive them out of his house, "Looks like we will all be roomies."

OK, so Bo and Hope are in a downscale version of the Horton cabin. Probably the same set where the beam fell on Lucas. Bo tells her about what happened during their escape.

Bo assures Hope they are safe for now. Hope is grateful. "How grateful," asks Bo.

"I'll let you sleep with me," says Hope.

"Let's get you back to prison," says Bo.

Rafe asks Daniel about Allie’s condition since some cancers are genetic. Daniel suggests he make an appointment.

Sami tells EJ the hospital says it's OK if she sleeps in Johnny's room. EJ isn't sure that is the best thing to do, "The crisis is over and it's back to normal. Normal means Johnny's life doesn't have you in it."

Melanie wonders if Vivian has thought this through, "Living here with a group of people who love each other, won't you feel like a dried up over the hill useless old crow?"

"Melanie has a permanent place in my heart," smiles Victor. Vivian orders Nicole to stay.

Bo tells Hope stage one of his plan to put the warden in prison is complete. "What's stage two," asks Hope.

"Who the hell knows," says Bo.

Rafe says he's concerned EJ may withhold vital information. Daniel vows to watch out for Johnny and make sure he gets the proper care.

Sami refuses to walk away from Johnny. EJ volunteers to throw her out, but says he promised Johnny she will be there when he wakes up and she will be, "When you talk to him you will be saying goodbye. If you hang around I will pull out the confession and you will never see Johnny or Sydney again."

Vivian suggests Nicole go back into the den and have eggnog with the sarcophagizers. She bellows for Henderson to serve it to the crowd. Vivian pours it on thick (the BS, that is... not the eggnog) and orders them to sing carols. It doesn't go well.

The warden assures Jennifer this has never happened before. Another guard comes in and calls up a shot of Bo on the computer. "The prisoner's husband," says the warden.

Hope shivers. Bo tells her Ciara is with Jugs and Doolie. Hope worries about their situation and tells Bo he can't do this. She suggests leaving her. Bo no can do.

Sami is in shock. EJ is in his element. The viewers are in a daze. Johnny wakes. EJ tells him he looks like a pirate. Sami says she has brought him a story to read. EJ suggests reading it instead so Mommy can go home. Sami tells Johnny she’ll be back and loves him. She hugs him and leaves. EJ then hugs the unenthusiastic little guy. Sami watches as EJ starts to read.

EJ wants Daniel to keep Johnny in the hospital and out of the DiMera mansion as long as possible. Sami comes out and falls apart.

Melanie leaves the happy party. Phillip follows and suggests they not stay there. Instead, Melanie wants to stay and torture Vivian. Well, if Melanie's around, it's pretty easy to torture people.

"Wanna go make out," asks Melanie. Phillip does. Speaking of torture...

Vivian goes out. Kate suggests the next time Vivian goes into a coffin she really needs to be dead first. Victor agrees.

Vivian finds Nicole outside. After Nicole insists she hates being in the same room as Brady, Vivian shows her the naughty pictures the creep took of them at the DiMera mansion.

EJ strokes Johnny's head and wishes he had a whole brain, too.

Sami and Rafe arrive back at the Hernandez Hovel. Sami can't believe what EJ has forced her to do. Rafe assures her they will figure this out.

The warden orders Bo's name added to the APB, "His life is now over."

Back at the cabin, Bo decides to go outside and see what's out there. You know, like trees and stuff. Hope grabs her cell phone.

Over in the corner, Lucas moans, "Help... get this beam off of me!"

Previews
========

Vivian says to Nicole, "Oh, the tangled web we weave!"

The warden tells Roman, "I will have my prisoner back tonight."

Bo tells Hope, "You and I are gonna go through this together."

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Sheeeee's Baaaaacckkk

2010-12-21T11:03:00.000-08:00

Hope lies lifeless on the bed in her cell as a guard brings her dinner. Hope looks at him and manages a weak, "Bo! You're a guard here! OMG, I didn't think the hiring standards at the prison could get any lower!"

Bo looks at her smashed face, "You've never looked so good. Max Factor?"

Hope can barely speak, "Yes... And Merle Norman..."

"I see," says Bo, "So you used two brands of makeup for this new look."

"No," says Hope, "Those are the two thugs who came in here and beat me to a pulp."

"I am (say it with him) here for you," says Bo, "everything is going to be OK."

Victor is on the phone griping about a Swiss company buying Titan stock when Maggie comes in. She brings some of Phillip and Melanie's stuff and Victor says he thinks she came to see him, in spite of her protestations.

Maggie asks, "Victor, how do I put this? Stuff it!"

Outside, Vivian says, "Victor, this is going to be a Christmas you'll never forget."

Meanwhile, Brady and Nicole rumpus in the rumpus room. Outside, a creep takes their pictures. All nekkid and everything. The guy outside does a double take, "That's Misty Circle! I only recognize her with her clothes off."

Rafe is at the hospital telling Will what's going on with Johnny. EJ and Sami are inside with Johnny.

Johnny wants to know when he can go home. Sami does something she's really good at as a mother... she lies. EJ joins in, holds his hand and says, "I have something scary to tell you... I might let you go live with your mommy after all." He tells Johnny he will lose his eye.

"When do I get it back," asks naïve Johnny.

Bo comforts Hope who resembles Jerry Cooney after his Muhammad Ali fight.

Daniel and Chloe talk about how complicated life can be. He rages over his son-in-law's Phil-andering. Lexie calls and tells him about Johnny's surgery.

Sami explains the operation. "Sounds better than a sharp stick in the eye," says Johnny. He panics, though when he figures out they can't ever put his eye back, "Dang! Just when 3-D movies were getting really good!"

Hope tells Bo how all this happened, "The warden is behind all this." Bo tries to get her up. Hope squeals that she can't do it, "The warden is killing people." Bo vows to stop her and helps Hope get up.

Meanwhile Brady and Nicole wrap up the rumpusing. Brady gets a text saying Victor wants him at the Kiriakis mansion right now. He scoots as Mary comes in. Nicole straightens things up and Mary announces she's going back to Sydney. Then Nicole gets a text from Victor asking her to come to the mansion, too.

Daniel tells Lexie he'll be there right away, "Hang in there."

"The situation's bad, but I'm not suicidal," says Lexie.

Daniel hangs up and tells Chloe what's up with Johnny. He leaves to go work miracles. Chloe tells Parker he's lucky he has the best daddy(s) in the world.

Rafe tells Lexie he doesn't know how much Sami can take.

Johnny wails, "I don't want them to take my eye." Mommy and Daddy try to comfort him. Since Johnny needs their support so much, EJ and Sami go off to talk. EJ says he wants time alone with him. Sami doesn't think that will work out and refuses to leave Johnny. Johnny, the only adult in the room, screams, "STOP FIGHTING!"

Sami goes back to him and apologizes for acting like a child. She tells him he won't feel a thing during the operation, "Afterward, however, it will feel like someone ripped your eye out." He asks if there will be a hole where his eye was. The parents tell him yes, but he'll get a patch and a pretend eye and be well on his way to being just like Phillip Kiriakis, Salem’s bionic man.

Victor tells Maggie he has to get used to the fact she's too good for him. She reminds him he left a woman in a coffin to die. Kate happens by and listens as they continue to argue. She pops in and smoochies Victor just to get under Maggie's skin. She insinuates she and Victor are going to Paris together. Maggie huffs out.

Phillip joins the crowd, saying he got Victor's text. Kate says she got one too as Victor denies he has sent any texts. Outside, Vivian talks about her brilliant plan to spoof Victor's text number.

Bo and Hope struggle to get out of the jail cell. Hope rambles and tries to convince Bo she isn't crazy.

Brady has joined everyone in the Kiriakis den, and then Nicole comes in. Victor finally figures Vivian is doing this, "What the hell is she up to?"

Bo insists he loves Hope, believes her and says they've got to get out of there.

Sami tells Johnny he'll have super powers with his good eye, "You'll even be able to see thorough all my BS. Love can fix anything."

Johnny gets it, "So it can fix my eye, right?"

Dr. Daniel is in with Johnny and has given him a sedative. Concerned EJ and Sami watch as Daniel tries to give him a pep talk. Everyone shares the love as Johnny goes to sleep and they wheel him down the last mile.

Rafe comes in to find the tearful duo. Sami hugs him and practically drowns him in the process.

EJ leaves the room and broods.

Maggie goes to visit Clhoe. She asks about Daniel and Phillip's fight. Chloe bobs and weaves like Hope should have done in her fight with Leigh.

Phillip calls and leaves a message for Melanie. Vivian pops in, "Sheeee's baaaackkkk."

Hope tells Bo he'll wind up in prison if he helps her, "Prison," repeats Bo, "That wouldn't be as bad as being married to you." Leigh comes in and Bo starts roughing Hope up.

Sami and Rafe come out into the waiting area. Sami turns it into the panicking area. Rafe tries to calm her down, but he'd have better luck trying to stop the earth from turning. EJ steps up, "We are not going to lose Johnny."

Bo tells Leigh he's there to give Hope dinner. Leigh wonders if she's seen Bo somewhere before.

Vivian taunts, "We're all going to have a nice little chat. It's the end of the line for all of you, because now you're mine... all mine!"

Chloe tells Mags about Johnny, "He has eye cancer."

"Mother of God," screams Maggie.

"No," says Chloe, "She's OK. It's Johnny that's sick." Maggie says she's worried about what this will do to EJ.

EJ and Rafe get into it. Rafe tires to mitigate things, but the guys get macho and Sami has to separate them. Lexie comes out and says the operation is getting started and they all have to grow up.

In the O.R., The team of doctors get started. Ben and Daniel are there, too.

Pacing and phone conversations fill the waiting area. Sami calls Roman and tells him what's happening. Lexie suggests EJ call Stefano. EJ doesn't' think it would do any good, "Unless we could buy off the surgeons."

Back at the Kiriakis mansion, Kate tells Vivian, "You know what was great about you being trapped in that sarcophagus? You being trapped in the sarcophagus." Vivian taunts until Victor orders her out.

"Is that any way to talk to your boss," asks Vivian, "I own Titan lock, stock and barrel."

Leigh starts to go for the head guard. Bo grabs her and then Hope comes up from behind and slams her dinner tray into Leigh's head...

WHACK!

"I enjoyed that," says Hope, "I really did."

"You always enjoy it when you do it to me, too," says Bo.

They cover the unconscious Leigh and skedaddle.

Vivian taunts and throws a pile of papers at Victor, "Read it and weep. I'm now the majority stockholder. You were so busy chasing down Maggie no one was watching the store."

Lexie goes to check on the operation. Sami worries that things are taking too long, "How long can it take to remove an eye. I know from experience you can scratch someone's eyes out in minutes." Sami falls apart. Rafe comforts. EJ watches.

In the O.R. We pan in on Johnny and his new patch. Daniel asks, "Has the cancer spread?"

"I don't know," says Ben, "Lets go find a doctor to ask."

Previews
========

Vivian squeals, "This all belongs to little old me."

Jennifer says, "This could be too dangerous!"

EJ asks, "Please, what's going on with our son?"

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No Recrap

2010-12-20T13:05:00.000-08:00

Sorry, gang, busy day today, so I won't be able to post a recrap... uh... recap. I may be able to squeeze in a few post show comments on Twitter and Facebook later. Have a good one and we'll see you tomorrow.

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Mother And Child Reunion

2010-12-17T11:02:00.000-08:00

Bo tells one of his officers he's off on a trip. Julie comes into the cop-shop with Ciara and wants to know where he's off to.

Melanie is back with Chloe in her apartment wondering if Parker is picking up on Chloe's tension. She thinks Chloe is blaming herself for everything, the fact that everything is her fault notwithstanding.

Daniel and Phillip are at the pier. Phillip admits to an affair with Bambi Toolose. He says he didn't want to break Melanie's heart, but also didn't want to pass up a chance for a roll in the hay with Bambi.

Stephanie tells Nathan about a church upstate they could consider for their wedding. She also asks about honeymoon plans. Nathan says she won't like what he has to say.

EJ figures Johnny's hairy eyeball is one of Samantha’s plots, so she can get back with Johnny.

Phillip says, "I'm disgusted with myself for doing it."

"Doing what," asks Daniel.

"Doing Bambi."

Sami and EJ argue until Sami can't take it any more.

SLAP!

"You are a sick SOB, EJ!"

Melanie says even though Daniel and Phillip got into a fight it's not the end of the world. Carly shows up and shares huggies with Melanie. Chloe says she has to go run an errand and asks the suckers... uh... built in babysitters to watch the Parkster.

Phillip drones, "If I could only take it back. I was drunk when I romped with Bambi." Daniel isn't full of forgiveness. He's full of lectures. He's full of...

Phillip says he thought something was going on with Melanie and Nathan, "I made one mistake." He begs Daniel not to tell Melanie.

"You want me to lie to my daughter," asks Daniel. Phillip swears he'll spend the rest of his life making it up to her.

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IT'S TIME TO PLAY "DUMP THE KID!"

Bo instructs one of his officers, "We want to get rid of my daughter, so why don't you show her around the station. I'm sure there are a lot of things here she'll be interested in. Start with the interrogation room and show her the different types of rubber hose we use. After that, take her down and show her the iron maidens. I think she'd love to see the red carpet we have running down the hallway for the times we let prisoners escape and... oh, dang... too bad there aren't any executions scheduled for today. But that doesn't matter because even without them, a police station is just a Disneyland for a kid."

Once they're out of the room, Julie unloads and wants to know what prompted Bo's decision to leave. Bo says the investigation he's working on is the reason he's going. Julie is willing to baby sit Ciara and so the deal is set.

EJ brings up that old thing about Sami trying to blow his brains out. They come to blows and Rafe steps in and breaks it up, blaming EJ all the way.

Nathan says Johns Hopkins called again and want him to reconsider the fellowship.

"John who," asks Stephanie. Stephanie is all for it and ready and willing to locate. Nathan gets a call and leaves. Caroline the eavesdropper overhears and joins Stephanie. Caroline thinks maybe it's for the best if Stephanie and Nathan leave town. So does everyone else in Salem. They both think Melanie makes them nervous and Stephanie vows to get herself out of town with Nathan.

Phillip whines about making just one mistake. Daniel reminds him of the mistake he and Carly made... Melanie... everybody's mistake. He asks if Bambi knows it's over. Phillip says he'll have her transferred to Europe and says again it was only a one time thing.

"Isn't that another way of calling it a one-night-stand," asks Daniel, "I want you to leave Melanie and move on."

Melanie thinks Chloe is overreacting and blaming herself for Daniel and Phillip's fight. Melanie says she's not upset about it and she's sure they will work it out. She says she's getting her happily ever after and wants that for Carly, too. Carly isn't sure that will happen.

Julie looks at Bo the way a snake looks at you before it strikes. She thinks Bo is acting like he'll be gone a long time.

Rafe lectures EJ for his cruelty. Dr. Kim interrupts. Sami gasps, "What did you find out?"

"I found out Johnny wiggles a lot," says Dr. Kim.

Ciara is back in Bo's office looking at the wrapped box. Bo urges her to open it, but Ciara wants to wait until Mommy is there. Hope it won't spoil in 20 years.

Carly says Bo is going through a lot of pain right now. "Did Hope get out of jail," asks Melanie. She says Chloe will never be her favorite person but she's trying to see the good in her, "That's why I've asked for a microscope for Christmas."

Caroline and Melanie agree to stay quiet about the switcheroo. Caroline says she's worried about Kayla. Stephanie thinks Kayla will come to her senses. That would be a lot easier if she had any.

Dr. Kim says he has no definitive answer on what's wrong with Johnny. He suggests Sami go see her son. She and Rafe walk off as EJ stews.

Inside the only patient room in the hospital, Sami and Johnny have the proverbial mother and child reunion.

Phillip says he's not leaving Melanie. Daniel isn't sure that's Phillip's decision to make.

Carly agrees Chloe's infidelity should be kept a secret. Melanie agrees Chloe deserves a ~~second~~ two-hundredth chance. She says she knows Carly and Bo will get through their troubles together. And then Bo will go back to Hope.

Bo lies and says Hope is sick and can't come home for Christmas. He tells Ciara the present is from Mommy, who wants Ciara to open it now. Ciara opens and finds a necklace. Ciara says she loves it. She asks Bo to put it on. Bo puts it on and asks her how it looks on him.

Johnny says he wants to go home with Sami. EJ stands in the back of the room and simmers.

Daniel softens and says he doesn't want to hurt Melanie. He decides to keep his mouth shut. He points two fingers toward his eyes, "But I... will be watching..." He points two fingers toward Phillip's eyes, "You."

Daniel says others know. Stephanie for one. Phillip says he’ll talk to Stephanie. Daniel tells him he damn well better take care of it. Daniel leaves. Phillip whips out his cell phone.

Carly says keeping this secret may be why she is pulling away from Bo a little bit. Melanie says she wants to start a family so Carly can be a good influence on her kids. A murderess who carved her husband up with a dull butcher knife always is the best role model for kids.

EJ says he wants a word with Sami. Johnny begs her not to go. Rafe steps in and offers to show Johnny some magic if he lets Sami go. Johnny agrees. Rafe shows him some real magic and pulls a brain cell out of his head.

Outside Sami tells EJ to make it quick. EJ wants to be civil. Sami isn't sure he is able to do that. EJ says he has noticed Johnny needs her, "It was wrong of me to accuse you of doing this. I'm feeling guilty about all our fighting. Without that we might have noticed this a long time ago." Sami agrees and says they can't fight any more. EJ agrees to put Johnny first.

Phillip leaves a message for Stephanie. Chloe finds him there and he tells her everything with Daniel is OK... or not.

Nathan gets off the phone with Adrienne and tells Stephanie she's feeling a little dizzy. It runs in the family. Nathan leaves as Daniel comes in. He walks up to Stephanie, "I'm just gonna come out with this. I heard you tell Caroline Phillip cheated on Melanie. I talked to Phillip about it and he told me everything."

Bo says Hope wanted Ciara to have this so she will think of her parents. Ciara says she would rather have her mommy's wallet collection instead. Bo tells her he has to leave for a while and she'll be with Jugs and Doolie for Christmas, "If you get lonely let that necklace remind you Mommy and Daddy love you enough to abandon you on the biggest holiday of the year."

Rafe turns a penny into a dime. Johnny is amazed, "Can you turn it into a million dollars?"

Sami comes back and Johnny says he doesn't want any more doctors, "They don't call this hospital the pre-mortuary for nothing."

Sami assures him, "I promise I will (say it with her) be there for you." She gives him the high sign and explains what it means as EJ watches.

Carly comes in with Bo and wonders what he wants to talk to her about. Bo clams up.

Nathan gets to Adrienne’s place but hears crying across the hall. He knocks and Melanie answers holding Parker. She says he was crying a little and explains Chloe and Daniel are gone. Nathan slows her down and says she will make an amazing mother. Define 'amazing.'

Phillip tells Chloe Daniel agreed to keep things a secret. Chloe is relieved, but Daniel says he has to make sure Stephanie doesn't blab.

Stephanie, meanwhile, is blabbing, "Phillip told you everything?"

"He opened up," says Daniel, "But I want you to keep quiet about it. Understood?"

"My grandmother and I won't say a word," says Stephanie, "Trust me." Translation: as far as you can throw her...

Out in the waiting area EJ asks about the secret hand signals, "I knew I couldn't trust you. Get out... both of you. You will never see Johnny again." They go at each other's throats, but Dr Kim comes up with bad news.

Previews
========

Carly asks Bo, "This has to do with Hope, doesn't it?"

Hope asks the warden, "Just tell me... what are you going to do?"

Sami shrieks, "NO! This is not happening!"

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Out Of Sight... Out Of Mind

2010-12-16T11:08:00.000-08:00

Lexie is with EJ in DiMerica. He begs her to tell him nothing is wrong with Johnny. Lexie, alas and alack, can't tell him that; instead she gives him the bad news, "There is something in his eye. It's some sort of a spot."

"Dammit, Lexie," snorts EJ, "I wish you would stop overwhelming me with medical jargon."

Lexie decides Johnny should see a specialist.

Outside, Rafe gets a call from Sami. He tells her he's doing well, but psycho... uh... psychic Sami figures something is wrong.

Chloe gets back to her place and tells Phillip Daniel is looking for him and knows he cheated on Melanie, "I can't let you take the fall. We're going down together."

"That's how we got into this mess," says Phillip.

Daniel blasts into Maggie's place looking for Phillip. Melanie sees his face and asks what they were fighting about. "You," says Daniel.

Hope contemplates a picture of Ciara as the warden and a cop walk in. The warden taunts as Hope wonders what they're going to do. Hope figures they will "get rid" of her.

Jennifer joins Bo in his office. He shows her Hope's letter. Jennifer reads and Bo 'splains Hope's problems have come back without the pills. Jennifer vows to help her.

Will and Gabi are together "studying" on the park bench. Studying each other. They try to stay positive in light of what they know about Johnny.

Rafe brushes Sami off and says he may have something to report on EJ soon. They hang up. Allie comes out and Sami helps her empty her school backpack. Allie tells her they're all supposed to bring cookies to school. Sami decides it's time to make cookies.

ALERT THE FIRE DEPARTMENT!

Lexie makes the call to an ophthalmologist. EJ wonders why things are so urgent.

"We've got to get him to some kind of competent doctor," says Lexie.

The warden figures now that Bo has read Hope's letter he realizes she's a danger to herself and others. Hope thinks Bo won't believe her. "I don't know," says the warden, "Out of sight... out of mind."

"Oh, believe me," insists Hope, "It doesn't have to be out of sight to be out of Bo's mind."

Bo shows Jennifer the way Hope spelled Ciara, "With two r's."

"Rciara," says Jennifer, "That's a funny name."

Gabi thinks Will has been through a lot lately, and says it helps her to focus on things other than Arianna sometimes, "So it helps if I can (say it with her) be there for you." Will moves in for some closer 'being there.'

Allie tells Sami that Johnny wasn't at school today.

Lexie calls the specialist as Johnny comes in munching a cookie. She makes the appointment and just like NOT in real life, the specialist can see Johnny right away.

Maggie comes out into the hall with Clhoe and Phillip. She passes through to take Parker outside. Daniel and Phillip go into her apartment and Phillip says Chloe can't say a word about their little tryst. He reminds her Daniel thinks he had the affair with Bambi Toolose and says that's how things should stay. Chloe thinks Daniel will be able to put two and two together and figure things out.

Melanie figures this is about Titan. She won't let Daniel get a word in and he finally backs off as Melanie rambles on.

Will and Gabi arrive at the Hernandez Hovel. Will calls for Sami and finds she's not there. Unfortunately Sami comes back before they can attack each other and wonders what they are talking about.

Johnny brats around as Lexie and EJ try to get him to agree to go to the doctor. EJ tries bribing him with a lollipop, but Johnny wants his mommy instead.

Hope tells the warden Bo won't forget about her. Hey, no one has forgotten Jimmy Hoffa either, but he's still missing. The warden talks about the pills Hope used to take and then tells her to eat. The warden leaves and Hope figures they're trying to poison her.

Bo and Jennifer speculate about Hope's letter. He says he found out several young, healthy women with no families have died there lately. Bo thinks something is fishy and also thinks the warden made Hope write the letter. If Bo were any more intelligent, they'd have to water him. "What's our plan," asks Jennifer.

Will says what he and Gabi were talking about is about Christmas and it's a secret. Sami asks about the photos Gabi took at the wedding. Will and Gabi stammer around.

Lexie opens the door on the way out and they find Rafe. Johnny calls for Mommy as Lexie fills Rafe in. Rafe says he'll go get Mommy for him.

Melanie praises Phillip. Daniel continues trying to butt in but when Melanie's mouth gets going it's hopeless, "I'm actually the one who hurt Phillip."

Maggie comes back with wailin' Parker. Mama Chloe goes into action.

Rafe promises Sami will meet Johnny at the hospital. EJ sends Lexie off with Johnny and tells Rafe to butt out. He says Sami has no right to any contact with Johnny and he'll take care of the eye situation. EJ leaves. Rafe goes inside and steals the silverware.

Will tells Sami Gabi printed the photos and Will noticed something strange — everyone looked happy. Gabi says it was a reflection in Johnny's eye that was in every shot. Will says Rafe asked them not to say anything to Sami because Sami has a tendency to panic... uh... has gone through so much.

True to form, Sami panics.

Melanie says a while back she and Nathan were kissing goodbye, Phillip saw it and it hurt him. She says Phillip blamed himself. He shoved Melanie's lips right into Nathan's face. Melanie says she needs Daniel and Phillip to be OK with each other.

Chloe bounces Parker. "I can put him down for you," offers Maggie.

"I think euthanasia is a little drastic," says Chloe.

Maggie leaves. Phillip and Chloe argue about who should tell whom what. Daniel calls and tells Phillip he's with Melanie.

Bo says, "There is no plan... plans are for wimps." Jen wonders if Carly is part of the forthcoming plan. Bo says Carly has always known Hope would be a big part of his life and reminds her he doesn't know what's going on at the prison.

Jennifer says, "If there is a way to get Hope out, I will find it."

Sami blathers and sniffles. Allie calls. Sami runs in to help her, but tells Will the conversation will continue. Rafe returns. Will tells him they spilled the beans about Johnny's eye. Sami comes back and Rafe sends the kids off. Sami throws a fit. Rafe says he didn't want her to worry and they need to go see Johnny now. They leave. Face sucking sounds come from the other room.

The doctor examines Johnny. EJ takes him aside and the doc says there is something abnormal, but he can't make a diagnosis without further tests. He says he will have to examine Johnny under general anesthesia. Rafe signs the consent form.

Hope sticks a picture of Ciara on her wall. The guard comes in, asks why she didn't eat and tells her she can't have personal items in the cell. She yanks down Ciara's picture and wads it up. Hope calls as she leaves, then breaks down.

Phillip tells Chloe Daniel wants to meet him at the pier. Chloe wants to come with him. Phillip says he can fix this himself and orders Chloe to stay put. Translation: Chloe will probably beat him to the pier.

Phillip leaves and Maggie comes out. She wonders where Phillip went. Chloe says he had to go and asks Maggie to stay there and babysit as she heads out.

Johnny calls for Mommy. Lexie says she'll be there and tries to distract him. Then Lexie grabs him and they walk the last mile together. Sami rushes in wanting to know where Johnny is.

Hope prays and begs God for a Christmas miracle, "Help Bo understand my message. BBBBAAAWWWWWLLLL."

"It would be a Christmas miracle if Bo understood anything," says God.

Bo tells Jen he'll contact her when he knows something. Jennifer may never hear from Bo again. She leaves. Outside, she says, "Sorry Bo... I can't sit and do nothing."

Inside, Bo looks at a wrapped box and a picture of Hope and Ciara, "I'll help you, Fancy Face."

Chloe knocks. Melanie answers. Melanie invites her in and Chloe says she's looking for Daniel. Melanie tells Chloe Daniel is upset with Phillip and they got in a fight, "I'm so upset I can't even drink my coffee."

Chloe wonders if that means Melanie might be pregnant. Melanie thinks that would be great and everything will be fine once Daniel and Phillip stop trying to kill each other.

Daniel shows up at the dock and tells Phillip it's no use denying he cheated, "Are you gonna admit it?"

"It happened," says Phillip, "I never meant to hurt anyone. I'm sorry I lied. If you want the truth, here it is..."

EJ tells Sami Johnny is undergoing tests. He's vague about what's going on. "You're a SOB," says Sami.

"Wait," epiphanizes EJ, "You saw him at the house. You wanted a way to get back into his life. You did this, didn't you?"

Previews
========

Stephanie tells Caroline, "It'll be a disaster for everyone involved... a total disaster."

Phillip whines at Daniel, "I made one mistake."

Sami screams, "You're a sick SOB, EJ!"

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Morticia and Gomez

2010-12-15T11:04:00.001-08:00

EJ stares at Johnny's hairy-eyeball photo and contemplates. The doorbell rings. EJ answers and finds Nicole standing there holding a couple of bags which, if my math is correct, makes three bags altogether. Nicole informs him she has moved out of the Kiriakis mansion and is ready to move into the DiMera mansion.

"You seem to have more mansions at your disposal than Bernie Madoff," says EJ, "At any rate, take your bags out to the guest house. Take your suitcases, too." He tells her he's distracted with his son and doesn't have time to listen to the adventures she had moving out.

Nicole asks, "EJ, is something wrong with Johnny?"

Steamin, stewin' Lexie shows up at the Hernandez Hovel and screams for Sami. Since Sami isn't there, she turns her wrath on Rafe, 'You tell that destructive little bitch to go to hell."

Maggie is babysitting Parker. Victor arrives.

Adrienne shows up at the hospital and finds Nathan. Nathan says Stephanie probably wanted her to come there so Stephanie should fess up. Adrienne flashes back to Stephanie telling her the paternity tests were switched and Phillip is the father. "I'm glad she told you," says Adrienne, "But you're not mad."

"When you're talking about a person, the word is insane, not mad," says Nathan.

Melanie flashes back to telling Nathan she heard him say he loved her. Stephanie is with her wondering how Nathan feels about getting married.

Phillip and Daniel are at the dock. Daniel manhandles Phillip wanting him to own up to what he did. Suddenly...

POW! RIGHT IN PHIL'S ARTIFICIAL KISSER!

Lexie rants about Sami and tells Rafe she's crossed the line. Rafe crosses the room and says they need her help with Johnny, "I think there may be something wrong."

