Friday, January 30, 2015

A Danosecond

Nanosecond – One billionth of a second. Danosecond - The amount of time Dan & Nicole were together this time. #DAYS
 
Mandrake wants to know if Theresa's mind is still a blank. No worries there. #DAYS
 
Eve: "I've figured how to make our problem go away." She can reverse time? #DAYS
 
Nicole says she cares about all her ex-lovers. She must be the most caring woman in Salem... except for Kate. #DAYS

Thursday, January 29, 2015

Poof!

Brady: "So our date is just dinner and goodbye?" Translation: Negative nookie night. #DAYS
 
Theresa: "It's gone... poof! That's what happens with all my dreams." And your boyfriends. #DAYS
 
So Edward was writing while he was off his meds.  He must've been a #DOOL writer. #DAYS
 
Victor walks in on Melanie & Brady: "For the love of God." Neither love nor God has anything to do with it. #DAYS

Nicole's Butt

Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Boring Is The New Exciting

Frankly, this Paul, Will, Sonny coincidence is too lame even for #DAYS.
 
Stefano asks if he's boring Chad. On #DOOL boring is the new exciting. #DAYS
 
Nicole wants to expose the truth. How can you expose it without knowing what it is in the first place? #DAYS

Tuesday, January 27, 2015

The World Champion

Apparently Nicole thinks shaking a thumb drive makes it copy data from a computer faster.  #DAYS
 
Nicole to Serena: "I am so glad we did this." Same line she used on Daniel in bed yesterday. #DAYS
 
Kate tells Will everyone makes mistakes.  He should listen to her.  She's the world champion. #DAYS
 
If it keeps it up, Salem could get up to a foot of vinyl snow. #DAYS

Hard On Her

Monday, January 26, 2015

Dumbest Guy In Town

Chase wonders why Hope and Ciara can't go to the beach house with them.  Because that's where the bodies are buried. #DAYS
 
Eric: "Serena and I have history." Translation: Monkey sex is better on the African plains where you can learn from the monkeys. #DAYS
 
Nicole to Serena: "You don't like me; I don't like you." It sounds kind of like the Barney song but somehow different. #DAYS
 
OMG! Hope mentioned Shawn Douglas. If he comes back that aces out Rafe as the dumbest guy in town. #DAYS
 
If Clyde isn't dead, Damon is the worst shot this side of the Pecos. #DAYS

Friday, January 23, 2015

Dough-See-Dough

Shucks. If only Jennifer would have caught Eve and JJ In Flagrante Delicto. It would have been so In Prevuze Delicio. #DAYS
 
Victor says Clyde wants to do-si-do into Salem and take over. Clyde's game is more dough-see-dough. #DAYS
 
Ciara and Chase are going to San Francisco on their class trip?! My class went to the local pork rendering plant. #DAYS
 
Clyde says Paris isn't heaven on earth because it doesn't have Kate. Neither does heaven... and never will. #DAYS

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Theresa "Your-Place-Or-Mine" Donovan

Ben, there is something guys who have a pair say to guys like Chad in your situation: "Take this job and shove it." #DAYS
 
Eve says Theresa is acting crazy. With Theresa "your-place-or-mine" Donovan, it's not an act. #DAYS
 
When Ben jumped the counter and broke that glass, I don't think that was in the script but it looked good. #DAYS
 
Eve and JJ have chemistry.  Then again, so does an atomic bomb when it reaches critical mass. #DAYS

Separated at Birth - Theresa Donovan And...

Theresa jumped into bed with Clint before she even knew his name.  The woman's easier than a one-square crossword puzzle.

Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Looks That Could Kill... Brains That Are Already Dead

Man, there are blow-up sex dolls that are harder to get into bed than Theresa. $DAYS
 
JJ and Paige: Looks that could kill... brains that are already dead. #DAYS
 
I vote for Melanie and Brady not to date. We don't want their spawn in the gene pool. #DAYS
 
Theresa is so choosy about her men she almost learns their first names before sleeping with them. #DAYS

Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Bastard Spawn

Damon wonders why a hillbilly is in Victor's business. Even without Clyde it's not exactly a high-class profession. #DAYS
 
Protip: If your boss talks about you the way Chad is talking about Ben, it's time to dust off your resume. #DAYS
 
Rafe orders Clyde to leave. Clyde 1, Rafe 0. #DAYS
 
Victor growls: "Stefano sent his bastard spawn to check us out." Drat the bad luck, Victor, your bastard spawn is out of town. #DAYS

Monday, January 19, 2015

His Life Is Just One Big Country Song

Chad says Ben won't lose his job as long as Chad's dating Jordan. Translation: As long as she's putting out. #DAYS
 
Paul: "It would destroy my grandfather to find out I'm a dōseiai." Is it politically correct to say that? #DAYS
 
Clyde to Jordan: "I done you wrong, girl." His life is just one big country song. #DAYS
 
Daniel, Rafe and Eric break up the best catfight so far this year.  Who invited them to the party? #DAYS
 
Clyde says he's not good at controlling his temper.  That's not exactly material for breaking news.  #DAYS

Miniskirt Melee

Nicole and Serena's smackdown of quivering flesh and flying fists:

video

Friday, January 16, 2015

A Different Kind Of Pitch

The Guinness Book of World Records officially names Theresa the World's Youngest Cougar as she goes on the prowl again. #DAYS
 