EJ says he's just trying to help Johnny adjust to life without his mom and all the babysitters he's gotten to know. He senses Nicole is keeping something from him.

A couple of dockworkers break up the fight as Daniel accuses Phillip of cheating on Melanie.

Nicole tells EJ she hasn't completely cut ties with Brady. Especially the ties they have in the bedroom. She says this has to do with Vivian, "We played a little prank on her to neutralize her. Brady and I are broken up right now, but we still have to meet. Sometimes we'll even have our clothes on when we meet."

EJ forbids it. He also forbids her to see Sydney, "Either accept that or our deal is off."

Rafe shows Lexie the pictures and asks about the white spot. "I'm no photographer," says Lexie. No doctor, either.

Nathan says Stephanie has moved up the wedding date. Adrienne thinks Stephanie is lucky to have a man like him. Actually she's lucky to have any man.

Stephanie wants to know what Melanie is making up. Melanie tells her Nathan confessed something to her about the woman he actually loves.

Daniel insists he knows the truth. What we know is he needs sedation.

Stephanie wonders if Melanie is insinuating Nathan loves her. Melanie says no, he loves Stephanie. "Of course he does," says Stephanie, "see the rock on my finger?."

"It matches the rocks in your head," says Melanie, "Nathan is going to give up everything for you. Starting with a pleasant and happy life."

Adrienne and Nathan walk in. Melanie says she isn't feeling well and leaves to see if she can get off early. Nathan asks Stephanie what that was all about.

Maggie tells Victor she's babysitting. "I've fantasized about baby sitters on occasion," says Victor, "maybe we can work on some of those fantasies." He picks up Parker and tells him he'll teach him about the financial world, "Your mother finally got something right."

Dr. Daniel blows his stack and threatens to tell Melanie. Phillip leaves and the stevedores let Daniel go. They leave and Chloe asks what's going on. "Phillip cheated on my daughter," says Daniel, "and I will make him pay."

Nicole reminds EJ she's agreed to all his humiliating demands. He says he still doesn't trust her and until he does he's limiting her access to Sydney. He sends her up to see her and asks her to let him know if Johnny is awake.

Lexie looks at the pictures and says she will need to see Johnny in person. She says she has to take the pictures to EJ. Rafe will tag along.

Stephanie tells Nathan Melanie was just being weird, and brushes their conversation off. Nathan leaves. Adrienne and Stephanie talk wedding. Adrienne thinks Stephanie has to blab about Parker's parentage. Stephanie no-can-do because Caroline will get hurt, "She switched the results."

Phillip is at the hospital looking for Melanie. Nathan sees him and asks what happened, "I'm a doctor. I should look at those wounds."

"NO," says Phillip, "Don't touch my junk."

Daniel says he overheard Stephanie talking about Phillip cheating. Chloe tries to steer him away from what he heard and makes excuses. Daniel says he saw guilt in Phillip's eye, "It was written all over his fake face." Chloe backs him off and insists he never tell anyone.

Nicole and Sydney color. Sydney teaches her to use crayons. Nicole tells EJ Johnny was napping when she was upstairs. Rafe and Lexie show up. EJ starts to blow, but Lexie tells him Johnny could be sick. EJ says he's not falling for Rafe's pathetic little charade and she shouldn't either.

Nicole joins the happy clan. Lexie suggests Rafe leave. He does. Lexie comes inside as EJ insists Rafe is lying. Lexie tells Nicole to beat it.

Parker has puked on Victor's coat. Maggie cleans it up. "That's OK," says Victor, "I've been spit up on before." He finds Daniel's baptism gown, "I can still picture him in this thing. It's just like the one he was wearing last week." Maggie says she finds what he did to Vivian reprehensible, but likes the way he stands up for family. They talk about who is living at the Kiriakis mansion and when he brings up Kate, Maggie blows a gasket.

"Morticia and Gomez are no longer together," says Victor. Maggie isn't surprised at the Stef 'n Ho breakup, "You and Kate... under the same roof... again."

Nathan wonders why Phillip wants to find Melanie. Phillip wonders why it's any of Nathan's business.

Melanie hits Maggie's place and yells for Phillip. He's not there, "I need you right now," whines Melanie.

Chloe thinks Daniel is overreacting. She defends Phillip and tells Daniel to stay out of it. Daniel says if Phillip is screwing around on Melanie, it's a lie and he won't allow his daughter to live like that, even though that's pretty much the way she was conceived in the first place.

Chloe reminds Daniel that Melanie loves Phillip. No, Daniel ain't buyin' what Chloe is sellin'. "It was just one time," blurts Chloe.

"How would you know that," asks Daniel.

"Because I know Phillip," says Clhoe. Daniel insists Phillip is scum and needs to end the marriage, "I'd do the same thing."

The nurse finds Phillip and tells him Melanie is gone. She gives him her cell phone and Phillip says he'll deliver it to her. Phillip tells Nathan to mind his own business and focus on Stephanie. He leaves.

Stephanie says if she tells the truth Caroline will go to jail, "I have to protect her." Adrienne says Daniel, Chloe and Phillip deserve to know the truth. Stephanie warns, "If you betray my trust again, I will have nothing to do with you."

Maggie acts like she doesn't care if Victor is living with Kate, "I believe you were about to leave. Victor goes. Maggie tries to tell herself she doesn't care.

Outside, Victor says, "She definitely cares."

Nicole stands outside the DiMera mansion and starts to call Brady as Rafe walks up.

Lexie shows EJ the moat in Johnny's eye and asks to examine him.

Adrienne and Stephanie... we've heard it all before. Stephanie turns the whining up to a level that Adrienne can't help but agree to keep quiet. Enter Nathan... exit Adrienne. "You seem out of sorts," says Stephanie.

"I've got plenty of sorts," says Nathan, "but I'm short on intelligent fiancées."

Phillip knocks at Chloe and Daniel's place. Maggie wonders why he's so upset.

Chloe pours out her love for Daniel and tells him he's making a terrible mistake, "You don’t know the whole story." Daniel apologizes for ranting, "It's not like you did anything wrong."

"You condone it," asks Clhoe. Daniel tells her he's off to have it out with Phillip, but promises he won't lay a hand on him. He leaves to get his shotgun before seeing Phillip. "If he finds out the truth I'll lose him forever," whines Chloe.

Nicole tells Rafe he's not wanted there and insists she'd do anything for Sydney, "If Sami were willing to do that, things would be different. The only reason EJ cut Sami off from her kids is you."

Johnny runs into the rumpus room and greets Lexie, who examines his eyes.

Nathan tells Stephanie about Phillip's fight, "I think it had to do with Melanie." Stephanie says she doesn't want to get involved. Smooches ensue.

Maggie wants to know what happened to Phillip's face. "Don't worry," says Phillip, with me, faces are a dime a dozen." He leaves. Maggie wonders.

Chloe finds Phillip in the hall and tells him Daniel is gunnin' for him.

Daniel shows up at Maggie's place. Melanie wonders what's with the face.

Rafe prays, "God, please let Johnny be OK."

"Have we met," asks God.

Lexie sends Johnny to the kitchen and gives EJ her patented look o' death, "He's not OK."

Previews
========

Jennifer tells Bo, "If there is a way to get Hope out, I will find it."

Sami whines, "What are you talking about, Will? Is something wrong with my son?"

Clhoe says, "Daniel is not the only one who knows." Phillip asks, "What are you talking about?"

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The Old Heave-Ho

2010-12-14T11:17:00.000-08:00

At the cop-shop, Will and Gabi are showing Rafe family photos. They think they've found something odd about Johnny and want to know if Rafe sees it, too. The SPD relies heavily on public-minded citizens to step up and figure out what's going on. Unfortunately, the old saying holds, "You can lead a Salem cop to water but you can't make him dive in and find a clue." Rafe isn't certain he sees anything strange... but wait...

"OHHHH MYYYY GOOOODDDD!"

Rafe notices Johnny has a white eye, "So that proves it! EJ isn't Johnny's father! Johnny's father must've been a half-albino!"

At the pub, Melanie asks Nathan why he and Stephanie have moved up the wedding date, "Are you getting married because she is pregnant?" Nathan wonders why Melanie said that and says he wants to be honest. Melanie wonders if he was lying when he said he loved her.

"Hell no."

Caroline and Stephanie meet up again at the hospital. Caroline is upset Patch and Kayla can't be at Stephanie's wedding. "When I found out mom is out of touch I thought it was a sign," says Stephanie.

"She's always been out of touch," says Caroline, "Why is this different?"

"Now no one has to ever know Phillip cheated on Melanie," says Stephanie.

Daniel overhears, "Cheating on my daughter... I'll kill him."

Phillip is at Daniel and Chloe's place. Brady arrives. Hey they can have a small meeting of the "I've banged Chloe club." Brady announces he and Nicole broke up.

Nicole arrives at the DiMera mansion. EJ answers the door and Nicole snaps, "You bastard!"

Melanie wonders if Nathan loves her why he's marrying Stephanie. Her own sacred marital vows notwithstanding. Nathan explains he was going to tell Stephanie, but before he could he talked to a patient about the years of happiness she had with her husband even though he wasn't her soul-mate, "I truly believe I can be happy with Stephanie."

"Man, that fever really went to your brain, didn't it," asks Melanie.

Nathan reminds her she's married and says they can't blow the happiness they have.

Abe walks in on Dr. Ben and Lexie as they hug. It's not the first time he's found Lexie in the arms of another man.

Will, Gabi and Rafe continue to be puzzled by the photos. Rafe suggests reprinting the photos.

Nicole spews hatred for EJ. He asks what happened when she gave Brady the old heave-ho. "I gave him the heave," says Nicole, "But since I'm gone he doesn't' have the ho any more."

Gabi, Will and Rafe arrive at the Hernandez Hovel to reprint the pictures. Rafe goes to work on the computer, trying to find the on-off switch.

Melanie and Nathan decide if they got together they'd just annoy each other.

Caroline and Stephanie find Daniel. They say hi and stammer around. Daniel is distracted as they kid around about the wedding. Distracted Daniel leaves.

Brady tells Chloe he and Nicole just realized things weren't working. He changes the subject. Chloe goes to change Parker's diapers and send them to the DOOL script department.

Phillip tells Brady if he's broken up with Nicole they can't trust her.

EJ refuses to let Nicole see Sydney until she moves out of the Kiriakis mansion. Nicole argues. EJ suggests she move in with him.

So the reprinted pictures still look peculiar. Rafe suggests not telling Sami. Will and Gabi leave. Rafe stares at the pictures and sighs, then he also leaves.

Abe gets jealous. Dr. Ben decides this would be a good time to skedaddle. Abe spells things out for Lexie, "What was going on between you and Ben Walters."

"Nothing more than was going on between me and Tek," says Lexie.

Melanie changes the subject and tells him she and Phillip are trying to have a baby. Then she says she can't stop thinking about what they both said in quarantine.

"What was that," asks Nathan.

"We both said, 'AAAAAHHHHH I'M SO SICK I THINK I'M GOING TO DIE.'"

Chloe brings the baby back out as Phillip leaves. Chloe says things seemed tense between Brady and Phillip. Brady says it's a work situation and brushes it off. Chloe hands Parker to him and says she wishes Brady was happy. Brady says breaking up is for the best, "Especially when you're breaking up with Nicole... or you for that matter"

EJ clarifies and says Nicole can move into the DiMera Cottage. She thinks he wants her around so he can watch her, but backs off and EJ convinces her. He tells her to go get her things.

Abe continues to spew venom at Lexie. Lexie defends herself and says she was worried about Theo. "So," snorts Abe, "Instead of calling your husband you fall into the arms of a guy who might have a little sympathy and understanding."

Nathan and Melanie join Stephanie and Caroline at the hospital. Caroline says she will throw her a fantastic wedding shower. Dr. Ben overhears. Nathan says they're getting married sooner than they thought. "I don't think so," says Dr. Ben.

Daniel paces at the dock and wonders if he heard things right. Chloe calls and says she'll meet him at the pier. Daniel continues to be distracted as Phillip walks up.

Henderson walks in as Nicole sends Brady flying, "You bastard, you lied to me!"

"You're right," says Brady, "I'm not pregnant. It's foam rubber."

Rafe shows up at the DiMera mansion telling EJ he wants to talk about Johnny. EJ is skeptical.

Abe shifts gears and says he overreacted. He apologizes and Lexie says she's only interested in one man... at a time.

Ben says he's concerned about Nathan just coming off his illness. Nathan reminds Ben he's a doctor and would know if there were any issues. Ben congratulates them on their pending disaster and leaves.

Daniel tells Chloe he'll see her soon and hangs up. He and Phillip have a staredown. "Tell me you didn't cheat on my daughter," says Daniel.

Brady and Nicole argue for Henderson's benefit. Brady gives her an ultimatum, it's Sydney or him. Henderson runs out screaming as Brady and Nicole fall into each other's arms. "We should break up more often," says Brady.

EJ tells Rafe about Sami's ugly encounter with Johnny earlier, "She explained to Johnny she won't see him or Sydney again." He tells Rafe one of the conditions of their arrangement is that EJ won't mess up Rafe's employment with the SPD. Rafe will mess that up all on his own.

Rafe hands EJ the pictures and asks what he sees.

"I never realized how much Johnny looks like Justin Bieber," says EJ.

Melanie flashes back to telling Nathan she heard him say he loves her.

Ben and Nathan walk in. Ben apologizes for being intrusive. Nathan says Stephanie is the best thing that's ever happened to him. "You must have had a dismal life so far," says Ben.

Abe says, "I sometimes wonder if I'm in denial."

"You certainly are if you think I can remain faithful," says Lexie.

In spite of that Abe says he loves Lexie more than she'll ever know.

"And I love more men than you'll ever know," says Lexie. Abe leaves. Lexie stomps out.

Brady and Nicole rough-romp.

Rafe urges EJ to look at the pictures and stop spewing wisecracks.

Nicole and Brady languish in the aftershock... uh... glow. Nicole tells him she'll be living in the DiMera guest house. Brady isn't sure that is a good idea, and thinks this is about Sydney. Nicole says maybe it is, but she can't give up on her. She begs him to understand.

EJ says he knows Rafe wants to see Johnny. Rafe says it's not about him, suggests EJ should look at Johnny's left eye in the photos and perhaps see a doctor.

Daniel gets nasty with Phillip and says he saw him in the pub with Bambi Tooloose and again wonders if Phillip has cheated on his daughter.

Stephanie is with Melanie in a patient room. She gets off the phone from making wedding arrangements. Melanie is distant as Stephanie says she can't believe her wedding is happening, "I'm a lucky girl."

"I wonder if you know how Nathan really feels," asks Melanie.

Brady thinks EJ may be trying to keep an eye on Nicole. She says it will be fun for them to sneak around and find cheap motels. Nothing gets Brady's attention like talking about cheap motels (or, if he goes there with Nicole, I guess you'd have to call them ho-tels). "I think you can rise above this," says Nicole.

"Rising above," says Brady, "that's never been a problem for me." He 'rises above' and goes in for another round.

EJ stares at Johnny's photo and wonders.

Rafe gets back to the Hernandez Hovel and starts to make a call, but Lexie interrupts looking for Sami. Rafe tells her he and Sami heed her help.

Daniel grabs Phillip's lapels, "You thought you could get away with cheating on my daughter!" Chloe walks up and grabs and eyeful.

Previews
========
Nicole asks, "EJ, is something wrong with Johnny?"

Stephanie asks Melanie, "Are you insinuating that Nathan is in love with you?"

Daniel whines at Phillip, "I know the truth! I know it!"

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Another Bumbling Idiot At The SPD

2010-12-13T11:02:00.000-08:00

Chloe shows up at the Maggie's place to see Phillip. Phillip greets her, "I have something for you that Daniel should not know about."

Chloe flashes back to the romp they had in her apartment, "That won't be the first thing you had for me we don't want Daniel to know about."

Melanie arrives at Daniel and Chloe's apartment and gushes over Parker, "Pretty soon, he'll be Uncle Parker." Uncle... half brother... who knows? On this show it's hard to tell and who can keep track anyway? Daniel wonders if she's trying to get pregnant. Well, we know for sure it won't be a virgin birth. Daniel questions the plan for her and Phillip to have a baby. Melanie gets ticked off.

Stephanie tells Caroline she's not going to blab about Phillip being the father. She says she doesn't want to rock the boat with Nathan.

Sami wraps Christmas presents and broods. Then the brooding turns to throwing things. Rafe comes in as a deadly object flies into the wall beside him. "I like mad," he tells Sami, "It's better than sad." Sami whines and plays 'poor Sami,' she wonders if this will be a hard Christmas for Johnny.

EJ tries to get Johnny's attention. Johnny gets bratty and demands to see his mommy.

Abe shows up at the hospital and finds Lexie and Theo in an examining room. Lexie tells Theo to show Daddy his surprise. It's a book. Theo reads and Abe reels back in shock, "He's reading, at a level higher than me."

Johnny's cruisin' for a bruisin. He sasses EJ who tells him not to use that tone of voice. EJ looks at a family picture Johnny scribbled and says he wishes he was in it. Johnny tears up the picture.

Rafe has a new gig. Again. Now he's Detective Rafe with the SPD. He and Sami continue to bicker about his wretched tree job as he leaves. Sami gets a call. EJ tells her he needs to see her right away.

Daniel bobs and weaves and tries to smooth things over with Melanie. She reminds him she's been married longer than he has, but Daniel wants to make sure she and Phillip are willing to give up the things they have now to devote time to taking care of a baby. Melanie insists she can handle both a baby and her career. Daniel asks, "Why are you in a rush to have a baby?"

Stephanie announces she told Nathan she wants to get married ASAP. Caroline thinks that will bring Kayla back to Salem. Nathan walks in and wants to know what's up.

Abe chuckles about Theo reading the book, but discovers Theo can't remember what he read. Kind of like you will be when you get done reading this blog. Abe congratulates him anyway, as Lexie takes him off, saying she'll be right back.

Sami arrives at DiMeralvania. EJ tells her about Johnny's tantrums, "He wants to see his mother. Maybe I will let you see him, but we need to get a couple things straight first."

Phillip tells Chloe the happiness Daniel and Clhoe have with Parker got to him and Melanie. He pulls out a piece of paper that turns out to be the song Chloe wrote for Joy. When she wrote it she didn't think she might live long enough to see Joy, and Phillip thought maybe Chloe would want to sing it to Parker.

We have a flashback to Phillip having Chloe take her glasses off in high school. No de-bra-ification flashback, though. Chloe reminisces and thanks him for being a part of her life. Hugs.

Lexie comes back in with Abe. They talk about Theo's lack of understanding. Must be hereditary. Abe asks about how Sami is doing. Lexie says she saw Johnny at the DiMera mansion but didn't see Sami, because Sami gave EJ custody. Lexie thinks EJ has leverage over her.

Sami accuses EJ of torturing Johnny by keeping him from his mother. EJ threatens to squeal about Sami shooting him, "Our son needs closure and that is why you are here. You are going to go upstairs and tell him you don't love him any more."

Stephanie tells Nathan her dad is better and he and Kayla have been assigned to Zanzibar. Nathan wants to wait to get married until Patch and Kayla can be there, or until the Cubs win the World Series, whichever is longer.

Will comes in and says she's there to see Gabi.

Abe finds Bo at the station and asks what's going on with Sami and EJ, "It's your duty to find out what happened. If Sami shot EJ you have to bring her in. Do you want to keep your job?"

"Not if I have to DO my job," says Bo.

Rafe arrives at the Kiriakis mansion, "I'm signing onto the SPD. It's not official yet, so before I sign on I want to offer you a deal." Victor wonders what that says about Rafe's devotion to the law. Rafe says they both have a common enemy. Common enemy, yes. Common sense, no. "It's EJ — I want that SOB out of my wife's life," says Rafe.

Sami insists telling Johnny she doesn't love him will destroy him. EJ thinks it will make it easier for Johnny to move on with his life. "You're holding all the cards," says Sami, "But I can still stand here and tell you to go to hell."

She storms out and Bo calls telling her to get down to the station.

Melanie says she wants to give her child all the things she never had when she was growing up (HA! As if she grew up). Daniel reminds her she said she loved Nathan and a baby won't solve that problem. Chloe comes in.

Stephanie doesn't want to wait until Patch and Kayla can be there for the wedding.

Will wants to talk about last night. Gabi says she thinks they got caught up in things. Will thinks they didn't get caught up in enough things.

Bo thinks Abe’s attitude has to do with reelection. Abe threatens to fire him and Roman if they don't do the right thing, which would be for them to quit.

Victor says there is something about Rafe he likes. Probably the fact he can outsmart him anytime he wants. Rafe says when he brings EJ down, he'll let Victor take the news to Stefano.

EJ is back with Johnny telling him his mommy doesn't want to see him.

Sami reminds Abe of some of the things he's done and he didn't resign. She goes overboard talking about how Lexie cheated on him, "Stay the hell out of our lives."

Phillip arrives at Daniel and Chloe's place. He peeks at his brother-in-law/son/bastard.whatever.

Gabi doesn't want Will to think she's one of those girls who comes on to every guy. Will consults the Guy Manual for the proper response and comes up with, "What's wrong with girls like that?" Gabi drags out pictures she took and Will zones out as he looks at them, "Did you see this?"

Bo backs Sami off, "Since the SPD is hiring Rafe, Abe needs your assurance no one will come forward and accuse Rafe with being an accessory to attempted murder." Sami assures him they won't. Abe leaves and Bo follows.

Sami calls EJ and says she'll come over and say whatever he wants her to say to Johnny, but he has to do something in return.

Lexie reads Theo's book and cries. Dr. Ben walks in and senses something is wrong. "How could you tell," asks Lexie.

"When I saw you about to slit your wrists," says Dr. Walters.

Gabi wonders if they should show the pictures to Sami. Will says Sami is freaked out enough and they should take the pictures to Rafe.

Rafe shows up at the cop-shop and Bo asks where Sami is. Rafe dunno. Since he's clueless Bo decides that qualifies him for the job.

Sami's deal is EJ can't stop Rafe from getting the job at the SPD. EJ says, "Why should I care if there is another bumbling idiot at the SPD?"

Johnny comes in and Sami gives him the bad news. EJ says Sami is there to say goodbye. Sami backs him up as Johnny squeals and squirms. She breaks his heart and says she doesn't love him. She pushes him away and gives the high-sign. EJ picks Johnny up and Johnny returns the secret Cap'n Whiz Bang Secret Code sign to Sami.

Lexie and Dr. Ben talk about Theo. Lexie says she thought Theo made a breakthrough, but the news isn't as good as she thought. Ben is supportive, "If you ever need to unload, I'm (say it with her) there for you." Hugs. Abe walks in and sees the pair clamped together.

Stephanie and Caroline are at the hospital. Caroline finds Stephanie calling Adrienne about the wedding and worries because Patch and Kayla can't be there. Stephanie agrees this isn't an idea situation, but thinks things will be OK, "What's right is subjective." Translation: the end justifies the means, there are no absolutes and do as I say, not as I do. She picks up a megaphone, turns toward Daniel and says, "No one ever needs to know Phillip cheated on Melanie."

Daniel apparently overhears and stares.

Will and Gabi show the mystery pictures to Rafe.

EJ kicks Sami out. Johnny and Sami share the hi-sign as she goes. EJ hells Johnny he's a brave boy. Johnny says he's fine.

Outside, Sami says goodbye to Johnny, "This isn't over, EJ. Not by a long-shot."

Previews
========

Nathan tells Melanie, "We've gotta get past this selfish attraction so no one else gets hurt."

Nicole screams at Brady. "You bastard! You lied to me!"

Rafe tells EJ, "Just look at the pictures and tell me what you see!"

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

A Halfway House For Over-The-Hill Hookers

2010-12-10T11:08:00.000-08:00

Victor sits at his PC and spews vile language à la Bo yesterday. The Salem potty-mouth patrol certainly has its work cut out for it.

"Yeouch," says Phillip, "Too bad my ears aren't artificial like the rest of me. What's wrong?"

"Wikileaks has started releasing information on Titan's activities," says Victor.

"Wow, they really have hit the bottom of the barrel," says Phillip."

Not only that," says Victor, "Vivian has sent me a bill for the sarcophagus." He thinks Vivian is on the move and could destroy all of them, "She's an inane, illogical, irrational woman."

Meanwhile, over at Clhoe and Daniel's shabby place, not-befitting-a-doctor-of-Dan's-status, Chloe bounces Parker around as Daniel beams with joy.

Caroline kneels at church and begs God to forgive her. "I am a forgiving God, sayeth the Lord, but I can only go so far. You've exceeded your limit."

Bo and Carly are at the pub worrying about Hope.

The warden tells Hope to write a letter to Bo telling him she had a relapse, but is fine. Let's see, she had a relapse to completely freaking out, but is fine. Yeah, Bo will probably buy it. Hope refuses, but the warden threatens.

Sami walks in the woods. A hand clamps her by the mouth and drags her into the bushes.

RAFE!!

He shushes her. They cower and hide. EJ walks up, "Well, well, well, what are you doing here? You just made a big mistake."

Will and Gabi make out. Gabi chickens out and says she has to go. Will, however wants her to stay. All guys go through this scene at some point.

What EJ saw was Kate. He tells her, "I'm out here looking for a snake, and I think I found one."

The warden says all Hope has to do is tell Bo it's better that he doesn't see her... "Or else," asks Hope."

"By Jove," says the warden, "I think she's got it."

Hope says if she disappears Bo will never stop looking for her, "Your little ride is over."

Bo doesn't want to cancel his and Carly's visit to Clhoe and Daniel. At least that's what he says.

Chloe and Daniel revel in their happiness. Chloe bounces Parker on her knee as they talk about how great life is. They kiss. Parker turns green from all the bouncing.

Caroline tells God she didn't mean to hurt anyone by changing the paternity tests, "I will take that secret to my grave."

"Yeah, but you won't be coming up here with it," says God.

Will stammers around and says he doesn't want Gabi to leave, but didn't mean to order her around. Instead of ordering her to leave he orders up some more smooching.

Rafe and Sami cower as EJ picks up a stuffed snake and says Sydney can't go to sleep without it. Kate says she's an expert in going to bed with snakes, so she should talk to Sydney. So snakes have ho's, too? They walk off.

Sami and Rafe leave as Rafe tells her they have to have a long talk. Translation: Rafe will have a long talk and Sami will have a long listen.

Inside the rumpus room, Kate says she is there for her memoirs. "Chapter one," says EJ, "How to bake a brownie. Where are you going to live... is there a halfway house for over the hill hookers?" Kate says she thinks Sami really missed an opportunity blowing his brains out. Well, in Sami's defense you can't hit what isn't there.

EJ claims he has won. Kate tells him if he thinks that he's a complete idiot. No comment.

Rafe lectures Sami for sneaking around the DiMera mansion. Sami defends herself as hubby scolds.

A babe who works for Phillip sends him a drink. Phillip sloughs it off, but the babe joins him anyway.

Carly and Bo arrive at Daniel's dump. Carly gushes about Parker. "Parker is like his daddy," says Chloe," He's got a way with the ladies." Well, Phillip certainly is a ladies man.

Bo says, "You're really lucky the way things worked out."

Chloe asks, "What do you mean by that?"

The warden gets nasty with Hope and orders her to write the letter, "Or I will be forced to make other arrangements." Hope sits and writes as Jane dictates.

"Bo. I've had some rough days here and have gotten myself into a bit of trouble."

EJ and Kate trade wisecracks, threats and taunts. Kate talks about Curtis taking her kids. EJ notes she is a horrible person and doesn't deserve to be a mother. She says Billie and Austin eventually found out like Sydney and Johnny will, and after that Curtis was dead to them. She implies the same will happen to EJ, "They will turn on you and the thing you want most in life will be gone."

"My Maserati," asks EJ.

Sami continues to defend herself. Rafe continues to stand as firm as the Rock of Gibraltar. With the same IQ. Sami worries about what all this will do to Johnny.

Johnny sleeps... he wakes and screams for Sami.

Bo explains what he said was about them thinking they couldn’t have kids for awhile, and now they've got Parker. The boys go for brews as Chloe and Carly talk about being relieved Bo didn't say that because he had somehow found out the secret.

Caroline continues to pray. God promises to give her anything she asks for as long as she shuts up.

Kate and EJ... same-o, same-o. The butler interrupts and says Johnny has had a nightmare, "He's calling for his mother." Kate shakes her head.

Sami and Rafe have taken it to the park bench. They haven't changed the subject, though. Sami worries Johnny will be messed up for life. Like mother like son. "If EJ can't be a good father I'll go crazy," she whines. Too late.

EJ tries to calm Johnny. "Tell mommy to come back in here now," screams the kid.

The warden looks over what Hope has written and passes judgment, "It looks good. Your handwriting sucks, though." She wonders why Hope couldn't have just left well enough alone. The warden leaves. Hope stares.

Phillip tells Bambi he's the boss and a married man. "Married men are a specialty of mine," says Bambi.

Chloe says she's happy Carly is in Parker's life and is sorry Carly has to keep the secret. Bo gets a call, "That's kind of strange." He gets off and says he has to go to the station, "There is a letter there for me from Hope." Daniel leaves with Bo to get take-out. Or carry-in, as it were.

Will and Gabi break it up as Rafe and Sami walk in. Gabi stammers about why she is there and leaves. Sami sends Will. He thinks they should deal with it. Sami hopes Johnny knows she loves him.

Johnny says his mommy was there. EJ doesn't believe him. Johnny demands to see his mommy. Evil daddy says no.

Phillip tells Bambi, "I am married... very married. I've only gotten one woman pregnant since my wedding." She smooches him as Daniel walks in and grabs an eyeful. Phillip scoots.

Will comes back out in the living room looking for his phone. He finds it in the couch and texts Gabi. He asks if she's studying. She texts back that she's not, "Something else got my attention."

"Really? Same thing happened to me tonight," texts Will.

Rafe joins Sami in bed. He promises he won't give up, until he gets some.

Johnny wails at EJ, "I WANT MOMMY. I HATE YOU!"

Hope peers through the bars and hopes Bo reads her letter very carefully.

Bo reads about Hope attacking a trustee. Hope mumbles, "You've got to figure it out, Bo."

Bo reads, "Not a minute goes by I don't think about our precious Ciara." He looks up, "What the hell is that?" How soon Bo forgets his own kid.

Chloe wonders if it's tough for Carly to watch what Bo and Hope are going through.

A viewer stands up and shouts, "You have no idea how tough it is to watch!"

Carly says everything happened fast with her and Bo and it's hard to get his attention. Chloe thinks Carly must be sick of that.

Carly says, "Perhaps the past should be left in the past."

"Of course it should," says Chloe, "If we didn't leave the past in the past, there wouldn't be any room for the future in the future."

Albert Einstein steps into the scene, "Excuze me, ladiez, but zometimez zee pazt is in zee future. Zince E=MC² for examplez, if you travel in zee rocket zhip at more zan zee zpeed of light, time vill reverze. You vill catch up vith zee pazt zo in zat example, zee pazt is in zee future. Zo in zee future you might run into zome dead relatives and zat's vhy I called it zee Theory of Relative-ity."

"Where on earth," asks Carly, "did you come up with that crock of BS?"

"I ztudied advanzed algebra under Profezzor Rafe Hernandez," says Einstein.

Bambi and a guy giggle together. Victor tells Daniel if Bambi weren't so good at her job he'd fire her at Titan, "Shes a real man eater." He also tells Daniel Bambi reports to Phillip.

EJ comes back to the rumpus room and asks why Kate is still there. Kate says she wanted to see how things went with Johnny, "Did he ask for his mommy?" EJ clams up and tells her to leave. Kate says she knows he's worried, "And you should be." She leaves. EJ stares, "Desperate times call for desperate measures. We need to have another chat, Samantha."

Rafe tells Sami to have faith. Sami flashes back to giving Johnny the secret sign.

After remembering the sign, Sami tells Rafe everything will be OK. Translation: Trouble on the horizon.

Previews
========

Daniel asks Melanie, "Why are you in a rush to have a baby?"

Rafe tells Victor, "I want that SOB out of my wife's life... permanently."

Sami tells EJ, "I can still stand here and tell you to go to hell."

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Breakup Sex

2010-12-09T11:03:00.000-08:00

Bo is at the pub. He grits at his cell phone and spews a few choice words which, on a decent show would be bleeped out. I mean we all know when you can't get hold of someone it's the phone's fault, right? Carly walks in.

At the same time, a group of burly, unshaven men walk up to Bo. One of them speaks for the group, "We're from the Longshoremen, Truckers and Sailors Decency League and we're going to tell your mommy on you and have her wash your potty mouth out with soap."

As the guys leave, the governor returns Bo's call. Bo says, "Governor, I know it's late..."

"No," insists the governor, "It's not that. I didn't return your call because I'm here with Ashley Dupré and I had to be careful whom I talked to. I don't want her taking me down like she did my good buddy Elliott Spitzer."

"Spitzer's hooker," asks Bo, "I thought her name was Kristen."

"Oh, hell," snorts the governor, "This ho has more names than Marlena Evans-Craig-Bradford-Brady-Black-North-Black-DiMera-Black-DiMera."

"Whatever the case," says Bo, "you're the only one who can help me."

Hope wanders in her cell. The warden comes in and says it's time to go as soon as the other prisoner, Big Bertha, is ready to go. Hope says Bertha wants to kill her.

Brady and Nicole are in the Kiriakis den. He says she can't break up with him because EJ said so. Nicole says she fell in love with Sydney and has to do what EJ says.

EJ carries pajama-clad Johnny in for a big surprise. He has Johnny cover his eyes and when they get there... SA-PRIZE, SA-PRIZE! It's the new bike Johnny wanted for Christmas. "I changed my mind," whines Johnny, "I want an Official Red Ryder Carbine-Action Two-Hundred-Shot Air Rifle instead."

"OMG, no," says EJ, "You can't have one of those things. You'll shoot your eye out!"

"No I won't," insists Johnny, "I want to loan it to Mom. Maybe this time her aim will be better." Johnny throws a fit and runs out. In the background, the Beatles sing...

I'll buy you a brand new bike my friend, if it makes you feel all right
I'll give you anything my friend, if it makes you feel all right
For I don't care too much for money, money can't buy me love...
Stefano comes in and wonders what the problem is, "What happened?"

"Samantha."

Sami, Rafe, Will and Allie finish dinner. Sami cooked... stomach pump for dessert. Allie wants to know why Mommy gave the kids to EJ. Sami bobs and weaves and dodges the question. She goes off with Will and asks if he has a key to Stefano's place.

Will says, "Please tell me you're not thinking about going back there."

The guard handcuffs defiant Hope.

Sami says she has no choice and has to talk to Johnny. She begs Will for the key and asks him not to say anything to Rafe. Will says he doesn't know where it is. "FIND IT," orders mommy dearest.

"Find what," asks Rafe. Your butt with both hands.

Hope wrestles with the guard and begs for her help.

Bo gets a call from the warden, who asks to see him. Bo says he's on his way. Bo and Carly figure the governor made the call. Jen has joined them and wishes him luck.

The warden tells Leigh she's called off Hope's transfer because the governor called and threatened her if anything happens to Hope.

Brady now figures Sydney is more important to Nicole than him. This upsets him even though his latest drink is more important to him than Nicole. He reminds her Sydney is Sami's girl, not hers. He says he don' wan' nonna' EJ's snottiness any more.

Stefano gets off the phone and says the shipment from Thailand is coming tonight. EJ says he's not leaving. Stefano tells him Johnny will be fine and reminds him this Thailand transaction is 'delicate.' EJ hesitates, but goes with Stefano.

Sami apologizes for snapping but says she's stressed out. Like critical-mass level of stress. Rafe gets a call, "Where are they headed?" He gets off the phone and says EJ and Stefano are headed to the pier to intercept a shipment from Thailand. Rafe heads out. Sami gathers her things.

Jennifer and Carly share small talk. If they're talking it must be very small. Jennifer talks about Jack trying to find himself and pulls out a computer to show Carly graphic pictures of Jack's adventure. Carly looks and gasps.

Brady says he wants EJ to hear they broke up all on their own, and they will do that by having an ugly public breakup, "The whole town has to think we are through." He says he and Nicole will have it all when EJ believes they have really broken up.

Nicole says, "You're talking about us faking this breakup."

Will tries to stop Sami from running to the DiMera mansion. He'd have better luck trying to stop a locomotive with his bare hands. Sami begs. Will caves in and goes for the key. Sami stares at a picture of her kids.

Carly and Jennifer ramble about Jack's blog. Other than those posts Jennifer never hears from him, "I'd like to tell him where to put his digiree doo." Then they talk about Hope and Carly says Jen is no good to Hope if she puts herself in any danger.

Dr. God... uh... Walters comes in and immediately gets a call from the warden. He thanks her for the donor heart. The warden says no more organs until she deals with a situation. She thinks it will be over soon, though. Bo arrives as the warden gets off the phone. She tells Bo she has a problem, "It's your wife."

"That's been my problem for years," says Bo.

They tell Hope the transfer is off. Leigh comes in and says there are a few things she and Hope have to get straight.

Stefano and EJ wait at the pier. Rafe watches through his binoculars. From ten feet away.

Sami gets around the hundreds of security cameras, guards and dogs and enters the DiMera mansion.

Calamity Jane says Hope attacked another prisoner, just like she attacked those men last summer.

Leigh says she heard Hope has been trying to get her in trouble. Hope wants to know why Leigh is killing the inmates who come into the infirmary.

Brady tells Nicole what a joy it will be to go at each other's throats and then get together in secret to "work off the energy."

"I can't do it," says Nicole.

Gabi arrives at the Hernandez Hovel. She and Will talk about the missing kids and then how Gabi is dealing with Arianna's death. She talks about making Christmas tamales with Arianna, "There won't be any tamales this year."

Sami sneaks into Johnny's room. She kisses him. Johnny is thrilled. "Hurry," says Sami, "We have to get you to a babysitter. Mary comes in as Sami hides.

Bo says he thinks the warden is trying to pull something. "Are you calling me a liar," asks the warden.

"No, liar," says Bo.

The warden says nonetheless Hope is being a naughty girl. Bo says naughty girls are his favorite kind. He demands to see Hope and plays his 'governor' trump card.

Leigh claims she's never killed a prisoner, but there are prisoners worth more to her dead than alive, insinuating Hope is one of them.

Dr. Walters brags about his latest heart transplant. He and Jennifer giggle about Christmas and she offers to help him shop. They make a date as Carly walks back up to them. Ben leaves. Jennifer and Carly talk about how nice he is, "It's like he has an extra heart or two," says Jennifer.

Rafe spies as EJ and Stefano wait. Stefano brings up the fact Kate is gone and tells him she's moving out. EJ thinks that's appropriate. Stefano says he fell in love with her, "She got under my skin, not unlike Samantha Brady is for you." Marco calls. Stefano tells EJ they will be there a little longer.

Sami hides as Mary talks to Johnny about Christmas and tries to fix his bad dream. He dreamed Sami was there. Mary leaves and Johnny asks Sami why she hates him.

Gabi and Will have made it to the couch and continue their conversation. Will moves in and kisses her. Looks like Gabi's mourning period is over.

Sami says she could never hate him. Johnny shows way, way more maturity than any real kid would ever show and Sami rationalizes their behavior earlier. Sami says she came with a plan to make Johnny feel better. She reminds him of last year's Christmas pageant when she said she'd be in the audience and put up her hand if he got scared. She makes the same promise and says the hand up is her sign that she loves him, no matter what she is saying.

EJ worries that his children are at home without him during this delay. He heads for home. Stefano rolls his eyes. Rafe watches and wonders where EJ is headed in such a hurry.

The warden interrupts Leigh and Hope's love-fest. She sends Leigh off and says she has a job for Hope, "You have to do exactly as I say."

"I don't know," says Hope, "That would require concentration."

Nicole thinks EJ will see through a staged breakup. Just like he saw through her fake pregnancy. Brady grabs her, "OK..." passionate kiss... "But there is no more of this." Then he pulls off her top, "I wanna have breakup sex." Everyone knows that's the best kind.

Sami goes over the love-sign again and then hugs Johnny. She promises they will be together again soon. Johnny begs her not to go, but blathering Sami gives him the 'hi-sign' and leaves.

As Sami gets to the front door she hears someone so she runs through the rumpus room and into the garden. A hand grabs her and covers her mouth.

Previews
========

The warden asks, "Are you threatening me?" Hope says, "One way or another, your little ride is over."

Bo says, "You're really lucky the way things worked out." Chloe asks, "What do you mean by that?"

EJ asks someone, "What are you doing here?" Rafe and Sami watch.

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His Usual Menschy Self

2010-12-08T12:09:00.000-08:00

Stefano sits at his desk in the rumpus room as he talks on the phone. Apparently his orders have been carried out, whatever they are, and Kate will soon find out how ugly life can be when she crosses the great Stefano D.

Meanwhile, a priest, a rabbi, two bums and a dog walk into a bar. Oh... you've heard that one. Never mind. Anyway, Kate is also there. The bartender walks up to Kate, "What's a girl like you doing in a nice place like this?"

Kate orders, "I'll have a Hasbeen Ho."

"What's that," asks the bartender.

"It's a Harvey Will-banger with a Geritol chaser," says Kate.

"I'm sorry," says the bartender, "I've been instructed not to serve you. In fact, no place is going to serve you." Kate flames out, has her own personal apocalypse and stomps out.

Brady and Victor are in the Kiriakis den. Brady suggests putting a little arsenic in the drinks they are having to build a tolerance. Victor says Vivian wouldn't use arsenic, "It works too fast. Don't worry... I'll take care of Vivian."

Gus and Vivian are outside the pub. He hands her an envelope and Vivian chortles about total destruction.

Johnny squeals with delight as Sami and Rafe walk up. He wiggles away from EJ and runs to her, "Mommy... I miss you and I love you." Johnny begs to go with her, but EJ reminds Sami of the rules.

Brady thinks Victor sounds pretty serious, "Do I see an endless journey in Vivian's future? You know the sarcophagus is still available." Victor thinks Brady has had too many drinks. "What," asks Brady, "Since when is sixteen martinis too many?" Victor thinks Vivian will wait to make her move until they lower their guard. He wants a confab with Phillip and Nicole to talk about her. Brady wonders why he left out Kate and if they can depend on her.

Kate is back at the DiMera mansion wondering if Stefano is playing games by canceling her credit cards, "As if I didn't have my own money! I used your cards because I enjoyed being your wife."

Stefano consults the Guy Manual to see if that's true, "See the chapter entitled, 'That's what they all say.'"

"You used my credit cards because you enjoyed using my money," says Stefano. Kate says it's over and storms out just like she did the last several times she said it was over.

Rafe settles Johnny down and tells him it's a special FBI plan to have him go with his daddy. Even Johnny isn't stupid enough to buy that but Sami backs Rafe up as Johnny screams for her to take him with her. Sami drags him over to EJ as Johnny clamps onto her leg. EJ takes the screaming, wiggling kid and leaves. Sami falls apart and apologizes to Allie. "Why are you telling me you're sorry," asks Allie.

"Because Johnny gets to live an a mansion and unless Rafe or I get a job, you'll be living in the street next month."

Back at the Hernandez Hovel Rafe tries to console Sami with a kiss, but Sami isn't interested.

Nicole is with EJ in the rumpus room reminding him Sydney cried all the way home. EJ says Sydney and Johnny will get over it. "OK," says Nicole, "Father knows best." She says she has to go and EJ assumes she's running to Brady, so he tells her to go say goodbye to Sydney for the last time. Nicole wonders why he has to act this way. "My acting is fine," says EJ, "They don't exactly require Shakespearean thespians on this show." He thinks Nicole hasn't thought things through, primarily because that would require thought. He says if Samantha gets access to Sydney, Nicole doesn't.

Stefano joins Kate in the atrium. Kate rants about the revenge Stefano is exacting on her. Stefano says he's the one who should be upset, "You are the reason Samantha shot my son." Kate runs through a litany of everything EJ did to cause that and it's back to the same old Stef 'n Ho argument we've heard over and over.

"I'm not going to change... not even for you," yells Kate.

EJ repeats what he said about Nicole being out if Sami gets access to Sydney. He also reminds her Sydney is getting to know Nicole again and that makes EJ the nice guy for allowing that. Nicole wonders if that's true, why he's making her choose between Sydney and Brady. EJ grouses at her and it's... you guessed it... no more Mr. Nice Guy.

Rafe is upset over what Sami just had to go through, "You don't have to keep it bottled up inside. I am (say it with him) here for you."

Speaking of bottles, Brady rants about dealing with Vivian. Victor wants to talk about Nicole. Brady says Nicole will do whatever he says.

Vivian chuckles and says Kate will sink in her own little hell. Gus is happy to see her thrilled and wonders what to do about Nicole. Vivian thinks she'll suffer when she sees Brady fall apart.

Stefano says he knew what Kate was when he married her, but also knew after she was his wife he would get it for free. Kate says they do have issues, but not all of them are because of her. Stefano agrees. Kate says he's been a good husband and also says she has been happy with him. Stefano says he's been happy too. Despite all this hunky doryness, Kate thinks they need to compromise, "Can you meet me halfway?"

"I love you... but no," says Stefano, "I will never change." Looks like it's a 'rock and hard place' kind of day for Stef 'n Ho.

Sami says she doesn't want to keep things bottled up, but she's worried about what EJ might do, and they don't have a choice, "I will find a way to fix this."

Rafe whines, "Get off my case, Sami. The Christmas tree isn't that crooked." Rafe says he wants to handle things. I know what you're thinking, but I didn't say a word...

Nicole says all she ever wanted was to have love and a family. A foam rubber family, apparently. she wonders if EJ is still out to punish her for that, "After what you did to Sami and Johnny today you must have no heart at all."

Back to Victor and Brady. "I don't want to be judgmental," says Victor, "But Nicole is always out for herself." Did you ever notice whenever people start a sentence saying they don't want to be judgmental, they immediately become judgmental? Vic wonders if Brady can get Nicole on board. Brady assures him he can.

Kate says she's always tried to be loyal. "Except when it didn't suit you," says Stefano. Kate wonders if he can forgive her. Stefano ain' sure.

Kate blubbers, "I can't live like this. For you revenge is like an addiction, so I guess it is best to let go."

"I'll have one of the maids pack your things," says Stefano, "Where should I have them sent?"

"Salem Inn," says Kate, "I always get a lot of business there." She caresses his cheek and says she wishes things could have gone differently. So does Stefano. Kate leaves. Stefano sits on the bench and sighs.

Vivian walks up to him and chatters about losing a bracelet at his place. Stefano remembers she wasn't out there in the garden yesterday. She asks if something is troubling him.

Victor finds Kate at the pier. He says he's left several messages because Vivian is out there, "She won't rest until we're all roasting in her particular brand of hell." He thinks Kate seems rattled and asks if she's having marital problems, "Stefano's not being his usual menschy self?"

EJ claims he's on top of the world. Nicole says he's become a Stefano-clone. Then she wonders if he's not even a little worse than Stefano. She asks why EJ hates Brady so much, "Because he helped me keep my secret? Because he was (say it with her) there for me after you threw me out?"

EJ says why he hates Brady isn't important, "Either Sydney goes or Brady goes."

Sami panics and wonders how Rafe is going to handle EJ. "You think I'm gonna pop the guy," asks Rafe, "I'm not gonna do something stupid, like I usually do, but I don't know what I'm gonna do. I'll take care of him." Translation: look for doing something stupid to reach new heights. Rafe says they will get through this because he loves Sami. Sami loves Rafe, too, and the lovebirds part as they kibitz about Rafe's poor job on the Christmas tree. Sami just can't let it go.

Vivian says she heard Stefano order Kate's things sent to the Salem Inn and wonders what that's about.

Kate tells Victor why Stefano has a bug up his butt and says she left him because they can't work things out. Victor chuckles and says he knew they couldn't stay married very long, "As long as you're not living with Stefano, would you like to move into the Kiriakis mansion?" A girl can't have access to too many mansions, you know.

Nicole says she's made her decision, "Brady's out." EJ tells her she's made a wise choice. Nicole snort, "Go to hell." She turns and stomps out.

"I'm already there," says EJ.

Sami discovers the laughing penguin and realizes it's Johnny's, but is interrupted from her brood-mood as Allie screams. Sami rushes for Allie's room.

Vivian says she hopes Stefano's marital problems aren't because of her. Stefano tells her to scram and leaves. Vivian calls Gus and tells him about her conversation with Stefano, "There is trouble in DiMerasville."

Kate thinks Victor is joking. Victor swears he's not. He tries to impress on her how serious Vivian is. Kate worries about when Stefano finds out she's back living under Victor's roof. "Making him crazy is an added bonus," says Victor. Kate agrees to move in.

Nicole comes into the Kiriakis den and asks Brady to fix her a drink. "Sure," says Brady, "What would you like?"

"I heard about this new drink called a Hasbeen Ho..."

Brady defends her, "A has-been ho? No way. You're definitely not a has-been."

Nicole tells him about her arrangement with EJ, "I have to stop seeing you if I want to keep seeing Sydney."

"That SOB," says Brady, "Every time he tries to control you I'm the fall guy. No more. You're not going anywhere." Hugs. So instead of being the fall guy this time, Brady will just settle for EJ's hand-me-downs... And Granddad's, too, but that's a different story.

EJ sits with Johnny. Johnny asks why his mommy hates him. EJ says, "I love you and that's what's important. And I'm the one with money, and that's even more important."

Sami carries Allie out and tries to console her after her nightmare, "I will never leave you."

Allie sees right through that one, "But you left Johnny." OUCH! I guess it's just a bit too much for Sami to outsmart a toddler. Nonetheless, Sami swears she will fix things.

Previews
========

Hope wrestles with a guard, "Listen to me... I'm being set up."

Nicole tells Brady, "You're talking about faking this breakup."

Will says to Sami, "Please tell me you're not thinking about going back there."

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That Old Bat

2010-12-07T11:03:00.000-08:00

Sami dreams... She runs down at the dock... she finds a man standing with his back to her... she runs up to him... when he turns around she discovers EJ. "EJ," she says, "You are the only man I will ever love." She kisses him and runs on only to see another man. He turns and she finds Austin. "Austin," she says, "You are the only man I will ever love." She kisses him and runs on only to see another man. He turns and she finds Franco. "Franco," she says, "You are the only man I will ever love." She kisses him and runs on only to see another man. He turns and she finds Brandon. "Brandon," she says, "You are the only man I will ever love." She kisses him and runs on only to see another man. He turns and she finds Lucas. "Lucas," she says, "You are the only man I will ever love." She kisses him and runs on only to see another man. He turns and she finds Rafe. "Rafe," she says, "You are the only man I will ever love." She kisses him and runs on only to find the Salem Rugby team. She kisses each one of them, "You are the only man I will ever love."

Sami runs on. She sees a policeman with his back turned. "Oh, yeah," says Sami, "The guys in the Salem Police Department... I almost forgot about them." In spite of the fact she's got the worst case of chapped lips ever, Sami the trooper knows she has to press on. She walks up to the cop. Instead of kissing him, however, she begs him to help get her baby back. The cop turns around and she finds EJ again. EJ cackles...

"MWAHAHAHAHAHA!"

Sami wakes with a start, "NO!"

Rafe wakes up and sees Sami falling apart. Oh-so-empathetic Rafe is supportive, "Everything will be fine... just as soon as you have sex with me."

"Of course," says Sami, "Because you are the only man I will ever love... today."

Nicole stands in the Kiriakis mansion den and remembers EJ's ultimatum, "Damn him... I can't choose." Brady rushes in and sees something is wrong. Nicole hugs.

EJ is with Sydney and Johnny, "We are ready to go Christmas shopping." Johnny asks if that includes Mommy.

Phillip begs Melanie, "Let's go back to bed and make a baby." Yeah, there are times men act like they want a kid.

Chloe comes into the living room with Daniel who is feeding Parker. Daniel plays like he doesn't mind the chore, but Chloe thinks Daniel breast feeding him is taking it a little far.

Stephanie calls Caroline ranting that Caroline doesn't care about the baby switcheroo. Nathan walks up and Stephanie tells him there is a big problem, "I have to tell you what's going on."

Kate staggers into the rumpus room where Stefano sits at his desk. She says she should have confided in him about Vivian and regrets she didn't. "Not as much as you're going to," says Stefano. Kate wants a fresh start. She asks if he's willing. "More than you know," says Stefano.

Sami tells Rafe about her EJ-nightmare.

Obnoxious Johnny wants to shop with Mommy. EJ quiets him and off they go.

Stefano goes through a litany of Kate’s sins. Well, a very small percentage of them, anyway. He asks if Kate told Victor about Chad. Kate says she's made mistakes, but not a fatal one like that would be. She insists she wasn't disrespecting him, and says she hopes he knows she loves him. Well, Stefano knows. Kate hugs him and begs, "Can we move past this?"

"Honestly," says Stefano, "that's all I want." Kate is ecstatic. She says she's off to consult about tonight’s menu, "I'll have the poison brownies removed." Stefano stops her and tells her there is a condition to his generosity.

Nathan gets a call and says he has to go. He arranges to meet up with Stephanie later at the pub. "I love you," says Stephanie.

"I love that we're together." Translation: the bloom is off the rose.

Caroline finds EJ and the kids outside the pub. She invites them in for hot chocolate but EJ declines. He says they won't be coming by again. Caroline begs him not to go.

Sami says, ""I feel like I'm reliving the same nightmare." I don't know about Sami, but the viewers certainly are reliving the same nightmare — over and over again. Rafe assures her they'll get the kids back. He says there is something in the living room he wants to show her.

"Is it bigger than a breadbox," asks Sami.

"Mine is," says Rafe.

Nicole unwraps herself from Brady and says she's worried that all the goodness with him is going to go away. She lies and says she's worried about Vivian, "That old bat is out for revenge."

Brady assures her they're not wasting any more time on Vivian. "No matter what happens I will always protect you." Translation, watch your back, Nicole.

Stefano says for him to move on he needs for Kate to regain his trust. Kate agrees and asks how. Stefano says he will tell, but first must make a phone call. He calls and cancels his appointment at Ho's R Us, since he's back in the saddle with Kate. He says he wants Kate to be a proxy for him. He hands her an envelope and instructions. Kate reads and has a hissy fit.

EJ doesn't want to argue in front of the children. Johnny wants to know what this is all about. Caroline says God will punish EJ for this.

Melanie isn't sure they should have kids now. "All I want to do is practice," says Phillip. Phillip says he wants ten kids. He moves in to get started on one of them.

Stefano calls Daniel. He congratulates him on Parker's arrival and says he is a man who doesn't forget, and he knows Daniel saved EJ's life. Daniel says he was just doing his job. If he were doing his civic duty, he'd have let EJ die. Stefano says he has a gift for Daniel to reward him, "It should arrive any moment."

Stefano hangs up and gives Kate a wrapped box, along with her marching orders. "NEVER," snorts Kate.

Brady interrupts Melanie and Phillip, wanting to talk about Vivian. Phillip gets a call and leaves. Brady tells Melanie he is the one responsible for putting Vivian in the sarcophagus. Melanie thinks Nicole blackmailed Brady into coming back to her.

Nicole wanders up and finds EJ and the kids at the dock. Nicole has a sack with a subtle product placement for a department store and EJ wonders who it's for.

Sami and Rafe walk into the living room.

Stephanie finds Caroline at the pub and tells her the truth has to come out. Caroline's wrath comes out instead.

Stefano gets huffy and accuses Kate of being disingenuous. Kate throws that back at him and a few other choice adjectives. Stefano reminds her he cleaned up Kate’s mess and kept her out of prison. Kate reminds him he got marriage and a bit o' nookie in exchange. Stefano says he thinks this little mission is a small price to pay. She grabs up the package and instructions and The Charge of the Kate brigade rides into the jaws of death, huffing and snorting as she goes.

Back at the pub, Caroline and Step-on-me keep up the same argument. Caroline appeals to Stephanie's sensibilities. She might as well appeal to a brick wall, which has a lot more sensibility. Finally Caroline gives up and tells Stephanie to do it, "I worry I won't (say it with her) be there for Sami. When Nathan was sick, Sami lost Sydney and Johnny to EJ. She'll never see them again. WAH-WAH-WAH-DA-WAHDA."

"When is she throwing the party," asks Stephanie.

Sami loves the Christmas decorations Rafe has set up, but just like a woman, can't help but criticize the socks off of the way he did it.

Brady insists Melanie is wrong. He says Nicole was angry when she found out. Melanie gets snotty. Brady snorts, "Don't talk like that about Nicole, I'm the only one who can trash her like that."

Nicole says the gift is for Chloe. It's a sweater and a scarf. EJ says he has a couple more stops to make and invites Nicole. Nicole declines. Sydney whines. Nicole caves in and changes her mind.

Kate arrives at Daniel's apartment. She hands them the mystery gift, "Congratulations."

Sami says she believes in Rafe, "I just don't believe you have the aptitude to decorate a room for Christmas." She says she wants to get into the Christmas spirit.

"Let's do it," says Rafe. I suspect they each have different definitions of "it."

Nathan walks up to Caroline and Stephanie and sees the angst, "Ladies, are you OK?"

Kate says the gift is something to show Daniel and Chloe how happy she and Stefano are about the way things turned out. She apologizes for what she did to the two of them, "I will hate myself for all the Days Of Our Lives for it. I am a liar. I am threatened by just about everything, especially younger, talented beautiful women. Chloe threatens me, too. Hopefully I will someday be a better person but until then I hope you will accept my apology." She turns and rushes out. Chloe thinks that was strange. The gal has the mind of a steel sieve.

Back in the rumpus room, Stefano contemplates a piece of paper.

Stephanie asks Nathan to excuse them for a minute. He leaves and Stephanie says everything will be OK, after she ruins Caroline's life. Then she goes over to Nathan. She says things are more complicated than she thought. A light switch, however is complicated for Stephanie. She leans forward, "Sami lost custody of Johnny and Sydney... that's what I wanted to say... I didn't have all the details earlier, but now there is no fixing the situation. My family is falling apart."

"They're lucky they have you to hold them together," says Nathan.

Kate returns and tells Stefano things went well, "So now I've done my penance."

"There is one more thing," says Stefano, "We are having a guest for dinner and I'd love it for you to deliver the invitation in person. It's Vivian."

Nicole and EJ watch Sydney and Johnny play. EJ thinks it will be a great Christmas since he'll have his kids. He invites Nicole to spend it with them. Nicole accepts. EJ wants her to understand the condition... "If you have anything to do with Brady, all bets are off. So... how much do you love Sydney?"

Sami, Rafe and Allie walk up behind them giggling. The laughter stops.

Daniel suggests they never open Kate’s present. Chloe agrees and shows him their christening gown. "It's too small for me," says Daniel. Daniel is sooooooo happy.

Nathan wants to know what he can do to help. "There is something you can do," says Stephanie, "Marry me."