Maggie wonders if Melanie and Brady are "Friends with benefits." No, just friends with a nosy busybody around the house. #DAYS
 
Lucas doesn't understand what the great pitcher Paul Narita is doing in Salem. He's making a different kind of pitch. #DAYS
 
Anne's exit from the club makes me wonder if she needs to be tested for epilepsy. #DAYS

Thursday, January 15, 2015

I Love The Smell Of Testosterone In The Morning

Daniel reserves veto power for fathers with impetuous daughters. Shall we break it to him that Melanie's honor is beyond saving? #DAYS
 
Eve tells Paige, "JJ showed you his true colors." He showed Eve a lot more. #DAYS
 
Daniel and Brady in the same room. I love the smell of testosterone in the morning. #DAYS
 
Jordan heads back to the hospital.  I'm sure all the booze she drank at Clyde's will help her do her job there. #DAYS
 
Brady and Melanie sittin' in a tree B-O-R-I-N-G-ME #DAYS

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

For Relationship Harmony...

Aiden, for relationship harmony, "Please let me handle it" works better than "None of your damn business." #DAYS
 
Jennifer doesn't want Eve to barge in then doesn't want her to stomp out. #DAYS
 
The only people in Salem who can get along are the ones over in the cemetery. #DAYS
 
Marlena hopes things work out for Rafe. You could list on a pin head the times things have worked out for him. #DAYS

Tuesday, January 13, 2015

He Bagged Her

Aiden calls Bree and says he's upset she said he threatened her... and threatens her. #DAYS
JJ mocks Eve and says he told Jennifer he "bagged" her. I love all the substitute words for the ones we can't say. #DAYS
JJ promises no one will ever find out about him and Eve. What an idiot. February sweeps are right around the corner. #DAYS
In her romantic flashbacks why didn't Paige remember the time she went into JJ's bedroom for monkey sex? #DAYS
Eve: "JJ will always do the wrong thing." Or the wrong woman. #DAYS

Monday, January 12, 2015

Sloppy Seconds And Blowing Smoke

Victor should offer Rafe a job he's suited for — like being a potted plant in the Kiriakis mansion foyer. #DAYS
 
While Will was rounding third base and scoring big with Paul, Sonny never made it past the on-deck circle. #DAYS
 
Question: Is there any member of the Salem Hospital board who is not a crime boss or former hooker? #DAYS
 
Anne uses both "sloppy seconds" and "blowing smoke" in one metaphorific sentence. #DAYS

Thursday, January 08, 2015

Existential

Brady and Melanie have a lot in common... starting with the same grandmother. #DAYS
Will proves gays should be able to get married. They should have the same right to cheat as straight people do. #DAYS
I was less nervous about getting a date for my Junior High sock hop than "experienced" Brady & Melanie are about hooking up. #DAYS
Melanie says she doesn't want to continue the existential conversation with Brady. So, "existential" means "tedious?" #DAYS

Wednesday, January 07, 2015

A Walk Of Shame

Theresa and Melanie stop fighting long enough to show Brady their fangs.  At least they agree on something. #DAYS
 
Brady and Melanie: some collect Hello Kitty; some collect Hummel Figurines; Brady collects wackadoodle. #DAYS
 
Abby opens Ben's door to find Clyde.  Her mundane trip to work suddenly becomes a walk of shame. #DAYS
 
Speaking of which: Q)What do they call a walk of shame for a guy? A)A walk of triumph. #DAYS

Tuesday, January 06, 2015

Annoying

Melanie thinks Anne is annoying. Takes one to call one. #DAYS
 
Statesville finds out Rafe isn't coming and cancels plans to build a "Hernandez Wing." #DAYS
 
Brady neglects to tell Melanie the present is from Maggie. The drugs he was on friend too many brain cells. #DAYS

Monday, January 05, 2015

Forgive Me And Jump My Bones

Ben's not struggling too much as a barista. I know flowers. That's a $125 bouquet... if he got it at a florist and not Walmart. #DAYS
 
Theorem: If you bump into someone in Salem it will be someone you hate. Serena bumps into Nicole. Quod Erat Demonstrandum. #DAYS
 
Victor: "Brady and Melanie are acting like two squirrels in a bag." The squirrels however, would be smart enough to get out of the bag #DAYS
 
After Will said "I'm going to disappear" can someone tell me what Paul said? I couldn't hear over the audience cheering. #DAYS
 
Nicole to Daniel: "Blah blada blah blah blada blada blah blah blah blada. Blah blada..." Translation: "Forgive me and jump my bones." #DAYS

Friday, January 02, 2015

Roaring Back Like A Freight Train

Melanie says Nicole asked her not to say anything.  A waste of breath. Melanie inherited Maggie's gossip gene. #DAYS
 
So, it's New Year's Eve in Salem? What time zone are they in? #DAYS
 
Daniel kicks Nicole to the curb — a place she's been so many times she should set up residence. #DAYS
 
Serena knows how hard it is to lose Eric. Hard enough to pull out all the stops and come roaring back at him like a freight train. #DAYS

Thursday, January 01, 2015

Prevuze — A Decade Of Snark

Today is Prevuze' 10th anniversary.  Here is the very first post from 10 years ago today, January 1, 2005. http://bit.ly/1wrr3AS #DAYS

Thanks to all Prevuze readers for your support and encouragement.

Blogarama     Globe Of Blogs