"I can't," says Nathan, "I'm not a priest. Besides, who would be your husband."

Can't wiggle out of it that easily. Stephanie clarifies, "You." The blood drains from Nathan's face as he longs for the good old days when he had Dungcootie Fever.

Kate accuses Stefano of exacting revenge by 100 cuts. Stefano says it's all about loyalty and respect. "Shove your loyalty and respect and go to hell," says Kate, "I am done with this." She walks out.

Johnny throws a fit and screams for his mommy as he tries to wiggle away from EJ.

Later, once again, Sami sleeps. Sami dreams... She runs down at the dock... she finds a man standing with his back to her... she runs up to him... when he turns around she discovers Stan. "Oh, Stan," gasps Sami, "I love you more than anyone in the world."

"But Sami," he reminds her, "I am you."

Sami smiles, "Exactly."

Previews
========

Kate tells Stefano, "Because I am not going to change, not even for you."

Sami tells Rafe, "I will find a way to fix this."

Nicole asks EJ, "Why do you hate him so much?"

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The Vivian Debacle

2010-12-06T11:04:00.000-08:00

Bo is at the hospital talking on the phone plotting to get in touch with Hope. He suggests his flunky, Officer Butbuoy, see if he can't arrange to smuggle a cell phone to Hope.

"I have to remind you," says Butbuoy, "the fact Hope had a cell phone is the reason she's in solitary in the first place. If she gets caught with another one they might never let her out again."

"Then for God's sake make sure she gets caught with it," says Bo.

Brady comes up behind him and asks where Maggie's room is. Bo says they sent Maggie home. Bo asks what happened with Maggie. Brady says it's what he said in the bogus police report. He leaves. Bo leaves. The scene improves.

Bo finds Carly and says the doc told her she'll be out of the hospital tomorrow, "They're alerting the undertaker right now." Carly thinks he's distracted. Bo says not and stops peering down her blouse.

Hope asks about Pam. The Bitch-ho says she died on the operating table.

Jennifer brings Maggie home and tells her to take it easy. "I've got weeks of gossip to catch up on," says Maggie, "I can't take it easy." She thanks Jennifer and suggests she go shopping. When the going gets tough the tough go shopping. Jennifer leaves. Maggie snivels.

Gus and Vivian are at the pub. Gus doesn't see how Vivian can pull off her revenge. Vivian explains and asks if he has the guts to go through with it, "If you can't do it, I'll do it on my own."

Victor promises he won't let Vivian hurt Kate as Stefano listens. He saunters up and wonders if they are commiserating about their respective spouses. He taunts Kate who clams up. Stefano wonders what's going on.

Bo tells Carly about Hope being in solitary. Bo thinks this means someone died for no good reason, "Young people dying from broken legs... I suspect something." The man is about as sharp as a cue ball.

The warden tells Leigh she convinced Bo Hope might be a bit off her rocker, but Hope thinks Leigh may have homicidal tendencies. The warden says she’ll protect Leigh, though.

Hope's Bitch-ho' friend says Leigh told her about the death. She says the warden and Leigh are good friends. Hope begins to see what's going on, "The warden knows and she knows I'm onto her."

Maggie tries to convince herself things are OK, "You're back with the ones you love." Apparently she has Mickey upstairs in a rocker à la Mrs. Bates. Brady shows up to see if she's OK.

Kate insists nothing is going on. She says she and Victor were just discussing a family issue. Stefano figures that must be something wrong with Phillip. He offers to help. "How," asks Victor, "By putting another hit on him?" Stefano says if Kate is confiding in Victor she's keeping something from him AGAIN.

Hope swears she will never tell she's been talking to the Bitch-ho'. The Bitch-ho' starts to munch on Hope's fish sticks and Hope attacks her. Hope leaves her unconscious and runs out of her cell.

Brady don' wan' no stinkin' thanks from Maggie. He wonders if she left the hospital too early. Maggie says that's not the problem, "You are the problem, Brady."

Victor says Kate and he were talking about Phillip and Melanie moving into the mansion. Vivian watches as Stefano demands to know what's really going on. Vivian flashes back to making plans with Gus.

Dr. Ben tells Maxine time is running out. Jennifer overhears, and they assure her they're not talking about Carly. Ben says they're talking about a patient who needs a heart transplant. "I'd suggest you offer your heart," Jen tells Ben, "If you had one."

Ben leaves. Bo comes up and tells Jennifer he's calling in a few favors.

Leigh brings Big Bertha in to see the warden. Bertha has a chip on her shoulder. The warden tells her she's being transferred, and asks the name of her arresting officer. Berth says it was Hope. The warden claims she had no idea, and says they're transferring her because of overcrowding. Another guard brings Hope in. Bertha sees her and attacks, "I'LL KILL YOU... YOU BITCH!"

Victor reiterates he and Kate are talking about Phillip. Kate tries to calm Stefano down and reminds him he ordered her out of the house. Stefano says he's disappointed in Kate and walks off. Victor tells her Stefano is just guessing there is something else going on. Kate says, "Yes, but he can't find out about the Vivian debacle."

Jennifer is with Carly talking about the host of people they know and love in common. Both of them. Jen says she knows Bo and Hope breaking up wasn't Carly's fault. Bo walks in.

The guards drag Bertha off of hope and take her outside. The warden suggests taking Hope to the infirmary. Hope thinks that's a bad idea. The warden tells Hope her allegations about the infirmary are paranoid delusions. Hope says she wasn't trying to escape and wants to see her attorney. The warden don' think so, "I'm afraid you've lost all rights, officer Brady.

The warden decides to transfer Hope to a higher security prison. Well, if it's higher security, for sure that won't be the Salem PD lockup.

Stefano is back at the DiMera mansion. Vivian shows up and chirps like a bird as she prances around the place. She says she has answers for Stefano. The question Stefano wants answered is why she is there.

Maggie says Vivian told her about the sarcophagus caper. Brady reminds Maggie Vivian was going to sacrophagize her. Maggie still can't believe Brady would leave Vivian in there. Brady says if he had called the police they would have thought he was at fault. Imagine that, when he in fact was the one who stuck her in there. Maggie thinks Brady sounds like Victor.

The warden tells Hope she's being transferred to Northern, a prison five hours away. Hope says this isn't over, and she'll find out what's going on in the prison. The warden reminds Hope she tried to BoBeQue her husband and says she must be delusional.

"No," says Hope, "If you were married to him you'd probably want to immolate him, too."

Maggie wants Brady to see the error of his ways and says she could never approve of his ugliness. "OK," says Brady, "I'll shave if that's what you want." Maggie plays her trump card, "How would Isabella have looked at this?"

Brady says he's thought about that, "Maybe I am a bit like Victor and maybe that's not such a bad thing." He storms out.

Stefano says, "Vivian, just spit it out."

Vivian hits the spittoon on the first try. She tells him Brady locked her in the sarcophagus and Kate was involved, "That's what was going on at the pier. Kate found me in the coffin and then walked away without letting me out."

"Good call on her part," chuckles Stefano.

Vivian says Kate was in cahoots with Victor and that's the ultimate betrayal, "You've been made a damned fool of."

"Not as much of a damned fool as Victor," says Stefano, "After all... he married you."

The warden calls for an escort for Hope. Hope begs but the warden is cold-hearted, "We'll miss you here." A guard drags Hope out. Leigh walks up and tells the warden maybe they shouldn’t put Hope in a van with Bertha, "Bertha is out for blood." The warden says that's too bad, "But who cares as long as it's Hope's blood?"

Dr. Ben calls the warden. "Good to hear from you again," says Jamie the warden, "How can I help you?"

Vivian says she heard Kate is keeping a secret from Stefano, but confided in Victor, "I'll just run along." She passes Kate on the way out, "My work here is done." Kate stares.

Victor shows up at Maggie's, but Maggie gives him the bum's rush. He tells her he loves her. Maggie slams the door in his face.

Brady sits on the park bench and swills booze from a flask. He remembers Maggie's lecture. Vivian walks up and asks if he's trying to drown his sorrows. He orders her to leave, "Don't push me. You know what happens when you push me." Brady walks off.

Jennifer tries to reassure Bo. Bo ain' so sure Hope will be all right much longer.

Dr. Ben orders a heart for a transplant. "Would you like fries with that," asks the warden.

A guard tosses Hope back in her cell. Hope licks her wounds and wonders what they are going to do to her.

Stefano puffs on a cigar as Kate walks in. She says she is there to pick up some of her things and asks if Vivian told him about her part in Vivian's ordeal. Stefano says she did and he applauded Kate. He says he's still angry, though. Kate agrees she should have told him, "There is nothing between Victor and me. You are the only man I care about." Stefano softens and says the paternity tests show Chad is his son. Kate asks if he wants to talk about it. Stefano gives her the silent treatment. Kate leaves, "I'll give you some time to cool down."

"It will be a long time before I cool down," says Stefano. After Kate is gone, Stefano mumbles, "Because it's worse than you think — much worse."

Vivian is on the phone with Gus, who tells her he's in on the caper.

The warden is still on the phone with Dr. Walters. She tells Ben there are minor problems, but says they’re handling them. She hangs up and Leigh worries what if this all backfires, "What makes you sure Hope can't handle Bertha?"

"Hope will be handcuffed and Bertha won't," smirks the warden.

Jennifer asks Dr. Ben if he found a heart for the patient. He says there is a possibility of one coming in tomorrow and thanks her for her concern.

Bo thanks Carly for her support. Carly, like any good mistress is really worried about the well-being of Bo's wife, whatshername.

Hope paces, "Three women dead that I know of. They're desperate to get rid of me. What the hell is going on here?"

Previews
========

Brady tells Melanie, "Don't talk like that about Nicole, I have her back and she has mine."

EJ tells Nicole, "If you have any contact with Brady, all bets are off."

Kate bawls and asks Stefano, "Can't we move past this?"

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You Can Look, But You Can't Touch

2010-12-04T03:15:00.000-08:00

Shawn and Belle guide their wounded boat into Hong Kong Harbor. They barely make it as the engine gives its last gasp and conks out. "What are we going to do now," whines Belle.

"Ask Claire," says Shawn, "She's the only one on this boat with half a brain."

Just as the IQ-challenged pair begins to think their round-the-world trip is over... miracle of miracles, who should appear on the dock but their old buddy Lucas Horton. "What are you doing here," asks Shawn.

"I heard Sami shot EJ," says Lucas, "I figured now that we have something in common, she'd come back to me and I was watching for her here on the dock."

Shawn asks, "You mean you thought she'd just show up here unannounced and fall into your arms?"

"Something like that, " says Lucas.

Shawn chuckles, "I'm glad to see you're as sharp as you always were."

Lucas changes the subject, "Enough about me. You look like you're in trouble What's wrong?"

"The engine on our boat gave out," says Shawn.

"Are you sure there's gas in the tank," asks Lucas.

"There ought to be," says Shawn, "I filled it to the brim when we left Salem."

"You're very conscientious," says Lucas, "So if you've got gas, I guess you're sunk."

"No," says Shawn, "We're still floating. It's the engine that won't run. Looks like this is the end of our around-the-world adventure."

"Not necessarily," says Lucas, "I own a sampan. I'll trade you for it, and then I can use your boat after I have it repaired."

"I don' wan' no stinkin' sampan," says Shawn, "They don't call those things 'junks' for nothing, you know."

"This one is fine," says Lucas, "and the tsunami last week hardly damaged it at all."

Shawn agrees to take a look at Lucas' boat. The boys go off and leave Belle and Claire on the broken down vessel. It's not certain who is the babysitter, though. Shawn and Lucas approach the sampan. They tour the boat and as Shawn enters the galley he says, "I have to tell you, Lucas, I like what I see."

"Good," says Lucas, "What you see is Li Ju. She's the cook and she comes with the boat."

That seals the deal for Shawn. Lucas leaves and Shawn returns to his crippled craft to pick up Belle and their belongings. Claire, SORASED to 18, elects to stay in Hong Kong, "I heard the ratio of guys to gals here is almost two to one. I like those odds."

"Fine," says Shawn, "But with just two guys and one gal in the city, you may get lonely."

Belle and Shawn head back to their new sampan. As they approach Belle sees a gang of cutthroats raiding their new boat. She gasps, "OMG! SHAWN! PIRATES!"

"Can't be," says Shawn, "We're not even in the Caribbean."

"No," insists Belle, "LOOK! THERE! By the helm!"

"The what," asks Shawn.

"The steering wheel!"

"Why didn't you say so in the first place," asks Shawn. Suddenly he sees the ne'er-do-wells ransacking the boat. He runs down the dock, stops in front of the sampan, looks up at them and screams, "HEY!"

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"DON'T TOUCH MY JUNK!"

And so it begins...

Stephanie to Melanie, as Melanie cuddles with Nathan in the hospital's isolation unit: "Don't touch my hunk!"

Hope to her cellmate, "Don't touch my bunk!"

Sami Brady, wanting people to leave her alone and let her brood, "Don't touch my funk!"

Stefano, trying to protect Chad after finding out Chad is his son, "Don't touch my punk!"

Sami, trying to keep the gals away from Rafe, "Don't touch my lunk!"

Sister Anne, after leaving the church and running away with Father Matt, "Don't touch my monk!"

Chelsea, defending her relationship with Max, even though they're sort of related, "Don't touch my Unc!"

Vivian, after Victor kicks her to the curb and starts to carry her suitcase out of the house, "Don't touch my trunk!"

Max Brady, ready to change the oil in his new racecar, "Don't touch my gunk!"

Kate, attempting to stop someone from eating one of her poison brownies, "Don't touch my chunk!"

Maggie after hooking up with Victor, trying to keep Vivian away, "Don't touch my skunk!"

Nicole trying to keep EJ away from Brady, "Don't touch my drunk!"

No way. I'm not touching "spunk" with a ten foot pole.

Chris to everyone, "Peeeoooopppllleeee... what's all the fuss about?"

So, have a good weekend, kids, and remember what they tell you in the Salem China Shoppe, "You can look, but you can't touch."

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Like Father Like Son

2010-12-03T11:06:00.000-08:00

Victor comes into Maggie's room and sees Vivian there, "My God, woman, do you have a death wish?"

"Well," says Vivian, "I do kind of miss my sarcophagus."

"And we all miss you being in it," says Victor.

Maggie asks if Brady was involved in the sarcophagazation.

Melanie finds Phillip in the nurses' area. She apologizes for scaring him. One glance at Melanie is all it takes. Phillip flashes back to seeing her and Nathan cuddling, "All we have to do is go home now and forget it happened."

Nathan comes out and finds Steponme. They whirl and kiss.

Daniel arrives home and hears crying. Chloe says she can't stop the baby crying and thinks something is wrong. Sharp gal, that Clhoe.

Kate insists she was protecting Stefano. He kicks her to the curb, "For all the days of our lives."

"Suit yourself," says Kate as she leaves. She opens the door to find Chad who says he's there about the test results. Stefano invites him in as he gives an ominous "Goodbye" to Kate.

Phillip and Melanie are in bed. Two hearts... three legs. Phillip vows to wait on her hand and foot. The only foot he's got...

Stephanie begs Nathan to tell her she'll never lose her.

Stefano offers Chad refreshments, but Chad ain' interested. He wonders what's wrong with Kate. "You mean besides the STD's," asks Stefano.

The guy arrives with the test results. Stefano asks if he's the father. "The results are positive," says the guy, "You are father and son." Oh boy, Chaddie and Daddy.

Victor doesn't want to talk about Brady's involvement in front of Vivian. Maggie just wants to know that Brady and Phillip didn't know about it. Victor comes clean, "We thought it was the only way to keep you safe."

"Just go," says Maggie, "I never want to see you again."

Melanie says she wants to go back to the hospital to see Maggie. Phillip is reluctant to tell her the real reason Maggie is hospitalized, but agrees to take her.

Stephanie broods and beats herself up. Nathan flashes back to telling Melanie he loves her. Stephanie senses something is wrong. Nathan sighs, "Something happened in quarantine I should tell you about."

Daniel has settled Parker down. Settling Chloe down is a different story. She bashes her mothering skills and wonders if she's cut out to be a mother.

"You're a mother all right," says Daniel, "The question is a mother what."

Stefano pays the hospital rep for his kindness and his discretion.

Chad wonders what they do now. Stefano says he knows just the thing. He educates him on how important it is to use protection, especially with a cheap ho.

Maxine comes up and tells Nathan Mrs. Lang needs to see him, "She decided it's time for hospice care." Nathan excuses himself. There is not excuse for Stephanie.

Maggie tosses things as Melanie and Phillip walk in. Maggie claims she was just being clumsy. Melanie wonders what happened to her. Maggie asks her to ask Maxine for something for pain. Figures – Melanie walks into the room and you've got a real pain on your hands.

Melanie leaves and Maggie tells Phillip she knows what he did to Vivian.

Victor and Vivian are at the pier. Vivian wonders where things went wrong. "You were involved," grunts Victor. Vivian says she thinks they could still be a couple. "A couple of what," asks Victor. Victor gets nasty and backs her around the docks in a rage.

SPLASH!

Stefano says he heard Charles refused to pay for Chad's education, so Stefano writes a big check. Chad thinks Stefano is trying to buy him off. "You are my son," says Stefano, "Parents never look away. Never."

Well, Vivian is dry, but Victor thinks she's all wet. They bicker at each other. Vivian vows revenge and walks off. Victor makes a call, "Meet me at the pier... now."

Nathan finds Mrs. Lang. She's upbeat. Mrs. Lang wants Nathan to remember her at her best. She talks about her late husband, and then asks if Nathan has found his soul-mate. Nathan immediately flashes to Melanie, "Yes, I have."

Phillip makes excuses for what they did with Vivian. Maggie decides it's pointless to argue morality with a Kiriakis, "You will tell Melanie the truth."

Melanie comes in, "The truth about what."

Daniel tells Chloe she has every right to be stressed out, "Uh is something burning?"

Chloe sees smoke pouring form the stove, "OMG!"

Stefano says the check isn’t to keep Chad quiet. It's for his education, "If you want to stay in Salem, go upstairs and pick an empty bedroom." Stefano says he now has to tell Lexie and EJ about their new sibling, "I regret your mother kept it a secret, but now – no secrets." He also offers to put him to work in DiMera enterprises. He gives Chad a card to go have a good suit made, "When is a good time for you to move in?"

Chad tears up the card, "Does 'never' work for you?"

Melanie is back alone with Phillip and asks what he did. Phillip weaves a tale about Vivian, "The reason Maggie stopped taking her meds... is Vivian put her in a coffin."

"Excuse me, I have to go kill Vivian," says Melanie.

Phillip gives her the rest of the story, "Vivian intended to put Maggie in there, and then Brady found out and put Vivian in there instead." Melanie wonders why Maggie was upset at Phillip. "The truth is I knew what Brady was up to, and I didn't do anything to get her out."

Mrs. Lang says she didn't marry her soul-mate, but she and her husband were happy together, "Soul-mate isn’t' all it's cracked up to be." Especially if your soul mate is Melanie.

That's not a nuclear blast you saw in Salem. It's the lasagne Chloe was preparing for dinner. Nuclear blasts are way better than Chloe's cooking. Chloe says she was just trying to welcome Daniel home. "Then you don't have to cook a damn thing," says Dr. Gropo as he eyes the Chloe buffet.

Stefano thinks Chad is overreacting. Chad says this is exactly what Will said would happen. He reminds Stefano his son EJ is keeping Will's mom from her kids. Stefano wonders what Chad’s motives are. Chad says he did it because he's sick of lies.

Kate meets Victor at the pier. Kate worries about what Vivian will do to them, and says Phillip isn't taking it seriously because he thought Melanie was dying. Victor is worried, too, "This time Vivian won't fail."

Phillip insists he was going to let Vivian out until Brady explained what would happen. He tells Melanie about everyone who knows. Melanie softens and forgives him. Hug-a-paloosa.

Chad says he didn't even know when he got Mia pregnant, "Like father like son, eh?" He says he never got to know Grace, and neither did Stefano. Stefano suggests this could be a fresh start for them. Chad rants about his childhood and the missed opportunity with Grace. And, of course, about his mom the town pump. Stefano suggests grieving for Grace together. He says he can hand Chad the world on a platter.

Chad says he knows all about Stefano, "Everything comes with a price tag. I don't want to be a DiMera. All you do is take. I won't let you take me."

"What if I tell you that you don't have a choice," asks Stefano.

Nathan can't believe how strong Maggie is. Especially her jaw muscles, which can keep her talking forever. Nathan has changed his tune and wants to spend his life with Stephanie. And they say life can't possibly be meaningless.

Vivian is with gus in the pub. She tells him she's moved on from Maggie Horton and instead has a plan to get even with Victor.

Victor thinks Vivian may be more subtle about her revenge this time and suggests a 24-hour guard on Kate. Kate implies something is wrong. Trouble in paradise, as it were. Victor asks if she and Stefano had a spat.

Stefano tells Chad he's a DiMera whether Chad likes it or not. Chad turns and walks out. Stefano shakes his head.

Nathan and Melanie munch around on each other. He tells her Maggie has been admitted with a relapse of her MG. More munching and Nathan leaves. Stephanie decides if Nathan can survive Dungcootie Fever he can survive the news about Chloe.

Gus thinks Vivian's plan is magnificent, but doesn't know if she can pull it off.

Kate doesn't want to talk about Stefano. Victor vows not to let anything happent to his family, "And that includes you." Stefano watches.

There were no previews today. I mean, come on... we have to get every last commercial in, don't we?

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From A Restraining Order To Full Custody

2010-12-02T11:04:00.000-08:00

The Brady Bunch consisting of Roman, Caroline, Sami and Will, are at the pub. Sami drops the bomb, "I saw EJ last night and he's never gonna let me see my kids again."

"Unfortunately," says Will, "I'm guessing that means Allie and Johnny and not all of your kids."

"Of course," says Sami.

"Those lucky dogs," says Will.

Rafe and his scuba buddy are at the pier. George has recommended his buddy to look for the gun.

EJ and Lexie are in the garden and EJ tells her he has full custody. "From a restraining order to full custody," says Lexie, "How did you do that?"

Stefano blocks Kate from leaving. He wants to finish their conversation. He also wants to go off his rocker. Kate insists she didn't know for sure when she called Sami. Stefano won't have any of it. The argument escalates. Stefano accuses her of doing things that could have killed EJ. Kate asks what he is going to do to her.

"Remember those whips and chains we used to play with," asks Stefano, "Well, we aren't playing any more."

EJ wants his kids all to himself so badly he hands them off to Mary. Lexie wants an explanation. "Let's just say I turned the situation to my advantage."

Caroline urges Sami to go to court. Hey she'll already be there when they try her for attempted murder.

Kate says she loathes Sami but she knew the kids would disappear and Johnny and Sydney are Will's brother and sister. She did it for Will. She has strong feelings for Will. I guess that makes her a strong-willed woman.

Rafe tells Scuba-boy what he's looking for in the river. Besides a needle in a haystack. "It's a pistol. I realize the thing may have disintegrated in that polluted mess, but give it a try."

Lexie reminds EJ not too long ago he wanted to marry Sami. It seems EJ has changed his mind, the part of it that's not splattered all over the bedroom wall, anyway.. Lexie wonders if the fact that Sami or Will may have shot him has something to do with this. EJ sidesteps the issue and says he's not sharing his kids with Samantha.

Roman wonders if EJ will compromise. Sami says no, "He holds all the cards."

"Well, you've got me," says Roman. Right. EJ has the cards, but Sami has the joker.

Maxine is with Maggie who says she is exhausted. Maxine leaves and Vivian sneaks in, "Hello, dear."

Vivian wants to finish their little talk. Two more words and it won't be little any more. Maggie, for the first time ever isn't in a talking mood. Vivian says now she's setting her sights on Victor, not Maggie, "I plan to destroy him."

EJ tells Lexie Sami won't be the kids' mother for long.

Roman goes macho. He says he'll arrest EJ if he drops a gum wrapper on the sidewalk. Sami thinks he should back off. Will makes the first adult suggestion, but Sami interrupts, "We have to play this EJ's way."

Kate says EJ is Stefano's blood and she is the woman Stefano blackmailed into marrying him. She thinks EJ has accomplished what he wanted with the kids there. Stefano says this has to do with him and her, not Elvis, "You took Samantha's side against me." Kate says she had her kids taken by a lunatic husband and she wouldn't wish that on anyone. I wouldn't wish her kids on anyone, either.

Sami says they have to play it cool. "This sucks," says Will as he leaves. Roman reminds Sami when she goes rogue things get out of hand. She says she's not alone, "Two heads are better than one." If Sami and Rafe can find two heads, they're in business.

Scuba-boy tells Rafe he couldn't find anything in the river, including the bottom, "Somebody else found the gun."

EJ says Sami had it won when she had the restraining order, "She wanted more. She nearly got it."

"Are you saying Sami shot you," asks Lexie.

EJ tells her yes but says he survived and now has his children back, "She deserves what she gets."

Johnny and Theo run up. Johnny wants to know if they have time for hot chocolate before mommy picks them up. Oops.

Kate says her sympathy isn't for Sami, it's for her kids, "Something snapped." Something is going to snap all right and it's Stefano. Kate wonders if they can put all this behind them.

Stefano says that depends on whatever else she is keeping form him. He gets a call, "I see... please have him come to my house." He hangs up and says that was the hospital, "The paternity test results are in. We have to get the results before Caroline switches them."

EJ 'splains that Sami isn't coming. He bribes Johnny with the promise of pizza. Johnny and Theo run off. Lexie wants to know, "What will you do tomorrow night, hire a clown?"

"No," says EJ, "Bo is already employed." He asks her not to judge him. Lexie judges, then goes in to say goodbye to Theo. Rafe calls EJ.

Rafe is in with Sami telling her the diver didn't find the gun. EJ calls Sami. He says he's calling her to say not to waste any more money looking for the gun, "That gun is in a place you will never get to it."

Sami hangs up, "The gun must be in church."

Stefano says someone from the hospital is coming with the results and Chad is coming, too. He wonders how Kate feels about this. She says it's all right with her, "I know you weren't a monk before I married you."

"I certainly didn't get around as much as you did," says Stefano. He thinks she's taking it very well. He also thinks she pushed Chad at him for a reason.

"Chad is Will's friend," says Kate, "That's all there is to it." Chris calls her. She asks to do the meeting as a conference call and asks him to set it up.

Stefano flashes back to Chad telling him about the birth certificate. Kate comes back and says they canceled the meeting. "You're very busy," says Stefano, "You're keeping something else from me, aren't you."

"You're not getting any tonight, if that's what you mean," says Kate.

Maggie orders Vivian out. Vivian doesn't leave and Maggie flings a vase of flowers at her. She threatens to go to the police. Vivian says Brady is the one who put her in the sarcophagus.

Mary brings Sydney to EJ to say goodbye before she goes to her play group. Coincidentally, Sydney is going to her play group, too. Roman walks up as Mary and Sydney leave, "Does Lexie know what you're up to? We're not gonna let that happen."

Rafe and Sami are outside the pub. Rafe asks about Will. Sami says he's calm on the outside but wants to explode on the inside. "EJ is a monster." Lexie walks up and wants to know whom is calling whom a monster.

Will and Chad are together talking about the prospect that Stefano is Chad's father.

Stefano asks Kate if she ever thinks about the past enough to cobble together a story. He says he just did that and it ended up about Kate, "You've known about Chad for quite a while now." Kate denies she speculates Charles sent the birth certificate to Chad and now refuses to have anything to do with him. "Nice try," says Stefano. He reminds Kate of when she got into Madeline's safe deposit box, "You had the first look at the things in there. You found out and you kept it from me. Why?"

EJ says Roman needs to think about what he is doing for Samantha, "I'm allowing her to live in freedom." Roman asks if EJ wants to be the kind of father that keeps his kids away from Will and Allie.

Sami begs Lexie to tell her if the kids are OK. Rafe drags the ranting maniac back inside. "This is not going to turn out the way you want, EJ," says Lexie.

Will says if Stefano finds out there is a drop of DiMera blood in Chad, Stefano will want to own him.

Kate tells Stefano he's right, "I found the birth certificate in the safe deposit box. I took it to Madeline. She begged me not to tell. I honored her wish. Her husband is the DA and she was a powerful judge and I decided to honor her wishes. It bothered me after she died because Charles turned on Chad. I decided to send the certificate to Chad so he would have the choice if he was going to be a DiMera. And he came to you."

"YOU BETRAYED ME!"

Maggie insists Brady wouldn't do that. Vivian insists he did, "His drinking is out of control. If you go to the police I'll sing like a canary and Bo will put Brady in prison. Nicole and Kate and Phillip were involved, too." Maggie thinks Vivian is lying. Vivian says the truth will come out in the end. That's not the only thing that comes out the end on this show.

Sami insists they have to find a way to make things right.

Roman wonders why Sami shouldn't keep the kids from EJ, "You kidnapped Sydney. And I'll find Anna." EJ says if Roman brings the law down on him, he'll bring the law down on Samantha, and EJ thinks he has a better case for doing that.

Stefano kicks Kate to the curb. Totopermanently, "Get out of my house, for all the Days Of Our Lives."

Previews
========

Maggie snorts, "I know what you did to Vivian, Phillip!"

Vivian tells Victor, "I'm going to get my revenge on the whole bunch of you!"

Stefano asks, "Am I this young man's biological father or not?"

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Once A Hooker Always A Hooker

2010-12-01T11:09:00.000-08:00

Stefano walks into the DiMera mansion and calls for Kate. Seeing as how she's not there, he figures she may be staking out marketing opportunities on her new street corner. EJ, however, is there and he tells Stefano the kids are back with him. Well, of course Stefano is thrilled, "But do I have to change diapers?"

"Depends," says EJ.

"I wasn't talking about my diapers," snorts Stefano.

EJ says he isn't sure how long Stefano's happiness will last.

Brady and Nicole cuddle in bed. Nicole says, "I know the kind of day you've had. Let me help you forget it for just a little while."

"You mean you're going to pour me a drink," asks Brady.

a Bitch-ho delivers Hope's lunch and wonders how she got thrown in solitary. Hope says she was trying to help someone. "No good deed goes unpunished," says the Bitch-ho. Hope gives her the dessert and asks for a favor. She asks what happened to Pam. Bitch-ho says Pam is still there, not at Salem Hospital, "She's just about to go into surgery here."

"She's gonna die," says Hope.

"So what's the difference if she went to Salem Hospital," asks the Bitch-ho.

The warden meets Bo at the pub and says she needs to give him a heads-up. She tells Bo Hope is in solitary. "Just so long as she's not alone," says Bo.

Jennifer is at the hospital trying to call Bo about Carly.

Phillip finds Kate and tells her about Carly injecting herself, "Now she's really sick."

Daniel mops Nathan's fevered brow as Nathan rambles. Melanie calls out for Carly who has stopped breathing. Dr. Daniel goes into action. He gives her CPR as Melanie wails.

Kate tells Phillip Vivian got off because of Brady.

A loudspeaker blasts...

CODE BLUE IN THE PATCH AND BILLIE MEMORIAL QUARANTINE ROOM!

Jen and Phillip rush up to the window and watch as Daniel pulls out his jackhammer and tries to revive Carly.

The warden says Hope stole a cell phone so she had to put her in solitary, "Her psychiatrist and I agree we should limit Hope's contact with her family. This was a courtesy. I didn't have to tell you this."

"I would have found out anyway," says Bo.

Hope backtracks and says she shouldn’t have said anything about Pam. She asks to talk to the warden.

Brady and Nicole bask in the afterglow. He says he forgot his troubles for a little while. "I haven't felt this good in so long," says Nicole.

"Let me guess," says Brady, "That was when you were on top of the world with Sydney and EJ."

"No," says Nicole , "It's when I was on top of EJ." She says she now knows if EJ wants this to work with Sydney, he needs her.

EJ says he can prove Samantha shot him. He says how he found the proof is what Stefano won't like, "Nicole gave it to me."

"Nicole?"

"No. Nicole." He says he had to come to an arrangement with Nicole to get the evidence, "She's not out of my life any more."

Huffin', puffin', wailin' and bawlin' in the isolation room. Carly comes back, hears all the commotion and heads for the light again.

The warden says they're just doing what's best for Hope, and she doesn't know when Bo can see her again. Bo asks for the shrink's number. The warden is reluctant to give him that information. Jennifer's call interrupts. She tells him Carly has Dungcootie Fever.

Melanie tells Carly she is mad at her for injectifying herself. OMG, the love-fest that follows is at a fever pitch. Pun intended.

Jennifer bumps into Dr. Ben as she heads in to update Chloe. Ben says his surgery went well, "I was the surgeon, what did you expect?"

"You need to work on your self esteem," says Jennifer.

EJ says he wants the kids to be happy. Stefano suggests buying them a pony. He wonders how EJ can let Nicole near Sydney, "She will become attached to Nicole and Nicole will have the upper hand. Sometimes I think you have a death wish."

"I think you live in a glass house," says EJ, "Throwing stones could be risky for you since you're married to a lying, traitorous bitch."

"Thanks," says Stefano, "It's not often I hear such great compliments about Kate out of the blue."

Bo is at the hospital and Jennifer is comforting him. She gives him the note Carly left and leaves. Bo opens and reads, "I'm sorry I had to decide this without talking to you. If Ciara were sick you would have done the same thing. The last few months with you made all the pain and sorrow worth it, even though I caused most of the pain and sorrow myself. I love you. I always will."

The warden comes in to see Hope. "I can't allow another innocent person to die," says Hope.

Melanie begs Daniel to give Nathan the anti-virus.

Carly sees Bo at the window, "Get out of here." But she'll always love him.

Kate phones Sami and leaves a message. She tells her she tired to neutralize EJ but it didn't work, "You're screwed."
EJ tells Stefano Kate sold him a bill of goods and has been scheming to get out of the house since she married him. He says Sami had no reason to shoot him unless she knew he was going to take the children, "She knew because your Katherine told her. Who's the idiot now?"

"There are too many candidates to choose," says Stefano.

Nicole worries that Brady isn't happy. He gives her all the reasons he's not, "A woman I loved died, my niece was handed over to Elvis the sociopath, I ran out of booze."

Stefano can't believe Kate told Sami. "Once a hooker always a hooker," says EJ, "She certainly knows how to fake it."

Stefano thinks EJ enjoys mocking him about this, even after he chose him above everyone else. EJ says there need to be consequences for Kate. Stefano says that's his decision.

Ben finds Phillip and says the antiviral appears to be working, "It looks like Carly will make it and we can use the drug on Melanie, "I can't make any promises, but she might survive." Unfortunately.

Melanie crawls in bed with Nathan and tells him they'll be OK. Phillip watches from outside. Oops.

Hope says she thinks the infirmary deaths weren't accidents. She asks the warden to transfer Pam to Salem Hospital.

Ben reports more improvements. He thinks they're in the home stretch. "Thank God," says gasps Jennifer.

"You're welcome," says Dr. Egomaniac. Then he hesitates, "Oh, you weren't talking to me."

Jennifer freaks at his arrogance and Bo tries to calm her down. They see Ben giving Phillip and Kate the good news. Bo decides Phillip really does love Melanie.

Phillip flashes back to seeing Nathan and Melanie all pretzelized together.

Brady says he knows how Nicole is, and doesn't want to judge her, "I can't pretend you wanting Sydney is a good idea."

EJ and Stefano decide to deal with their respective women as each sees fit. EJ wants to see Samantha pay, "Prison is too easy. She has to see me and Nicole bond with her children."

Melanie tends to Nathan. Daniel says he's glad to see things clearing up. Nathan says the drug almost had an instant effect, and he feels much better. Daniel asks what it was Nathan wanted to say about Clhoe. Nathan says he was delirious when he said that.

Bo tells Jennifer about Hope being in solitary. He thinks the warden is trying to silence Hope, "I wish her luck. God knows, all those years and I haven't been able to shut her up."

The warden thanks Hope and says there will be an inquiry, "I want to get you out of solitary and back to your job in the infirmary."

Brady and Nicole are at the pier. Brady gets a call and reports Melanie will be all right. Nicole says it's good to see him smile and sends him off. EJ shows up, "I saw you with Brady. We have to set up some ground rules."

Daniel gets off the phone and says none of them can leave isolation until morning.

"SLEEPOVER," yells Melanie.

Daniel thanks Carly for saving Melanie's life. Melanie tells Nathan she didn't like watching him almost die, "So don't ever do it again." Nathan feels the same way. She tells Nathan she won't forget what happened there.

"Me neither," says Nathan, "Where do we go from here?"

A new doc walks up and tells Ben that Dr. Carver wants to see him. He leaves. Bo says he overheard Phillip talking about being a dad and wonders if he's sure. He'd better be, he's already popped a couple of them.

Jen has tried to call back the phone Hope called her on, but can't get an answer. She says she wishes Alice were there, "She could think out of the box."

"I'd settle for just being able to think at all," says Bo.

The warden rushes in and tells Leigh Hope knows too much, "We have to get rid of her."

Kate walks into the rumpus room. Stefano plays it cool, but boils inside. "You know," asks Kate.

"Yes," says Stefano, "I know."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"Well," says Stefano, "You'll just have to wait and see."

EJ says he has to consider Sydney, so Nicole will have to make a choice, "You can either have Brady or Sydney... not both." he walks off. Nicole scowls.

Previews
========

Vivian tells Maggie, "We haven't finished our little talk."

Stefano waves his fist at Kate, "You betrayed me!" Kate shakes her head and bawls.

Sami sits at a table in the pub and says, "This fight is far from over."

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Somewhere Between Scared To Death And Halfway Crazy

2010-11-30T11:08:00.000-08:00

Carly is in the Patch-n-Billie-ation ward with Melanie, Nathan and the Grim Reaper. She fills the hypo with the deadly Dungcootie Fever virus and...

JAM-PLUNGE!

She injects it into her arm. Dr. Daniel Jekyll stands outside watching the scene. Suddenly a switch flips and he turns into Mr. Dan Hyde. Deranged Mr. Hyde busts a gizzard. A guard comes up and tries to calm him down. Dan wheels around and lets him have it.

SMACK!

What happened to, "First, do no harm?"

Stephanie tells Phillip she's talking about him being Parker's father.

Rafe tries to convince EJ to let the kids come home for the holidays. EJ refuses. Braveheart begs Coldheart who says if Sami has any contact with the kids she goes to prison.

Nicole plays with Allie in the garden and serves fake tea. Sami watches and starts to come up to them but Nicole stops her. Sami insists Nicole give her Sydney.

Daniel takes the guard's keys and has him scram. He goes inside and asks Carly why she did that. Melanie and Nathan whine about her being in there, but it's too late, Carly is Dungcootie Fever-ized Daniel refuses to give her the drug. Carly begs, "If I don't get that drug, you know what the outcome is going to be."

Daniel says, "I realize it's life-or-death, but if your insurance doesn't cover it, you're toast."

Phillip says, "I know what you're talking about. I get it now."

"You'll get it when Daniel finds out," says Stephanie.

Rafe asks EJ to cut Will and Allie a little slack. EJ's not in a slack-cutting mood.

Nicole urges Sami to get away. Sami urges Nicole to take a flying leap.

Phillip thinks Stephanie heard Daniel tell him to look after Parker if something happens to Daniel. Stephanie says she gets it but Phillip still needs to hear the truth. Chloe stands behind them. "The truth about what," asks Clhoe.

Carly tells Daniel since he has a new baby she had to infect herself instead. She urges him to get out of the infected room. Daniel says the anti-virus could overwhelm her system since it was geared to his weight. "Well, I've gained a few pounds lately," says Carly. Melanie chimes in and asks Carly not to do this.

EJ says, "These are my final words on this." Don't we wish? "There will be absolutely no contact. Are we clear?" Rafe pulls out a family picture to prove all the kids are a family. EJ rips it apart, "Not any more."

Sami and Nicole fight over Sydney. King Solomon walks up and draws his sword, "I have a solution." Nicole tells Sami she's trespassing, "I'm here because EJ wants me here. It's bigger than me giving him the camera. It's about Sydney. She and I have a deep connection. You're jealous and insecure because she's never loved you the way she loves me."

Carly assures Melanie they will get through this. She begs Daniel for the drug. Daniel plans to stay in the room and get infected. "We don't have time," says Carly. She faints. Even though she's got one foot in the grave, Daniel refuses to give her the drug. Melanie goes to Freak-out-land. She tells Daniel if Carly gets really sick he has to give her the drug.

Rafe tells EJ he doesn't give a damn about his kids. EJ begs to differ. Rafe begs to differ with EJ's begging to differ. EJ begs... you get the idea. He claims in time the kids will drift apart and even forget their mother, "It will be like she didn't exist at all."

Sami denies Sydney could still love Nicole. Nicole disagrees and claims she's protecting Sydney, "For your information I just wanted to spend time with Sydney. I don't want sole possession."

"I am already aware you don't posses a sole," says Sami.

Machines beep. Daniel tells Nathan to hang in there. All those years of med-school and that's what he comes up with. Melanie tells Carly to be strong. Carly tells Melanie she loves her, "I know I've made some terrible mistakes... you were the biggest one of them." She tells Daniel if he doesn't inject her she won't last.

Daniel prepares the hypo.

Phillip 'splains. He says Stephanie means he will never be a good dad. Clhoe thinks he'll be a great dad. Parker and Pocket will cast the deciding votes.

Rafe says someday Johnny will run into Allie and they will wonder what happened to their mom. EJ says by then he will have brainwashed the kids into thinking their mother was a manipulative liar who tried to murder their father.

"You SOB," says Rafe.

"That's something I have in common with my kids," says EJ, "Well, I guess one of them is a Daughter of a..."

Sami says she just wants to hold Sydney for a few minutes. Nicole grabs Sami and yells for EJ.

Dr. Ben takes Chloe aside and tells her what Daniel has done, and also about Carly injecting herself. They figure both Carly and Daniel are now infected. "We have 3 doctors and a nurse in there. They all could die." At least the world of medicine will be better off.

There's a whole lotta coughin' goin' on in the isolation ward. Daniel tells Nathan to breathe. "If I could I wouldn't be coughing," says Nathan.

Dr. Ben says he talked to Daniel in isolation and will keep Chloe informed. Justin and Adrienne walk up. Justin goes off to call Bo and tell him about Carly. Clhoe falls apart and Phillip is there to comfort her.

Adrienne asks how Stephanie is doing. Stephanie is a mess, as usual. Somehow she'll work it around to this all being her fault.

Nicole continues to yell. EJ walks up, "Samantha, off all people."

Daniel puts an ice-pack on Nathan's forehead. Nathan calls for his mother, then for Melanie. Daniel says he understands. "No one understands," says Nathan, "I love her." The fever has gone to his brain.

Stephanie says, "When we talked before I was a mean, whiny bitch. I'm still a mean, whiny bitch, but I've calmed down." Adrienne and Stephanie kiss and make up, then look at Phillip and Clhoe across the room doing consolation by cuddle. Stephanie tells Adrienne Parker isn't going to lose his dad.

EJ rants. He asks Nicole to grab Sydney and take her inside. Nicole scoops her up. On the way out, she reaches out and rips Sami's heart out. EJ says if they pull this kind of stuff again the deal is over. He says each year on their birthdays he's going to sit the kids down and show them the video of Sami's confession.

"You'll have to pay us royalties," says Rafe.

Daniel asks Carly how the pain is going. Carly says the pain is doing just fine. Nathan goes into full-blown delirium. Melanie tells Carly she and Daniel did a great thing, "You're really a team."

"So were the 1962 Mets," says Carly.

Nathan runs off the rails, "I should have told you the truth."

"The truth about what," asks Daniel.

Stephanie tells Adrienne Phillip is Parker's father.

Justin returns and tells Chloe and Phillip he couldn't reach Bo. Chloe walks off. Justin asks how Phillip is. "Somewhere between scared to death and halfway crazy," says Phillip, "Melanie has to get through this."

Stephanie tells Adrienne about Chloe and Phillip's romp, and the switcheroo, "Daniel Chloe and Phillip still think the baby is Daniel's, but mom knows the truth." Adrienne thinks Melanie will run to Nathan. "Now they could all die," says Stephanie, "At least that would solve everything."

Nicole tells Sydney there will always be a bond between them. Translation, the bond is doomed. EJ walks in and says Nicole did the right thing calling him. "Did I pass the test," asks Nicole.

Rafe chases Sami down at the pier. He catches her and says he gets why she was at the DiMera mansion, but advises her not to do it again. He says he was there trying to get through to EJ. "You went there and I ruined that, too," says Sami.

"Yep," says Rafe, "Your record of being a complete train wreck is safe."

EJ says the jury is still out on Nicole and Sydney. Nicole asks to tuck Sydney in. EJ OK’s it and sends her upstairs with the baby. Nicole leaves. EJ buries his face in his hands.

Rafe tells Sami she didn't ruin anything. He says they can't give up. Sami says she just couldn't stand being away from her kids, "I can't live with out Johnny and Sydney, and I won't." Hugs.

Phillip tells Clhoe there is no news. Justin tells them to hang in there. Hey, he came up with that and he doesn't even have a medical degree. Phillip says if things go south with Daniel he'll look after her and Parker and help Parker get a good home with a stranger like he did Pocket.

Stephanie wonders what to do if Nathan recovers. Adrienne says, "That is something only you can answer."

Nathan rambles. He fades out and Daniel calls for him. Melanie assures Carly they'll all get better, "I can't lose you. I love you."

"I love you," says Carly. She stops breathing.

Melanie yells, "MOM! MOM!"

"MMMOOOOMMMMMMYYYYY!!!"

Previews
========

EJ tells Stefano, "You're married to a lying, traitorous bitch."

Kate is on the phone, "In short, You're screwed!"

Daniel uses CPR on Carly as the peanut gallery watches.

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A Monster Lurks

2010-11-29T14:11:00.000-08:00

We open up in the Patch And Billie Memorial Isolation Ward. Nathan wakes up and tells Melanie she looks good, for being on death's door, that is.

Carly finds Daniel working in the lab. He says he has found the virus strain, but it's not normal. No big deal... in Salem nothing is normal. Anyway, it's a mutation. He holds up a vial and says it's the antiviral, "But we don't have time to test the drug."

Nicole and Brady are in the Kiriakis den. Nicole figures Vivian is free despite what she has done. Brady says he has to go to the hospital since Melanie isn't doing well. Nicole tells him to go and also says they will figure a way to deal with Vivian. Then she stops him, "There is something I have to tell you and you should hear it from me."

Kate comes into the rumpus room and finds EJ and the kids. EJ says he doesn't know whether to thank her or destroy her.

Sami serves a lunch she has prepared. Water and ketchup. Allie asks when Johnny and Sydney will be coming home. "Not yet," says Sami.

"Not yet," repeats Will, "What does that mean?"

What part of 'not yet' confuses you," asks Sami.

Rafe suggests getting Allie to school. He takes her into the other room to get ready. Sami tells Will she had to turn Johnny and Sydney over to EJ.

"EJ got hold of Arianna's camera, didn't he," asks Will.

"No," says Sami, "I just couldn't find another babysitter on short notice."

Brady wonders how EJ got his kids back since he's a proven kidnapper. Well, Sami's attempted murder trumps kidnapping. Nicole says she doesn't want to lie about it, "Apparently Arianna had a recording of Sami confessing she shot EJ. It was with the things she left." Brady says that couldn't be unless it was the camera Rafe asked about. Nicole tells him she found it but didn't want to drop that piece of bad news on him.

"You gave it to EJ," snorts Brady, "That's why he has his kids back."

EJ says he has proof that Sami shot him. Kate fake-gasps. EJ says he confronted her and Sami admitted she came over because Kate called her. Kate denies. EJ goes into a rage. He jams a finger into Kate’s face, "Don't lie to me!" Translation: "Don't talk to me." "You are as responsible as she is," says EJ. Kate thinks the one one responsible for what happened is EJ.

"How are we doing," asks Melanie, "I'd like your opinion as a doctor."

"Let's put it this way," says Nathan, "What you really need is my opinion as a mortician."

Nathan tries to be upbeat and reminds Melanie of all the good things she does. After that two second exchange he tells her to concentrate on the positive things.

Phillip asks Chloe about word on Maggie. Clhoe says she's doing better. She says when she talked to Daniel she thought there was something he didn't want to tell her.

Carly says, "We need a guinea pig to test this on." Dr. Guinea Pig hauls out the oldest trick in the 'Doctor Book' and decides to test the anti-virus on himself.

Brady wants to know what EJ promised Nicole. Nicole says he wasn't specific. Brady reminds her EJ lies all the time and says she's a fool if she believes him. No doubt that means she believes him.

Kate says she has no regrets about doing anything and had no idea Sami was coming over that night. She admits to calling Sami, however. She says she sees EJ the same way Samantha sees him, "Beneath that charming little smile a monster lurks. Think about what happens to people who try to hurt me." She offers him a brownie and then walks off. Sami calls EJ. He tells her they have nothing to say to each other. Sami begs to differ.

Carly begs Daniel not to test the drug on himself. Daniel goes off to talk to people before he does the deed, and thanks Carly for backing him up on it. He leaves and Carly eyes the drug. She goes to the computer and scratches out her last will and testament.

Daniel finds Chloe, Stephanie and Phillip together. He tells them things for Melanie and Nathan might be looking up, "There's a two-for-one sale at the Salem Mortuary." Phillip and Stephanie leave. Daniel looks at Parker. Chloe wonders why he's looking at him like he will never see him again.

"If Phillip gets his hands on them, he gives them all away," says Daniel.

Sami begs EJ to reconsider, for the kids... for the holidays... for the sake of dragging this out into oblivion. EJ refuses and hangs up. Rafe comes back and he and Sami have a hug-a-thon.

Nicole shows up at the DiMera mansion and wants to know if EJ is going to follow through with his promise to let her see Sydney.

Brady wonders if he can see Melanie. Phillip and Stephanie say he needs a pass, "No one can hug or touch her except Nathan, though."

Chloe begs Daniel not to try the anti-virus on himself. Daniel says, "Melanie and Nathan might die. I have to help them."

"My love knows no limits," says Daniel.

"Your intelligence level certainly does," says Chloe.

Johnny greets EJ. Nicole slips through as EJ pays attention to him. He finds her in the rumpus room with Sydney.

Rafe rubs Sami's feet. Coincidentally, Sami reads the Gal Manual, "Caution... no guy just wants to give you a foot rub." Kate shows up and tells Sami EJ will try to ruin her life now that he knows Sami called her. Sami don' care. Kate says she should because she has a plan that could help.

Kate says she can't believe she's there taking Sami's side. Rafe can't believe she interrupted the "foot rub." Kate says she thinks it's wrong to take Sami's children from her. She says Stefano doesn't know about any of this and if she gets her hands on certain documents it could be a game changer. Rafe warns about crossing Stefano, but Kate asks if they can life without Sydney and Johnny. Brady calls Kate. She turns and tells Rafe and Sami she has another fire to go put out, "I think my plan is your only hope."

Carly leaves notes for Bo and Daniel propped up on the computer. She goes over, takes a hypo and contemplates the two anti-virus vials.

Daniel finds Brady, Phillip and Stephanie. He asks to talk to Phillip and they walk off. Father Matt finds Stephanie. He says he had a few minutes with Nathan and Melanie giving them last rights.

Whineanie says there is something she should have told them and semi-blames herself for their bout with Dungcootie Fever. Father Matt asks if that info might have been her way of making amends. Steponme says yes.

Melanie cools Nathan's fevered brow as Carly comes in.

Sami thinks Kate seemed not to be lying. She goes into a funk over the fact that the holidays are coming, but Mr. Reassurance calms her down. Sami goes to lay down for some alone time. "This isn't over," says Rafe. He grabs his coat and leaves.

Nicole, Johnny, EJ and Sydney play. EJ sends Johnny off. He says he knows Nicole is there for selfish reasons, but he's been thinking. STOP THE PRESSES! EJ HAS BEEN THINKING! He says he knows Nicole loves Sydney and tells her to take her to the garden and show her she loves her. "Let's go pull some weeds," says Nicole.

Chloe tells Brady Daniel will test the drug on himself. "If there is to be any testing of drugs around here," says Brady, "I'm your junkie." He asks how Chloe is doing. Chloe says she's an emotional wreck. She's as jittery as a whore in church. Or a whore in a hospital room with her ex-husband and newborn. She assures him she'll be fine. Brady leaves. Chloe picks up Parker. She sits with him and tells him she cheated and lied. She begs God not to punish Daniel for her sins. Then she starts to breast feed Parker.

"Holy cow," says Parker, "No one could be that hungry."

Daniel hustles into the lab all ready to work. She stops cold when he sees Carly's letter, opens it, reads and rushes out.

Brady tells Phillip and Stephanie Daniel developed the Dungcootie Fever drug overnight, and now has to test it on himself.

"Because it's healthier, I'm drinking 2% milk. The rest is 98% alcohol." -Brady Black

Kate walks up and wonders what they do now. Phillip tells her all they can do is wait and hope.

Phillip worries that Daniel is taking a real gamble taking the anti-virus himself, "If he pulls it off everyone will be happy."

"No," says Stephanie, "If it works, Melanie will still be with us and no one will be happy."

Melanie and Nathan freak out that Carly is in with them. Carly assures them everything will be all right.

Nicole and Sydney play in the garden. Nicole says she's happy because she's with her. Sydney says she's happy because EJ said they only have an hour to pull weeds.

EJ comes downstairs and finds Rafe, "What are you doing here?"

Kate tells Brady he can't ignore Vivian. Brady realizes that, and says he knows he will be first on Vivian's to-do list.

Phillip wonders why they wouldn't be happy if Nathan and Melanie make it out of this alive. Stephanie tells him it's because of the truth about Phillip and Parker.

Carly prepares the anti-virus and jams the hypo into her arm as Daniel watches and screams from outside the room, "NOOOOOO!!! That's the evidence from the SPD's last heroin bust!"

Rafe says Mary let him in, "I'm not here for Sami. I'm here for Will and Allie and the kids. You're not what's best for them. I'm hoping we can come to an agreement at least for the holidays."

"No," says EJ, "Never."

Nicole suggests she and Sydney have tea. Sami watches from the bushes and quiversnivels.

Previews
========

Carly tells Daniel, "If I don't get that drug, you know what the outcome is going to be."

Sami says to Nicole, "Get out of my way."

Rafe snorts at EJ, "You SOB!"

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Bupkis

2010-11-26T11:03:00.000-08:00

We start out where we left off in the Black Forest with EJ making threats, Sami threatening back and the heart-wrenching Sydnapping II. Sami puts on a brave face as EJ and Nicole wrench her children from her. Once they're gone, it's Niagara Falls from Sami.

The cop gives Brady a pen to sign the statement, but Brady just can't.

Roman comes into the pub and finds Will, Allie and Caroline. He wants to know what Sami has done now. "She got married," says Caroline.

"Which one," asks Roman.

"It's about her twelfth, I think," says Caroline.

Rafe tries to console Sami. He promises they will get the kids back, "We'll have them at the babysitter's in no time."

Bo finds Carly at the hospital. He asks about the Dungcootie Fever situation. Carly says Melanie and Nathan need an antiviral. "I've got one on my computer," says Bo.

Back in quarantine, Melanie and Nathan comfort each other. Sort of. "You're a jerk," says Melanie.

"Funny," says Nathan, "I feel the same way about you." Well, we're ALL in agreement.

Maxine finds Daniel, who says he might be making a little progress, "I think I have an idea... If only I had a clue."

Dr. Bo reassures Carly that Melanie will make it. Daniel rushes up and tells her they have work to do.

Nathan and Melanie discuss this "jerk" situation. Melanie thinks Nathan should have come to her when he found out Chloe was sleeping around. Nathan says if they had been together he would have.

Victor is with Detective Hansen, Brady and Vivian. He strong-arms him into leaving so Victor can have a word with "his family." The detective leaves and Vivian says there will be consequences if Brady signs the statement, "If I go down, I take every one of you with me."

"Well, you certainly haven't been going down since you married me," says Victor.

Daniel and Carly do research. Daniel thinks they can manufacture the anti-Dungcootie Fever protein right there in the hospital, "Get my Betty Crocker Cookbook."

Nathan thinks they should resolve things since they might not have much time left. If only... Melanie knows he wouldn't intentionally hurt her, BUT...

Sami and Rafe are outside the pub. Sami just can't go inside and face her family. Rafe promises they will be happy again. Childless, but happy.

Nicole and EJ get back to the DiMera mansion. Mary announces the kids room is ready. Nicole is reluctant to give up Sydney.

Roman tells Caroline he thinks he should have been at the wedding, "Giving Sami away forever would be a pleasure any father would want." Sami comes in and announces EJ has the kids.

"I wondered why you didn't ask me to babysit tonight," says Caroline.

Victor tells Vivian no one will ever believe her. Vivian says Maggie already does. "I'm holding all the cards and you have bupkis," says Vivian. Brady says they don't have much of a choice.

Nathan wakes up from a bad dream. Then he sees Melanie and wishes he was still dreaming. Melanie brings up the letter she wrote on her wedding day. Nathan thinks they may not make it out of this. "There is something I didn't tell you," says Melanie, "I heard you... talking in your sleep. You said 'I love you, Melanie.'"

"That's because I do love you." Man, the fever must be making him delirious.

EJ tells Nicole it's not up to Nicole to decide to keep holding Sydney, but he allows her to get Sydney ready for bed. He sends Mary up to get Johnny ready, then tells Nicole, "It's just like old times, isn't it. I swear I can smell foam rubber." He goes into the rumpus room, pours a drink and toasts, "To Samantha and the wedding you will never forget." OMG, after so many, how can she possibly choose which one that would be?

Sami weaves a tale for the people in the pub and tells them they thought it would be nice for Johnny and Allie to spend time with EJ. Will takes Allie away. Roman wants to hear that drivel again. Sami asks him to trust her, and then leaves. Rafe follows, grabs and hugs. Sami asks him to tell Roman to give her a break. I think the break Roman has in mind is her neck. Rafe goes back to the table as Roman rants. Rafe says he and Sami are doing what they think is best for the children. "Sami did it, didn't she," asks Roman, "And EJ can prove it, can't he?"

Daniel says they have to insert and synthesize the gene. Sounds good, doesn't it.

"Insert it into what and synthesize it how," asks Carly.

"Don't get hung up in the details," says Daniel.

Melanie backtracks and says she loves Phillip, not Nathan. Nathan says he loves Stephanie. Melanie don' wanna be like Chloe. Ho's of a feather flock together.

Sami comes back and asks Roman to trust her. Caroline backs her up, "Some things are best left unspoken."

"Like this entire script," says Roman. But he agrees and wishes Sami and Rafe the best, "I am on your side for all the Days Of Our Lives." They bring on the champagne. Roman toasts, "To Rafe and Sami, the damnedest couple I ever did see."

An Ejami in the audience shouts, "They're damned, all right!"

Victor and Brady argue. Brady says he got Victor into this and will get him out of it. Victor doesn't want Vivian going after Maggie again. Vivian says she has bigger fish to fry. Hansen comes back in and says Bo is on his way there right now. Brady hands Hansen a new statement. Victor asks him to shred the other copy and hands him a wad-o-cash as well as offering him the use of his yacht. Hansen gladly takes the "tip." he leaves and Vivian congratulates him on his maneuver.

Bo walks in and asks what rock Vivian crawled out from under. "Ask your father," says Vivian.

Carly finds Maxine and asks for the latest on Melanie and Nathan. Maxine updates her and Carly rushes into their room as Maxine cautions her not to do that.

Melanie and Nathan decide they're friends. They deserve each other. "My head feels like it's going to explode," says Melanie.

"Vacuums can't explode," says Nathan. He crawls into bed with her.

Rafe and Sami have Allie sleeping in the back room. Rafe sits on the couch with Sami. She talks about the number of times Roman has had to clean up her messes, "What have I done to my family?"

"It's only an hour show," says Rafe, "We don't have enough time to get into that."

Nicole and EJ are in the rumpus room talking about the evening's adventure. She tries to convince him he can't have his children home and happy alone. She tells him the kids are there because of her and he has to change the way he treats her.

Changed EJ takes her drink, pours it into his and, bottoms up.

Nathan and Melanie cuddle as Carly looks in. She knocks. Nathan slowly gets up and limps over to the door. Carly asks, "How are you?"

"You mean besides dying of Dungcootie Fever," asks Nathan. Melanie wakes.

Gabi and Will deal with the aftermath in the pub. Gabi says she thinks EJ was holding something Arianna had over Sami's head and that's now he got the kids.

EJ is cordial. He tells Nicole he's in a good mood. Nicole thinks that's because he got what he wanted, "And I can make sure you keep it."

Rafe pulls Sami in and tells her after everything that's happened, he's happy they're married. "It hasn't sunk in," says Sami.

"It will in 20-30 years," says Rafe.

"Twenty to thirty years," repeats Sami, "That's a long time."

i>"You're right. It's almost a decade," says Rafe. Allie calls and says she can't sleep. Sami says she thinks Allie misses Johnny and Sydney.

Bo reads the statement and says it's hard to swallow. "It's not a donut," says Victor. Bo says he'll talk to Maggie and sends Brady and Victor packing. He detains Vivian and asks why she came back. Vivian says Salem is her home. Bo says he'll be watching her.

Sami sleeps on the couch with Allie. Rafe picks Allie up and carries her into the back room, "You're not getting in the way of my action tonight, kid."

Gabi tells Will they're family now, "If you ever want to talk, I am (say it with her) here for you."

Rafe tucks Allie in and then joins Sami in bed. They cuddle.

Nicole suggests EJ get up to read Johnny his bedtime story soon, "I'm off."

"I know," says EJ, "But are you leaving?"

As she leaves, Nicole asks when she gets to see Sydney again. EJ says she can stop by tomorrow. "I'll see you in the morning," says Nicole. EJ rolls his eyes.

Bo calls for Hansen. Hansen comes in and Bo says Brady's statement is five sentences long and it looks like it was written in a hurry. Bo thinks there was an original statement that Brady "updated." Hansen says Brady wrote the first statement when he was upset. Bo wants to see the statement. Hansen says it no longer exists. Bo growls, "Consider what you have in your pocket your severance," He wads up and tosses the bogus statement as Hansen walks out, contemplating his upcoming Greek adventure.

Victor and Brady are back at the Kiriakis mansion. Brady says he couldn't let Victor and Nicole pay for what he started and he hopes things work out with Victor and Maggie.

Vivian is on the phone with Gus making threats to the people who sarcophagized her.

Daniel works and claims to be on the right track to finding the long-anticipated Dungcootie Fever cure.

Carly tells Nathan and Melanie not to give up. Melanie blows her a kiss.

This episode, on the other hand, merely blows...

Previews
========

Nicole tells Brady, "There is something I have to tell you and you should hear it from me."

EJ yells at Kate, "Don't lie to me."

Daniel tells Chloe, "Melanie and Nathan are going to die if I don't help them."

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Happy Thanksgiving

2010-11-25T03:15:00.000-08:00

Husband Du Jour

2010-11-24T11:03:00.000-08:00

We open today's adventure at the sarcophagus. Take a good look at it... this story is coming to an end and it may be the last chance you get to see this well-warn prop. And be thankful you don't have smellevision. Victor caresses Maggie's cheek and pours his heart out to her, telling her she'll be fine. Maggie whispers, "Victor, I thought I heard you say..."

Victor interrupts, "I love you... you did. And I do... advice from the Guy Manual be damned."

Maggie swoons again. Victor screams, Maggie! Maggie... no!" Vivian cackles like the Wicked Witch of the West. Apologies to the Wicked Witch of the West for the comparison.

Hope is in the infirmary. Leigh comes in and introduces Pam, who has a cut tendon and needs surgery. She had a disagreement in the kitchen, "I told her this ain't Top Chef." Hope determines Pam has no family outside and tells her that might be a problem, "Do not sign the consent form. If you stay here, you're risking your life,"

"I know," says Pam, "I've seen the food in the kitchen. It comes from a place called the Brady Pub."

Sami and Rafe do the "with this ring, I thee wed" part and instead of wrapping up this odyssey of a wedding, Rafe says he has a present for her.

We revisit the same rage-filled display we saw from EJ yesterday. He finds out about the wedding and smashes a glass against the wall, "SON OF A B*ITCH!" Yes, I think he got the "B-Word" out. Nicole tells him to calm down and reminds him he has won. "You're right. She won't see her children again," says EJ, "I'll make sure of that."

Victor encourages Maggie not to give up. Brady goes to call 911. Fortunately he has it on speed dial.

Rafe has given Sami a Christmas tree ornament. Well, there won't be a virgin birth in this union, so they might as well celebrate another one.

A dark figure stalks and watches from the woods.

Pam nearly panics. Leigh watches and Hope backpedals and tells Pam to do as she said. Pam goes to Leigh and insists they go to Salem Hospital. The warden walks in and Leigh tells her what's going on. The warden tells her about the outbreak of Dungcootie Fever. Hope asks who is infected and the warden just happens to know. She tells her it's Nathan and Melanie. Hope says, "Nathan is my cousin."

"Was your cousin," says the warden.

They arrest Vivian, who says she won't talk until she sees her lawyer. "Thank the dear Lord," says the cop. They wheel Maggie out.

The minister starts the "cord ceremony." Carolyn reads from Ecclesiastes about the meaning of three cords. The whole family weaves a cord. A distraught viewer who can't believe how long this is dragging on grabs it and tries to hang herself with it. The mysterious figure continues to watch.

Nicole assures EJ Sami's marriages never last more than six months. EJ says he hopes this one sicks so she has to spend her life with "that idiot." Nicole offers to do anything for the kids. EJ says there is something she can do.

Jennifer is at the hospital. She apologizes to Dr. Walters as they wheel Maggie in. Jennifer says she will be right with her all the way. They wheel Maggie off. Jen stays. So much for her being with Maggie all the way.

Brady is in with Vivian and a cop telling the story. Vivian rolls her eyes. The cop says, "This is the craziest story I've ever heard."

"You don't watch DOOL, do you," asks Brady.

The minister gives an endless prayer to top off the endless wedding, and then finally ends things and pronounces them husband and wife. "Well, Mrs. Hernandez, how does it feel," asks Rafe.

"Like anything is possible," says Sami. They see a shooting star. With any luck it's an asteroid that's about to hit and put us all out of our misery.

The warden returns and tells Hope Nathan and Melanie are in quarantine. It's all toucyh-feely lovey-dovey between Hope and the warden at the moment.

The cop gets a call and leaves. Brady stares daggers as Vivian launches her wrath on him. Brady backs her off and warns her that he will protect Victor. He tells her to back off, "Do you hear what I'm saying to you, old woman?"

Vivian says, "I'm sorry but if this old woman is taking a rap, everyone's going down with me!"

Victor tells Jen there has been an incident, but is vague about the details. Ben comes back and says Maggie is doing well. Jennifer goes in to see her.

Back in the woods, we all bask in the beauty of the never-ending ceremony. The guests head for the pub as Sami tries to be hopeful. She rambles on as EJ and Nicole approach, EJ is ominous, "Your time is up, Rafe."

Brady and Vivian keep it up. Brady says he'll own up to everything, but doesn't want her implicating Victor or Phillip. Vivian says all she wants is revenge, "I could put that aside under the proper circumstances, however."

Victor comes in to see Maggie. Mags says she didn't think she would make it, "I have to ask... is it true that you put Vivian in the sarcophagus?"

Hope does paperwork as Pam rests behind her. She notices Pam is to be cremated, "We have to get you out of here."

Sami suggests Rafe hold the kids along with Nicole while she talks with EJ. EJ says his people watch her all the time, "I have some very nice videos taken through your bedroom window, in fact." She begs for more time, but cold-hearted EJ denies the request.

Victor tells Maggie the sarcophagus was all Vivian's doing. Maggie asks about Victor's role in all this. He admits he had a role in it and Maggie lectures. Victor insists he was just giving Vivian a taste of her own medicine. "You should have gone to the authorities," Says Maggie.

"That would have been the intelligent thing to do," says Victor. Maggie says what he did scares her to death.

Hope tires to wake Pam. No can do. She looks at her file and finds out she's been sedated. Hope then takes a paper clip and gets into the oh-so-secure file and digs out a cell phone.

EJ and Sami argue about all the baggage we all already know about. Sami compares her mothering skills favorably to Nicole's. He reminds Sami a child never died on Nicole's watch. THAT DOES IT! Sami 'splodes, "You bastard!"

EJ accuses her of never putting her children first, "So I'm taking my children away from the narcissistic, promiscuous, irresponsible mother."

Vivian wants to make a deal: in exchange for her silence, all the charges against her will be dropped, "It's Maggie's word against mine. Due to the fumes for all she knows she was kidnapped by Liza Minnelli." She tells Brady he can still be a hero by taking her offer. Brady can't guarantee Victor will buy it.

Victor doesn't apologize, but he sure can rationalize, "I meant what I said when I said it."

"About loving me," asks Maggie.

"No," says Victor, "About how bad the sarcophagus smelled when I opened it."

The warden walks in and finds Hope on the cell phone. She grabs it from her.

EJ says, "If you don't accept my deal you, Will and your husband-du-jour will go to prison." Rafe asks for the original deal... having the kids for a few more hours and then turning them over.

"I taught advanced algebra from the ages of 25 - 30, then was fired for no apparent reason. What a waste of 7 years" -Rafe Hernandez

EJ grabs Johnny and tells him he and Sydney will be living with him. Johnny don' wanna.

EJ lays a sales pitch on reluctant Johnny, "We will be together for all the Days Of Our Lives." He picks up Johnny and has Nicole grab Sydney. Sami refuses. Sami begs. Sami rips her heart out and gives Nicole that instead.

The cop comes back with typed statements. Brady reads and refuses to sign.

Maggie asks Victor to go. Victor gets up and shuffles out with his tail between his legs. Maggie bawls.

Jennifer yells for Hope. The warden asks what Hope was doing. She says she called about her cousin. The warden says she broke the rules. Hope promises it won't happen again. The warden revokes all of Hope's privileges and tosses her in solitary.

Sami blubbers. Nicole reminds her she gave her a chance. EJ presses and threatens. Sami sobs and hands Sydney over. Nicole takes her as Sami falls into Rafe's arms.

EJ tells Johnny his mom is crying because she is so happy that she married Rafe, "He means more to her than anything." Sami says it's not true, but tells Johnny they're going to have a grownup party at the pub. In spite of the fact it's only for grownups, Rafe and her are going. Johnny agrees to go to EJ's house to avoid the party. Heartless EJ yanks him away from Sami, who manages a smile as they walk off.

Sami collapses into a heap o' tears. Then, suddenly, she reconsiders the situation, "Actually, this isn't so bad. Who would have thought we'd be able to get a babysitter for our wedding night on such short notice?"

Previews
========

Carly tells Bo, "If this virus spreads, it could be a disaster."

Rafe tells Sami, "He's not gettin' away with this."

EJ toasts, "To Samantha and the wedding you will never forget."

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A Coupon-Cutting Suburban Siren

2010-11-23T13:01:00.000-08:00

Maggie sarcophagizes. She sees well-done, barbequed, smokin' Victor lying on the floor and he sees Vivian towering over him.

Doug and Julie are at the prison all bouncy and happy to see Hope. They're also wearing matching outfits. Hope asks if they've talked to Bo. Julie misinterprets and wants to know what's up with scumbag Bo.

Nicole and EJ are still by the pier. Nicole asks him to let her in Sydney's life. "If I didn't let Samantha in, why would I do that for you," asks EJ.

"For one thing," says Nicole, "I didn't shoot you in the head."

"And Samantha didn't fake a pregnancy," says EJ.

Sami and Rafe stand amidst flowers, lights and a few sneezing guests who are allergic to tons of flowers. The virgin bride walks down the aisle. So does Sami.

The ceremony begins. Blitherin' bawlin' Sami breaks down. The twelfth wedding really gets to you.

Hope asks about Doug and Julie's outfits and they announce they are going steady. She says Bo has been coming so much they've restricted his visits. She also tells them not to worry about her. Julie says they have to since the holidays are coming. She removes her foot from her mouth and apologizes.

EJ and Nicole continue to go through the "why did Nicole go to Sami and EJ first" routine. Nicole continues to ask EJ to do what is best for Sydney. EJ promises he will, and walks off.

Sami blubbers away. Rafe tells her she's making him the happiest man on earth by wearing a dress that's so low cut. Sami continues to worry, "What if I go to prison? It would take a miracle to get me out of this."

Sami finally straightens up and decides whatever she has to face, she wants to face as Rafe's wife.

Vivian taunts Victor Skewerakis. "The last wish of a dying man," begs Victor, "Shut up."

"You were enticed by a coupon-cutting suburban siren," says Vivian.

Sami rejpairs he mascara-streaked face, does the bipolar bossa-nova and decides this is the happiest day of her life.

EJ and Nicole get back to the DiMera mansion. Different setting... same conversation. EJ tells her to leave and hustles into the rumpus room. Nicole follows. She says he walks away when he knows he's wrong and hates admitting it. EJ tells her what she is doing doesn't serve her purpose. She reminds him when she was really pregnant they each loved the child and each other.

Finally, the wedding ceremony starts. The minister says, "Although we are not in a traditional church, we are still in the presence of God, and these infernal allergy-inflaming flowers He created."

EJ tells Nicole his entire life has been a lie. Nicole tells him he has been emotional, irrational and stupid. "What is stupid," says EJ, "is talking to me like that when you want something."

"What is stupid," says Nicole, "is talking to you, period." She says EJ needs her for balance. "Nobody will ever need you in their life for balance," says EJ. Nicole contends he knows she is right.

Hope says Bo will be bringing Ciara to see her on Thanksgiving. The Bobbsey Twins say they will be there, too.

The warden joins Leigh in the infirmary. Leigh tells her Hope has visitors. The warden says that's OK as long as the visitor isn't Bo, "For now, we're stuck with Hope... unless she steps out of line and then I can do what I want with her."

Vivian raises a knife and Maggie screams for Victor to watch out.

Brady rushes in and saves Victor. Inside the sarcophagus, Maggie swoons.

Here's a switch, Nicole thinks EJ is wrong and EJ thinks he isn't. EJ tells her to get out again. "I've been barking up the wrong tree," says Nicole, "You're not afraid of me being part of Sydney's life... you're afraid of me being part of yours."

Rafe recites vows he has written all on his own, "Pi r squared... but your boobs certainly aren't."

Victor slowly lifts the lid and sees unconscious Maggie.

Julie says, "Hope, we are (say it with her) here for you." Doug thinks there is something Hope isn't telling her. The guard announces she's leaving.

"Thanks, Mimi," says Doug. The pair explains they have bribed Mimi to give them some private time. Family hug.

Sami has written her vows, too. She says Rafe is her Hero. Translation: Rhymes with zero. "You will always (say it with her) be there for me. That's you. Remember when I made you feel my stomach when Sydney was kicking, and you missed the target and felt a lot higher? That's when I started falling in love with you. I am so lucky your heart chose all my personalities to fall in love with. No matter what happens I couldn't get through it without you."

Victor shakes Maggie as Vivian insists Maggie is dead. Victor finds a pulse, and then tries finding one on Maggie.

Mimi takes Hope back to the infirmary. Hope sees Leigh and remembers talking to the warden about her. Leigh snaps Hope out of her funk and asks how things went. Hope says she's trying to figure how to make Thanksgiving bearable this year. She asks if Leigh's family visits. Leigh says they live too far away, and wants to know why Hope is so interested in them.

EJ says Nicole is delusional. Nicole thinks all the feelings from when they were married... and the scent of foam rubber... will come back for EJ. She insists she didn't make a fool of him back when she made a fool of him. "I know you love Johnny and Sydney, but that's only a part of your happiness. If you go on like this you'll end up lonely and sad."

"And if you go on like this you'll end up sitting on your arse outside," says EJ.

The minister says, "I will now read a passage from the Bible."

"From the what," asks Sami.

Hope backs off and says she was out of line asking about Leigh's family. Leigh says she doesn't think Hope was being nosy, "But in prison, don't get too close to anyone. We only get one shower a week."

Victor apologizes for taking so long to get to Maggie. He tells her he loves her. Maggie conks out again. Vivian cackles with laughter.

The minister says, "Please face each other and take each other's hands... I said her HANDS, Mr. Hernandez..."

Nicole thinks EJ can't trust himself around her, "Don't worry, your virtue is safe around me."

"It's been so long since I got any, I think I got my virtue back," says EJ, "but I don't' want to talk about this."

"OK," says Nicole, "Kick me out, but you will think about what I said whether you want to or not."

"Keep telling yourself that," says EJ. He gets a call, "What about Samantha?" He gasps... "They're doing what?"

Rafe and Sami say, "I do."

EJ hangs up the phone and throws a glass across the room, "DAMN THAT WOMAN! That glass she just made me ruin was part of my best set of crystal."

Previews
========

Brady asks, "Do you hear what I'm saying to you, old woman?" Vivian says, "I'm sorry but if this old woman is taking a rap, everyone's going down with me!"

Hope says, "You're not getting away with this, Leigh."

Sami wrestles with EJ, "You bastard!"

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A Tailspin

2010-11-22T15:45:00.000-08:00

We are back at the Hernandez Hovel, a.k.a. Sami's Slobberhaus or the Brady Bawlatorium and Sami is... blubbering that she and Rafe can't get married today. Rafe assures her they can. I remain confused, having read the Guy Manual cover to cover, and I'm sure it says conversations like this usually are the other way around, with the guy insisting they can't get married. I'll have to check that section again.

Victor is in the Kiriakis den wondering what Vivian has done to Maggie, "She couldn't have... yes, she could've."

Inside the sarcophagus, Maggie calls for Victor.

Chad paces in the rumpus room and picks up a knife/letter-opener. Stefano comes in and Chad stashes the shiv.

Nicole and EJ are at the pier. Nicole wonders if she should have trusted EJ. She asks if she will have a place in Sydney's life. EJ asks why she tired to make a deal with Samantha.

Sami continues to fall apart and asks if Rafe has a plan. Plans are for wimps... so Rafe has a plan.

Victor calls for Vivian over the bluetooth. She lounges with her facial mudpack on as Victor says he's thinking of letting her out. Vivian bolts upright.

Pollyanna Sami just knows Rafe has a plan. He tells her it won't solve all of their problems. In fact, Rafe's plans usually don't solve any problems.

Kate excuses herself to check on Melanie at the hospital. Chad tells Stefano if the job is still open he'd like it. Stefano agrees, "You start Monday and I'll teach you how to be more decisive." Chad pulls the knife and Stefano cells him to get rid of it. Chad says they have something to settle between them.

EJ rages at Nicole for going to Sami first. Nicole makes excuses and reminds him Sami hates him more than she hates her, "I mean, she shot you." She assures EJ she was going to include him in visitation arrangements she made with Sami.

EJ isn't sympathetic. He also brings up the fact that Rafe got the last taped confession — the one of him confessing about the Sydnapping. He figures Nicole was going to give the camera to Nicole, "You give me one reason why I shouldn't throw you in this river right now."

Rafe sits Sami on the couch and talks to her like she's a junior high school kid. Sami is flattered he's treating her at that high of a mental level. He says he wants to be in this together with her, "Plus, you have other problems besides EJ."

Victor wonders why Vivian is silent. Vivian breathes into a paper bag and suggests he just leave her where she is. Then she threatens to go to the police. Victor gets it and heads for the mausoleum. Vivian calls Gus and tells him Victor is getting suspicious.

Nicole calms EJ down and says she went to Sami first because she thought it would be better for Sydney. EJ ramps the rage back up and Nicole assures him as soon as she got a foot in the door she was going straight back to EJ. She admits going to Sami first was wrong, "I don't know what you saw in her."

"A couple things," says EJ, "Big things."

Rafe says Bo said he's going to arrest Sami if he has to. Sami says if she's going to prison there is no way she's handing EJ her kids, "He'd be more expensive than most other babysitters."

Victor enters the mausoleum. Maggie watches as he fiddles around the sarcophagus. He pulls on the lever to open it.

Kate comes back into the rumpus room and gasps when she sees the knife. Chad says he doesn't want to kill Stefano, "I just want some blood."

"Why?"

"Vampires are all the rage right now," says Chad.

Rafe says the cops only have circumstantial evidence on Sami. He reminds her if she marries him, they can't make him testify against her. So much for true love. Sami says she isn’t sure she should get out of this, "I'm tired of running scared and asking you and Will to cover for me."

"I cover for you because I love you," says Rafe, "And because I get some occasionally." He moves in and tries to make this one of those occasions. He says they will be strong and beat EJ, "So take my hand and say you will be mine and we will go through this together." Sami hugs and says yes, "Marrying you is the wedding of my dreams... anytime... anyplace..."

"I want to spend all the Days Of Our Lives making you happy," says Rafe.

Stefano wants an explanation. Chad tells him about the birth certificate. Stefano says any two-bit con man can create a fake birth certificate. He orders Chad to leave, but Chad refuses. He insists he isn't trying to scam him and pulls out the certificate. Stefano looks at it and says it's a really good forgery. Chad asks if Stefano had an affair with Madeline. "No," says Stefano, "It's not an affair when you pay."

Nicole says she was desperate to replace the baby she lost and then found out about Sami's pregnancy, "I risked everything. And I know Sydney belongs with you."

Sami decides they should celebrate tonight and worry about other things tomorrow, "We will have a wonderful wedding and all be together." Rafe is on board with that. He leaves to set things up. The upcoming Royal Wedding won't be able to hold a candle to this extravaganza.

Victor continues to pry at the sarcophagus. Gus comes up behind him, "Say goodnight, Victor."

Victor turns around, "Goodnight, Victor." Gus jams a taser in Victor's back. "Don't tase me, bro," begs Victor.

"I'm not going to tase you," says Gus, "I'm from the TSA."

"OMG," says Victor, "Don't touch my junk!"

"Then I have to tase you," says Gus.

ZAP!

Kate suggests both Stefano and Chad get tested.

Sami announces to her kids that she and Rafe are getting married tonight. Johnny asks if he can call Rafe daddy. "In your case," says Sami, " and in fact for all my kids, we're not sure which one you should call daddy." She says anything else they have to talk about can wait until tomorrow. Family hug.

Kate, Stefano and Chad are at the hospital. They walk past the Hazmat guys and discuss the outbreak of Guatemala Fever. Stefano goes over to speak to the nurse about a DNA test. She tells him the lab is closed, and a doctor has to order the test. Stefano pulls out a wad-o-cash and suggests the nurse can draw blood herself. The nurse grabs the cash and a hypo. She hauls Chad off.

Nicole says, "My life went into a tailspin when you and I broke up. Then I saw Sydney again and all those memories came back, along with the scent of foam rubber. And you will get her back. I am not threatening you, but I am asking... will you let me be a part of her life?"

Rafe is at the pub. He tells Gabi to put on a nice dress for his wedding. The Gabster reminds him they just buried Arianna. "Well, I'm not inviting her," says Rafe. He says what happened to Arianna was not Sami's fault. Rafe pours it on, "Life is too short... I love Sami... and I might not get any tonight if we're not married. It would mean the world to me if you are there."

Caroline shows up at the Hernandez Hovel. She's all happy-happy about the wedding. She gives Sami bric-a-brac for the ceremony, as well as a boatload of platitudes.

Maggie sees Victor lying on the floor. Tased and well-done. Victor sees Vivian walk in, "I'm alive and kicking, Victor."

Nicole plays the Sydney card, "Think about her... I may be the only mother she has for a while... do it for Sydney."

We're either in a flower shop or at the wedding. Sami hands Sydney off to Will as the minister steps up. "So," asks Rafe, "Are you ready to get married?"

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Bat-Wing Crazy

2010-11-19T11:03:00.001-08:00

We're at the Hernandez Hovel and it's a High-Noon standoff between Sami and EJ. EJ decides they will make a deal where he gets everything and she gets zippo. He'll let bygones be bygones in return for the kids.

Brady lies passed out in a chair as he hears Vivian begging him. Isabella shows up and tells him Vivian needs him to set her free.

Vivian toasts Gus for helping her. Gus thinks she needs to think of one thing — Victor. "Don't be Debbie Downer on me," says Vivian. She calls Maggie to check in on her. Maggie begs her to let her out.

Rafe calls Sami and tells her not to give up as Nicole listens. Nicole walks up and asks him, "Will you still love her when she's convicted of attempted murder?"

Sami says she doesn't have a choice, "We can split time with the kids." Not so fast oh-woman-of-multiple-personalities-not-to-mention-multiple-babysitters... EJ wants full custody.

Rafe tells Nicole to vamoose. Name calling ensues and, wonder of wonders, Nicole can see he's annoyed for what she did with the camera. Nicole figures Rafe wasn't going to let her get close to Sydney. Rafe figures Sydney isn't Nicole's kid. Nicole rages and says Sami is finally getting what she deserves.

EJ spells things out slowly, "You don't ever get to see Johnny or Sydney. Ever. You are dead to them. Dead. Got me?"

Clhoe sits with Parker and talks baby talk. Victor joins her because he's anxious to see his godson's child /grandchild.

Maggie begs for water. Vivian taunts and says she can't come in with it because Victor has posted a guard in front of the mausoleum, "Eventually you will die, but you will be joining Mickey."

"But I don't want to go to hell," wails Maggie.

Izzy tells Brady when he makes someone suffer he only punishes himself. She has a few other choice clichés in her bag of tricks, too.

Sami can't believe EJ would have her abandon her children. She does that without his help. EJ threatens to go to the cops. Sami threatens to play the CD of him admitting to kidnapping Sydney. It's the battle of the incriminating recordings, "You send me to hell and you are coming with me, EJ." I suspect eventually they'll be meeting there anyway.

Phillip comes in and they update Victor on Nathan and Melanie's situation. He says they have tried to contact Maggie but no one knows where she is.

Vivian continues to taunt Maggie. Maggie plays the "you're also punishing my family by killing me" card.

Rafe goes berserk and blames Nicole for everything that's happening. Nicole says he and Sami should have known if they didn't take the deal Nicole would have to take the information to EJ.

EJ reminds Sami the recording of him confessing was taped illegally. Sami starts name-calling. EJ reminds her she shot him and says he thinks he's being generous with his offer. He says if she doesn't accept she'll go to prison and her kids will find out what she did, "So go ahead... call Daddy. Call Uncle Bo. It's your move." Go ahead, Sami. If anything will get you off the hook, it's involving the SPD.

Vivian tells Maggie she hasn't been thinking of how this would affect Maggie's family. She lectures Maggie for going after Victor, but Maggie insists she didn't do that, "Your marriage was..."

"A joke?"

"There is nothing in your heart but hatred and anger," says Maggie, "I feel sorry for you." Vivian doesn't feel sorry for Maggie. She cuts her off.

Kate arrives at the Kiriakis mansion. Brady tells her he's letting Vivian out.

Nicole gets macho with Rafe, "I'm not afraid of you."

"You can't stand to see Sami happy."

"She has four kids, two different fathers," says Nicole, "She makes me look like Mary Poppins. And she tried to kill the father of two of those kids. "

Rafe reminds Nicole she wants what Sami has — children. He taunts and says Sydney knows who her mother is, or at least could pick her out of a lineup with all the babysitters, "It sure as hell ain't you."

The threats continue to fly at the Hernandez Hovel and Sami says she'll never give up her kids. EJ says she could also lose Will or Rafe, "You admitted they knew and helped you cover it up. They are as guilty as you are. You would selfishly serve up the ones you love to further your own agenda."

Kate can't believe Brady is going to free Vivian. He tells her they have sunk to Vivian's level. Kate ain' happy, "You open that Pandora's Box and she will come after everyone we love."

Victor thinks Maggie's absence has gone on too long, "It's like she turned into Mickey." Phillip leaves. Victor puts on the bluetooth and calls Vivian. Vivian answers. She huffs and puffs and tells him she's becoming more deranged. "You were bat-wing crazy to begin with, " says Victor. He tells her this is all her fault.

Nicole says she was the first person to hold Sydney and to cherish and love her. Rafe reminds her she created the hell Sydney went through. Rafe realizes Nicole has given EJ everything with no guarantees, "Get real. EJ won't let you near his little girl. So basically your reward is you never get to see Sydney again. Genius."

We're back to playing 'Deal Or No Deal' at the Hernandez Hovel. Sami says people will be able to figure out EJ is blackmailing her. He orders her to come up with some excuse as to why she would give him her children, "Either accept the terms, or you, Will and Rafe go to prison."

"If I go to prison you will too," says Sami.

"Maybe... maybe not. But Johnny, Sydney and Allie will be the ones to get hurt," says EJ.

Kate tells Brady he's not thinking clearly. Brady's heard that before. He tells Kate he has to go check on Melanie. Kate hasn't heard about the Guatemala Fever outbreak. Brady fills her in and leaves.

Victor can't believe Vivian is actually taking responsibility. Vivian says what she is guilty of is trying to make their marriage work. He tells her he's going to an Italian restaurant tonight while she's locked up. "Poor me," says Vivian. Victor wonders why she sounds so cocky.

Sami says EJ has a right to get revenge against her but begs him not to involve the children. She pours it on thick, "After everything we have been through I know what you are capable of but I know you want your kids to be happy. Please don't do this to them.

Brady finds Victor and asks about Melanie and Nathan. Victor dunno. Victor says Maggie's email didn't say much about where she was going. Brady says he didn't realize Maggie sent an email. He runs off to check on Melanie.

Chad shows up at the DiMera mansion. Kate invites him in. Chad says he's there to see Stefano. Kate figures Chad is going to tell him about the birth certificate. Chad is noncommittal.

Brady is with Chloe. "We can't give up hope," says Chloe.

"Why not," asks Brady, "Bo did."

Phillip walks in and says he can't imagine life without Melanie, "But I'd sure like to give it a try."

Sami begs. EJ softens. Then he looks at the picture of Sami and Rafe, "You have 24 hours to tell everyone why you will never be seen with your children again." He tells her he's having her watched so she can't run, and then he leaves. Sami bawls. Outside, EJ leans against the door and sighs.

Chad asks Kate to get Stefano. Surprisingly, Kate goes to get him. Chad stands there and contemplates a knife.

Victor orders his men to find Maggie. Then he remembers Vivian telling him not to open the sarcophagus, and his recent conversation with her, "Could it be?"

Maggie cries for help.

Victor gasps, "Maggie?"

Nicole is on the phone saying she won't go to the hospital because of the virus, "I know you're my boss but I'm not going to be a victim of this, so fire me but bye-bye." EJ shows up and and Nicole asks what happened with Sami. EJ says Sami agreed to give him custody. "What does that mean for me," asks Nicole, "I trusted you... So will I get to be a part of Sydney's life or not?"

Sami staggers around the Hernandez Hovel crying like a little girl. Sorry for the redundancy. Rafe comes in. She rushes him and blubbers about what happened with EJ. Rafe tells her it's not over, "First things first... let's get married. In fact, let's speed things up and have the wedding night before we get married."

Previews
========

Stefano tells Chad, "If I were you, I would lose that knife, son."

EJ screams at Nicole, "You give me one reason why I shouldn't throw you in this river right now."

Sami says, "Rafe, it would take a miracle to get me out of this!"

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Who's Matt?

2010-11-18T11:05:00.000-08:00

Bo stands in the front room of the Hernandez Hovel with Rafe, Sami, EJ, Johnny and Allie. The kids get the impression they don't belong there, so they go elsewhere in search of adult supervision. As they leave, the total IQ in the room takes a precipitous drop. Crack investigative officer Bo asks his usual penetrating question, "What's going on?" EJ encourages Sami to fill Bo in. The dead silence he's met with is unusual only by the fact that Sami is in the room. Sami and silence are like oil and water. Seeing as how Sami isn't in the mood for conversation, EJ steps up to the plate and volunteers to tell Bo everything. What a guy!

Phillip comes into Chloe's room as she checks on the Parkster. Phillip has a big wrapped box. He admires the baby and Chloe opens the present. It's some kind of clothing or something. The kid doesn't care since it's not a toy. Chloe gushes over how things have turned out.

Stephanie notices Nathan has a fever. Nathan denies, then falls face-first in his tomato soup. Stephanie tells him what Caroline did is really bad.

Melanie gets woozy. Daniel has her sit down.

Ben and Carly look at the Rodriguez case. Ben notices the doctor was Nathan and the nurse was Melanie.

Bo clams EJ up because EJ might have some real information for him, . He asks EJ to leave. EJ pulls out the video camera and offers to show something interesting to Bo. Bo says he's in violation of his restraining order and orders him to leave. Smarty-mouth EJ sasses the big commish. Bo takes him aside and makes threats, "Show me whats on that camera later. Get your ass out of here now or get dragged out in handcuffs." EJ gets his ass out. Ejamis watch his ass go.

Bo says he needs to pick Rafe's brain on a case. "It must be a small case," says Sami. She leaves.

Bo tells Rafe, "I know exactly what Sami's done."

Parker yawns. The show is putting him to sleep, too. Phillip tells Chloe she's a tough cookie, "You have the IQ of one, too, and your life is just as crummy." They both agree they made a stupid mistake but chuckle that they got away with it. Parker gets fussy and Phillip calms him down.

Carly panics because Melanie was the nurse on the Rodriguez case. She runs around like a crazy woman (sorry for the redundancy) and tries to get hold of Melanie.

Daniel asks Melanie if she's eaten anything unusual or had contact with anyone unusual. Being she's in Salem, it takes her about a half hour to tell him who she's been around that might be unusual. She tells him about Mr. Rodriguez, and says Nathan was with her.

Nathan gets sicker but, hey, consider whom he is with. He collapses and Stephanie orders someone to call for help.

Melanie gets sicker. Daniel asks her if she was wearing gloves when she treated Rodriguez. "Oops," says well-trained nurse Melanie. She collapses and Daniel carries her off.

Phillip says he has realized he's ready to start a family. Good thing, Daddy. They both agree each other would make great parents. Parker weighs in as the Loyal Opposition to that point of view.

Carly leaves a message for Melanie, then calls Daniel, who tells her what's going on.

They wheel Nathan in. Ben explains things to Stephanie, and says Rodriguez died. He orders Maxine to test Stephanie. Phillip overhears them talking about Melanie and wonders what's up.

EJ is back at the Hernandez Hovel. He says he saw the guys leave and wants to talk to Sami about the video. Sami says he has nothing on her, except an ironclad confession. She says she wishes she had succeeded in killing him.

Carly, Daniel and Ben reconnoiter. Daniel assures Melanie he won't let anything to happen to her. Stephanie watches and worries as they decide Melanie and Nathan have to be isolated. Phillip wants to know what's going on, "We don't know," yells Carly, "What do you think we are, doctors?"

Bo and Rafe are at the pub. He tells Rafe he's sitting on a ticking time bomb. Rafe jumps out of his chair. Rafe tells Bo Sami has no defense, and he can't protect her.

EJ says it's too bad he wasn't recording Sami's threat. Sami says she was out of her mind when she shot him (with Sami, the fact she was out of her mind goes without saying). EJ says he was contemplating suicide because Sami took his kids from him, "YOU TRIED TO MURDER ME!" Sami rationalizes and reminds him of everything that led up to the attempt. EJ insists Sami will go to jail for a very long time.

"You can't make that happen and you know it," says Sami.

"Try me," says EJ.

Stephanie sits with Phillip, who gets snappy, then apologizes for it. Stephanie snorts back, "Stop pretending like you even give a damn."

Both Stephanie and Phillip are worried sick, so they decide the thing to do is bicker about what will happen if Nathan and Melanie are locked up together. Oh-so-sensitive Stephanie says if Melanie croaks Phillip has other options.

"Melanie is my life," says Phillip.

"Right... except for when she's not," says Stephanie.

The docs talk about the case as Maxine reports Nathan and Melanie are in the isolation unit. She leaves and Phillip walks up and offers to do anything he can, "I can get a private jet.. give money... bang a worried fiancée... — I'm especially good at that one..."

Bo advises Rafe to marry Sami and then he won't be able to testify against her, "My hands are tied." Rafe decides he and Sami will marry. Caroline overhears and drops her jaw.

EJ suggests Sami not lecture him on what is admissible in court. Sami brings up everything he has done and he claims none of it can be used in court. He also tells her the video is inadmissible unless he can find something to corroborate it, "I don't have to make something up. I know where the smoking gun is."

Caroline butts in and Bo tells her he and Rafe need privacy. Caroline says if her granddaughter is getting married right away she should know. Rafe and Bo calm her down and Caroline gives her blessing.

Sami insists there is no smoking gun. "What about the one in the river," asks EJ, "The one you talk about on the video."

"It certainly wouldn't still be smoking," says Sami. She backpedals and says there is no gun.

EJ wonders what if he produced it in court, "The one I retrieved from the river."

Stephanie walks into Chloe's room as Clhoe sleeps. Stephanie looks at Parker and Phillip walks in. Stephanie says she is in there looking for him, "I wanted to tell you I'm sorry for what I said about you and Melanie. I know you really care about her. I could tell that when I watched the two of you cavorting on the Internet." Phillip says he knows she cares, and Chloe wakes. Phillip tells her about Melanie and Nathan having Guatemala Fever and the guy who died form it. Chloe wants to know if Daniel has been exposed.

Carly tells Daniel both Melanie and Nathan are extremely weak. "This isn't about character," says Daniel.

Bo finds Carly, who tells him both Nathan and Melanie are critical. Daniel heads for the lab. Carly panics and Bo supports her.

Clhoe also panics. She worries about Daniel as Maxine walks in. Maxine calms her down a bit and Phillip and Stephanie leave. Chloe stops Maxine from taking Parker.

"I've gone on a walkabout to find myself. If you happen to find me first, please contact me."
- Jack Deveraux.

Melanie and Nathan lie in isolation. Melanie asks about the funny way the attendant is dressed. "Hazmat," says Nathan.

"Who's Matt," asks Melanie, proving she's blonde through and through. Nathan tells her the guy they caught this from died.

Rafe calls. Sami answers and tells him things are going fine. Rafe asks her not to answer if EJ calls. They end the conversation. Gabi walks in, "You've got that look."

"What look."

"The one you always have," says Gabi, "like there is only a vacuum between your ears."

Sami tells EJ Rafe will be home soon so he'd better get out, "And if you have that gun, just bring it to court." EJ asks if she wants to throw the rest of her life away. He says he chose not to show the gun to Bo because he wants control, "I have your life in my hands and I want to squeeze very hard." I'll bet he does.

Maxine tells Chloe she has to take the baby because of the Guatemala Fever outbreak. She wheels Parker out as Chloe huffs and puffs.

Bo leaves and Daniel comes up and tells Carly he has a clean bill of health. Ben says they have isolated the virus.

Speaking of isolation, we're back with Melanie and Nathan. Nathan gets up and tucks her in. They both lie there shivering. Melanie tells him she's scared. Nathan tries to be reassuring and they decide they're stuck with each other.

Gabi leaves the pub. Rafe makes a call to some mystery guy, "I need your help."

EJ says he knows it's difficult for Sami since she thought she would win. But now the tables have turned, "You tried to take my life away from me and now I will return the favor... only I will succeed."

Previews
========

Kate tells Brady, "She's going to come after everyone we love."

Nicole asks Rafe, "Will you still love her when she's convicted of attempted murder?"

Sami begs, "Please don't do this, EJ. Please. I am begging you."

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Popcorn, Anyone?

2010-11-17T11:02:00.000-08:00

Nicole is with EJ in the rumpus room telling him she can help him get his children back. Well, by golly, if she can do that, EJ will give her anything she wants. "Good," says Nicole, "Because I can hand you Sami Brady on a silver platter."

"Even the DiMeras don't own a silver platter that big," says EJ, "We did, however, just buy Weyerhaeuser and Alcoa so I could get you a piece of 4' x 8' plywood covered in tin foil.

Bo walks in on Carly at the pub. Carly's wrapping baby stuff. They get smoochy and gross out everyone in the pub, especially Jennifer, who walks up behind them.

Melanie and Nathan continue to bicker about not working together. Nathan throws up his doctor status, while the viewers simply throw up. Dr. Ben walks in and tells them to grow up. Not likely.

Daniel and Chloe gush over the kid as Phillip comes in. Daniel leaves and Phillip tells her things really worked out well — she got what she wants and Phillip got a freebie.

Stephanie walks into the hospital and Daniel finds her. He asks if everything is OK and, of course, it isn't.

Rafe tells Sami EJ's plan was to take the kids and run, but they got lucky. The kids weren't so lucky, though... they're still stuck with Sami.

Nicole tells EJ she doesn't want his wealth in return. She just wants one thing.

Rafe starts to call Roman but Sami stops him, wanting to know what happened with Nicole.

The one thing Nicole wants is... "Sydney."

EJ says nothing would make him happier, "Make sure your passport is in order and I'll send you there right away, but only if you promise never to come back." He also reminds her he doesn't have his kids right now. Well, this is, of course nothing but a small complication which Nicole suggests she can eliminate. At that, she whips out her trusty video camera-player gizmo and plays Sami's confession.

Stunned EJ nearly collapses, "OMG, that's it. That's Arianna's proof!"

"No," says Nicole, "That was the trailer to Sami's next blockbuster movie."

Jen, Bo and Carly share an uncomfortable moment. Bo the coward scoots. Jennifer sits with Carly and they try to play like everything is OK. Jennifer says she's there to work on Alice's estate but Maggie's out of town. Carly invites her to meet Daniel and Melanie, but Jennifer declines since she's already had such a bad day.

Rafe says he downloaded the virus to Nicole's computer and if she plugs the camera in it will destroy the original file itself.

EJ wonders how Nicole got the camera. She says it was in Arianna's safety deposit box. But Nicole says this is about her love for Sydney, so she tried to deal with Sami and Rafe, but things didn't work out... so she came to EJ.

"I noticed that," says EJ. He's observant like that. Nicole just wants him to give Sami what she deserves and then to be a part of Sydney's life.

Dr. Walters tells Nathan and Melanie to find replacements and sign out for the day. He leaves. Melanie and Nathan give each other looks that could kill.

Step-on-me says nothing is going on, and she heard Daniel's baby was doing well. He confirms that Chloe is doing just fine. Daniel still thinks something is going on with Stephanie. He assures her it would make life easier if she put all the Chloe-Melanie-Nathan stuff aside.

Melanie stammers, insists she loves Phillip, but says she can't work with Nathan, "It hurts too much."

"If you want to talk about pain," says Nathan, "Try working with you."

Rafe doesn't know if Nicole suspects anything. Sami congratulates him on his plan's success before they know it worked.

"Raising children is a really tough job. I don't know how the babysitters do it." -Sami Brady

Nicole says Sydney is the most important person in her life, except for Nicole, of course. She says she wasn't thinking straight by going to Sami and Rafe first.

EJ says, "If I could put the past behind me..."

"Where else would it be," asks Nicole.

"Up yours," snorts EJ.

"Well, I know for sure it's not there," says Nicole.

EJ asks, "If I could do that, do you trust me?" Nicole admits she needs him and knows he will do the right thing.

Stephanie asks about Nathan, and Daniel says he's not there, "If there is anything you need, let me know."

"You mean besides a boatload of self esteem," asks Stephanie. Daniel leaves. Stephanie decides Caroline was out of her mind to switch the results. She decides she has to let the cat out of the bag, but in a way that doesn't hurt Caroline.

Daniel is with Chloe, Phillip and Danchloephil, Jr. He takes the baby and immediately suggests letting brother-in-law-daddy Phillip hold him. Phillip takes him and passes him back to Daniel. The baby gets motion sickness and Daniel goes to see if he can find a doctor.

Rafe gets off the phone and announces the cops will be there shortly, "If you don't know what to say, call me." Meantime, he's off to the Kiriakis mansion to steal the camera. He opens the door.

EJ!

Daniel and Jennifer are together. Daniel says it's nice to meet her and Jen also asks to meet Melanie. There is no accounting for the lack of taste of some people. "When you have a child with someone it's like you're bound to them for life," says Jennifer.

"Yes," says Daniel, "They call it parenthood."

Stephanie and Phillip bump into each other and Stephanie runs like a scared rabbit.

Nathan orders a beer in the pub.

Maxine tells Dr. Walters that Javier Rodriguez has died. Dr. Walters puts another notch in his stethoscope.

Daniel joins Melanie and Chloe who are faking being able to stand each other. Daniel gets a call and leaves. Carly begs her to forgive her eventually. Melanie no can do. She runs off. Daniel stands behind Carly, "What is going on?"

Rafe showers EJ with expletives-deleted. EJ, however has something to say, "I have it, Samantha... I think you lovebirds will have a really bad day today."

Carly sloughs Daniel off. Translation: pisses him off. Bo congratulates the pair and leaves. Carly tells Daniel to talk to Melanie.

Maxine says Rodriguez was doing OK this morning. Ben asks her to find out about anyone who had contact with him.

Melanie stands alone and wonders why things feel so wrong. This happens to Melanie a lot.

Stephanie finds Nathan in the pub. Nathan lies and says they were overstaffed and he gets to take a break. Stephanie says she needs his help.

It's just Phillip and Chloe. We all know what happened the last time they were alone together: Parker. Phillip leaves as Carly comes in. Chloe thanks her for everything, "You've been an amazing friend." She senses something is wrong. Carly says it's complicated. Chloe tells her to be hopeful, "I think Melanie is going to get past this."

Jennifer stops Ben to apologize for being upset with him earlier, but Dr. Ben just rushes past her.

Rafe tells EJ he's going to jail for what he did to Sami. EJ says he thought Sami and Rafe had won. He pulls out the video camera. Sami and Rafe give us looks of shame and guilt.

EJ struts in ready to play the video, "Popcorn, anyone?"

Stephanie tells Nathan what she is about to say has to stay between them, then tells him Caroline did something awful. "I know says Nathan... and then the world got Bo."

Daniel finds Melanie at the pier. He asks why she's not at the hospital and Melanie says it doesn't matter. She asks him to go back to Parker. Daniel ain' goin' nowhere, "What is bothering you? Let me help you. You should trust me. We're in this together." More than they know.

Nicole joins Carly and Chloe. Carly leaves and Nicole says she wants to meet the Parkster. She gives Chloe a mobile from Auntie Nicole, and asks if Chloe is nervous about Carly and Melanie blabbing. Clhoe says no. Nicole tells her things are looking up.

EJ continues to play the video. Rafe gets macho, but Bo interrupts, "What's going on here?" Somebody solved a crime but once again, it wasn't Bo.

Dr. Ben tells Carly about Mr. Rodriguez dying. "Oh, no," says Carly, "I thought that was supposed to be my kill."

Nathan gets woozy. Stephanie asks if he's OK and puts her hand on his forehead, "HEAL, LORD, HEAL."

Melanie also gets woozy and faints in front of Daniel.

Nicole says Chloe got her miracle and Nicole is about to get her miracle, "It has everything to do with Sydney."

"OMG, Nicole, what have you done," asks Clhoe.

EJ encourages Samantha to tell Bo what's up. Silence. EJ decides to step up to the plate and tell.

Previews
========

Stephanie tells Phillip, "Stop pretending like you even give a damn."

EJ tells Sami, "I have proof that you tried to murder me."

Bo tells Rafe, "I know exactly what Sami's done."

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Color Me Cuckoo

2010-11-16T11:06:00.000-08:00

Well gee whillikers, since the writers think you don't have the sense to remember what was going on when we left the show yesterday, the show starts up where we left off in the Hernandez Hovel, only we rewind to Sami being distracted and EJ rushing her with either an influenza-saturated snot rag, or one full of chloroform. He clamps it over the nose and mouth of the Hernandez Hovel Hostess and it knocks her out. EJ carries her to the couch and cops a few feels. Hey, come on, what's the harm... she's unconscious. Suddenly...

"SSSCCCRRREEEEAAAAMMM!"

Allie stands in back of him and screams in horror. "What's the matter," asks EJ.

"You didn't bring me any presents," cries Allie.

"Why would I bring you a present," asks EJ, "You're not my kid."

"On this show, you never can tell," says Allie, "You'd do well to plan for future plot twists."

Back in Sarcoville, Maggie slaps at non-existent spiders. She huffs and puffs and enjoins herself to get a grip. She doesn't do a great job of it.

Stephanie and Nathan are at the pub. Caroline is there as Nathan gets a call, "WHAT?" he leaves. Stephanie says he looks upset. Caroline tells her he'll be more upset if the learns the truth.

Brady finds Melanie at the hospital. He says he's there to see Chloe and asks Melanie about delivering the baby. "Chloe had it at the cabin instead," says Melanie, "The delivery service was too expensive." She says Chloe is sleeping, but assures him things went OK. She thinks he looks rumpled and nervous.

Nicole plays with Sydney at the Kiriakis mansion as Rafe sabotages her computer. He finishes the job and walks back in. He suggests she not let Allie play with the camera or she might erase the precious copy of Sami's confession. Nicole reminds him she has backup copies.

EJ tells Allie her mommy is just sleeping.

Nicole tells Sydney how much fun they will have on Christmas. She suggests to Rafe that she have Sydney on Christmas Eve and Thanksgiving. Rafe ain' too excited about that. Nicole makes threats. "This plan of yours could backfire and bite you in the ass," says Rafe.

EJ covers Sami so she can nap. Johnny rushes out and jumps onto him.

Vivian contacts Maggie. She tells her Gus has contacted Victor and is spreading the word on something that will make people think Maggie is gone. Maggie says no one would believe she has left town without saying goodbye.

Caroline reminds Stephanie she promised she would keep quiet about the big secret. Stephanie is undecided, but thinks she has to do the right thing, if she can ever learn to tell right from wrong.

Nathan comes back and announces Victor got an email from Maggie that says she's on a cruise and doesn't know when she'll be back.

Victor is at the hospital asking Melanie about Maggie leaving. Melanie says Maggie hasn't said anything about it, "If Maggie left without telling anybody, then something is really wrong."

Nicole tells Rafe this isn't a scheme and was meant to happen. Rafe thinks she's restless and needs a diaper change. Nicole assures him she is wearing clean diapers. She leaves to check Sydney and Rafe grabs the video recorder.

EJ sends Allie off and tells Johnny his mommy isn't feeling well. He also says they will be spending lotsa time together.

Melanie calls and leaves a message for Maggie to contact her. Brady says Maggie told him to stay away from Victor and thinks she might have taken her own advice.

Nicole comes back and sees Rafe playing with the recorder. She says she knows he knew Sydney didn't need a diaper change, "You are never going to find what you are looking for."

EJ suggests he and Johnny spend time together tonight. He tells Johnny to get his stuff so they can go, and Sydney, too. Johnny announces Sydney isn't there because Rafe took her somewhere. EJ tells him to go get his things. Johnny runs off. EJ calls Marco and wonders why he hasn't been watching Rafe, "If you've blown this..." He slams down the phone, "Now what am I gonna do?" Follow the bread crumbs Rafe dropped so he could find his way back home?

Nathan says he thinks Maggie would never leave town without telling people, "We can't set a wedding date until we find out when she'll be back, OK?" Stephanie stammers.

Vivian says she chose the paint from a special collection called, "Color Me Cuckoo. I think it's working. Soon you won't even be able to remember your name."

"That doesn't bother me so much," says Maggie, "Just as long as I can remember the names of the people I'm gossiping about."

Rafe decides to hang on to the video recorder. Nicole assures him she didn't leave the proof lying around for him, "Face the facts. I hold all the cards, so get the hell out."

Rafe agrees, "But if I go... Sydney goes." Brady walks in and wants to know why Nicole is holding the baby. "Sami isn't even here," says Nicole. Rafe takes Sydney while Brady stares at Nicole.

EJ tells Johnny they will have to do this another time, "It's getting late and you have school tomorrow." He sends him back to his room to play, but assures him he'll come back. Johnny leaves. EJ tells Sami he'll be back. Sami, however has BTADD... Big Time Attention Deficit Disorder.

Melanie is with a patient, who says he was in Guatemala yesterday and doesn't feel well today. Melanie diagnoses his disease as Guatemala Fever. Nathan comes in. "Where the hell have you been," asks Melanie.

"Reading up on Guatemala Fever," says Nathan, "It's a good thing no one around here has it because it's totally fatal."

Caroline and Stephanie — same conversation.

Nicole tells Brady Rafe is trying to broker a truce between Sami and her. Rafe leaves with Sydney. Brady and Nicole stare at each other. Outside, Rafe tells Sydney if Nicole plugs the camera into her laptop it will destroy everything and Sydney will never have to see that crazy lady again.

Nicole steps up to her computer and curses. Brady questions her about it.

EJ is on the phone with Marco who reports that Rafe took Sydney to see Nicole. EJ figures Rafe wouldn't do that unless he had no choice.

Nathan questions the patient about his adventures in Guatemala, "Did anything bite you?"

"She was kind of rough but didn't bite," says the guy.

Nathan and Melanie snap at each other and Dr. Nathan takes her aside and lectures her for using "that tone of voice."

Nicole tells Brady she has a virus on her computer. Brady warns her not to try to make copies of programs or the original could self destruct. He asks what happened to her head and Nicole says she ran into a cabinet, "I also ran into Sydney the other night and realized I still love her. So I sucked it up and asked Sami if I could see her now and then. I didn't think she’d do it, but then Rafe showed up with Sydney. But I am starting to think Rafe and Sami are just playing me."

Rafe arrives back at the Hernandez Hovel. Johnny tells him mommy is asleep. Rafe puts Sydney's carrier down as Johnny tells him his daddy said his mommy didn't feel good. Rafe panics and tries to wake Sami.

OK the news guys just broke in to tell us about the Royal Engagement. Note to press: I DON"T CARE! By the way, did that Diana and Charles couple ever tie the knot?

Melanie comforts the patient and Nathan compliments her nursing skills, "Delivering that baby must have scared the hell out of you."

"Not like it scared the hell out of Chloe and the baby."

Stephanie says if Nathan finds out and figures she didn't tell him the truth, Nathan will hate her forever, "I know what I have to do."

Sami stirs. Rafe goes to her and she wakes up, "WHERE ARE THE KIDS?" She says she remembers being with Will, but can't remember anything after that. She says she feels queasy. "That's the chloroform," says Rafe, "EJ did it."

Mr. Chloroform himself is in the rumpus room. The doorbell rings and EJ answers to find Nicole. She says she's there because of what she can do for him.

Melanie begs Nathan to let her know if he finds out anything about Maggie. Nathan says he will and their bickering starts up again. He asks if she thinks Stephanie would say something about Chloe to get back at Melanie. He also offers to have her scratched off the guest list of his wedding with Stephanie. Melanie tells him she doesn't want to work with him any more.

Vivian tells Maggie it's time for dinner and offers to liven up her chicken broth with bacon bits. Vivian signs off. Maggie wonders what's happening to her, "Someone will find me... someone... please... soon."

Sami can't believe EJ did this to her. Rafe tells her what happened while she was out... that EJ was going to take the kids, but didn't because Sydney wasn't there. Rafe has found out the DiMera jet is all gassed and ready to go, "It's not gonna happen again. We got lucky." Rafe calls Roman, who hasn't gotten lucky in years.

EJ and Nicole hit the rumpus room. "Why are you here," asks EJ.

Nicole asks if he remembers when it was just her and EJ and Sydney, "Those were the good old days. I didn't lie about Sydney being your child, or about me loving her. That's why I'm here. What if I told you I could get your children back?"

"I'd give you anything you want."

"Good," says Nicole, "Because I could hand you Sami Brady on a silver platter."

"I'd rather have her on silk sheets," says EJ.

Previews
========

There were no previews. Maybe after 45 years, they're just tossing DOOL into the black hole of soapdom.

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The Smoking Gun

2010-11-15T13:21:00.000-08:00

We're at the Hernandez Hovel. Sami thinks they can't go along with Nicole's scheme. Rafe says they'll do it until they figure she can't use anything against Sami, "I will either get that camera back or make sure she can't use it."

EJ computes, "Desperate times call for desperate measures." he makes a call and tells his boyz to gas the jet so he can take a confidential trip to Switzerland. Lexie walks in.

Nicole sits in the Kiriakis parlor and tells herself not to get emotional. She flashes back to the confrontation at the Hernandez Hovel and decides, "If they bought that I have some land in Florida they might like. But... CENSORED.

Rafe tells Sami they have something Nicole wants so they can use Sydney as bait. "What else are kids good for," asks Sami.

Jennifer is with Bo at the pub. She says maybe she’ll come back for good, or bad. Bo wonders what's really up, "What is Jack pulling this time." Jen says Jack has left her.

Carly is with Hope in the visiting area. Hope asks how Bo is doing. "Not good," says Carly, "How could he be? You're in here, and not a thousand miles away."

Jen says Jack is on a walkabout, "He would rather be alone than with me. He's finding himself."

Bo thinks Jack's a jerk, "And that kinda goes along with being a guy. We guys wouldn't have it any other way." he asks if Jennifer would give Jack another chance.

Carly says Bo respects Hope and wants her to be a part of Ciara's life. Hope thinks she deserves her punishment. Carly tells her they share things in common, "Hope, why do you think he sent me here?"

"Because," says Hope, "Bo knows how much a woman loves to sit and chat with her husband's mistress."

Sami says she trusts Rafe. Rafe insists he won't let Nicole out of his sight when she has Sydney. Sami agrees and heads back to get Sydney. Rafe makes a call, "I need a favor. Something is going out over the Internet and I need to stop it before it goes viral. You got a program that can handle that? Good." He hangs up and Sami announces Sydney is ready to go. Sami, however isn't.

EJ reminds Lexie how important it is to keep things from Stefano. Lexie insists she didn't hear what EJ said. He digs out a coin, "It's the first pound I ever earned and I want to give it to Theo."

"I have the first pound I ever gained," says Lexie, "And a few more than I would like, too." She wonders if this somehow means EJ is saying goodbye.

Carly says Bo sent her with information so Hope can fix whatever is going on there. You know, evil things like keeping prisoners locked up. Carly tells her Bo is on her side.

EJ says he's not going away, but he's becoming more reflective, because of the shiny steel plate he now has in his head in place of a brain. Lexie asks what the phone call was about but she gets a call and has to leave. EJ paces, "I lied... that was goodbye."

Nicole can't believe Arianna gave her a second chance with Sydney. She makes a toast, "To Arianna. Thank you for the smoking gun!" OK... I'm not following at all. I thought Arianna had the video camera and Sami had the smoking gun.

The doorbell rings. Nicole takes a few more slugs of booze and opens the door to find Rafe and Sydney.

Hope points out that it's Carly helping Bo to everything she's got. The pair agrees to act friendly in the future so as not to arouse suspicion. Carly goes home to arouse Bo.

Will is with Sami, who tells him Rafe has taken Sydney to Nicole, "Convince me he is right. Convince me this will work out. Convince me you're the only adult in the room."

Rafe wants ground rules, "No more unscheduled visits. You bend the rules, this arrangement is off." He gives Sydney to Nicole who oohs and aahs over her. Rafe figures Nicole has been drinking and says she's broken one of the aforementioned rules. Nicole tells him to butt out. Rafe wants to keep his butt in the middle of things, however.

EJ brings his bags to Marco. Marco leaves with them as EJ tells himself he has something to do with Sami, "I will do it and I will enjoy it."

Out in the audience, an Ejami turns to her neighbor, "I hope IT is you-know-what. I'm sure he'd enjoy it."

Sami feels bad about leaning on Will but leans anyway. She tells him what with everything he's been through he's entitled to be screwed up, "But you are dependable and smart and gullible." She says Nicole scares her but they agree Rafe will protect them. She also worries Nicole will turn Sydney against her. Will assures her Rafe knows what he's doing. Wow, he really is gullible, isn't he?

"You are a great mom," Says Will.

Sami hugs him, "You have low standards." She beat me to the punch on that one. He says he has a math test to flunk since Rafe has been tutoring him, and leaves.

Nicole plays with Sydney and Rafe tells her she's actually good with her. He also asks if Sydney is the only reason Nicole didn't go to the police, "I think you hate EJ as much as she does." He also says if Nicole loves Sydney she should keep her away from EJ, "We have to start trusting each other." Nicole has a good laugh at that one.

EJ is on the phone making sure the jet is ready. He hangs up and stares at Stefano's picture. Then he takes a last look and walks out.

Leigh computes. Hope walks in and takes over. Leigh asks about Hope's visitor and says pretty soon the visitors will stop coming. Hope says she misses her job and asks what Leigh did before she came to prison. Leigh skedaddles.

Jennifer says she thinks this could be it with Jack, "I love him but don’t want to be blindsided any more." She asks Bo to keep this to himself. She leaves.

Bo shouts, "HEY, EVERYBODY, DID YOU HEAR WHAT'S UP WITH JENNIFER AND JACK?"

Rafe stares at Nicole's purse as she fiddles around with Sydney.

EJ shows up at the Hernandez Hovel, "I need to talk to you. But it might not be the most meaningful conversation since some thoughtless person shot out the part of my brain that controls speech." Sami don' got nuttin to say to him. "I want to see if we can bury the hatchet," says EJ.

"Sure," says Sami, "Right in your skull."

Jennifer shows up at the hospital and has a hugfest with Lexie. She says she's looking for Maggie, but... of course, Maggie's not there. Lexie introduces Jennifer to the very eligible Dr. Walters and leaves. Ben is charming and they shake hands, Jen drops her jaw when she sees his bracelet, "Not you, too!"

Bo and Carly are back together at the pub.

The warden comes in and compliments Hope on her industriousness. Hope asks about her background. The warden clams up.

Rafe says he has a phone call to make and leaves. Out in the hall he looks at a flash disk that his geeky pal gave him to destroy the video. He fakes a call as he plays with Nicole's computer and inserts the flash drive.

EJ says the two of them have to find a way to coexist. Sami doesn't think that's possible or necessary. She gets a call, "Is this Samantha Brady?"

"Yeah," says Sami, "Who's this?" Probably a collection agency since no one at the Hernandez Hovel is employed.

Back to Jen & Ben. Jennifer tells him about the aboriginal journey the bracelet represents. She's upset a grown man would do things like that to find himself, "But whatever floats your boat, buddy." She turns on her heel and leaves.

The warden says she just wound up there. Hope asks about Leigh and the warden brushes it off telling Hope Leigh is a trustee. She leaves and Hope wonders why everyone is keeping the past a secret. Because the past is in the past and we should let the past stay in the past and...

Bo goes outside to make a call. "It's not over between the two of you, is it," asks Carly, "Not even close."

"FILES DELETED," flashes the computer. Rafe surreptitiously pulls the flash drive out of the computer, shoves it in his pocket, and rejoins Nicole.

EJ chloroforms Sami as she tries to figure out who is on the phone. She goes unconscious and EJ carries her to the couch.

"SSCCRREEAAMM"

EJ turns to see a horrified Allie.

Previews
========
Nicole says to Rafe, "You are never ever going to find what you're looking for!"

Melanie tells Victor and Brady, "If Maggie left without telling anybody, then something is really wrong."

Vivian tells Maggie, "Soon you won't even be able to remember your name."

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

Be Afraid... Be Very Afraid

2010-11-12T11:00:00.000-08:00

Sami and Nicole pick up where they left off yesterday. It's a who-gets-to-see-Sydney-when war of words when suddenly Slammin' Sami shoves Nicole up against the wall and lands a haymaker on her left jaw. Nicole goes flying across the room and smacks her head against the counter as she splats onto the floor.

This would be a lot better if there were mud involved.

Nicole lies unconscious with blood spewing. Dr. Samantha Brady, MD checks her out and declares her dead. Dead or alive, Sami certainly seems to have an unusual desire to go after brains. Maybe she's a zombie.

Bo is at the pub ordering his boyz to widen the search area for Arianna's hit and run perp. Blonde Carly walks in and tries to settle him down. She gives Bo a file and says she has been investigating April’s death.

They drag Hope into the visitor's area where Jennifer is waiting for her. "What are you doing here," asks Hope.

"Are you not carrying a gun or are you not happy to see me," asks Jennifer.

Carly says she couldn't believe this could happen. Bo wonders how he gets this information to Hope. Uh... go see her and tell her? Just a thought.

Hope says she's happy to see Jennifer but it's painful to do. In other words, she's not happy to see her.

Jennifer says, "I came back here to get you the hell out of here."

"If I get out," says Hope, "it'll be hell all right — for everyone out there."

Sydney cries as Rafe walks into the Hernandez Hovel a.k.a. The new Salem Morgue.

Rafe checks out Nicole, "Call 911."

"Do you have the number," asks Sami.

Nicole pops back to life and accuses Sami of trying to kill her.

The warden tells Bo he can't come today since he's already been there and it's one visit per day at the prison. Bo can't count past one.

Jennifer, crack investigative reporter, tells Hope about all the people who have gotten off because they took the same drug Hope did. Hope says she doesn't want out. Jennifer says, "I am free and I want you to be free with me."

"What about Jack," asks Hope.

Chad is at the pier confronting Kate with the birth certificate. He thinks she sent it to him.

Rafe helps Nicole to the couch. Nicole says she will press charges. Rafe tells her to can it. Sami warns him to back off. Nicole says she's had a reversal of fortune about Sami, "Be afraid... be very afraid. I can prove Sami shot EJ." Nicole goes over to Sami's computer and calls up the incriminating video. Rafe casts an accusatory glance at Sami.

Bo asks the warden to tell hope he has new information on her case and won't give up on her, "Tell her Ciara is doing fine, too." He hangs up and Carly wants to know if Hope will understand the code he just passed on. They decide to go to Plan B.

The warden thinks Hope told Bo about April’s death. "If Hope starts getting mouthy, we'll shut her up."

Hope says, "Jack is your husband and you need to (say it with her) be there for him." Jennifer says Jack is off chasing a story. Translation: skirt. Jen wants to know how Hope really is doing.

Kate flashes back to preparing to mail Chad the birth certificate. Kate asks if Chad thinks the birth certificate might not be fake. He accuses her of doing that, too. Stefano interrupts with a phone call. He asks where Kate is. She snaps at him and says she didn't know she needed his permission to leave the house. She says she'll be right home and Chad tells her he's not so sure about that, "We have a lot to discuss." Stefano wants to know who was talking to her.

Nicole tells Rafe how she got the video and threatens to make it go viral. Rafe slams the computer shut, "You won't be able to do anything if you're dead. But you will have my personality."

Bo tells Carly she doesn't have to do this. "I want to help Hope," says Carly, "Just like I helped myself to her husband."

Hope says she's doing well and she gets to work in the infirmary now. "Does my being here make it worse for you," asks Jennifer."

"Me and everybody else," says Hope. "You're not just my cousin, you're like my sister. And on this show, you might actually be my sister."

Kate tells Chad he doesn't want to be on the wrong side of Stefano. Chad says he's not afraid of Stefano, but thinks Kate is trying to make trouble for him. Kate says he needs to be careful, "You're in turmoil right now."

"Turmoil," asks Chad, "I thought I was in Salem."

Rafe pushes Nicole around and asks what she wants, "Tell me... and this better be good."

Bo leaves and finds Jennifer outside. She says she saw Hope and she's not doing so well, but perked up when she talked about her job in the infirmary.

They drag Hope in for another visitor. This time Carly. Bo, Jennifer and Carly. Today time Hope really is a three-time loser.

The warden and Leigh don't like all the visitors Hope is getting. The warden thinks she may have to isolate her.

Rafe presses. Nicole calls for Sydney. She says she doesn't want custody. She just wants to know Sydney and be a part of her life, "In return I won't say anything about the video. Deal or no deal?"

Jen and Bo are inside the pub. Jennifer says she's scared for Hope, "Why does she want to punish herself?"

"She joined Opus Dei," says Bo.

Hope wants to know what Carly has found out.

Kate warns Chad to back off, "Stefano can be very generous. But he also can be a formidable enemy. If he thinks you're trying to con him you're in trouble. Or he'll believe you're his son and blame your mother for betraying him."

Marco tells Stefano the trail has gone cold. Stefano rages because Marco has brought him nothing, "Find out who did this and deal with them."

Rafe tells Sami they don't have a choice. Nicole softens and says she loves Sydney, "I want what's best for her. But since I can't get her a new mother I'll settle for the situation we have. I want you with her. I just want to see her and have her know my name." Rafe tells her if she goes back on this she'll have to deal with him. He and Sami agree, but insist on going slow so as not to raise suspicion. He asks Nicole to go. On her way out Nicole tells Sami she is a lucky woman to have Rafe. She leaves and Sami puts Rafe in a bear hug, "I love you so much."

Jennifer tells Bo Hope misses him. Bo isn’t sure about that, but asks about Jack and the kids. Jennifer gives him a nebulous answer, then says Abby is in Spain and Jack Jr. is in boarding school, "Sami isn't the only pro at dumping her kids. Jack is off chasing a story." Translation: skirt.

Hope says Leigh is really a doctor, then realizes when April was in trouble Hope wanted a doctor and Leigh was right there. She says she knows April’s cause of death was not what they told her.

Kate returns to the rumpus room. Chad calls, but says nothing when Stefano answers.

Sami and Rafe sit on the couch. Rafe usually calls this getting to first base. They talk about their situation. Sami is proud of Rafe for scaring the hell out of Nicole. Rafe gives a Barney Fife nose sniff and is full of himself for beating up on someone half his weight. He promises Sami he's there for the long haul. It'll be a long haul all right.

Carly says Bo thinks Hope is right that something wrong is going on in the infirmary, "He wants you to be careful."

"I want that for him, too," says Hope, "I hope you are using protection." She asks, "How is Bo doing?"

"Not good."

"So," says Hope, "You really are still sleeping together."

Jennifer says being there seems just like home. Bo wants to know what's really going on with her.

Stefano screams into the phone asking who it is, but Chad hangs up. Kate asks who it was. Stefano says he doesn't know, "They obviously don't want to talk to me."

Nicole arrives at the Kiriakis mansion calling for Brady. No answer. That calls for a drink, "Alone again. Always alone."

She imagines Sydney being there and preparing to go to Harvard. She also imagines Sydney ragging on Sami and saying Nicole has been more of a mother to her than Sami or all the babysitters Sami sent her to, "One step at a time, Nicole."

Sami says Rafe had her going when he was threatening Nicole. She thinks he was trying to make her feel better when he told her she had nothing to worry about. Rafe says he thinks Nicole is a classic example of someone who will take a mile when you give her an inch. He says they'll go along with her until they're certain she can't hurt them.

Previews
========

Carly asks, "Hope, why do you think he sent me here?"

Nicole makes a toast, "To Arianna. Thank you for the smoking gun!"

EJ tells Sami, "I need to talk to you!"

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

A Real Blockbuster

2010-11-11T11:00:00.001-08:00

We're back at the Horton cabin where Florence Nightingale Layton-Kiriakis is compassionately tending to Chloe. Chloe is singing one of her opera arias, although the volume is way too high for most people's taste. Oh, waitaminute... that's not Clhoe singing... it's a banshee wailing... no... banshees wail a lot better than Chloe sings, so it must be... YES! Chloe is screaming in excruciating pain as her labor continues. OK, now I'm on track. I wondered why Chloe's singing sounded so good. Melanie coaches, "OK... the baby's eyes are out..."

Chloe blubbers, "What do you mean its EYES are out? Don't they usually come out with the head?"

"Yeah," says Melanie, "But in this case, the eyes are bugged out so far they got there ahead of everything else. And... the baby's face is blue. OMG! That must mean it's a boy!"

Caroline is counseling Stephanie about the BIG SECRET. "Maybe Chloe will be bright enough to keep her mouth shut about who the baby's father is and you'll get Nathan."

"Chloe isn't bright enough to light a dark room."

Brady and Rafe look through Arianna's things. Rafe is over-obvious that he wants a camera and Brady thinks it contains proof of who shot EJ. Speak of the devil, the devil himself walks in. So does EJ.

Nicole shows back up at the Hernandez Hovel and tells Sami Sydney will be back in her life with Sami's blessing, "I know everything about how you shot EJ."

Chloe huffs, puffs and squeals. Melanie encourages her to push. Melanie flies across the room, "The baby," says Melanie, "Not me, you nincompoop!"

EJ says both he and Rafe are there for the video, no matter what Rafe says.

Sami plays it cool and suggests Nicole has been talking to EJ. Nicole says she didn't learn this from EJ. Nicole tells her to check her email. Sami checks. "I sent you a video," says Nicole, "It's a real blockbuster."

Chloe pushes, Melanie pulls. Daniel and Phillip arrive right along with baby boy Jonas... or Kiriakis, as it were. Daniel cleans the kid up and hands the two-month old baby to Chloe.

Caroline rags on Phillip for giving up Pocket-Tyler-Whoozits and mocks Stephanie about what would happen if she told the big secret. Stephanie says she has made up her mind and she's already called Uncle Roman.

Nicole helps Sami and the video with Sami's big confession comes up. Sami hyperventilates, "I... How did you get this?"

Nicole says she found the video camera, "Sometimes things just fall into your lap."

"Like Rafe," says Sami, "That happens to me a lot." She rummages through Nicole's purse looking for the camera.

Daniel wants to get Chloe to the hospital. Chloe reluctantly agrees. Daniel thinks the baby needs better timing, "You scared the hell out of me, son."

"Wait till he drives a car," says Chloe.

"At least Arianna won't be around for him to go after," Says Daniel.

Caroline tells Stephanie, "I hope you're ready for the fallout." Believe me, if Stephanie doesn't button the top she's wearing there will be fallout of a different kind. Caroline says she’ll escort Stephanie to the station.

Roman is with Nathan at the hospital. He congratulates him on the big engagement. Roman announces he and Stephanie are meeting today and Nathan expresses surprise.

EJ says he's talking about the video of the will. He says he doesn't have anything to remember Arianna by so he asks for a copy of the will. Brady tells him to take it up with Justin. They stop him from going through Arianna's things and EJ leaves. Brady notes that Rafe and EJ seem to be after the same camera. Brady recaps what happened with the accident, but Rafe wonders if Brady is taking stock in what EJ said. Brady asks him, "Sami shot EJ, didn't she?"

"Yes, she did," says Rafe, "But she deliberately hit him in an area where she knew she couldn't do any damage — his brain."

Nicole is amused. She tells Sami she didn't bring the camera there, but all of the Internet can see her make her confession now. She starts the video again, but Sami stops it. Nicole says if they get the gun out of the river they can still get her fingerprints off of it, "Tell my homies in prison I said 'Hi.'" Nicole says she is either ready to make a deal or ready to go viral with the video.

Daniel and Chloe sit on the bed and check out the kid. Chloe worries that they haven’t picked a name yet. Daniel says they will figure that later. Chloe asks if Melanie wants to hold him and Melanie rushes to accept. "I'm your big sister," says the kid's step-mom. Daniel gets emotional and Phillip suggests a picture of the happy, if not totally dysfunctional, family.

Rafe covers for Sami, but Brady doesn't buy it. Brady also assures Rafe he can't stand EJ and hopes the proof went poof.

Meanwhile Nicole continues to pressure Sami. She says she didn't confront Sami before this because it was EJ she shot and there are extenuating circumstances with him, "I won't tell, but you have to do what I say... Sydney."

Roman is with Caroline and Stephanie but Stephanie asks for a moment alone with Caroline. Roman leaves and Stephanie says she's going to tell Roman SHE switched the results. Caroline doesn't thing that's right, but decides she could do without the 20 years in prison that would bring her. Nathan interrupts and asks about Stephanie's meeting with Roman. Stephanie decides to go find him as they wheel Chloe and Danchloephil Jr. in.

EJ is in the rumpus room on the phone asking about Arianna's will. He wants a copy and asks for Justin to call. He hangs up and wonders what happened to the evidence.

Nicole says she doesn't want custody but just wants to be part of Sydney's life. Sami (or the personality she has brought forth at the moment) ain' happy. Nicole presents her case, "You have to admit I was a great mother. I can't be a mother now and Sydney is it for me. Unless we come up with an arrangement the only time you can see her is during visiting hours." Sydney cries and Nicole goes to check on her.

Nathan hauls Danchloephil Jr. to the natal unit. Melanie tells Stephanie what happened at the cabin. Stephanie figures out Phillip was there and stammers. "One minute Chloe was in all this pain," says Phillip, "And the next minute there was a little baby in the room." Named Melanie.

Rafe thinks EJ will do anything possible to get back at Sami. He reminds Brady Sami was with him the night EJ was shot.

Sami blocks Nicole from getting to Sydney. "OK," says Nicole, "Then have fun in the big-house. Going to prison will be a bubble bath compared to what would happen to you if EJ sees that video." Sami suggests EJ may get custody. Nicole says she doesn't want that but leaves to "file the story."

Daniel and Chloe are in THE hospital room smooching. Melanie joins them and Daniel goes to check on the baby. Chloe thanks Melanie for what she did. Melanie don' wan' no stinkin' thanks, "I did it for my little brother. I'm not going to tell Daniel either."

Daniel wheels Danchloephil, Jr. in and gives him to Phillip to hold.

EJ obsesses over the the statuette, "Why this... what does it mean?" He crushes it.

Sami catches Nicole and brings her back inside. Nicole insists she isn't asking for much, but just wants a small part in Sydney's life. Sami says if she did that people would figure out that something is up. Nicole says they can just tell people they had a heart-to-heart. Unfortunately, they would need two hearts to do that. Sami doesn't think saving her freedom will be worth anything if Nicole is involved in their lives. "You should have thought about Sydney before you pulled the trigger," says Nicole. She turns to leave and Slammin' Sami attacks.

Phillip bounces the baby. Caroline watches. Melanie comes out and Phillip introduces his brother-in-law. He passes the kid back to Daniel and everyone stares.

Daniel brings the baby into Mama Clhoe. Daniel suggests naming the kid after his mom, who's maiden name was Parker — also a cross between Pocket and Tyler.

Phillip and Melanie watch through the blinds. "You're really into this baby, aren't you," asks Melanie.

"Yeah," says Phillip, "I'm ready to be a father." Hope so, because...

In Salem you don't have to worry about what other people think... because they don't do it very often.

Stephanie tells Roman things aren't a big deal and backs out of their meeting. Roman leaves. Caroline tells Stephanie she did the right thing. "For now," says Stephanie.

Rafe goes through the box and finds no proof, "Whatever she had must've died when she did." Brady thinks EJ won't buy it. Rafe leaves.

EJ picks up the pieces of the statuette and finds nothing. Then he gazes over at his desk and walks over to I. He looks at the picture of Johnny.

CAT FIGHT!

Sami slugs Nicole, who hits her head on the table and goes down in flames and a pool of blood.

Previews
========

Chad tells Kate, "I'm going to find out the truth one way or another."

Jennifer tells Hope, "I came back here to get you the hell out of here."

Nicole's head gushes blood. Rafe checks her out. Sami gasps, "Rafe, I think she's dead!"

NOTE – you can now follow Prevuze on twitter at: http://twitter.com/prevuze

That Barn Bred Little Hick

2010-11-10T11:07:00.000-08:00

Clhoe is in labor, but crack nurse Melanie insists she's not falling for it. "This baby is coming NOW," yells Chloe.

Phillip offers to do the honors to open the sarcophagus.

Vivian in the other room tells him to stop.

Stefano learns EJ has men dragging the sewers for clues, and for the next delivery to the pub for lunch. Stefano wonders what if it turns out Samantha isn't the one who shot EJ.

The aforementioned Samantha cleans the Hernandez Hovel as Rafe comes out and announces Johnny is asleep, "He's upset about my sister. He's a good kid. I love him... and you... I don't know what I'd do without you."

"I am (say it with her) here for you," says Sami, "I am (say it with her) here for you always." She vows Rafe will never lose her. If he does, with his skills as a sleuth, he'll never be able to find her, that's for sure.

Nicole watches Sami's confession and gasps, "What the hell am I supposed to do with this?"

EJ insists Sami shot him, he will prove it and get his kids back. Stefano says he's frustrated and wants results, "Time keeps moving on. Pretty soon the past will be in the future. It's time for Plan B. Let Prevuze have that stupid Plan 9 from outer space."

Nicole continues to watch the big confession, "Sami put a bullet in EJ's brain. How could she do that when the bullet was bigger than the brain?"

Chloe is either in labor or totally overacting. Melanie Layton Kiriakis, RN, denies it could be labor. Daniel calls and she tells him she's at the island. "My water broke," yells Chloe.

"Water can't break unless it's ice," says Nurse Melanie.

Vivian begs Victor not to open the lid as Maggie wonders what's going on. Victor thinks Vivian's being weird. With Vivian I don't see how he can tell. Victor tells her goodbye and tells Phillip Vivian doesn't want to see him because she's "not at her best." They leave to get a drink as Maggie wails.

Sami tells Rafe she doesn't deserve him. I don't know, she's led a pretty bad life, I think she got what she deserved. That calls for a suggestion to get married. Rafe is rarin' to go and, hey, Arianna is soooo yesterday. Sami is worried about what might happen, but the Rafester is in control.

Brady walks in on Nicole who tells him she was just looking through Arianna's things. Rafe calls and asks if Brady has seen Arianna's things. He says not much to report as Nicole stuffs the video recorder into her purse. Rafe asks about a camera Arianna had, but Brady tells him it's not in there.

Gus consoles distraught Vivian about the way Victor was talking to her. "That barnbred little hick Maggie will suffer," says Vivian. She calls Maggie and taunts.

Brady asks if Rafe wants to come by and look through Arianna's things. Rafe hangs up and tells Sami there was no camera. Sami is relieved and sorry Rafe had to do that. "I would do anything for you," says P.W. Hernandez.

Brady tells Nicole Rafe was only interested in the camera, "I have a hunch it contains the reason Arianna died."

"Really," says Nicole, "Wow. If you had that proof what would you do with it?" Brady notes it was Arianna's dying wish he get his kids back. He says if Sami shot him he wouldn't blame her a bit.

Stefano thinks it's for the best he not reveal plan B to EJ. He asks if EJ is willing to do whatever it takes to get his kids back.

Melanie finally gets it and announces Chloe is in labor, and the keys to the boat are gone, "I can't deliver this baby."

"Yes you can," says Daniel, "But you won't have to. The average labor is 20 hours."

Chloe overhears, "TWENTY HOURS. TO HECK WITH THAT $%*@#!"

Melanie tries to comfort her.

Phillip arrives for the board meeting and Daniel tells him Chloe is in labor. Phillip tells him to meet him at the pier for a boat ride.

Brady finds a necklace he gave Arianna and reminds Nicole he had planned to marry Arianna. Victor walks in and tells Nicole to take a hike. She leaves and Victor says they will no longer have any contact with the "wicked witch of the graveyard."

Maggie insists people will worry about her. Vivian disagrees and says people will think she went on her cruse. Maggie cries and frets.

EJ tells Stefano to back off, "I'm handling things."

"Not Sami's 'things,'" says Stefano. He says if he stays out of it EJ's kids will grow up calling Rafe 'daddy.'

Rafe and Sami cuddle on the couch. Rafe insists, "I have to focus on you."

"Focusing," asks Sami, "Is that what you call it when you're on me?"

Rafe refuses to let Sami blame herself for the shooting, "You snapped. What rational person wouldn't have done that?" Sami reminds him she's not rational.

Nicole is outside the pub, sees a woman with her kid and remembers moments with Sydney. She pulls out the recorder, "If I could get a second chance with Brady... why not Sydney?"

Phillip and Daniel wait for the boat at the pier and hope the baby doesn't arrive before them.

Chloe says this isn't the way she imagined it, "I WANTED DRUGS!" Melanie tells her to relax. Oh, right.

Sami worries that someone might find the camera, "You can't protect me from everything."

"I can sure as hell try."

"I want to marry you and spend all the Days Of Our Lives together," says Sami, "but I shot EJ in the head."

"So, you couldn’t have done any damage," says Rafe.

Sami says these kinds of things happen to her all the time. Rafe insists he can handle it. He dives in and handles a couple of other things.

Nicole wonders what will happen if she puts the video on the six o'clock news. In my town a video of that length would be interrupted at least three times with commercials.

Chloe screams. Melanie gets blankets and grimaces, "If we're going to do this I have to take a look at what's going on 'down there.' She peeks and calls Daniel, "The baby is coming now, dad."

Victor doesn't want Brady blaming himself for Arianna's death. He also says Vivian is his responsibility, but gets a call, "Aw, damn. Keep me informed." He hangs up and tells Brady they have another crisis to worry about.

Sami and Rafe aren't in a crisis. Heat is more like what they're in.

Marco brings EJ a compact. EJ thinks it's useless as evidence and sends Marco back into the fray. Stefano tells him to get a grip. EJ refuses to let Stefano take care of things.

Well, speaking of taking care of things, Rafe certainly is. He and Sami are in bed and he assures Sami they're getting married. Sami thinks it's too soon. Rafe reads from the Guy Manual, "Arianna would want it that way."

Victor tells Brady Gus has escaped. They head for the mausoleum.

Vivian tells Maggie she has been planning this for months. Maggie doesn't understand why Vivian would hate her so much. Vivian says she knows Maggie moved in on Victor when she thought Vivian was gone, "When you hear what happens next you'll laugh your little a** off."

"I wish you'd reconsider, but thanks for the compliment about my a**," says Maggie.

Melanie tells Chloe to push. Chloe screams and pushes. "Uh-oh," says Melanie.

"What is it," screams Chloe."

"A baby."

"My job is finished here, Tonto," says the masked man. He kisses Sami goodbye and leaves. Nicole shows up.

Victor and Brady are back. Victor speculates Gus took off for South America and thinks they have nothing to worry about.

Vivian sings "The worms crawl in, the worms crawl out, the worms play pinochle on your snout." Maggie wails.

Vivian tells Gus she can't get her failures out of her mind, "What if Victor finds out you escaped." Gus says he's covered his tracks. "I'm not that excited bout victory over a henna-haired little farm girl. I've sunk so low."

Rafe is with Brady. Brady insists he let Arianna down. Rafe says he did, too.

"Arianna left me everything she had. Unfortunately, that works out to me owing Quikie Cash $14,293" -Brady Black

Marco comes back in to see Stefano and says he was outside and didn't mean to eavesdrop, "Shall I go ahead with that assignment we discussed."

"Absolutely."

EJ stands outside, "I don't know why I didn't think of that before."

Nicole says she's there to see how Sydney is doing. Sami says she can never see her again. Nicole claims she will be a big part of Sydney's life and Sami will make that happen.

Melanie says the umbilical chord is wrapped around the baby's neck. Pushing ensues. "The baby's head is blue," says Melanie.

"What does that mean," asks Chloe.

"The father must've been one of the Blue Men," says Melanie.

Chloe screams, "Is the baby dead?"

Previews
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Caroline tells Stephanie, "I hope you're ready for the fallout."

Sami blocks Nicole, "No, you are not getting near my daughter."

Brady asks Rafe, "Sami shot EJ, didn't she?"

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